Deepest Fears

Seven Deadly Sins

A/N: Hey ya'll, sorry for the late update. Aff has been having some wonky updates lately and I had to change some things so I'm sorry if the formatting is a bit different than it usually is. :( Nonethless, please enjoy! After this chapter we'll be staying mostly in the Present, and the storyline will finally begin to pick up and ACTION IS GOING TO START WOOP! xoxo

 

//

 

“Would Prince Seokjin be opposed to becoming one of my kings, as well?”

 

You wished that you didn’t go as pale as you did.

 

You wished that you didn’t suddenly feel the urge to throw up.

 

And you certainly, most definitely wished that you didn’t suddenly feel like a part of you had been stolen away, rendering you almost unable to breathe.

 

You forced yourself to keep your composure, to not make a scene. You were only a mere court girl—even if your mother was the only royal concubine of the emperor, there was only so much that your status allowed you to do. And creating a commotion during such an important tea was certainly not something that was recommended.

 

You waited for Seokjin’s response with bated breath. What was he going to say? He had said that he didn't want to marry, but Prince Suho was handsome. And perhaps if two Royal Fire children married into the Royal Air Kingdom, then the bond between the two would become better and then—

 

“The offer is quite tempting,” Seokjin responded, a sweet tinge to his words, but tone firm. “But I am afraid that I am going to have to politely decline, Prince Suho. I must do my best to look after my own. I'm sure you understand, yes?”

 

Thank the Lord that Prince Suho was not one to rise to anger. The Air Kind was always so calm and levelheaded.

 

“It is perfectly understandable,” Prince Suho laughed. “But with a face so handsome as yours, I thought that I must at least try once.”

 

He smiled so charmingly. So perfectly.

 

A few seconds passed, and Seokjin spoke yet again.

 

“I feel as if my tea has run cold,” he said, a tad louder than he usually was. “Could I have a new brew?”

 

You didn't realize that he was calling for you until he cleared his throat loudly.

 

“Ah! Of course, Your Highness.” You scurried over to his seat and hastily placed his teacup back onto the serving tray, picking everything up and backing away. Your mind was fuzzy, but your body knew these actions at heart. You weren't quite sure why you felt so faint, like the blood wasn't quite flowing to your blood. You knew that you were being ridiculous, so worried about Prince Seokjin being married off. But how could you not be?

 

You made it three feet away from the gazebo, on your way to the kitchens, when you tripped and the whole entire tray went absolutely flying.

 

Porcelain and fine china shattered right before your eyes, and you immediately knew that you were in trouble. Getting down onto your knees, your hands and your mind was a-flurry, desperately trying to push past the huge folds of your skirt. You were trying to pick up broken pieces, but your hair was coming undone and it was in your face and your heart was pounding, the only thing you could think about was what if.

 

What if Seokjin had said yes? What if Seokjin was gone one day?

 

It was inevitable, wasn't it?

 

The both of you were getting older. It wasn't as if you were kids anymore.

 

Fresh blood glowed a crimson red under the artificial sun.

 

You breathed deeply, trying to catch some air. But all it did was force your brain into thinking more, thinking even deeper.

 

It clicked.

 

The fact that you and Seokjin weren't going to be together in the future—it clicked.

 

There would be a time where you would never see him again.

 

“S-S-S-Seokjin—”

 

Your hands were shaking, curling into the sharp shards and piercing your skin.

 

“Princess, princess!”

 

And then he was right in front of you.

 

Prince Seokjin, those broad shoulders bathed in ruby silk and hair encrusted with beads to perfection.

 

“Sh,” he hushed you. He was kneeling down in front of you, trying to pry your hands away from the mess. The tea had spilled all over your dress, but you couldn't care less. All you could see was Seokjin. “Princess, are you okay? Hm?”

 

“S-Seokjin—”

 

Your palm stung as a shard of teacup slightly clung to a cut as you took your hand away.

 

Took your hand away to cup his cheek, bloodied fingers staining his beautiful skin.

 

He intertwined his hand with yours. “What's wrong, beautiful? What happened?”

 

You would never hear his concern for you ever again.

 

He would never just come to your rescue ever again.

 

You wouldn't even see him ever again.

 

You clamped a hand over your mouth to stifle a sob.

 

“Oh, princess,” Seokjin said. “It was the marriage proposal, wasn't it? Be honest with me, beautiful.”

 

You could only oh-so painfully nod.

 

“We're never going to see each other ever again,” you whispered.

 

And you couldn't imagine a life with Seokjin. You just couldn't.

 

“That's not true,” Seokjin protested fiercely. “I've already told you—I have no interest in marrying.”

 

“But what if you have to?!” you whispered fiercely. “What if the Others eventually capture you or something—”

 

“I won't let that happen,” Seokjin said.

