We came home with Miyu tailing me around saying her million sorries. I admit I liked it. But not reasonable enough to make fun of Chaeyoung’s uality in university’s eye.

         “Sana, hey gorgeous I’m sorry. I thought it will be good!”

         “SHUT UP MIYU! You didn’t know what you just did! Being a lesbian is maybe a common thing to the country you grew up but PROBABLY NOT HERE! What do you think issues Chaeyoung will receive after YOU making such scene?!” I didn’t mean to make my voice went high especially when I know its Miyu I’m talking with.

         “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it that way. She just shows me a ring and said to give to you so I think putting up some tricks on giving it will make it more fun!” She unreasonably reasoned.

         “Because you’re always playing around with someone that you didn’t even consider the norms of the place where you are in!”

         “Why are you so worried, it’s not you who gonna be in trouble!” She said and I realized how selfish my cousin can be. “It’s just Chaeyoung!” She added.

         “Just? You’re NOT GETTING ANY OF MY POINT!!” I slammed on my foot and overwhelmed myself with tears that suddenly fall down my cheeks since I don’t know how to explain myself. I blame my stupidity of not being able to make myself understands by everyone.

         Daddy knocked on my door and opens it without getting a reply. I wiped on my tears as Miyu bowed and greeted him. “My princesses I know something is up with you two and I’m not here to interfere. Girl’s fights are the most dangerous scene I have seen my whole life. I just suggest you to calm down a little since I have my visitor downstairs,” I buried my face on my pillows and just let out the anger I’m supposed to be shouting on Miyu’s face.

         “Uncle. I’ll be at Mina’s house for tonight. Don’t make dinner for three.” I heard Miyu said followed by a sound of my door closing. I felt a added weight on my bed and later on feel my daddy caressing my back for comfort.

         “We will talk later my daughter. Remember it, I love you.” He sweetly comforted me and kissed my shoulder. He went out my room also leaving me completely infuriated.

         I looked at the huge Teddy’s beside me and throw them all around my room breaking some vases and other furniture like paints and frames. I again buried my face on my pillows and didn’t know what to do anymore.

        My phone beeps showing a notification from ShutUpAndKissMe.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  u okay?

         I decided to make some valid argument to him so I can’t keep this in me.

         sanapomu:  why the hell you ask if I’m okay? You wanna fight me?!

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  I just assume that you needed someone to talk to. The issue about the proposal is all over the internet with video clips.

         With that, I opened my social media and see that Chaeyoung and I’s video got almost 745.2k views. I commented in one of the account who posted the video.

         sanapomu:  You cut the part where everything will be explained as Lie. How dare you spreading edited version of the whole shebang?!

         Before I typed a reply to shut up and kiss me.

         sanapomu:  it was all lies believe me.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  I know. I was there.

         sanapomu:  I will make it on guidance office. I will make them pay for everything.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  no matter what you do, those speculations about each other side will remains.

         sanapomu:  it was all lies!

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  that Chaeyoung is dyke? Obviously not.

         sanapomu:  you judgmental mother er!

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  everyone is judgmental Sana. That’s the world you’re in. You just gotta smile and accept things that happened. Kill everyone with your smile and prove them they’re wrong instead of thinking of counter measures about the damage they did. Unless you prove them right. Make it up with Chaeyoung and ask her about things you’re confused to.

         sanapomu:  I don’t have issues about her uality!!

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  good. Then yours?

         With that, I stopped and rethink. Chaeyoungs uality is fine. What about me? I liked her. That’s why I’m so mad about everyone making fun of her. Maybe.. It’s just a normal emphatic feeling since it was Miyu who caused the issue. Right. I’m not gay. I just... like her.

         sanapomu:  I’m straight! I just felt really sorry for her!

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  k.

         His reply is seriously shorter than usual. I still wanna talk it out but I don’t know what to say.

         sanapomu:  tell me. What should I do?

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  just avoid Chaeyoung the whole time and don’t let issues go far if you don’t have such guts to stand for it.

         sanapomu:  you’re getting cryptic. Stand for what?

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  nothing. Don’t mind me. Everything will be okay.

         Suddenly, A number named ‘My Man’ flashed on the screen as incoming calls. I almost lose grip on my phone in surprise but I still manage to answer it.

         “H-hello?”

         “Konichiwa Sana san this is Momo. Chaeyoung said you left the ring still on her possession. Get it on the lost and found by Tuesday since Monday is holiday yay! Good day ahead!”

         “Wait Momo-san.” I cut before she even hangs the call up. “Are you with Chaeyoung right now?”

         “Yup but she’s sleeping right now. I just remember it so I decided to ring you.”

         “Sleeping? Uhmm... Can I ask how is she?”

         “Why? She’s fine sleeping like a baby beast. Why again?”

         “N-Nothing. Just tell her my regards. Thanks.” Sigh. So it was just me taking the whole issue like it was a big deal? ShutUpAndKissMe was right. I should just calm down.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  Goodnight baby Minatozaki Sana =]

         sanapomu:  you’re right. Chaeyoung is just basking over issues.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  not really. It was hard to be mistaken.

         sanapomu:  mistaken? Are you still getting a hold of our topic??

