disorientated

dĭs-ôr′ē-ĕn-tā′shən
noun
1. Loss of one's sense of direction, position or relationship with one's surroundings.
2. Mental confusion or impaired awareness, especially regarding place, time, or personal identity.
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❝I wanted to become happier and stronger by why am I getting weaker?❞- Tomorrow by BTS
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04. Disorientated
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Hyungwon woke up in a panic, whimpering and on the verge of tears at the agonising pain that raced across his back and dripped onto his sheets. It had only been ten minutes since Hoseok had fallen asleep, after he had woken up with the other five to experience the same agony that brunette was only just going through. Something was different though, his silver eyes had changed with one becoming a pulsating blue. Through one eye he could see the plain grey sheets that he'd fallen asleep in after the celebration last night, with the other however, he could see ruffled cream sheets that bunched around his and another boy's waist, one that had a head of familiar white-and-blue hair. 'Hey baby, it's time to get up' his own voice spoke but his mouth didn't move, and Hyungwon watched as the memory played out, as the smaller boy rose from his chest and blinking his half-lidded cobalt eyes. 'It's not fair, why do you call me baby when you are younger than me?' the boy grumbled, moving around to lay on his front so he could draw shapes with his finger on Hyungwon's bare chest. Said younger glanced at his own chest, with his usual eyes and saw the white tank top and not his bare chest. 'Hoseok, stop teasing me. It's too early for your teasing' his voice spoke up again, the name spoken sent Hyungwon onto the floor in shock. The present Hoseok stirred from his sleep, rubbing his eyes and focusing on the collapsed heap of the other male on the floor that was clogging up the room with his fear. It was then the younger saw the similarities ; the large almond brown eyes, the pouty pink lips, the jawline that was both soft and sharp at the same time. The smaller boy, the one with who had been in his dreams for weeks now, the one who he had thought was called Wonho, was not Wonho at all but Hoseok. Betrayal burned deep in his bones, he brokenly whimpered "It was you" getting up off the floor and running into the hallway.

Everything went wrong the moment he chose the option of running away. His vision blurred, voices all blending together in his head as the memory of him and Hoseok cuddling was replaced by another. One of him heading down the same hallway, delicately tracing his fingertips on the edges of photo frames that now no longer hung there. They held photos of him, with dark brown hair, arms slung over Minhyuk and Hoseok's shoulders as the group of seven posed for a photo together. Betrayal sunk even further in, moving from his bones to settle in his heart. It wasn't just Hoseok that had lied and kept important things from him— it was all six of them. Tears leaked out of Hyungwon's eyes unwillingly as he stumbled around, smearing blood across the light beige walls, he was searching for anything that could keep him steady whilst continuing to be bombarded with these memories, with the truth. He knocked a lamp over as well, but was too consumed in his own mind to care for the loud shattering or the glass shards that he was walking over bare-footed. Hoseok finally got out of bed when he heard the lamp smash, standing in the doorframe of their shared bedroom and connecting with the widened eyes with the five.

Panic was flowing through the bond they shared, weakening all of them since it was multiplied five times over. Hyungwon's fear, betrayal and uncertainty was there also but it was faint, his link hadn't been given enough time to form for it to give it's full effect. Hyungwon gasped when he locked eyes with a puffy-eyed Kihyun, the smaller male still mourning. He was seeing both versions of him, past and present, brunette and pink-haired. The Kihyun from the past had someone with him, an unknown eighth person who hadn't been in the photograph earlier, but had his arms wrapped around the smaller's waist and nose buried into the curve of his neck affectionately. "It's time for breakfast Jaewon" both Hyungwon's spoke, and everyone froze at the familiar name that hadn't been said in the house for over a century. 'Hyungwon, how many times do I have to tell you that it's Minkyun now? That name and the people who gave it are dead to me' the boy in Hyungwon's memories spoke, raising his head to smile at him. "Sorry, you know I'm not used to it. Minhyuk finished breakfast and told me to get you guys up" They both spoke again and Kihyun started to cry, his broken bond throbbing when he realised the memory that was playing through Hyungwon's head. "Okay okay, I'm not allowed any cuddles with your brother at all am I" both Kihyun's spoke back, one teasing and happy whilst the other was broken and desolate. 

Hyungwon recoiled at the word brother and Kihyun's shoulders shook with sobs, Minhyuk immediately heading over his door to pull the shorter into a hug. The memory playing was changing again but it refused to settle on one, but rather pressing fast-play on his entire last life and the memories focusing on one person in particular, his brother Jaewon. 'I'm going to call you Minkyun, because you are like a minature puppy' 'How can you, Hyungwon, the one supposed to be my older brother, be so clumsy?' 'I asked to change my name Hyungwon, from Jaewon to Minkyun so that I would never forget the one thing I loved from in those walls'. He remembered all of it, even most bitterly, his last moments when the light left his eyes. Hyungwon remembered how broken Kihyun looked that day, holding his dying soulmate in his arms, while bright green poison dripped out of his brother's mouth steadily. 