 

“You don't know that!”

 

You simultaneously wanted to rip your hand out of his and bury your face in his chest at the same time.

 

“Is everything alright here?”

 

A new voice sounded from above both of you, strict and stern. It reminded you of the bark on trees, rough and harsh but somehow also nurturing.

 

It reminded you of Lady Mo, and Lady Mo it was indeed.

 

She was a fairly plain women, her hair secured at the top of her head with a simple wooden pin. Her robes were green like matcha, and the sash around her waist was the color of mahogany to match. All in all, she embraced her position as head of the kitchens quite nicely.

 

As well as did the unforgiving expression on her face.

 

Your eyes bugged out and your hand retracted immediately. You desperately tried not to notice the smear of rust red blood on Seokjin’s chin. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

 

Granted, you were clumsy by nature. But never before had you been so uncoordinated that you tripped and broke a whole entire tea set. It was no doubt an expensive one at that, too.

 

“Lady Mo,” you rushed to say, getting to you your knees and keeping your head bowed downwards. Already, you were beginning to think of the various assortment of punishments that she would assign to you. Would it be to polish every tea cup in the whole kitchen? Or perhaps you would be washing dishes for weeks. Maybe she would put you in charge of the fires, then, just to play around with you, knowing that you were a Peak Fire and couldn't help but have to stoke the flames the normal way.

 

“I deeply apologize,” you said as sincerely as possible.

 

Lady Mo didn't respond. You could just see it in her face: the look of disdain, those wrinkled lips that were not folded from old age, but from pursing them so frequently in disappointment. Instead, she directed herself towards Prince Seokjin, who had wiped your blood off with his fingers and had stood up.

 

“I'm terribly sorry, Your Highness,” Lady Mo apologized, bowing downwards in a sign of shame and remorse. “I do hope that nothing happened to you.”

 

“Of course not,” Prince Seokjin responded so smoothly, not a single waver to his voice at all. “I am perfectly well. Rather, I worry for your court girl here.”

 

“You mustn't do such a thing,” Lady Mo waved him off. “Princes have many more responsibilities than mere court girls. You of all people should know this.”

 

Still kneeling on the ground, you didn't dare to speak.

 

“Of course,” Seokjin complied. “I understand completely. However, she is not the one to blame here. I startled her.”

 

Lady Mo raised an eyebrow, looking down at you with a pout that told you that she was not buying it.

 

“Is that so?”

 

“I-I’m sorry,” you said. “I was not as attentive as I usually am.”

 

You knew what Lady Mo would say: When are you ever attentive?, but she seemed to pass it off. Why, you didn’t know. But instead, she just sighed.

 

“Hury, girl. Fetch the prince a new brew and come back to clean this up. Understand?”

 

You nodded quickly. “Yes, Lady Mo.”

 

“Don’t let this happen again.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

The words seemed to snap time back to the present. This was real life. There were things that needed to be done.

 

Lady Mo left, and you were there with Seokjin.

 

Your mind had some sort of switch. Something… something about Prince Suho asking Seokjin to marry him had made that switch flip. That fear…

 

The fear that you couldn’t bear to not have Seokjin in your life.

 

There was a touch to your shoulder.

 

You flinched, eyes no longer glazed over with fear. Instead, it was panic. The panic that made you realize just how reliant you were on Seokjin. How even so much as imagining him not showing up for a day, disappearing from your life, absolutely terrified you to the core.

 

You were much too dependent on Seokjin, and you knew it.

 

“Beautiful?”

 

You couldn’t raise your eyes to look at him. You couldn’t bring yourself to do anything with him.

 

This wasn’t healthy. This wasn’t right.

 

“Princess,” you heard him say. “Lady Mo is gone now. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll get a servant to fix this mess here.”

 

You couldn’t respond. Questions simmered and boiled all through your mind: What were you supposed to do? How could you be so ridiculously dependent on Seokjin to the point of being afraid, and yet still need to have him in your life?

 

There had never before been a fiercer conflict in your mind. In your heart.

 

You let Prince Seokin clean your wounds, still in a dozed-out state. He took you to your room, grabbed for some rubbing alcohol, ointment, and bandages.

 

His touch was feather-soft, every movement made with care. He didn’t speak, didn’t say anything at all, actually. The only thing he focused on were the cuts on your hands, the injuries and the blood.

 

It wasn’t until he had securely wrapped everything up that you could speak.

 

“Seokjin.”

 

The prince frowned. Sitting next to you, he shifted a bit closer. You only ever used his full name when you were serious about something, when you had a heavy topic on your mind.

 

“Yes?”

