The ticking of the clock felt like death bells that only reminded Mingyu of his impending death that night. He was standing by the front door, looking at the clock. He was oddly well-groomed that night. He wore his best home clothes, his hair was neatly parted and he brushed his teeth a couple of times. Mingyu looked to the side to see his reflection in the mirror, he checked his teeth and even brought up his hand to smell his own breath.

He was nervous, no doubt about that but at the same time he had the urge to prep himself up to look more appealing that night more than most days. Mingyu came in to the conclusion that if he was interrogated, might as well be presentable in front of the Mayor's son. The home he was living in was a safe space for him to be nonchalant and to be carefree about his own emotions and for someone to come in and question him about his emotion driven actions, he was certainly anxious. 

Mingyu spent the whole day making up excuses inside his head, talking to himself in front of the mirror, trying to calm himself down. Now the ticking of the clock felt like it was in sync with his own heart beat. He took a deep breath as he paced back and forth. It was his first time being on edge, somehow the get-together was different. Chan would always invite himself into his house whenever they were free (with the proper documents fom the town hall, of course), but something  felt foreign to him.

He had to remind himself that Jihoon wasn't there for leisure, he was there to interrogate him. Mingyu slapped himself on the head as he hated how he acted so carelessly. 

The familiar sound of the artificial intelligence sounded, "Lee Jihoon has arrived."

Mingyu's ears perked up as he looked at the door. He cleared his throat as he hovered his hands over his face to help him stay stoic. He opened the door and said, "Good even--"

"Your room. Now." Jihoon ignored the formalities. Why should he be formal to the person who was like a stalker to him? Jihoon doesn't know much about emotions, but he knows that Mingyu was different and it bothered him. He was bothered by how human Mingyu was, how careless he was with his actions and the worst part was he was there to witness Mingyu letting his guard down.

Jihoon made his way upstairs. Mingyu followed, he could see the vast difference between them already. Jihoon walked with a straight back, he held his chin up high with pride and he was unapologetic for his actions and why would he? Jihoon was medicated, he couldn't feel guilt if he wanted to. Mingyu opened the door for the both of them, this time, Jihoon sat on the bed while Mingyu sat on the chair.

Once again, the situation was all too familiar. Mingyu sat with his knees glued together and his head lowered. The silence was defeaning, Mingyu could feel Jihoon's eyes boring a hole into his head. He could tell that Jihoon was merely there to get answers.

"Are you going to give me an answer or not?" Jihoon asked.

But Mingyu didn't know what to say or answer, he simply sat there, awkwardly.

"Why do you keep on staring at me?" Jihoon followed, "Are you even on your pills? Deviant behavior will not be overlooked by the government. You of all people should know that." 

Mingyu knew that. He knew that if he was caught, he would only drag his own father down into his mess. He wanted to avoid that but being in such a tight situation with no ways of escaping, he had to answer Jihoon sooner or later. Mingyu heaved a heavy breath, he took his time as his brown eyes looked at Jihoon.

"I am on my pills." Mingyu said in response.

"And your answer?" Jihoon didn't let him off with just that.

"I don't know." Mingyu shrugged.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Jihoon was baffled to say the least. It was his first time feeling something so foreign. He wasn't sure what the feeling was in particular but he was taken aback by Mingyu's response. Jihoon felt a ball tightening inside his chest as his brows furrowed together. "There is no such thing  as not knowing inside the globe."

Mingyu felt a bit dizzy. He guessed the blunt conversation was too much for him, he was accustomed to the peaceful living that his body couldn't take in Jihoon's raised voice.

Jihoon realized he was acting strangely. He raised his voice which henever done before. He didn't know what was happening but he felt a sense of rush inside of him, he felt nervous. His ears started to ring, his hands started to sweat, it was the first time he was ever put into a situation like that.

"I don't know.... why.. why I'm like this." Jihoon looked frazzled, his voice started to waver. Mingyu could see Jihoon's lost eyes, Mingyu understood that it was the first time Jihoon ever felt so strongly about something. "I.. I raised my voice.... " Jihoon couldn't believe what he just did, they were taught that raising their voices at an individual was a sign of deviance. 

