It’s two in the morning and Taeyeon’s still lying awake and staring at the blank ceiling above her. After the conversation with Jessica just hours ago, she tries to sleep off her thoughts but they hammer themselves into her mind one by one. She relays the words exchanged and scoffs at how reckless the fashion designer is to leave her home and seek refuge at the dorms.

“Tyler cheated on me for another woman.”

Taeyeon’s stunned and falls open at how direct Jessica is in telling her about her personal life. When she regains her composure, she latches onto one of her thoughts and decides to speak.

“What’s that got to do with you staying here? You said you wouldn’t come back,” Taeyeon says, frowning when she doesn’t understand the correlation of Jessica’s personal life with her staying at the dorms.

“I know. But this is the only place where I feel safe and that’s because no one will suspect me of returning here. Also, all of you are here,” Jessica says.

The leader notes how the younger woman wants to add more to her speech but ends up stopping herself from divulging more of her thoughts. In fact, Taeyeon thinks there’s something unusual with the way Jessica’s phrased her last sentence; as if there’s more to it than what she’s just said.

“Okay then, so you’re staying here to avoid your family and your boyfriend,” Taeyeon clarifies, eyebrows scrunched together when she detects a slight flinch from the woman at the mention of her ‘boyfriend’.

She shrugs the strange behaviour off.

“What about your schedules? Blanc and Eclare? Aren’t you being a bit reckless in hiding yourself?”

“I’m taking an unannounced hiatus from my promotional activities. As for Blanc and Eclare, I have someone managing my duties in my absence but I’ll still be designing here in my room,” Jessica says, gesturing towards the stack of paper on the table followed by some paper balls lying around on the floor and some located inside the rubbish bin beside the desk. Taeyeon notices a particular sheet of lined paper containing words sticking out of the pile but before she can question the other woman about it, Jessica tells her to get some sleep and that they can continue their conversation another time.

Taeyeon’s just about to close the door when her name is called and she turns back to face the woman in her bedroom.

“You won’t tell anyone about this right? Not even the girls,” Jessica pleads, hands nervously clutching the ends of her shirt.

“I promise,” Taeyeon swears, giving the woman a nod and closing the door behind her.

Jessica’s words pass through Taeyeon’s mind and the only thing that she can process is cheating, cheating, cheating.

She’s been in a slightly similar position before but she doesn’t understand why she feels sympathetic for the other woman.

Taeyeon wakes up in a cold sweat and her hands immediately fumble for her glasses on the bedside table. When she puts them on, the digits on the clock glare back at her and she can clearly see the numbers three-one-zero. She switches on the lamp to dimly illuminate the room and wipes her brow with a tissue; her free hand bunched into her shirt around her chest as she tries to regulate her breathing back to a steady rate.

She reaches for something to drink when she realises that she’s forgotten to take a water bottle into her room. Sighing, she stands up from her bed and makes her way to the kitchen.

Turning the corner, she jumps when she recognises a figure sitting on one of the plastic stools near the counter.

“Fany?” Taeyeon asks, face settling into a gentle smile when the woman turns around and the corners of her lips turn upwards upon registering the leader standing at the entrance to the kitchen.

“What are you doing awake at this time?”

“My sister called so I was on the phone with her a few minutes ago. What about you? Can’t sleep?” Tiffany says, reaching over to pour the leader a glass of water.

Taeyeon gladly accepts the cup and drains it whole before pouring herself another glass.

“I had a bad dream,” She says.

“A bad dream or a nightmare?”

Taeyeon hesitates to answer but when she thinks back to her dream, her response becomes more clear in her mind.

“It was a bad dream,” She says.

Tiffany seems to understand the dream Taeyeon’s referring to because she sighs and places the phone in her hands on the table before swivelling in her chair to face the leader.

“Taetae, you know –”

“I know you told me not to think about it anymore but I can’t when she’s here and reminding me about it all the time. The dream itself intensified and it just feels so ing real,” Taeyeon interrupts, dropping her head into her crossed arms. A hand rubs her back in a reassuring manner and Tiffany brushes away a loose strand of hair and tucks it behind the leader’s ear.