 

You blinked, gaze towards the door but not seeing anything but Prince Suho. The rest of the Royal Court was no doubt wondering where the two of you were. Maybe Lady Mo had gone to explain the situation. Maybe she hadn’t.

 

“Do you…” Your voice was small.

 

“Do you think we rely on each other too much?”

 

It took a minute for Seokjin to respond.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

You fiddled with the skirts of your dress. All of a sudden you sounded ridiculous, like some sort of lovesick puppy. Too attached. Perhaps it was only right for Prince Suho to take Seokjin away from you, to deny you of him. After all, court girls and princes were not supposed to be with each other anyway.

 

While you were off in your mind, Seokjin was slowly putting the pieces together. He wasn’t smart for nothing, after all. He knew that the marriage proposal had freaked you out, and he knew that there was something else… Something different that was on your mind.

 

“Whatever it is that you’re worrying about,” Seokjin said softly, “don’t.”

 

“How can I not?” you whispered. You had your head in your hands, shaking it side to side. You were too dependent on Seokjin. What was this feeling? That need. The feeling of hating to need him so much, but the minute that he pulled away, it was as if you couldn’t even breathe right.

 

Seokjin took your hands in his. He looked down at you, face glowing with an unreal sort of beauty.

 

When he spoke, his voice was sure. Firm.

 

“Because however much you think you need me, I need you that much more.”

 

//

 

A/N: Please bear with me with this strange formatting. I'm trying to get this fixed as soon as I can! If you have any comments or anything, please leave them down below. They mean the world to me, seriously. <3

*UPDATE: I SORTA KINDA FIXED IT

 

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vanini
SDS will be on hold until I can finish up some admin work on tumblr! I'm sorry guys; hopefully it'll be back up and running again soon~ Thank you for the love!!

Comments

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jungaya
#1
Chapter 8: Good thing suho are not angry. Two already too beautiful ><

What you feel, isnt it love my dear?
Scarletred3 #2
Chapter 8: I can just imagine myself breaking all those tea cups holy-
Aw they're so cute and fluffy in this timeline
jungaya
#3
Chapter 7: Its more and more interesting! I would read it all night if its a full book and suddenly its sunrise hahahhaa

I really curious on what happened between two time. Did the she in past and she in current time are different? Or its a same person? We assumed its a same person but what if it isn't?

>< the possibilities!
Scarletred3 #4
Chapter 7: OKAY IM REALLY INVESTED IN WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH EVERYTHING IN THE FUTURE :DDDDDDDDDD
jungaya
#5
Chapter 6: Once agaaaaain ><
I bombard you with questions. So there's different kingdoms, fire, air, earth, water? Each Kingdom were ruled by a king? Or emperor himself? Or I get it all wrong? There's only one kingdom lead by an emperor and each royalties, such as fire had one king/queen? Or emperor's lover were called kings and queens? Considering the only taboo is cross-kind marriage and that didn't apply to royalties they basically allowed to marry whatever they want

Did the 7 boys were royalties in the past? I remembered Yoongi wear his family emblem and so does Jin, hinting that they're indeed the past royalties. Something must happened. I'm stating the obvious. Lol

I'm such a slow reader forgive me T.T

On a lighter note ><
I thought Suho would choose sweet looking wendy but feisty looking queen for him, I can totally imagine.
Coughwendyoongicough
I think I get too excited and leave you long comment T.T sorry
totalfangirl
#6
Chapter 6: It seemed a little slow at first because I wanted to know what happened and if they know each other but your doing and exceptional job of keeping her background interesting as well so don't worry
clovern
#7
Chapter 6: Ahh Suho what but Seokjin's taken loll D; I feel like it isn't too slow, especially because you're setting up a new world? Nothing about it is like.. boring to me, although I sometimes get curious about what's happening in the past/present when a different chapter comes out. That's all I have to say about it though!! Good job so far, I love this story so much!! <33
-nother #8
Chapter 6: hI IT'S ME THE YELLER AGAIN-I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AND HONEATLY I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PRINCE SUHO JUST SAID I AM- I LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH- KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK OML❤
Scarletred3 #9
Chapter 6: tHAT ENDING KMN-
I'm v happy RV and Exonmembers are making an appearance ;-))
I feel like maybe it is just a little slow? It's not boring but I am just very eager to know more about the present- as well as learn about the past (does that make sense?)
It's like each part of the story is frozen when the next chapter comes out because of the time switch, ya know?
jungaya
#10
Chapter 5: I have question
If say, two water kind married. And they have a child. How they decided if the child is born under the right, same water kind? I'm under impression someone's power is decided on the zodiac they're born?
If I'm a capricorn borne, dont that mean I'm a Earth kind? If I born from two Air kind, but born under Capricorn zodiac, what kind of kind I'll be?