The path to freedom is illuminated by the bridges you have burned ,

Adorned by the ties you have cut ,

And cleared by the drama you have left behind .

But the hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross, and which to burn .

Burning bridges behind you is understandable.

It's the bridges before us that we burn,

Not realizing we may need to cross, that brings regret.

Sometimes you get the best light

From a burning bridge  ―  \ Anthony Liccione \

\Present time\

          Pet boarding center have a distinct smell . It is impossible to hide that scent with any air freshener how many times you spray and clean up. Mixes of various animal's odors makes piquant scent. It is brings old memories about his grandpa's home in the countryside , taehyun often visited back then .

- Polly-ya, barley-ya daddy is here , is my babies missed me?
Taehyun takes his cats into his arms like a mother holding his twins . Two cats wriggles their tails as fast as they can , happy finally seeing their owner ,meowing at him and his clothed chest. Eager to show their love in every possible ways and  how much they craved for his presence.
- No , I missed you more . Taehyun’s feels all his muscles are relaxing, even his face muscles were tight and strangled , hard to loosen it nowadays .  

Being a pet owner is a interesting but also important role . It is simply agreeing to become a dad . Needs high responsibility and love from you . But it is more wonderful what it can give you in a return. Listener , companion , trust of being truly loved and you don't need to be afraid of hate, betrayal, disappointment and backlashes. It is simple, all about love and care . You can't find this feelings from anywhere this purely .

Those cats are his true friends. They just listens when he talks , taehyun sees from their eyes that they are understanding him  .But their eyes never judge him , just look at him as a who he is for real . Without trying to change him or trying to change themselves to fit with him for his or their behalfs . There is no need to try hard and struggle to be loved, simple as that . Most beautiful relation he got so far.

Taehyun arranged his cats stay at pet boarding hotel for last 2 weeks . It’s hard for taehyun not feeling them near him in these days . They could clean up his stress and anxiety with their fluffy soft hairs like a broom .

 His new apartment is not fully done readjustment , also because he is living with her in her house . Unfortunately his cats never got along with her cat , scraching his vision of their newly builded peaceful family . His cats can be moody sometimes but that was another level of distaste . He is worried about their health and well beings, after vitnessing how they are growled even emitted guttural moans at present of other cat. It was first time taehyun saw his cats letting out that horrible crying like sounds . He felt ashamed and mostly worried at their behavior in front of new friends . His cats were friendly and well mannered when he lived with them and there.

 In a narrow small rooms even between cats and dogs , his cats never acted jealous over their territories. Maybe because change , cats are having a hard time to adjust . He hopes they will like their new home and get use to the presence of new family members soon,  when they start living together for real .

After his visit done, he hurriedly walks into his car , silently cursing face slapping cold winter wind . In his midway he stops on his spot, facing window of pet shop . There was tiny little versions of  bay and ray at the shelf , waiting for their special someone .

\Sometime ago \ 
 

- Jinwoo hyung why both ?
- huh?
- Why are you want both of them . this kind of cats need extra care . At least choose other one from different breed .
- what if he thinks of me as a bad person .
- why would he ?
- He will get lonely if I only take him with me . I can't be with him all the time . I know how terrible to be left alone in that dorm . I need to take her too .
Taehyun understands what hyung meant . It was hard for jinwoo some time ago , maybe still hard . He just started to cope with the situation he and they can't change . Every time after long hours schedule and recording taehyun came home tired as hell but with the taste of accomplishment of today's . He would find jinwoo sitting on their sofa watching TV not really minding what screen showing for him , only god knows how he spents the days alone like this . In that moments taehyun couldn't show how much he was tired. That could be cruel act to show in front of his jobless hyung.
- that is he, jinwoo hyung . these are both males .
-Really ?
- yeah , there is gender symbols on their ankles . why are you suddenly changing your mind, I thought you interested in cute cats
- I thought so too .
- so why? cute and sphynx have opposite visuals.
- Clerk guy says sphynx are very affectionate, loyal and playful . Most important part is that they are really friendly to any other pet animals . They could be good friends with yours cats. And this one looks like you
- what ?? This ugly cat is looking like me to you . No way hyung. And they are both , you should call it beige
- aing taehyunnie. Just look at them . they need me . they are hairless , so velnurable, what if they get bad owners . I need to protect them . I think I can be a important and dependable owner for them .
- ah , hyung. Lets think about it again , they needs lot of work than you think
- You don’t believe that I can take good care of them , don't you ? . Jinwoo takes his hand from under his arm and starts to sulking very dramatically 
- aish, stop embreasing me, people are looking at you , stop with your aegyo . Taehyun glares at clerk who is checking out his hyung very openly ever since they stepped into his shop. Since when south korea becomes open country for homouals even . He bites his lips and swallows his curses about to flow , they didn't needed a scene there 

- I am the one who suggested you to adopt pet,  even coming here with you and giving you advises you need , remember ? ofcourse I believe you can be a very good owner , hyung. At least don't you think they are expensive ?
- yeah , right . I am sorry Tae, thank you for coming here with me . It is hella expensive to me too . but I still I want both of them .
- you can just choose one, that beige one . you wanted it right
- i told you baby will be lonely alone . Whether who is chosen it is not important, they are both going to be sad if they separate . Look at how their tails are all tangled , it must be the same as we clasps our hands . they must be brothers .
- hyung they are different, look at the colour . They are not brothers .