“Do you have any intention of telling her?” Tiffany asks softly.

Taeyeon’s head springs up immediately and she shoots the younger woman a panicked look.

“No. She can’t know about this,” Taeyeon says firmly.

“I’m fine,” She reassures when Tiffany’s about to open to question her. She shoos the woman off to bed and drinks one more glass of water before depositing the glass into the sink. She wipes her hands clean with the cloth and closes her eyes.

“I’ll be fine,” Taeyeon mumbles under her breath.

She’s not even sure if she’s convinced herself with the lie.

A few hours later, Taeyeon’s woken up by a woman snuggling into her neck and tickling her sides. She recognises the intruder when a silly giggle enters her ears.

“Im Troublemaker,” She groans, desperately fighting away the fingers that have now resorted to poking her body.

“Unnie,” Yoona annoyingly says in that cute whiny voice of hers. Taeyeon starts to agree with Tiffany; that annoying voice shouldn’t be used in the morning when she’s just awake. It makes her want to hit the younger member’s face with her pillow and pull the blankets over her body so that she won’t be disrupted from sleeping.

“What?”

“Unnie, I really really really want to eat,” Yoona says, tugging the blanket off the leader’s body.

Taeyeon groans when the cold morning air hits her and she shrivels up into a foetus position.

“Then go into the kitchen and make something to eat. But since you’re banned from making food, why don’t you bother Hyo or Yul instead of your dear leader?” Taeyeon says, turning over and squashing the side of her face into her pillow.

“But my dear Kim Troublemaker, I really really really want to eat your kimchi fried rice. And besides, Hyo and Yuri wouldn’t even make me any food; they’d just tell me to wait until everyone else is awake.”

Taeyeon groans and removes her arms from around her legs to cover her ears from Yoona’s constant whinging. When she thinks the woman has stopped, she slowly places her arms down only to hear another annoying “Unnie” enter her ear. Sighing in defeat, she drags herself off into the kitchen in her half-awake state and just manages to not walk into Seohyun as she turns around the corner.

“Omo!” Seohyun gasps, covering in front of her when she registers Taeyeon’s half-lidded eyes and a yawn escaping .

“Morning Seo,” Taeyeon mumbles, raising a hand and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Unnie, you sound very tired. We don’t have a busy schedule today so you should go back to sleep.”

“Well, some annoying idiot decided to wake me up at – what time is it – and wants me to make her kimchi fried rice because she’s hungry and can’t make it herself,” Taeyeon says, turning around and shooting Yoona a glare. The taller woman just shoots her a sheepish grin and shrugs her shoulders.

“It’s six Unnie,” Seohyun says, glaring at Yoona who shrinks behind Taeyeon’s form.

“It’s bloody six in the morning and you wake me up because you’re hungry?” Taeyeon says, removing the arms wrapped around her waist.

“Unnie, please don’t be mad at me,” Yoona pouts, looking at the youngest member to come to her defense.

Seohyun just shrugs and makes her way back to her bedroom.

“Hyunnie, you’re meant to be on my side!” Yoona says, her bottom lip protruding when the woman disappears from sight. Seeing that there’s no one else to back her up, Yoona conjures her best pout to the older woman and internally sighs in relief when Taeyeon mutters something along the lines of ‘you’re lucky I love you’ and stalks her way into the kitchen to prepare the meal.

“I love you too,” Yoona replies, not missing the slight upturn of the corners of Taeyeon’s lips as she takes out the egg carton, spring onions and kimchi from the refrigerator.

Taeyeon just shakes her head at the woman.

Taeyeon will never understand how a person like Yoona manages to eat large quantities of food and still maintain a thin figure. She watches in amazement as the younger woman shoves down the entire plate of rice down in a span of ten minutes, only to place the ceramic plate down on the counter and demand for more food. When Taeyeon informs her that they’ve run out of eggs and spring onions to make the dish, Yoona sulks and stands up from her seat to deposit the dish into the sink.

“Sorry Yoongie,” Taeyeon says gently, rubbing the woman’s back in consolation.

Yoona turns to face her with a bright grin.

