*Warning: Some cursing included ><

"Hey, didn't you come to school with Taehyung today?" Tiffany, a classmate of mine asked about my bestfriend.

I shook my head, signalling a no. It was weird actually. Usually, Taehyung would wait for me outside my house and we would go to school together. But today, I had waited for over an hour for him and ended up taking a cab in substitute for the daily bus ride due to the fear of being late.

"Apparently, he came to school with a brand new look and damn, he look hot." She complimented. 

Before I could say anything else, a mix of squeals and screams cut me off, directing my attention to the classroom front door.

"I'm going back to my friends now, see you later!" She waved goodbye before walking out of the classroom.

The noise got louder and frankly speaking, I was not very interested in what the commotion was about. After rushing to school early in the morning due to being got stood up for no reason had made me very restless. 

Checking my phone once again, I sighed at the lack of message. Normally, when he was late or something, he would always text me about it but today, I got nothing. 

Irritated, I turned to the commotion at the door before I got the biggest shock of my life.  

Instead of the usual Taehyung that wore plated shirts and nerdy glasses, the Taehyung in front of me wore leather jacket and heck, he even dyed his hair a faded pink.

I had to admit, he looked nice with the style that he was sporting but he seemed so different that made me felt like he was different person. I preferred the Taehyung last time to be honest.

"Hey, about this morn—" I wanted to ask him what happened but before I could even get to the topic, he just walked by me, ignoring my whole existence.

"Oh, okay..." I brushed it off, thinking that he was just tired since it was early in the morning. 

~~~~~~~

No, everything was not okay. During lunch, I tried to talk to him but I was shrugged off like thin air, only given a smirk in return. 

Waiting for him at our usual spot which was in front of the school gate, I tapped my foot impatiently against the concrete floor. 

After waiting for an hour, I finally saw Taehyung walking out of the gate with a group of people that I could not recognised. Locking my eyes on my target, I walked towards him before grabbing his wrist.

"Give me a moment please." I told his friends politely before dragging him away. 

Before I could open my mouth to ask what was going on, I was cut off immediately by him.

"What do you want? Stop wasting my time and hurry the crap up!" He spat coldly, without giving me a glance.

Shock was an underestimation. I felt immense hurt passing through me, a result of how rudely he had treated me. The Taehyung that I befriend was nothing like the one in front of me. The Taehyung that I knew treats everyone with respect, eyes always hold a kind of warmth and kindness in them. But the one in front of me was a complete different person. 

"I was worried about what happened to you, why didn't you turned up in the morning?" I asked softly, my feelings getting hurt. 

"I just don't feel like going to school with a loser like you. Now you know the reason, get lost you ." He cursed, looking absolutely impatient. 

If my heart cracked just now, it had thoroughly shattered into bits and pieces. I could not believe that one of the people that was so important to me, that I trusted so most, would think so lowly of me. It hurts, it hurts so damn freaking much. 

If it was a random person, I would be able to shrug it off but it was Taehyung, one that befriended me despite how anti social I was, one that actually cared for my wellbeing and one that I grew fond of.

"I see, sorry for being such a and a waste of your time. Have a nice day Taehyung-ssi" I gave him a small bow before turning on my heels and walked away from the scene, trying to keep my tears from streaming down. 

~~~~~~~

The house was empty as usual. I scoffed at how ironic it was, the house being as empty as my soul. 

If it was the usual, Taehyung and I would hang out afterschool, be it studying together or just going out and have fun. I guessed I had became very dependant on him, expecting him to treat me as a friend or even more. But I was wrong, wrong throughout.

"He sees me as a waste of time, a fking ." I mumbled as I hugged my pillow tight and buried my head in it. 

It was as if I was going through a heartbreak, just that the person that broke my heart did not treat it as something important. 

And I really such a burden, so unlikable? Thousands of negative thoughts coursed through my mind, making even more depressed.