Jihoon felt dizzy, he felt his insides whirling, he was slowly sinking into his own voice, but he remembered something. He quickly reached for his medicine inside his pocket, but Mingyu's warm hand caught him in time. Mingyu's hand held Jihoon's wrist, the sweat that's been forming on Jihoon's forehead slowly rolled down his face as he felt a reversal of power between them.

"You're frustrated." Mingyu said in whisper, as he looked into Jihoon's eyes he knew he had to further explain everything to him and there was no going back now. Quick on his feet, Mingyu locked his bedroom door and walked across his room to look through the blinds. He closed it quietly, ignoring Jihoon's calls for his name as he took the small man's wrist and dragged him al the way to the very end of the bed. 

Mingyu immediately sat beside him, battling his thoughts as he said, "I said... you're frustrated."

"Frustrated?" Jihoon repeated, he couldn't comprehend what the person beside him was saying. How can he be frustrated? Only people who doesn't take their pills become so emotional.

Mingyu immediately covered Jihoon's mouth, their faces easing in to each other as Jihoon's eyes slowly widened with disbelief. Jihoon quickly took hold of his medicine container once more, he was determined to drink his pills when Mingyu's other hand stopped him. 

"You're frustrated because you are annoyed by me." Mingyu's voice changed, it was husky and dark and Jihoon could feel the chill run down his spine, "You are annoyed by the glances I've given you. You might ask yourself, Why is that kid looking at me? Why isn't he giving me an answer? Why is he still looking at me? That pent up ball of tightness in your chest, it's called frustration."

The feeling of Jihoons soft lips against his palm made Mingyu's heart tingle a bit. He felt himself get nervous once again and slowly, his aggressiveness slowly deteriorating. How can a person stir his emotions like this, he thought. 

Jihoon quickly removed Mingyu's hand from his mouth as he replied, "I've read about it in the archives." Jihoon breathed deeply as he added, "It causes fights, that's why we should take our medication when we feel something is off with our system. But more importantly... why do you sound like you know the feeling of frustration?"

He looked at the tall man cautiously, his familiar eyes that would look away, lips that were chapped, his eyes trailed to the hand that barely let go of his wrist. Kim Mingyu was strange.

"Because I do." Mingyu quietly admitted.

"Aren't..." Jihoon thought he had to choose his words wisely, he resumed what he was going to say, "Aren't you taking your pills?"

Mingyu kept quiet, his hands slowly tearing away from Jihoon as he followed, "I told you already, I am."

"Then...." Jihoon looked at Mingyu like he was some kind of extra terrestrial being. "Then why are you able to feel so strongly?"Without thinking about it, his curiosity got the better off him. He slowly leaned in, looking at Mingyu so intently, his eyes were searching for answers as he observed the tall boy's actions. Mingyu slowly met with Jihoon's searching eyes as he responded quietly, "Because the pills don't work on me."

Jihoon warily moved away, as he asked, "How can it not work on you?"

The atmosphere changed, it felt heavier than before. Jihoon didn't like not knowing things, he looked at Mingyu intently and carefully, examining his small movements. It was quiet, too quiet for Jihoon's liking. He was still waiting for an answer but he could tell Mingyu was hesitating. Jihoon wasn't surprised at this point, even if he points that the people inside the city shouldn't hesitate, Mingyu was already strangely out of place.

"I don't know." Mingyu's simple reply reached Jihoon's ears easily. The smaller man didn't oppose the answer, he felt Mingyu's sencerity this time.

"For how long have you been like this?" Jihoon's voice cracked, he slowly let go of his meds.

"Since I was a child.... I noticed I wasn't like other kids." Mingyu ran his fingers through his hair. "I thought I should just take an extra dosage but that didn't work either.... slowly I started to learn how to feel and know so many emotions." Mingyu couldn't believe he was telling his own secret, his personal thoughts he's been keeping inside of his mind for a long time to a person he barely knows.

"My father..." Mingyu trailed off, "My father brought books from outside of the globe whenever he had work there....He would always give them to me for me to read and the more I read these books the more feelings and emotions bloom inside of me. I may not have felt every emotion out there but I know what they are.."