“It’s okay Unnie, I really enjoyed the meal,” She reassures, flashing the leader an impish grin and poking her stomach. Taeyeon flinches and tries to swat the fingers away but Yoona somehow manages to trap her between her body and the sink.

“Yoongie!”

“Unnie, let’s talk.”

“Aren’t we doing that already?”

“But we haven’t had a serious conversation in ages!”

“That’s because you keep poking me!” Taeyeon says, her point being proven when Yoona lands one more poke to her side and then releases her hold on her.

“Unnie, are you and Sica-Unnie currently on good terms?” Yoona asks. The older woman is definitely surprised by the child-like innocence in the younger woman’s eyes, as if Yoona has only just discovered that there’s some tension between her and Jessica and she’s seeking clarification on the issue.

“Why do you ask?”

“I saw Sica-Unnie asking to talk to you yesterday so I was wondering if you guys are at least comfortable in each other’s presence.”

“We’re fine I suppose. I mean, doesn’t speaking to each other indicate that we’re fine?” Taeyeon sighs, moving around the younger woman and making her way to sit on a stool. Yoona remains on the other side of the counter and leans forward with her arms crossed in front of her chest and her eyebrows raised.

“Unnie, speaking doesn’t necessarily equate to being on good terms. Don’t you remember that time when you and Hyoyeon-Unnie had a disagreement during a ‘Gee’ pre-recording because she looked great in a particular shot but you had trouble with your ear piece?” Yoona says, smirking on the inside when the look of defeat on Taeyeon’s face at the realisation of her ironic statement indicates her victory.

“Fine, that’s true. But Jessica and I really are fine. We’re on speaking terms at least,” The leader offers, pouring the both of them a glass of water.

Yoona gladly accepts the cup but places it on the table after she’s done.

Taeyeon then remembers a particular sentence Sunny told her the day before and she decides to test whether her words ring true or not, careful not to give away Jessica’s secret.

“Yoongie, since you’re close to Jessica do you perhaps know why she’s here?”

The look of confusion on Yoona’s face only validates her suspicions.

“No, Sica-Unnie hasn’t told me anything. I don’t think she’s told any of us the reason why she’s here,” The woman says, scratching her head as she tries to remember if the ex-member has mentioned anything about why she’s back at the dorms.

“It’s okay Yoongie, I was just asking,” She says, slightly grateful that the rest of the members don’t know what’s actually going on. She definitely doesn’t want to imagine their reactions; she’s sure Tiffany and Sooyoung would rage and threaten to burn the building.

It only makes her heart sink when she realises she’s the one who’s burdened with the secret.

A few days later, their schedules become more packed and Taeyeon barely has enough time to herself when she’s whisked off into another schedule or a fansigning event for one of her endorsements. When she finally gets a minimum of thirty minutes to rest, she does so by slumping down onto one of the chairs in the dressing room and thumbing through her phone. She’s about to raise the device to take a photo and upload it on Instagram when a voice interrupts her.

“Tae,” Sooyoung says, grinning when the leader hums in response and lowers her arm.

“Is it okay if you’re at the dorms with Sica tonight? We’ve got some schedules to attend and Yuri and Fany have a flight to catch for filming,” She continues, scrutinising the older woman’s reaction in case she protests against the thought.

“How long will you be gone for?”

“Ummm…” The younger woman trails off, discreetly nudging Seohyun. The youngest member glances up from the novel in her hands and answers the question.

“Excluding Yuri-Unnie and Fany-Unnie, we should all be back by two am.”

The silence Taeyeon gives the two members makes them worry but then she releases a sigh and turns back to her phone.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Sooyoung says, just to be sure that her ears aren’t failing her.

“Okay.”

Taeyeon almost yells in ecstasy when her manager informs her that due to some technical difficulties, they won’t be able to continue recording songs for her full album for the time being. He says it in such a regrettable manner that Taeyeon struggles to maintain the solemn and downcast expression on her face. The second that he’s no longer in sight and she’s alone she fist-pumps the air and grins so widely that SHINee’s Jonghyun stops by on the way to dance practice and asks her what she’s excited about.