"I-it was not supposed to happen this way, getting r-rejected before I could even s-speak out what was on my mind." I murmured to myself, voice cracking involuntarily. Subconsciously, two lines of tears cascade down my cheeks. It hurts like the I was supposed to be.

~~~~~~~

The next morning, I walked out of my house feeling weak and tired. Getting your heart broken the first time was no joke, it do not just recover in the span of a day. The lost of appetite and sleep plus having a sudden monthly surprise added a ton of weight to the burden I was already carrying. 

Even on the bus ride, I could barely feel my soul in tact. I hated myself for being so attached, well aware that everything was one sided but I could not do anything about it. It was the first time I get so attached to someone. 

Once I got to class, the first thing I did was to plop down onto my table to get some rest, I really need it. 

Before I could successfully drift into dreamland, someone kicked my table so hard that I jerked up from the sudden impact.

"Did you have trouble sleeping at night? Busy thinking of me?" A voice that was so familiar to me spoke teasingly.

"Taehyung ssi, please go away for a moment." I asked nicely, knowing very clearly that I would break down easily hearing the voice of his. 

"Why should I, when I can be here having fun disturbing you?" He said playfully, totally oblivious to how I feel. 

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes again. As much as I hate his attitude now, I can't deny that I missed the old him, his deep voice and how he would talk to me about everything and anything.

I got up from my seat and rushed my way to the washroom, background playing on  about how he made fun of me.  

 ~~~~~~~

I was a coward, I admitted to the title. During recess or lesson time, I would try to sneak glances at him but as soon as he walked closer, I would immediately find a way to hide from him. 

It had been days, or even weeks since his whole persona changed and as pathetic as it sounded, I missed him. I missed how he smile brightly and innocently, how he would attempt to cheer others up and treat everyone with care.

But the one in front of me ignored everyone, talked back to the teacher and once, I even saw him flirting with a girl, something that he would never dared to do in the past. 

Thinking of him, missing him and reminiscing our days together took a toll on my health. My appetite got smaller and I could barely do anything other than spacing out. I hate myself so much for doing this, but I could not prevent it, I had fallen too deep into him.

Living alone and having no other friends other than him had kept me in my own world longer than ever. Everyday I was kept in a bubble of thoughts, no one would try to get in and no one cared to be honest. 

And one day, the strained had broke my body down so badly, I did not even had enough energy to call my parents before my world just spun and I fell into darkness, right at my living room.

~~~~~~~

I could feel something cold and wet in my forehead and when I opened my eyes, I was seeing white all around.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice sounded beside me making me jumped up in surprise before wincing at the sudden motion.

"Be careful okay?" The voice said warmly. It had been so long since I heard a voice as melodious as it. But when I looked up, I was left mouth agape.

Taehyung sat in front on me with a basin full of water beside him. He even got ready an aspirin and a cup of water. 

"You had a high fever, take these pills and—" He was about to get items on the table when I cut him off with a question.

"Why are you here?" My voice came out weak but my mind was clear, heart praying hard that the Taehyung in front of me is real and not a fragment of my imagination. Call me desperate or anything, despite what happened, my heart still ached for him.

"I'm worried about you, you're not in class or anything." Hearing his warm voice, something just broke in me which made me lunged forward to hug him around the waist.

"I miss you, Tae Tae. I miss you so damn much." I could not resist the urge. His voice held full of warmth, sincerity and genuine worry.

"But I am always in sch— wait, are you crying?" His hands wrapped around my shoulders and despite feeling his shirt getting wet, he still held on tight. 

"Why are you crying? I am here aren't I?" His soothing voice triggered this thing in me that made me cried all my heart out. 

He continued to hold me tight, patting my head gently and whispered comforting words into my ear, trying to calm me down. 

After half an hour, I finally calmed down by a lot. He patted my back once before pulling away. 

"Why are you crying? You can tell me everything you know?" He gave a gentle smile, one that I missed so damn much. 

"Tell me why you are acting so weirdly. Please, I need to know." 

He let out an embarrassed sigh before pouting, looking at his lap. 

"Remember those people that I was with in school? They actually made a deal with me. If I help them do their homework, they will teach me on how to get y-your attention." He stumbled over his words, face blushing furiously. 

"They said that nice guys finish last so they wanted me to change my image and treat everyone like trash. Even in dramas, jerks are the one that get the girls.

I was hesitant initially. But on the first day, you came to find me regarding what happened in the morning and I was convinced into thinking that it was working. But as the days passed by, we started to get very distant and I hated it, I hate it so much.

But the guys said that you were just playing hard to get and with time, you will come back. But you didn't. I am so sorry that it took me so long to realised that I was being used. I am sorry." He said with immerse guilt, eyes conveying how apologetic he was . 

"You hurt me so much you know?" 

"I know, and I am so sorry. I will make it up to you. Now take your medicine first, your fever finally gone down." 

He tugged me in the sheets but when asked me to go to sleep. I declined.

"What if you turned back to being mean again and treat me like trash? I don't want that to happen." I shook my head, being stubborn.

"I promise I won't." 

"Pinky promise?" I held out my pinky.

He grinned the boyish grin that I love so much before locking our fingers together and placing a peck on my forehead.

"Pinky promise."