This chapter is dedicated to Kim Jonghyun.

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It was 10 degrees outside. Not too cold, despite the time of the year. 

And yet it was freezing inside. Tzuyu could not stop shaking. She could swear she saw her breath condensing in the air in front of her. The tears pouring down her cheeks cut a frigid path to her chin, gathering at the bottom and dropping into her lap as ice pellets. Her heart was frozen, frozen solid, and on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. 

Her best friend was dead.

She'd heard the news just a few hours ago. Suicide, they said. Late last night. He'd texted her, said he was sad. He was lost, he didn't know what to do. Tzuyu had done her best to console him. Even referred him for professional help, if he needed it. He said he was fine. He said he was fine...

"It's my fault, isn't it? Why? Why, Jonghyun? What did I do wrong?" He had conferred in her. She had consoled him. He was gone. It was her fault.

The door to her apartment slammed open. "Tzuyu?"

"!" Tzuyu leaped out of her bed and quickly shut and locked the door to her room. She put her back to the door and held it shut. Her knees shook. The tears didn't stop.

"Tzuyu? I know you're in there..." The doorknob rattled. The klink of metal against metal was obvious.

Tzuyu cursed under her breath. Sana had a key. ...of course she did, they shared an apartment, for fricks sake! Her brain wasn't working very well.

"Open the goddamn door, Tzuyu!"

"Leave me alone!" She held it shut as Sana tried to push it open. Despite her best efforts, she was no match for Sana's determination, especially in her weakened state. The door flung open and Tzuyu was thrown to the ground.

"Tzuyu!" Sana rushed in, lifted her from the ground, and brought her to her bed. "You alright?"

Tzuyu pushed Sana off of her and gingerly held her own head. "Yeah... I'm... I'm fine."

"Clearly you're not." She looked around the room. The curtains were closed tight, despite it almost being noon. There were tissues and clothes strewn across the room. Her breakfast lay uneaten on the desk. "Look Tzuyu. I know this is difficult."

"Will you stop pretending like you know what it feels like? You have no ing idea, Sana. I killed him, Sana. It's all my ing fault. And you think you have any idea of what I'm feeling? You don't know anything, alright?!"

Tzuyu was not expecting the crushing hug she received. Sana crashed into her and pushed her up against the wall, whe