Sequel of 'Burning Bridge'

             Vibrant colors flickering everywhere, welcomes him happily . Such intense colors will make you blind at least in first 10secs . Club's strong music amfiliers vibrates till to his core , making him excite almost automatically .

Whole club and wasted people were calling him to join their fun with their sencory atmosphere .
Jinwoo comes to the dance floor almost in instict , joining heightened sense of empathy with those in the crowds . Scent of perfumes mixed with body sweats , alcohol and acrid scent of fake smoke of dance floor makes him wince .
It's been a while last time he joined such ecstacy and unbounded energy . He wanted to feel freedom . Emptying his brain, wanting to escape from his reality . He wants to forgot who he was and who he is becoming .Doesn't wanted to think of any possibilities to be recognized or what will people think of him, not afraiding of their judge and demands . Such brave steps taken from such careful personality . Tonight he is just an ordinary young man who is losing himself in life as how others are losing themselves in the crowd .

His clothes were sticking into his skin like a second skin , hair drenched with a water he just poured down onto himself , shouting to the crowd as if they were his friends . Maybe they were his . Only in these moments all of these unknown people were his part of exist . When he shout they shout , when he dance they dance , when he did his new remix on DJ tubs crowd getting wilder. As if they were under his control and emotion. Such a satisfaction to him . But there was a one thing he won't forget and can not forget . The feeling and drill of standing before thousands of fans and singing to them. Fans who enjoyed his pieces , songs he composed while cutting himself . Not physically , but emotionally . He sacrificed so much for his music , but unfortunately it wasnt enough . He knew nothing can top that times though . He will cherish those memories until he dies, and it will still bring genuine smiles on his face every time he will recall it.

After ending his remix , he plays a bit slow, sensual song for the couples and to the people who is searching someone who can warm their cold sheets and share their short lived passion together . To outsiders club could look full of happy and wild people but there is always someone who is hurt and lonely , searching some escape from their reality and trying to numb their hurt with burning drinks and temporary feelings .

When Taehyun about to step down from DJ boot, something or rather someone catches his eyes . Taehyun thinks 'no way' but still searches through the crowd . Why would he come in this kind of place .
Taehyun couldn't believe in his own two eyes .'' I am must be dreaming ? Right ?''

Kim jinwoo were in the crowd. Although club was overcrowded , jinwoo catches his eyes just in one glance . He was like a highlighted word between thousands of words . His beauty outshines every colorful lights and people, even in such vibrant places . 

There was many strangers around jinwoo . Some of them were groping each other ,already in another planet , while some of them were eyeing his hyung . Checking him out , like he is in some kind of auction . Getting nearer to jinwoo step by step , intentionally bumping into him to get some attention from him . Something rises inside of taehyun .He doesn't know what is going on there but they were doing such a sin for gazing and touching his hyung in that way . He hurriedly steps down from the boot and showes into people who were blocking his path . So ready to twist their necks one by one if someone dared to touch his hyung just wrongly .

He was just so close to them but the crowd were just too tight , making him unable to move forward . He catches the sight of his hyung . Jinwoo were dancing with a gorgeous blond girl with nice voluminous body . His hands on her waist but his eyes were looking into another direction, focused . Taehyun looks into to that direction, to check who jinwoo were eyeing . Maybe seunghoon or mino came together . That must be more rational thing to do and could explain this sudden visit of jinwoo's. But there was that hunky , western looking guy who were smirking at jinwoo . Their stare game somehow felt so wrong to Taehyun. The guy's smirk and pointed gaze was too intimate to be just a concidence . 
Some very ugly words were on his tongue, pushing each other trying to get out from his mouth first . He observes his hyung. Jinwoo doesn't seemed to notice himself giving away a wrong code to a stranger , scratch that , it was more like he didn't minded . His neatly scrupted face emotionless but not empty . There was something in there . Almost observing and waiting for stranger's next move. As if he knows, just what he is playing with . His posture didn't looked uncomfortable or curious either, telling it wasn't his first time getting an interest from a stranger this openly. From a man, from a same gender . Something runs down on Taehyun's back making him feel little sick , he strongly wanted to rip his hyung from that cheap woman and tuck him away to somewhere else , hidden away from sinful eyes. His eyes has that glint Taehyun never saw on him . 
Taehyun froze on his spot , not knowing what to do next . Confusion and disbelief were married on his face. But would he give a chance to a stranger ? No way .Only  over his dead body . He wouldn't let her or him to touch a single hair of jinwoo's .