- I know Tae , silly you . I mean they are brothers like us . You and me , as a jinwoo and taehyun . When I left alone in the dorm I got really lonely, loneliness became sadness and sadness becomes anger . I don't wanna hurt him like I did.
Baby needs him because their sence and instinct works same. They will understand each other more than any other cats . Maybe like seungyoon and me . Taehyun's brows furrowed and heart sinks  , he doesn't like the idea of two cats simbolized jinwoo and seungyoon . It could be jinwoo and taehyun . Jinwoo should have put more trust on him than seungyoon .

They knew each other more than anyone and saw their every ups and downs . They trained together more than anyone in the team. Showing their most childish depression of teenage boys to each other and sharing most raw feelings and despair of wants to be something more. Until  seungyoon walked into their lives through a flower path .

But then again it is easy for taehyun . When no one expect from him more than he could give . It must be .

Seungyoon worked hard for them . Always showing patience and never avoided to learn something from them too . Jinwoo improved much more after seungyoon's arrival . Jinwoo was always good but never managed to show it fully when it is needed. His wish to be good and more than that was overshadowing today's jinwoo . Jinwoo always looked like a someone who is still searching himself. Lost and unready . But Seungyoon's companion and his continuous praise changed jinwoo  more confident at himself . It was pleasant to see him enjoying himself .

Not so long time after energetic, ever stopping lee seunghoon added to the team . Jinwoo and seunghoon was each other's force to be reckon with . They had same judgement and view at life. It may be because of their less or with their dreamy personality, they clicked just like a pieces of puzzle . Seunghoon was a fresh air to jinwoo, he grow more . With his never ending hobbies and interest seunghoon recovered jinwoo 's interest at new sides of life , outside of training room.

At last the guy ‘who can make everybody's hair stands on end with just one look’ arrived . His cold posture melted away with first stretch of his lips . Jinwoo never was people person , never intended friendship before hand . His shy almost timid personality always limited his friendship circle. But he welcomed fierce looking guy into their team with an open arms , welcoming him more than anyone . Taehyun doesn't remember jinwoo was into comedy. But after mino , jinwoo was all witty remarks and bad comedy . It was annoying how mino always managed to put his arms around jinwoo's shoulder and how they finishes each other's comedy in exact same words. Taehyun hated their chemistry.
Jinwoo started to find many reasons to smile thanks to team members.  His smile opened many doors for him and taehyun believes it always will .  Between harsh competition of trainees , they fitted pretty good with each other. They learned how to cover each other's flaws and how to bring out special skills from each other .

\Present time\

Thinking about it now everybody in the team affected jinwoo's growth with their share. Teahyun wonders what was his share . Was there something he gave to him ? The more he think about it ,he can't find something in jinwoo from himself . Jinwoo never got into art like him .

Jinwoo liked transparent things , nothing too deep and hidden from eyes . Jinwoo prepared visible, certain and apparent things. If taehyun observes what is under the water, jinwoo would look up at the sky and observe cloud shapes . Just like that .

 Their interest never comes together at certain spot, unless it is music . Yes, it must be music. Taehyun's brain started to work with his full speed almost happy. Jinwoo liked his music more than anyone. He even named his cats after his song . Baby baby . But decided to call it easier by Bay and give Ray to other one distinguish their names . Jinwoo loved that song he composed years ago .Always listening and encouraging him to continue to work on that one until it made title song of their last album .
-At least i give a name to his cats . Taehyun mumbles . Who was he to jinwoo and most importantly who now . Taehyun don't know . Is he someone unreplaceble to him or just any other fotgetten friends of his . friends that he cried after them but replaced some months later until whenever .

Taehyun doesn't remember the last time jinwoo mentioned sungjoo again . At least after debut . How much time jinwoo will need to forgot about his existence in his life . And why he is thinking about jinwoo hyung nowadays and top of that in the middle of nights . Full of jinwoo's thoughts swirls around his brain making him sleepless , or was he sleepless and thinking about him just idly.

Taehyun remembers little bit things about jinwoo, he didn’t know he observed jinwoo this much until now . He could draw him without leaving single mole from him , and his lips that reminds him of cupid's bow . Maybe he got too used to his pesence . Jinwoo never gave him an idea or direction when he composed then why he listened his comments . Funny things is that Jinwoo’s  comments were usually just ' good , nice , I like it ' . Taehyun could listen those comments from any other people .

 Taehyun doesn't remember why he only make him listen his records and why that became important to him. Taehyun watched him how he welcomes it , maybe jinwoo's eyes and body languages were more important than his comments .Like a chef experimenting new recipe and giving out his freshly made cup cakes to his important client for tester. It was that kind of feeling to taehyun.

Taehyun feels like he is losing himself . His every composed new songs feels like not his . Something were missing out .