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  maybe not. Goodnight Sana =]

         Weird. Yet, ShutUpAndKissMe helps me understand the matter very well. He can be good friend in person I’m sure.

         sanapomu:  goodnight. Thank you my friend.

         After that, I typed a text to Miyu.

         ‘Miyu my very gorgeous best friend I’m so sorry. Please come back here in the house. I already missed you.’

         I tossed my phone on the bed and just sigh. Everything will be fine.

-

         I woke up completely disheveled with Miyu’s hand on my face while Mina’s foot on my tummy. Overnight with the girlies are the sweetest things in the night yet horrible in mornings. I felt a sense of suffocation so I slowly removed their body parts on me. Holidays. I will shop my  out the whole day and make my daddy proud in some things.

         I jump out my bed and start my morning rituals. When I was done and about to cook breakfast, I spotted Daddy on the kitchen already doing the latter. “Goodmorning Daddy!”

         “My Queen. You were already sleeping when I was done with visitors so I haven’t done talking about you and Miyu’s things,”

         “It was done now. Prettiness is upstairs noisily sleeping.” I said and stuffed some sausage in my mouth.

         “Daddy wants a story,” he said. I smiled at him. Since when did he ask for story again? Yeah when I was freshmen. It’s breaking me to think that I don’t have normal bond with him since then. He was busy growing old and I was busy growing up. I guess it’s right time to have daddy and daughter moments.

         “Miyu did something that makes me gone mad at her.” I said. He served two toasted loaf on me and couple of fried eggs and sausages. I took the carton of milk in the fridge and help myself with a glass of it. “Daddy. What If I told you I’m crushing with someone?”

         “That’s normal Sana.” He replied sipping loudly on the cup of his coffee and eyes on his newspaper.

         “I don’t think so. Miyu have made mess with my crush so It maddens me.” I replied starting devouring my breakfast. I was occasionally looking up on his expression.

         “Really? How?” He asked and his looks that previously on his newspaper is now on me before he flashes simple smile.

         “Her lame shenanigans puts my crush on some issues about her uality,” with that I stopped and bit on my lower lip, the gradual change of his expression is hard to be unseen. He clears a throat and fixed his composure.

         “Did I hear it wrongly?” He asked.

         “Nope. I am indeed crushing on a girl that’s why I told you it’s not normal,” I gulped and anticipate his next words.

         “It’s still normal to have attraction in same  at your age.” He replied convincing himself that I’m normal, everything is normal and nothing is wrong about same  crushing.

         “Maybe.” I said and pour milk on my cereal.

         “A-Are you not seeing same attraction in guys at school? I mean, you didn’t—”

         I cut him with “No dad. I’m only seeing this Woman in the university. I found it disgusting to be around boys of my age.” See? It’s not normal. I ain’t normal.

         “Why and why not? You’re currently on marriageable age.” He said with hint of being slightly pissed on his voice. He just can’t let this out since I’m his Sana.

         “I liked the woman.” I plainly stated and put all my attention on him.

          He removed his eye glasses and focuses all his attention on me. “Sana stop with the woman and answer me.” He made his jaw clenched but I myself didn’t want him to be wronged about this thing. I want to tell him everything.

         “I told you. I liked the woman.” I simply answered.

         “Princess. You can’t like woman the same thing I’m saying just a while ago. End,” he said and finality present on his huge authorative voice. It moved me a bit. He may notice my surprise so he suddenly soften and smile at me. “Sorry baby. Daddy is getting too much into it.”

         “Daddy I’m afraid you might get the right Idea wrong and vice versa.” I said in all seriousness. “I’m not yet sure about myself but I’m certain about my liking towards that woman.”

         “Okay okay. Let’s not bring this up again. Tell me about the school.”

--

         sanapomu:  hey.
         sanapomu:  ShutUpAndKissMe you there?
         sanapomu:  I want to talk about something. Stop seeing my text and start replying.?
         sanapomu:  if you didn’t, I’ll block you.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  sup?

I rolled an eye. So he really needs threat before replying—my freaking gosh.

         sanapomu:  my blood.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  sorry was busy.

         sanapomu:  busy sight-seeing my messages? Good.

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  don’t act like a girlfriend to me. I’m not responsible for late text.

Whoa. Did I just read this? I got up my bed and typed for a reply.

         sanapomu:  wow. Had guts. I just need a talk what’s wrong with you?

         ShutUpAndKissMe:  nothing =] you can block me now.

         sanapomu:  as you wish.

         I came to his profile to block him and saw some of his post. Just a photo of a teddy bear and note book. Just that without even caption. His display photo is flag of Japan. Or just a red dot. Anyways. I came to block him. I went into block section and click okay. I don’t need another stress giver since I already have enough of them. I jumps off my bed and decided to just mow the lawn or even make some sense of my holiday.