Jinwoo's heart jumps painfully hard , as if getting caught doing something bad and forbidden when he finds taehyun at his right side, looking at him with cold eyes of his. Without a single word taehyun takes a strong hold on his wrist and drags him to somewhere else. Jinwoo just follows him , head hanging low , without any resistance like a kid about to get scolds.

In distance car horns and people chunts sounds muffled . Far away from club's deafening sounds makes them aware of every movements they are making , their foot steps echoes between dark alleys . They stops under shimmering little light of a backdoor . Taehyun didn't know what to ask first and what to know . Kim jinwoo he knows from outside to inside now looks mystery to him ,tonight he learned there is more about jinwoo that didn't met his eyes even after all this years . He lights a cigarette , taking big intake of smoke 
TH - what are you doing here , alone , hyung ? It is dangerous . You know that .
- yeah , I know . But people rarely recognize me . It is the perks of being unpopular one. jinwoo not once looks at him in the eye 
TH - you are not like that , hyung . What if someone took of your photo . Hanging around places like this .They won't going to like this- 
- I think I am a gay, taehyun . 
The smoke goes into his wrong tunel , making him proceed ugly coughs 
TH  - wha,a,what ? 
- I said ,I think ... I think I am... a gay,
TH  - what ? OK, this must be a prank of his , is someone going to get out from somewhere with a camera and scream at his face 'you are punkd' now ? But who ?everything was still calm and silent only his heart beating getting stronger 
- I didn't wanted this . I swear. I am just can't stop this . 
TH - Ho... How ? How do you know that you are a gay? throat still burning , he let's out chokingly 
- i don't know . it is just started after.. , after you left . i dont know what to do .
TH - What you can't stop ? ....... Who? Who touched you ? Who is touching you ? Was it mino ? Jinwoo hyung tell me . I am going to ing kill him . 
- What ? Mino? , No , he didn't do nothing wrong, it is just , I am just can't.., don't know how to stop those feelings 
TH - you gotta be kidding me , he is playing with you . I know he had girlfriends , he is just using you hyung . 
- No taehyun , you are misunderstanding, it is not like that . 
Taehyun goes restless . Can't stand the thought of someone using jinwoo . His pure hyung can't be someone's kerchief of release . it is insane . why he didn't thought about the possibilitues . He curses jinwoo ' s naive personality . How can someone be this clueless and used by others this easily . He was just a few months away , for s sake and someone already dared to touch him. His heart shook with rage , he could do murder at this state . He grabs at his hair and does circling motion . Who could be ? Mino , seungyoon , seungyoon ? All had possibilities . Mino's heated gazes could be not an act in front of audiences and seunghoon's sneaky moves and little hangouts , seungyoon always had upper hands at jinwoo. 
TH  - Who is it , tell me who did things to you , where he touched . Why you didn't stopped . How can you be this easy . Can't you just tell no for ing once ? How could you ? 
- I , I didn't , ... I am not a child Taehyun . I know what I am doing and feeling
TH  - That is right . You are not a child but you act like one . A naive kid who got fooled with a candy from sick stranger . Taehyun cant stop himself . he knows he is ing up his chance to make him stay by his side. But something venomous thing were surging through his veins . He wanted to hurt jinwoo as much as he was hurting . But why he was hurting again ? Taehyun can't think . Just wanting to feel hurt and hurt him back and crush something on his way, desperately trying to block something growing on him / Jealousy /. 

