The door of Jessica’s apartment was ajar, and Taeyeon entered, albeit bewildered.

“Jessica?” she called out, but the apartment seemed to be empty.

She looked around and felt relieved when everything seemed to be in place without any signs that Jessica’s place was robbed.

Maybe she was in a hurry, she reasoned to herself.

Taeyeon headed to the living room and sat on the couch as she took out her phone. She was about to dial Jessica’s number when a pile of papers scattered on the table and on the floor caught her eye. She picked up some and what she saw made her regret that she even touched those.

Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.

Her whole being seemed to freeze. She felt numb. She felt the searing pain. Then she felt numb again.

She didn’t understand anything written on those papers and films filled with scientific jargons, but what she understood was there was something inside Jessica that’s going to take her away from her, from this world.

And because of that, Jessica had to leave the country next month, on Christmas Eve, perhaps to fight that monster inside of her, or maybe just to buy her more time.

Oh God please give her more time, she thought whilst anger started to build up inside her, I was looking forward to spending Christmas with her.

She threw the papers hastily on the floor and clenched her trembling fists.

Taeyeon despised herself for not asking anything, for going with the flow of what Jessica wanted. She should have stood up for what she wanted to, because she deserves better. And so does Jessica.

Jessica doesn’t deserve this monster that’s eating up the life in her. She deserves so much life. She deserves to be happy.

Now, Taeyeon understood why Jessica was so reserved, why Jessica was not so keen about attachments. Jessica had to save herself and other people from further misery. But she didn’t understand why Jessica? Of all the people, why her?

All her life Taeyeon never wanted anything so much. And now that she was quite certain that she wants Jessica, life decided to it up.

She screamed and threw her fist against the wooden table in front of her. She wanted to hurt herself. She wanted to rip her heart out of her chest to stop it from hurting so much.

Taeyeon wanted to be angry at the world. She wanted to be angry at herself for being so miserable, for being so unlucky. She wanted someone to blame.

But more than anything else, she wanted to save Jessica but she didn’t know how. And that angered her.

For ’s sake she just wants more time with her.

And from now on, she would stop holding back.