"No, no, no, no! You promised me we'd be together Minkyun, always! You said I would see you in our next lives, so where are you? You can't leave me here all alone" Hyungwon brokenly sobbed to himself, his hands desperately clutching at his head. His memories receding for a short second before completely devouring him.  His sobs turned into blood-curling screams, hands moving from gripping his hair to cupping his eyes, as he staggered around from the pure torture. It was like liquid acid being injected into his veins, searing his skin from the inside out, his body as well as his mind being pulled back into the past. Hyungwon's hair turned dark brown, his silver in his eyes being completely taken over by cobalt blue. 

But his body was going to fast to cope, blood was streaming out from his ears, nose and eyes. "It's too fast. It'll kill him if he can't control it. Hyunwoo, what do we do?" Hoseok cried, turning to the eldest, hoping he would have an answer to help his soulmate. He wouldn't be able to live without him for another century, he just knew it. "We can't do anything. Hyungwon needs to come to terms with his memories on his own, if we try anything, it could make it even faster and make his death certain" Hyunwoo replied almost calmly, watching as Hoseok whimpered from the fact that 'Hyungwon' and 'death' had been used in the same sentence. "Right now, he's become a slave of his own memories. His body is clearly trying to prepare him but he's overwhelmed, instead now he's self-destructive and dangerous. Not to mention, his powers are barely concealed, I know I'm not the only one who can sense it" Hyunwoo continued and it was true. The air around all of them hummed with power, radiating from the still shaking cobalt-eyed Hyungwon whose head had fallen limply to the side, like a puppets. 

Hyungwon then began to walk steadily out the door, eyes glazed over and blood dripping behind his every step. Hoseok was the first one to follow him, not close enough for the other to notice but not far enough that he would lose where the taller was going. The other five followed after Hoseok, Kihyun still relying on Minhyuk for support whilst Hyunwoo walked behind them in case Kihyun fell. 

All the other jae tansaeng had risen from their sleep, leaving their houses to see what all the screaming was from. And everything went pin-drop silent when Hyungwon walked slowly into the very centre of the grouping, his body on auto-pilot whilst his eyes surveyed everyone that was surrounding him. Hyungwon watched as their present-images flickered for a second, before being replaced by their past selves. He could see the boy who had himself wrapped in the arms of Sehun, see how he was pressing kisses his throat and how Sehun smiled brightly before pressing their lips together. He could also see a couple he hadn't seen yesterday with Junmyeon, although there they stood slightly to the side of him ; the rather tall male having his arms around the smaller feline-looking male and nuzzling his his chin into the crown of the shorter's hair. 

It was too overwhelming, it was too much. Holding out his palms instinctively, he gathered his energy until it became a tangible and visible blue light, before clapping his hands together. Dropping to his knees immediately, he transferred his pressed hands to the ground with the one thought in his mind to protect himself. 

The ground groaned for a second, it had been so long since a last earth-bender had transferred their energy for help. Vines shot out in a ring around the kneeling boy, curving over his tall stature and intertwining with each other to form a dome. Deadly thorns were the next to appear, covering the dome in a protective layer that would make most people bleed if they tried to touch.  

"That's a protection dome. Anyone he doesn't trust will be cut by his thorns. The only people who can reach him are people, whom in his heart he trusts" Junmyeon spoke up, easily understanding what exactly had occured as Luhan used to also be an earth-bender and would create the domes when he felt threatened. 

Hoseok went up first, gently touching the vines only to recoil when the thorns made bloody gashes across his palm. Hyunwoo, Minhyuk and Jooheon were next but also returned with blood on their hands. Changkyun went second last, tentatively touching one area where there wasn't a thorn, still recoiling when a thorn immediately grew there just to prick his skin and cause him to bleed too. Kihyun was the last, placing both hands directly on the dome. For a moment, the dome seemed to recoil it's thorns where the brunette touched and the vines shuddered for a second, preparing to open themselves. Hyungwon was clearly thinking about the older male's relationship with his brother. But in the end, he'd still lied and hidden things from Hyungwon so he too was pricked by thorns. 

"If members of his own jibdan can't get to him, who else can?" Sehun bitterly spoke aloud and received one persons tentative steps moving forward. It was Eunwoo, the one who Hyungwon had spoken to happily at the celebration, the one who explained the markings. He pressed his hands on the dome and the thorns immediately receeded, the vines untangling themself and returning to the ground to show the boy who had collapsed in the middle. He was unconscious, but still breathing.  

A pregnant silence fell over the large group as the truth was laid out in the open..

Hyungwon no longer trusted anyone within his jibdan