- I knew you would be like this , you always only think about yourself , and your way of thinking of me is just so cruel . Jinwoo starts to walk ahead , wanting to be somewhere else , anywhere but not there . 
TH  - don't ing act innocent here. Taehyun jerks him back , his eyes empty as ever . Jinwoo doesn't like it when taehyun looks like this, so disconnected . Like he can't reach him out and bring back the days when there was sparks of warmth for him and he questions himself again for millionth time , why him ? 
-Do you think all people can move easy as you ? If you want something, you can get it just in a snup of your finger . I never was like that . I never got something I wanted easy as you . I worked till my body worn out , just then i got half of what I wanted . You never going to understand me . You don't even know what you want , because everything comes to you easy as breathing , you dont know which one is valuable than another , while I cherish every penny, every smile I can get . I don't have a choice but to feel satisfied at less . I didn't even got to chose who to love , how to love
TH  - what ? What do you think you are talking about ? Love ? Are you ing teenager jinwoo ? Just because someone give you an , you think you found your love . Love is nothing like that , you don't know what is love
- then do you ? What she and you have is a love to you . Open fun-ing relationship ? Really ? You think you got her love ? That is not love . Love doesn't work like that , you are just rebelling . You always desire whatever people told you not to do . You just likes out everybody and  really ed us bad 
TH  - shut up shut up shut up . Then your love seems true to you . In just three months you think you found your true love . You are just being played whoever you found . Was he that good ,that -
Strong sound of a slap echoes between the walls in the alley . Jinwoo's hands shakes, stinging painfully . He couldn't believe what he did just now . 
- Taehyun , I - ... Jinwoo knew how much taehyun detast physical fight and get touched harshly . He wonders if his medicine is near , hopes taehyun still got some pills in his pockets for sudden needs . There was a one time he came on his way when taehyun was angry and that didn't ended prettily . It was his fault , he should just go when taehyun told him . They shouldn't blame everything on Taehyun . It was his fault, he tripped and dropped on a mess taehyun created . It was just an accident . Yet they never believed him . They never listens to him . 
TH  - Did you knew I was going to DJing here tonight ? Taehyun didn't moved , head still tilted to the west from the impact of jinwoo's slap . 
- I , I didn't 
Taehyun chuckles almost childish but hollow and empty . His chuckles sends cold chills through jinwoo's back . 
Suddenly jinwoo's vision got dizzy . His head bumps into wall hard , making him hiss from a pain. When he opens his eyes , taehyun were all over him, tangling his limps and blocking his move. In this position jinwoo can't help but to measure his tall height and strong muscles . Taehyun gotten stronger . His body gained weight he lacked back then . He suffered to feed this boy every day . Not once he wanted to tie him to the chair and stuff his empty stomach with sweets and goods . Sweets always did magic for him when he is feeling down , so he wanted to try out the magic on taehyun to see if it is removing the scowl from his face . Now he is intimidated by his force but also liked his strong hold on his body . It is felt like he belonged there , and made for him. At least right at that moments it felt perfect and so natural to be with taehyun this close and intimate . All of his fears and wonders answered there . It was real , his feelings for the maknae is real and not some delusional and confusion he got from overly affection he had for the boy .
TH  - How you choose ? What you feel when a guy touches you ? 
- what are you talking about ? Taehyun, you are scaring me 
TH  - Oh , so our hyung suddenly scared of his dounseung he knows for years but not from a foreign stranger ?
- no , it is not like that taehyun . I just , I didn't 
TH  - what you didn't ? Say you didn't planned to hook up with some stranger tonight ? 
- Noo , please taehyun you are hurting me ? 
TH  - please ? Do you want me to touch you too? 
- huh ? Jinwoo's brain freezes , stops functioning but only hanging onto one sentence . Circling and highlighting it over and over again . will taehyun really ..? 
TH  - I could do it for you, if you asked me . Since I messed up your night , I should repay to you somehow , isn't how gentleman should act?
- huh ? Taehyun's nose touches jinwoo's , all his senses drowns on his racy cologne . Taehyun's cologne is like a passion itself . Racy ,spicy, hot toxifying drilling like taehyun . Suddenly all of their anger and jealousy bursts like a bubble,  instead a heavy tension envelopes them . 
- please taehyun 
TH  - what ? What you want ? Say it ! 
- no ! 
TH  - I feel your heartbeat . it is so strong . is it because of me . are you excited because of me hyung? Or afraid of what I will do to you? Taehyun murmers into his ear deliciously , making jinwoo wonder if it is one of his wildest dreams .
Taehyun grazes jinwoo's cheek with his nose , going further into his neck, nuzzling his velvety skin . the touches tingle and burn jinwoo's skins and flesh. if taehyun thought he was giving him a punishment or humiliation , the result was far from that though. It was torturingly addictive feeling , who wouldn't get excited when you have Nam taehyun all over you . right that moment jinwoo didn't cared about after consequences , he could exchange with many just to have taehyun like this little bit longer .He borns again at this moment , under Taehyun's sultry gaze and heavy body . God knows how much he suffered for this boy . For his well beings , for his decision to leave him high and dry, for discovering his feelings for the maknae , and accept his gender . In within half year he felt like aged another 10 years experience of life . Now he feels like he know exactly what he wanted and what not wanting . Life seems not that unpredictable anymore . he could confront whatever fate threw on his way , he will going to face everything from now on, fearless.

Maybe because his heart was running out of space from unspoken dreams and wishes .Dreams he couldnt get even if he voice it out but needed to swallow it . His heart cant be a trashcan of unreached dreams of his.

