« chapter twelve »

•••

Though going to dance was one of the last things Lisa wanted to do, the absolute last thing she wanted to do was further irritate Jennie. Against her better judgment, Lisa had already called in sick the last two weeks for her Saturday shift at the academy; the first two weeks had been hard on her as well as the students because of how distracted she had been.

When Lisa finally checked her phone once she and Jisoo had gotten back from the station, though, she realized that among the numerous messages and missed calls, namely from Seulgi and Hyoyeon, one message was from Jennie.

J: See me in my office tomorrow first thing.

Since the hostile discussion the day after Chaeyoung had first stayed over at Lisa’s house, Lisa had had minimal, if any, significant interactions with Jennie. Of course, there was the incident with Chanyeol, but Jennie hadn’t dropped her mask since, well, Chanyeol had been there.

But now Lisa was headed into Jennie’s office. Alone. Just the thought made Lisa’s stomach turn.

That morning, Jisoo forced her to stay long enough for breakfast, though Lisa had just wanted to get the meeting over with.

“You’re worrying me, Lisa,” Jisoo had finally admitted out loud, and that was more than enough to make Lisa stay. Lisa knew that her behavior was worrying—and for good reason—but honestly, breakfast did not seem like a good idea with how queasy her stomach felt with just the thought of the upcoming meeting.

Today Lisa was more of a nervous wreck than usual, but when Jisoo asked if she was all right, Lisa just excused it as anxiety from what they had found at the station yesterday. Jisoo didn’t push the matter further, and Lisa was glad; there was no need for Jisoo to worry about Jennie on top of how much she was already worrying about Chaeyoung.

«•••»

It was only when Lisa was right in front of the door to Jennie’s office that her nervousness really hit her. Suddenly she wished that she had told Jisoo or at least someone about Jennie—maybe not everything, but at least that she had called Lisa into her office that morning. Almost every worst-case scenario that Lisa had ever thought about popped into her mind the few seconds before she gathered her thoughts and knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

The skin on Lisa’s arms broke into goose bumps; Jennie was usually a lot more controlling of her emotions, so the fact that her voice was borderline hostile did nothing to ease Lisa’s worry.

Jennie was not distracted with work as she usually was when Lisa was called in. Rather, her eyes focused on Lisa immediately, her gaze cold. Her hair was pulled back into a bun, and she was sitting up straight and stiff in her chair. With the pitch-black pantsuit that she was wearing, she somehow appeared more intimidating than usual.

Jennie didn’t speak for a few seconds, though it seemed like much longer, so Lisa bowed slightly, mumbling a hello. That seemed to bring Jennie out of whatever trance she was in, and she gestured for Lisa to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. Hesitantly, Lisa sat down.

Jennie stayed quiet for another few seconds before she cleared . “How have you been?”

Lisa blinked. Of all the scenarios running through her head, she had not been expecting this. “F-fine?” she stuttered out, taken aback.

Jennie nodded, her eyes never leaving Lisa. “You were sick the last two Saturdays?”

“Yeah ... I-I just—I didn’t feel too well when I, um, woke up.” Realizing her hands were trembling in her lap, Lisa clasped them together tightly.

“And you ran out of class that day?” Jennie’s eyes had narrowed by this point, her tone increasingly accusatory.

Though Lisa had until that point been overwhelmingly nervous and worried, at that question she felt a tiny spark of anger in her. She had known what this conversation would be about, but only now did it begin to address the topic of Chaeyoung. “I ...” Lisa took a slow breath to calm her nerves. She flexed her fingers to relieve some of the tension. “Yeah. I did.”

“And why is that?” There was a hard edge in Jennie’s voice.

This was not the conversation Lisa wanted to be having right now; this was not the topic she wanted to be discussing; this was not the person she wanted to be talking to. At this point, there was nothing more Lisa could possibly lose, and skirting around the topic like they had been so far was doing nothing but getting on her nerves. She looked up, straight into Jennie’s eyes, and said, “Chaeyoung has been missing for a few weeks now, and I’ve taken it pretty hard since she wa—is the closest friend I have. I snapped when they started changing the choreography since she wasn’t here, so I left.”

Jennie’s eyes flashed, and she started drumming her fingers against the surface of the desk. Any semblance of cordiality was now gone, and Lisa could swear the room suddenly felt colder, as illogical as that was. “You will not continue to be distracted by that girl,” Jennie said slowly.

“I care about her,” Lisa said, equally slowly, and she felt a strange sense of victory when Jennie became visibly more aggravated.

This time, Jennie’s voice was eerily smooth. “When I admitted you into this academy, you had no money. I am the one that gave you this life, and I will not allow you to so blatantly disrespect me.”

She continued speaking, her voice laced with venom, but Lisa could no longer focus on what she was saying.

This was a bad idea, but there was no way the situation was going to improve at this point anyway. So far, Lisa had been nothing but scared—scared of never seeing her parents again, of being kicked out of the academy, of Jennie, of Junhwe, of losing Chaeyoung ...

Lisa had had enough.

“—with the lead you have, there is no point in still waiting for her—”

Lisa stood up from her chair, shocking Jennie into silence. “I will continue to wait for Chaeyoung!” she burst out, her voice coming out louder than she intended. Her breathing was hard, and it was the only thing breaking the silence of the room.

Whether it was because of shock or suppressed rage, Jennie stayed sitting. “Excuse me?”

Lisa took a deep breath to even her breathing. This time, her voice a bit softer, she spoke slowly, the reality of the words hitting her only as she said them. “I ... I love her.”

Jennie slammed her hands against the desk, standing up as well, and her eyes were blazing. If she had been angry before, she was downright furious now. And as terrified as Lisa was, she felt oddly comforted that she had finally realized what Chaeyoung meant to her.

•••

Author’s Note:

as promised, an update this weekend! ta-da, the moment of realization! and more jennie x lisa interaction, as hostile as it is :P any thoughts?

also, you guys should check out my other story, "transience" (linked here)! that's the story that really brought me out of my writer's block, so i decided to post it here so i can share it with all of you ... hope you check it out! (okay, that's all for my shameless advertising lol)

thank you all so much for all your lovely comments! and whether you comment or not, thank you so much for reading this in the first place!

~ thana