The next few days with Jessica was pure torture for Taeyeon. She had to keep a straight face and appear nonchalant even though she knew Jessica was in pain, and that their time together was running out.

She wanted to hold her but she can’t, so she just held on to the little things that could keep Jessica close to her.

Taeyeon started to ask simple questions, she brought her food, she told lame stories, and she started to open herself up. She held Jessica’s hand, she held her softly, and she held her to sleep. She tried to hold on to the things that would scream Jessica. She tried to memorize how Jessica felt in her hands, how her voice sounded like music, and how her smile brought her home. She tried to remember how Jessica felt, and how everything felt.

It was 4AM and Taeyeon’s mind wasn’t in anyway sleeping. She just lied there, with Jessica wrapped around her. Jessica’s skin felt so soft against her, her steady breathing felt so soothing.

Jessica feels so much alive in her arms.

And somehow she feels so much alive too.