Even If he confesses his feelings tonight and put his bare heart on his cold hands and this cold boy drop it to the hard floor , acting as if it burned his skin , making his heart shutter in million pieces, he will going to gather his pieces and stitch it together and bring it in a form . It wouldn't work like yesterdays but it will still work for tomorrows.

Maybe someday he will going take the bandaid and then only scars will left behind . No bleeding and no holes between on his heart . Because unrequited love eats you alive from your insides makes you suffocate , it is better if you get bitten scar than rotting alive . At least you told and he knew.

That is how he will going to live from now on . he liked himself like this . Certain ,collected determined and fearless . He won't afraid of his crazily beating heart for the maknae, ever again . If he is the reason of his heartbeats , so be it . He won't going to beat himself and resist it is force and hide it . 

Taehyun's heartbeat pulses stronger than ever , almost inhumanly . Like it is going to knock out his chest and pop out . He wanted to hide his hyung in his pocket not giving any chance to reach him any sin and sinner . maybe he wouldn't mind to kidnap him .
Why hyung smells this good ? And feel so inchanting . like he is calling out something from under him . he wants to hug his hyung little longer and tighter . not knowing his lips already started to nip his neck . 1st , 2nd and many more after that . his velvety skin and pulsating vein makes him hungry for the feelings he got from it . like a vampire he wouldn't mind bite him down and taste some blood .

jinwoo's breath stops for a minute , he forgot how to breath , his knees goes week . his whole body only depended on Taehyun's force and wall . he doesn't know why taehyun doing this to him, but wishes he never stops doing this to him and do little bit more . maybe taehyun is drunk or high on something , he won't care what is gotten into taehyun , just wants to be touched by him , and taste this addicting feeling little longer . 
TH  - hyung tell me to stop 
- mmm , jinwoo moans . pushing his neck into his lips little harder to shut him up
TH  - you like it ? jinwoo nods his head weakly , encouraging taehyun .
He takes his hands in one hand above his head and drags his other hand through his body , from his cheek to neck to chest sending shiwers to jinwoo , finally settling on his waist . Taehyun's hand grabs his waist and kneedes little forcefully , arching his body into his . their body fits perfectly in Taehyun's chest . taehyun already felt his hyungs hardness , it is making him excite , for having an such effect on his hyung . Never in 100 years he thought he will going to embrace man's body this passionately . Maybe jinwoo hyung is special . He has a beauty of male and female mixed on him , like a ying and yang . Calling everybody near him like a magnet . he wouldn't going to step back from such a drug . taehyun grazes jinwoo's cheek with his lips, finally going further into his lips too painfully slow . their heart drums in one rhythm , taking their calls through chests to chest ,pumping more fast and hard .Taehyun kisses jinwoo's lips corner , experimenting . he always loved to see it is shape , like a cupid's bow . Taehyun's soft thick lips were neglecting his lips , torturing him pleasantly . 
- taehyun please , jinwoo's words comes out chocked and pained 
It didn't sounded like a ban , But more like a beg . Taehyun's insides quiwers at his begging . wanting to grant whatever those pretty lips would say to him to do 

- Taehyun r u there ? 

Their minds comes back to them from their trance like state they had been in .Seeing feeling and listening everything so clear again . in any situation it wasn't a good sign to others if they found them like this . Taehyun awkwardly let go of his hands . when jinwoo brings down his aching hand on his shoulder , taehyun remembers how close they were again . jinwoo could see it from his eyes that taehyun was confused with their situation . jinwoo feels shameful , he felt like he was dragged taehyun into this mess. he gently pushes taehyun away from himself and regains his composure while taehyun still dazed . was taehyun really high , probably . if not he wouldn't do what they just did and would do if lasted little bit longer . jinwoo can't help but to regret at his loss of dreamland . Like a sweet dream he awakened from midway . Their lips both aches from almost .

- I need to go now 
TH  - wait 
- she is waiting for you , I need to go 
TH  - who 
- your girlfriend , jinwoo chuckles nervously . you should cut your drinks taehyun 
TH  - no I , I am not drunk 

- oh there were you , people are waiting for your turn , oh hi jinwoo 
- hi , 
- did you come alone 
- ah yeah 
- you should come into our table , there is many interesting people out there 
- oh uh , I was about to go , sorry maybe next time 
- it is too early to go home , have some fun with us . right Taehyun 
- yeah , hyung stay with us 
- oh OK , just a little bit then 

She sits too close to him, tight to tight shoulders to shoulder , arms snaking around his waist .Every time she kisses his cheeks or try to kiss him on the lips which jinwoo looked sideways or closed his eyes just to hurt little less . was there were a limit to know how much someone was hurting ? Was jinwoo going to hurt more if he saw their kiss or hurted little less because he didn't saw it with his eyes open . as if it lessens the hurt , as if it lessens the pain .