Taehyun is confident that winner band will never going to lack without his presence . They will going to be a real big,  someday soon . So he too . He believes himself and confident at his music that it can bring him into his spot in music industry .

 It is just sometimes, when equally talented people try to fit and breath in one song was hard . There was a times he can't even recognize his own song . Because everybody needed to touch and leave their color into it.

He just wanted to sing , sing his songs. The song that contained his feelings, his breath, his story, and the notes he collected one by one . Some may call him selfish . He won't disagree , because he is. Because everybody is selfish , jinwoo hyung too . Jinwoo hyung was selfish because he wanted him in the team , beside his side for everyone's behalf . But he wanted freedom to compose and sing without any behold at his passion . Whether he created masterpiece or he wouldn’t care. Only creating with his heart's calling . Every time he cut and change single note, it took his spirit to create . It was making him crazy , he couldn't fit to a role who pleases everyone . Sometimes he really do feel like going crazy . Over smallest error he would lose himself . He knows , he knows there is no need to freak out, but until he crash and destroy something his anger never subsided . His copes with situation looked wrong by everybody near him , people started to take a distance from him.

 One day from his stuffy and messy world one woman found him . She was a fire but also full of life. Never stopping, forever moving force of  life . She never give him a restriction at whatever he wants to do try . Never complaining at whatever stupidity he would wants to experience . Just laughing, enjoying their youth . In that moments taehyun felt like breathing a fire , a freedom that burning his everything only leaving him more craving and breathless . He doestn't know if it is love or lust , but it had to be love . He sacrificed so much for this , but why he is missing the place he runaway from . The warm and soft feeling of his hyung's presence. The Only sound of his soothing voice and careful personality can tame his wildness . He misses his scolding but never harsh tone, wise words with understanding without blame .

Why he started to dream about his hyung? he would wake up with a smile printed on his face and that day seems more productive. Last time he saw him was the day he slammed his door shut in front of his face . After that night jinwoo stopped coming to him even his calls, annoying texts stopped coming . Maybe seunghoon influenced jinwoo , but he cant forget how stubborn jinwoo is when it comes to his life . Jinwoo always been soft hearted opposite of him , always forgiven, always patient to him.  He showed so much more bad things to him already ,  why only now he  decided to give up on him like everybody .Every time he gets near their dorm, he wants to go there and knock at their door . He wanted to ask why he giving up on him , when he needs him the most . Taehyun thinks he can live without a contacts from mino, seunghoon and seungyoon but not jinwoo . Just because they stopped working together shouldn’t mean they need to forget about their friendship of years , and they should become unimportant to each other .

Taehyun won’t lie to himself , jinwoo always been especial to him .  He believed jinwoo would be the last person he would cut his ties with, up until now . But for 3 months there wasn’t any trace of his most understanding person in his life . Taehyun remembers his last words he told to him  ‘’it is not your ing business’’ . It was harsh but jinwoo already heard that from him almost 100th times but never taked his heart up until that day. Jinwoo should know it was empty words .

He misses the silence , sickened him  before . Now all he has is chaos, mess, lust and destruction . Passion was always his home, his compass . He was born here and raised from here and comeback again . He wanted everything and got that . He was finally free.

 But why is he feeling lost, when he had everything he wanted and desired within his reach, under his sheats . Beside him she lays, breathing slowly . Her skin glows under silver moon light .  Where is the passion that burnt everything under his skin . He cant find . Are feelings subsided this early or it is  just a stillness after a war .

He was proud of  his hyung , happy that he finally starting to get spotlight he deserved . He really wanted to go there and cheer for him but that will going to be a start of another drama . The show need to be all about jinwoo , he didn’t wanted to spoil his special days .  

Taehyun checks every winner member's instagram posts . Only jinwoo didn't posted band picture . Many commented why he didn't posted group picture , but taehyun know better .

- Jinwoo hyung didn’t wanted to post group picture without me…

His heart swells with foreign emotions . Jinwoo hyung didn't forget about me . Maybe he is waiting for him . Taehyun was never good with apologize . But for jinwoo hyung he could do it  , it doesn't feel like that hard thing to do when it comes to jinwoo hyung . 

Teahyun opens his Line and taps jinwoo's icon

- Jinwoo hyung , i am sorry ...

Taehyun waited for 5 minutes , it was stupid to waiting  for a reply . Ofcourse hyung must be sleeping . He must be tired after show  . When he about to turn off his phone , his breath hitches and his fingers froze on a screen 

 Jinwoo Hyung is typing ...

A\N

________________________________________________________

It may be can continue, or not . Is someone want part 2 ?

If then romantic kimnam or just a brotherhood kimnam . Voice it out guys.

It is just a some random idea i got after seeing wot 4 photo . Many of you may know jinwoo didnt posted wot4 photo but a selca . My first thought was jinwoo is not ready to post something without taehyun . 

Don't blame anyone. Decision is made , nobody and nothing can change that now winner is 4 . wot4 + 1

I didn't edited the story , sorry.

And last, thank you Hanjoolover for the vote,  it maked me really happy ^^