"That's against.."

"It's against the rules, I know." Mingyu finsihed Jihoon's statement, "All of my life, my father and I lived peacefully, I beg of you... please don't tell anyone."

Jihoon felt hesitant, he looked at the medicine container resting on the bed, he was beginning to feel more strongly than usual. He wanted to tame the overwhelming feeling of emotions slowly leaking inside of him. The way Mingyu looked at him, it felt like the wall that kept his emotions at bay would crack. He knew he had to drink the pills sooner or later, he was scared of the unknown, Jihoon was scared to feel more.

Jihoon was about to reach for his medicine again but once more, he was stopped by Mingyu's hand.

"Let go." Jihoon gritted his teeth.

"If... If you want to understand, you have to stop taking your pills." Mingyu reasoned.

"Are you mad?" Jihoon was baffled, "I may have skipped my pills once or twice but that doesn't mean I should completely stop taking them! What makes you think I want to understand you?"

"Because I know you'll have more questions and I know you'll get frustrated if you leave them unanswered." Mingyu said in a firm manner. He didn't know what took over him, he was still a nervous wreck but he had hope that Jihoon would be a little bit understanding if he tried hard enough.

Jihoon couldn't form a decent response, he knew Mingyu was right. It took him a few seconds to process everything, he took everything in to consideration, he wanted to make sure that he wasn't coming into Mingyu's mess without assurance. He felt his heart beat quicken a bit, he felt his cheeks tingling as Mingyu's eyes continued to look at him. Jihoon knew he was risking himself, but he never backed out of something before. He slowly bit his lower lip, before he reached into his own conclusion.

"I won't tell anyone." Jihoon said. He could see the tall man's relief from his words, "But." He emphasized. "You have to let me read the books your father brought you."

Mingyu was just relieved by Jihoon's cooperation. It wasn't a big deal, after all, books are a source of knowledge. Knowledge that is prohibited inside the globe but Mingyu thought lightly of it. It will be there own little secret, he thought. Mingyu had a silly smile on his face, something he was not used to showing others, but since Jihoon knew about his secret, then maybe it was okay.

"You look stupid." Jihoon commented, he already knew the effects of the pills he drank a week ago were dissolving. 

"Sorry." Mingyu said in response, his smile still there.

"I see..." Jihoon hummed to himself.

"Huh?" Mingyu raised his brows together.

"So the feeling.. of wanting to physically pull your hair out and inflict pain on your body.... because I feel bothered by you.." Jihoon had a little bit of trouble describing his thoughts, "Is this what you call being annoyed?"

Mingyu gulped, Jihoon was catching on really well, he thought. "Yes."

"I see." Jihoon nodded as he finally understood the foreign feeling. He looked at Mingyu and quickly he pulled Mingyu's hair.

"Ow!" Mingyu cried in pain. "You don't neccessarily have to act out what you feel like doing!" 

"Is that so?" Jihoon asked innocently, "But I felt accomplished doing that."

Mingyu nursed his head of the lingering pain, "Ow--... that means you're satisfied... you're satisfied because you did something you wanted to do..."

"I know what satisfied means." Jihoon responded, "It's just that, it's my first time..." Seeing Mingyu wince in pain was all new to him. He was used to other kids brush off the paper cut they had or when they scrape their knee. He found it interesting and entertaining. 

"When you were staring at me.." Something inside Jihoon wanted to know the answer as he asked, "Did you feel satisfied?"

Mingyu was taken aback by Jihoon's question and he wasn't sure what to answer. He felt his chest tighten but slowly loosen, he played with his fingers and timidly said, "I was not satisfied."

"Huh?" Jihoon was confused, "Then what did you feel?"

"I..." Mingyu was usually bad with words, but the moment their gazes locked into each other, he immediately said, "I felt happy."

AN: now Jihoon knows the truth :O and omfg Mingyu lowkey telling his feelings even tho he doesnt realize it yet that he's in love with Jihoon lol. You're all amazing! I appreciate every single one of you <3 please leave a nice review.comment if youre up for it! i love reading your thoughts on the story :D Take care always and have a great day~