Jinwoo eyerolls and Taehyun's sneeky giggles every time he catch him do it . Those people felt like living in some TV documentary or a phylosophy book he used to sleep in every 10 page he managed to read back in high school. From his trainee days up until now he used to the artistsic people and their view , and what they are getting inspired . but those people's topic was off to another world far from his thin knowledge horizon . jinwoo got only half of the words from their sentence , too much foreign unknown words and peoples name mentioned . why do they even care people they don't even know personally , and act like they really affected their live in their presence . it is like some really crazy people was showing off their book knowledge if not for the other's interested look and equel foreign comments . just in another world . too much difference from his little simple world
Jinwoo sits there , only chagging down his bear without giving a attention whatever they were discussing again . He just wants to go home and hug his cats until sleep comes over . his cats will sit closely where he is hurting and it until he feels healed and loved . When he announced he is going to home everybody feigned disappointing face when they didn't talked with him last an hour . Such a peace people jinwoo thought . Now he knows they weren't special and different from him , they was just wanted to be . 

TH - I will give you a ride . Although jinwoo should decline the offer politely and give honer to the lady , but not now , not from taehyun's . 

- I wanted to know her more 
TH - why ? 
- because she is special to you , I wanted to know what she is made of , and to find what you saw in her that maked you drop everything 
TH - you know it wasn't everything about her 
- but she is, half of them 
TH - maybe was , 
- what do you mean by that 
TH - nothing , I am just tired all of this . I just want to live in my way . doing things on my own . I am still young . I have a right to make mistakes , right hyung ? you should understand me it at least give me a time to figure things and myself out 
TH - sometimes you feel like a character of a book or from a movie. very interesting but superficial character. doing things very shallow but feels too deep . as if living in heaven and hell ,without between 
TH - then, are you live in between ? 
- I thought so, now just everything is hurting me like I am dpopped to the hell
TH - I could help you , hyung . tell me please 
- I can't. I guess we are just so different . you are not gonna understand . you will even may mock me if you know what is going on inside me . who I am loving . you have no idea . jinwoo chuckles sadly
TH - but we are here , still together . despite our difference and positions . You promised me you will be forever my hyung that night , ! I don't know it is means something to you . I rarely connect with people this long . People always come and go from my life and me from theirs . But I want you to stay in my life . Those people I am hanging out now going to be replaced someday if not tomorrow maybe after months or years, one by one . But you should be here ,in my life . Reminding me of my ground and who I need to be and scold me when I it up, showing me direction I need to take , people I shall not disappoint by your presence .
- I wanna be a part of your life too . Because I hate the thought of someday after years , maybe by a conscidence when we meet at convenience store or at coffee shop , I afraid we can't have a conversation more than greetings . Not knowing what to say more than that , hesitates to say more than polite greetings , trying to remember the old times we spent together. And regret it after i got home with my unspoken words and wonders . Time changes everything , i know it taehyun . I went through this more than i can count . When time flies everything we had ,our bond will just lose importance and vanish . We won't feel anything towards each other . I afraid we would fall apart taehyun ,
TH - I promise hyung , we will never fall apart , I won't approve it to happen to us. 
- why me taehyun , why not someone but me ?
TH - i don't know , honestly I have no idea why it is you not seungyoon or mino or seungyoon or anybody . Maybe because it is just you .Kim jinwoo I know. You are the realest person I have ever known . You don't harden yourself to live . Simple, warm ,honest as always unlike others . I wear masks over and over on my face every year passes . Trying to not affect, trying to not hurt, trying to escape from obliges .But you are coolest person I have known . You show and share your happiness ,your love, your pain ,your worry, anger, flaw so openly , not afraiding to be vulnerable and hold onto someone expressing your emotions, being true to your heart . While I am afraid to strip down any of that , afraid I will look mess that can't be undone . 
- but I'll want you taehyun , whatever mess you were , I want you whole and don't care how many times i need to stitch you to make you whole, I would do it for you as long as I have you, mine .

Maybe This moment and those words he just heard was everything taehyun needed in his life. Nothing and no one can replace this scene from his memory .