He later gives her the thumbs up when she animatedly tells him that her schedule has been cleared.

Seeing that she’s free for the rest of the day, she makes her way to the van so that she can be driven back to the dorms. When the vehicle approaches a red traffic light, Taeyeon receives a message from Tiffany.

Fany 😍 (12:47 pm): Did Soo tell you that you and Jessi will be the only ones at the dorm tonight?

Taetae (12:47 pm): Yes. Have you and Yul reached the airport yet? Have fun!

Fany 😍 (12:47 pm): We’re on the way to the airport. Don’t cause trouble Kim; I know how much of an influence that Im Yoona has on you.

Taetae (12:48 pm): Oh please, I’m only a troublemaker when Yoongie and I are together.

Fany 😍 (12:48 pm): Sure you are. Have fun Taetae!

Fany 😍 (12:55 pm): Oh, I forgot to tell you but I told Jessi that it’s just the two of you at the dorms tonight. The ladies bought us groceries and have placed it in the fridge; don’t burn down the kitchen.

Taetae (12:56 pm): Says the one who can’t cook.

Fany 😍 (12:56 pm): Oh shut up Tae.

Fany 😍 (12:56 pm): Remember to eat lunch!

Taetae (1:00 pm): Will do. Have a safe flight!

After making a quick lunch, Taeyeon places the plates down on the counter and sighs. She hasn’t really had much time for herself for the past few days so the feeling of being free for the time being is foreign to her.

She’s about to dig into her lunch when she faintly remembers the only other person in the dorm. Sighing and shaking her head, she shuffles over to the bedroom and knocks on the door.

The surprised look on Jessica’s face when she opens the door on the other side tells her that she didn’t expect the older woman to look for her.

“Ummm...is there anything you need Taeyeon?” She shyly says, rubbing the back of her neck out of awkwardness.

Taeyeon feels herself flush red and she averts her gaze to the floor.

“I er, made some food so if you haven’t had any lunch yet then you should eat,” She says, turning around and walking back to the kitchen.

She almost sighs in relief when she hears footsteps padding into the kitchen followed by a chair scraping against the floor and a body plopping itself onto the seat opposite her.

Taeyeon begins to shade the sky on her drawing pad when a knock on the door followed by a quiet “Taeyeon?” enters her ears. She glances up from the paper and is greeted with the sight of Jessica standing by her bedroom door and scratching her head in a nervous manner.

“Can we talk?”

“Sure,” She says, placing the drawing pad and colouring pencils into the first drawer of her desk. She gestures to the woman to sit on her bed, who sinks down onto the edge of the mattress and rubs her arms up and down out of nervousness. Jessica scans her surroundings and she relaxes when she realises that Taeyeon’s room hasn’t changed at all; she still has the large peas beside her wardrobe and one small plush doll on her bed beside her pillows.

Noticing that the woman isn’t going to initiate the conversation despite being the one to seek her, again, Taeyeon clears and Jessica immediately diverts her gaze back to her.

“I’m sorry; I was carried away by your room,” Jessica reveals honestly, face turning red from embarrassment at being caught.

“It’s okay,” Taeyeon says, a bit flustered by how blunt the woman is. They revert back to silence until Jessica raises her head and stares into the older woman’s eyes.

“I forgot to ask you the other day but have you met Soojung in the past few days?”

“Soojung?” Taeyeon says, completely surprised by the sudden question.

Jessica nods.

Just before Taeyeon can open to reply, the doorbell resonates throughout the dorm. She’s a bit startled; she doesn’t recall anyone telling her, by direct conversation, phone call or text message, that they would pay the dorm a visit. In fact, she recalls Sooyoung, Seohyun and Tiffany telling her that she and Jessica will be the only ones at the dorm tonight. She takes a look at Jessica but when the woman’s bewildered face reflects her own, she stumbles off into the living room. The ex-member follows after her.

She shuffles her way over to the intercom and a hand immediately flies to when she recognises the brunette standing in the camera’s view. She turns to face the other woman in the room and whispers two words which make the woman’s face pale.

“Jung Soojung.”

A/N: Edited 27/08/20