         After mowing, I washed and drive myself at Mina’s shop. I don’t have other friends or even colleagues that I can ask out for shopping but my cousins. Miyu is here too but then, I spotted the foreign girl that I may familiarize as Miyu’s girlfriend. “Hey!” She waved on me signaling to sit down with her on the table. Seeing how her face looks so western, it makes me nervous. Boy, I pocketed only few English here with me and probably it was just Yes, No and Maybe. How am I supposed to talk to her when Miyu is with Mina on the kitchen?

         I silently sat in same table as her and said my awkward “Hello!” I twiddle with my fingers awkwardly, praying Miyu to come quickly. Everything is awkward.

         “You’re breathtaking in person mademoiselle,” she said with her accented voice almost sound so tragic to me. What did she said? Bad breath? Omg I never thought she’s that upfront. TT.

         “Sorry,” I said and bowed a little.

         “Nothing to be sorry about. How’re you anyway? What did you do in life?” She asked. OH GOD HER ENGLISH. I went to staring up at the ceiling; willing the answers to be written there or praying for a divine intervention to teach her Korean or Japanese TT.

         “Lady, I mean I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with me asking about it.” She said with all accents that I barely get what is what. Maybe even she had no British accent; I know I won’t get her English so much.

         “Me? Comfortable?” I asked.

         “Uh yes so... What?” She asked with obvious awkward stare.

         “I’m fine thank you,” I said. GOSH MIYUUUUUUUUU! And as if she heard it clearly, Mina and she came out sitting with us. Time for me to relax. Sigh.

         “I’m sorry if I make you wait Denise. How’s my cousin?” I hear Miyu talk to the girl so I just shifted my face to Mina.

         “Why? Are you constipated again?” She asked and I just slap her arms lightly.

         “Mina she’s English!” I said causing her to laugh at her place. I awkwardly bowed my head when Miyu and the Brit girl look at us. I hid my face in Mina’s back.

         “I’m sorry Denise but our Sana is native Osaka girl and Korean grown up. No English is involved in between,” I heard Mina said. I didn’t listen for more of their conversation since even I did, I won’t get any of those. I don’t care If they mocked my English in between I’m just being me.

         I slurped on my cranberry Smoothies waiting for their English conversation to end when the door chimes signaling for the coming of another costumer. Mina is about to get it but I stopped her.

         “Enjoy talking with English please,” I said in all sarcasm and walk to the costumer receiving area. In my surprise, It was Momo.

         “Konichiwa Sana chaaaan~” she greeted. My eye searches on beside hers In case she’s with Chaeyoung but fail. She’s all alone. “You look disappointed,” she said. I snapped and just bow at her.

         “Sorry, can I take your order?”

         “Are you the owner?”

         “Not really. Mina is busy.”

         “Can we wait a little? The whole troupe is here. I mean the students council. Just taking too long time walking,” Momo excitedly said.

         “Y-You mean, Chaeyoung is here too?” I asked. She just pouted.

         “I’m sorry but Chaeyoung is so down lately. We can’t even contact her phone after the photos and videos flared on the Internet. I felt bad for her and sorry for you because some bad student is dragging your name into it. Chaeyoung is sorry too,” with that, She bowed in behalf of Chaeyoung. 90degrees belly bow. That news makes me space out a little.
I thought she’s just doing fine.
I looked up to Mina and Miyu and I know they completely outheared Momo’s words. Guilt came displaying in Miyu’s eyes.

         Suddenly, the batch of smiling students council came in one by one greeted Mina and I also our visitor. After serving them, I wasted no time and started scrolling through my SNS. I click on one article about KRYSUniversity it was all about Chaeyoung. The article tittle made my anger triggered.

         ‘Students Council using her power as advantage of her dyke-ness.’

         Seriously, this is blowing out of proportion now. It’s clearly illegal. Cyber bullying. I scrolled down and saw various photos of her taking letters on my locker. ‘She is leaving love letter preying over Minatozaki Sana, the KRYSUNIVERSITY muse.’ Also the video clip of that proposal ‘Desperate wedding proposal that the Muse immediately rejected’ Oh god. This is clearly untrue. Other photos of her with females on the university with a hastag #Dyke. I slumped my shoulder and felt so hell down about it.

         I scrolled in my contacts and spotted the name ‘My Man’ I didn’t hesitate to dial it. In my disappointment, the call directed on her voice mail. “Hi this is Chaeyoung. Sorry for slight inconvenience I’m maybe busy or busy again. Will beep you back anytime sooner bye!” I once again dialed her phone and hear how lively her voicemail can be.  “Hi this is Chaeyoung. Sorry for slight inconvenience I’m maybe busy or busy again. Will beep you back anytime sooner bye!” I once again dialed it and never get tired listening to her voice.  “Hi this is Chaeyoung. Sorry for slight inconvenience I’m maybe busy or busy again. Will beep you back anytime sooner bye!”

For nth times, I am now in between try harder and why bother. Yet, my finger still dials her number. I choked on myself when I hear her voice saying. “Stop ringing my phone please. Clearly, I have no intention discussing things with you,”

         “Please Chaeyoung talk to me.”

         “Don’t blame yourself you have nothing to do with it. I’ll settle it myself thank you.” Before I can even speak again, she hangs up the call.

Sigh. TT.