Jinwoo knew more than anyone that he was flawed in so many ways but still chooses to stay beside him even at his worst . Jinwoo's sincerity makes him overwhelm with foreign feelings , edgy , tingling and warm . Taehyun's heart plays some very strange beats for the man who looks at him like he is everything he needs and won't exchange him with everything on this world .

Late autumn rain and snow falls mixed, drumming on his car roof ever so slowly , city lights hazy under crying windows of his car. Everything felt so fairy and dreamy . How powerful feelings it is ?, To know that you are loved and cared geniunly , despite being how flawed you are . He always seeeked and wanted more , something more . Incomplete and not enough always chased him wherever he went . He was greedy , his wants never met satisfaction. It must be jinwoo. He somehow always managed to make him feel feel full and complete. He feels like he can breath properly beside other person's presence for the first time. His mother always told him to find someone who will make him breath comfortable not someone who takes his breath away, because many people will take your breath away in a life time.Find who can make you feel breath properly . That is the way to know right things is coming to you . And again for the first time he found someone hate leaving too.

TH  - do you want some coffee ,
- Ok . 

Although taehyun should have drop him in front off his dorm , they were parked outside of his new plat. Was he planned this from the start ? Maybe yes, maybe no . It was just happened without his knowing .Just by intuition he  brought jinwoo to his new space . It was his first time bringing someone over there not even her . He wanted jinwoo to welcome his new plat and wipe foreign and unknown feelings from there with his warm presence . 

The lift was torturing slow . Their shoulders and hands touching . Although lift had enough space for 10 people, no one stepped aside and needed their private space. Adrenaline surging through his veins fast, making him dizzy and nauseous . His heart flurry, same time scared . Jinwoo wants taehyun , he wouldn't mind to beg for it tonight. He needed it .

It is like everything was just paused and someone pushed the play button or played past speed , skipping scenes from a bar . Their electrifying . Making them jump into each others arms when door just closed behind them. 
He could do everything to get taehyun just for this night . The boyfriend of someone , his donseung who he promised their forever friendship to each other . He would sell all of his for one night stand with taehyun.

Oh, how can he be so selfish , it wasn't his nature. It is kind of new feeling he never felt before . In any situation he thought about other's decision ,want and need before his , but love changes you. Making him territorial, selfish and hungry .

He is dissatisfied with his look .He would prefer sharp and strong features and hates it when others treat him differently . As if he is a soft ,delicate and fragile one . Often heard 'are you a gay' questions. Not directly but they implied and hinted something like that in their talks not once .He hated that , and hated it more when they was right all along about him . More than him they knew he would end up like this . Sure he had girls . Many of them . From his childhood up until now female population give him not disappointing attention . Kisses here and there , some heaty nights to release his stress with soft and warm body. Girls always came to him willingly ,without making him doing anything . Girls always took the lead and initiate skinship , while he just went with the flow . Thinking about it now , he never was this hungry for someone else's touch and feel .Abnormal quick heartbeats , choked breaths, burning desire , shaking hands . Don't knowing where to start to touch first and feel it .

- Can I come in ? 
- what r u doing here ? I thought you can't make it today 
- things was boring there 
- and since when you skips a chance to remind yourself to highers
- maybe since I got to taste your lips .

Jinwoo wore that cheeky and flirtatious smile of his . Nowadays he got to discover that taehyun is weak at it . The promising secret gaze coming with naughty mind , he could control taehyun like a puppy .Jinwoo do use those wisely. The more he is forward the more taehyun is docile. 

Taehyun lights the cigarette and takes long ,deep ,mind blurring intakes . Pale, lean pretty fingers takes cigarette from his lips and takes it to heart shaped lips . Jinwoo takes couple of big inhales from the stick and places it right back into his mouth . Those sinful lips let's out grey clouds of smokes and grunts at his fail to do perfect smoke rings . With a grunt jinwoo stretches his arm to take anothet one . Taehyun wonders why his lips won't letting out heart shaped clouds more than his never achieving smoke circle .He shakes his head at his childish thoughts . The force of jinwoo effect . Nowadays he prepares to stay home and watch jinwoo like cute animations more than going out and seek mind troubling arts . Although arts affect him like a poetry , simple things maked him easy and peaceful. People say water eats the stone not the other way around . 

- although I like to see you smoke . i don't want you addicted into it . so no more smoke time from now on 
- you are mean , I want to do at least 1 ring
- you never can, i will make it to you so just watch mine when I do it , okey 
- but ,I 
- ah ah 
- fine , you won
- good boy . you can't restrain your voice with this useless habit 

(PS: some angst starts from here , so if u r feeling down at lack of jinwoo update and missing him like crazy you better not read it) 

- not like people mind it . jinwoo whispers without any humor or regret. He was tired , so so tired of everything . He still felt ignored and left behind . He wasn't young as taehyun or mino and didn't have special skills like yoon and hoon's to make his name get out from unneeded folder . Nobody needed him there . He tries and tries , but how long it could last really . Someday he is going to the army and after that if winner broke again he wouldn't left with a hope for anything . Everybody is ahead of him , if only one of them prefers his solo career over winner he would be the last one to close that dusty door of his training room . That was bloody grievous image to imagine .

His little baby steps stopped managing to make him feel better already , it wasn't working anymore . Maybe he shouldn't hang onto with this this much from the start . He thought he is making something and achieving something by himself , but beside Mino's beside yoon's beside everybody's career his was almost nothing . Seunghoon just needs one high kick and he will blow everywhere . Besides he had many people cared about him . But no one bothered about him . There wasn't a thing to call his at the company.

He was tired of waiting for some chance that never seems to come . Maybe it was his limit of waiting and hoping . 

- sometimes I wonder , how I come to his point in my life . remember the days we worked like a crazy , dreaming about fan chants and lights and stages . 

- yeah , jinwoo says so . Although he don't remember how much he wanted it . Whatever he wanted and imagined was not this . Not to sit in his dorm or training room , class after class as if forever destined to be a trainee , waiting for his phone to ring and someone to call him to upstairs .

He waited one great thing to happen to him for how many years already . Maybe he wasn't meant for it . He was so sure once he debuted everything going to be smooth and possible . It was yg after all , everybody's dream company with unwritten rule to lead you into success if only you can debut there.

And he did , he maked it teary and bloody but after whole 7years he was still hungry as ever without control at his life and future. Uncertainty sits in every corner of his brain , room, dorm and company making him gnaw his nails by anxiety every damn days . If only he wasn't deluded by his falls imagination and daydreams about to become a yg singer like any other cool sunbaes he looked up, he could choose other opportunities .

In somewhere else, where his hard work or at least his face  could be used . He could be a someone who is needed and wanted in every way they needed him to be . He feels himself like a apple tree . if no one go to get apples in right time , apples bound to cut from branches it self and rot where it is dropped. The difference is he was rotting slowly .

Time flies , his youth too. The youth that valuable than gold , the times that never comes again, the times should be his prime were putting aside and left to corrode . Jinwoo's insides churns with self pity, regret and grievance .

Now he clutches into taehyun, hugging him like a question mark . Seems like he always yearns for something not meant for him and has damn stubborn and greedy heart. 

- but it was worthed . I wish some things didn't happened and I wish i did some things very differently but I can't step back but to keep going . I dont have a choice , not like I am regretting it either. I am content what I have now strangely . I stopped wanting and craving for many things at same time. Now I only need certain few things, that is all . I will make sure to protect it . His hand jinwoo's hair ever so slowly while saying so. 

- Taehyun,?,  maybe I should quit too . I mean, if... if you take me in your band . I hope I won't go through audition this time . I am sick of that word . I believe I can use my string here . jinwoo plays random strikes on taehyun's chest playfully . I can play drum and give you AdLibs . pretty cool isn't it ? We will go basking when we want and go to the country sides doing concerts here and there , just singing and traveling . Just like how you wanted it 
- don't 
- dont you you want me in  ?
- no , You can't waste your dream because of me . at least you should see the end , I want you to be happy and successful . I don't wanna be your regret , I can be whatever but not that . 
- but I can be happy with you here
- no , you are not . we can't 
Jinwoo felt a pang of hurt through his heart , his eyes misting with tears he can't shed. He gets out from the bed and wraps up his ness with the sheet. Feels too velnurable to go up and act like fine . he still dont know what is going on between them and what to call it . affair ? Is jinwoo being the other one . he still didn't asked about her . too afraid of the answer .

He wanted every little piece of taehyun , even he wasn't the one to call him his . He will steal and broke for him . Every pleasure every happiness every hunger every tears because of taehyun , because he gave him it was worth of hanging on and trash his morals . He makes him feel more than living , he didn't left behind with emptiness and helpless .Even if he fail , taehyun wouldn't be there to gather his pieces but himself .After years when his pain subsided and washed out with new feelings , this is going to be one thing he will going to cherish and decision he won't going to regret until he dies . Maybe taehyun's face and the feelings of his lips on him and their lazy morning with cigarette and soft chords of guitar and their humming while he snuggles to his side will be the last scene to cross his mind before he took his last breath. He is sure memories will bring a smile on his face nevertheless how ugly all of this could end . 

Taehyun knows why jinwoo is losing it nowadays . probably he is too velnurable and uncertain . maybe his share is big here . it was cute when jinwoo was jealous and cling into him . although jinwoo can't let it out taehyun knew why jinwoo was losing confidence . jinwoo was a fighter from the nature not a surrenderer . he was just tired from all of this uncertainty . he wanted to take his phone from his nightstand and dail seungyoon and ask about their album process . but he can't , it will sound ridiculous for both sides. 
from his side actually it was clear as day , who he chosen . it was decided the day he take jinwoo to his home for the first time . but his naivy hyung didn't even noticed he cutted his contact with her , busy in his own web thoughts, ignoring his hints . jinwoo would dress just for him and taking care of himself in highest . all pretty and dolled up every time he knocks his door ,taehyun would lose all his interest to go out and have fun with his friends . who would want when you can see and feel beauty at your door .He should make it easy for him 
- I think it is a time to live in between , with you 
- What ? What is that mean? 
-Since your comeback still on the talks , you could bring ray and bay sometimes , Polly and barley is missing them .... And maybe some of your clothes just in case you if you need it . 
- really ? Can i do that ? 
- of course , why would you ask . just dont let them know . ( because they could lock you and never let you comeback to me ) 
- OK , 
- OK? Really ? When will you bring your sanitary , or we could shop new things . that is better , your things remain in the dorm we will go shopping . you just bring the 2 and we are good 
- yey we are going to go shopping , jinwoo forgets about his lack of clothing and dances in front of his lover . taehyun watches jinwoo , enjoying the view of his body like he is watching some fine piece at gallery . taehyun gets up from the bed gingerly stepping behind jinwoos back . He drops on his knees and bites his asscheeks lustily . Jinwoo gaspes and jumps on his foot and looks back. In next seconds he was on his back in their bed while taehyun on his knees between his thighs nibbling his soft flesh not enough to feel the pain but enough to feel the hunger he have for it . Jinwoo can't wait anymore pulls from his hair and shows his hardening into his mouth. Taehyun loves it when jinwoo being this passionate and aggressive. In his hands jinwoo were hungry and needy and selfish. Maybe he likes it more when jinwoo is different with him . To seeing jinwoo wrecking himself with him makes him felt like he ruled the world . He got the most beautiful body and soul just for himself without their knowing ,behind their backs. He stole the gem just right under their noses . The thought maked him thrilled . He is the true winner after all. Whoever jinwoo loved before him , he will going to make it irrelevant now . Jinwoo 's eyes lips shoulders fingers back spen neck wrist fingers hips bums thigh everything was mesmerizing . His sketchbook tells it from thousand different angles . He found something he can't get enough.

But what about her , what if she catches them one of these days? Although she sports free life style and has free spirited mind ,she is very sensitive woman . Jinwoo could tell it . She will just know it in one glance at them . If that time comes he doesn't know if he will want to hide it or make it more obvious . Will taehyun going to leave him if he up his relationship between him and her .

He tell himself to shut up and be content what he have , but jealousy was a hard to thing to espace . Although he can see his smile and love him everyday , it was like a rich man who is suffering from paralyze , inch by inch day by day his body were numbing . Guilt and grave were reaching him within a minute the time he steps outside of this plat .

Taehyun was choosing to stay with him every time he comes without permission . He never once talked about her . His phone stopped ringing in nights . It was enough to hold on . He can't share him, he would do everything he could do to dominate taehyun's interest and love . It was enough . No one going to disturb their night and many more to come . He would fight for him . Jinwoo hugs taehyun's bare chest and places his palm right on his heart . His heartbeats steady and strong. He wants to put his name on it and lock it forever . He tightens his arms around taehyun possisively and places his head on his chest where his heart lays . His eyes got heavy lullabied by his melodic heartbeats and comported by arm around his waist , just equal as his hug . Tight and possessive. They fitted in each other's arms just perfect .

-If not forever stay with me 

With the longest time you can , stay with me taehyun 

A/N 

i will always miss taehyun , even he wasn't my favorite one lol . You brat better achieve your dream