What is this noisy chattering? I twitch in discomfort under a scratchy blanket. Suddenly, the voices disappear and it’s quiet again. The light is blinding even through closed eyelids. Slowly, I open my eyes.

 

The first thing I see is white ceiling that resembles that of a hospital. Vague images of a car accident flash in front of me.  Accident…

 

“Namjoon oppa…” My throat is dry and hurts when I speak. Someone holds my hand.

 

“I’m here, Byeol.” Namjoon, is that you?

 

“I’ll go get the doctor.” I recognise this voice as Soo’s. I try to sit up but my back is stiff. For how long have I been here? I struggle to look around in the bright light and find Namjoon beside me, his face tear-stricken. I hesitantly reach out and he leans closer, letting me caress his face. Oh, how sunken in his cheeks are. And these dark circles. Has he not been shaving? I gently catch a stray tear as it escapes his tired eyes. Namjoon takes my hand to his lips, a look of mixed emotions on his face.

 

“You’re awake?” The doctor – I assume – asks. I move my eyeballs to look at him. After a bit of checking, he takes down some notes on my chart.

 

“How is she?” Namjoon asks, his voice not relieved of worry yet. Apparently, I have been asleep for a whole week.

 

“We’ll have to monitor for a couple more days but we should be able to discharge her soon.”

 

“Thank you, doctor.” Whose voice is this? It sounds so strange yet my ears tingle at some familiarity. I strain my eyes to look for the source of the voice.

 

My eyes widen. Am I dreaming? I doubt my own words even as I speak. “Dad?”

 

“It’s me. I’m here.” Dad takes Namjoon’s place beside me and tucks my hair behind my ears.

 

“Dad…”

 

He leans over and pulls me into his warm embrace. “Shh, it’s okay. Dad’s sorry. Everything’s alright now, don’t cry.”

 

I’ve never once blamed him for what he’s done. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s probably mine. I always talk about how he never understands me and my passion for singing, but in blindly chasing my dream I’ve neglected my own father. He was getting sicker every day and I have failed to notice that.

 

I heard that dad had to go through counselling while in jail. They also put him on medication for depression. I’ve heard many things, but I’ve never actually went to visit him myself. I was afraid that I would be reminded of Namjoon if I saw his face. I was afraid that I would hate dad for what he did. And I was afraid that I would eventually hate myself for failing my duty as a daughter. Dad fell sick because I was too engrossed in singing to take care of him. I knew how much he was against me being a singer but I just had to rebel against him. Ultimately, this is all my fault.

 

“He was let out on parole,” Soo explains when we’ve all calmed down. Namjoon helped to elevate the bed slightly so I can see everyone properly.

 

“But how did you…?” I look between dad and Soo.

 

“This young man came to visit me once,” dad says, wriggling his eyebrow at Namjoon.

 

“Eh?” Have I ever told Namjoon about my dad before? No, that’s not the problem. Is he… is he going to think differently of me now? Dad has a criminal record, and Namjoon is an idol. He wouldn’t want anything to do with us now, would he? I shoot to an upright position and immediately regret the action as my bones and muscles whine in complaint.

 

“Byeol!” Namjoon holds me as I double over in pain. “I’ll go get the doctor.”

 

As he turns to leave, I grab onto his hand. As he looks into my eyes, I feel like he’s reading into my soul. His expression softens as he wraps my hand in his.

 

“This is not going to change anything,” he tells me, his voice a soft whisper. Tears well up in my eyes again, and Namjoon smiles as he wipes the little droplets away. “Since when are you such a cry baby?”

 

I sniff. “But is it okay for you to be here?”

 

“Why not? I’m visiting my girlfriend, what’s wrong with that?” Namjoon says matter-of-factly. Why does it feel like I’m missing out on something? I raise my eyebrows at Soo.

 

“You’re being hailed a hero for saving Namjoon’s life,” she says. “He has been officially entrusted into your hands.”

 

Namjoon frowns. “Don’t you ever dare do that again, understand?”

 

“What, save your life? Isn’t that why I always tell you to look out for cars? You’re going to get it from me first if I ever catch you dashing across a road blindly again!”

 

“Yes, my lady.” Namjoon bows exaggerated with a hand over his heart. “I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

 

Dad clears his throat to remind us of his presence. “I’m going to get a coffee,” he announces.

 

“I’ll go with you.” Leading the way, Namjoon follows dad out. Now it’s just Soo and I left in the room.

 

“Spill. What’s going on with those two?” I ask Soo while she makes herself comfortable on the chair beside my bed.

 

“You’re going to have to ask him yourself.”

 

“You really don’t know?” I raise an eyebrow at her but she shakes her head.

 

“I only knew about the visit after he went and came back.” Soo shoots me a weird look. “What did you tell him before?”

 

“Nothing. Why, what did he say?”

 

“He came to ask me if your dad hadn’t already passed away.” Soo looks at me funny.

 

Thinking back, I find no memory of me mentioning anything about dad to him. “Normal people like us will never understand the works of a brain of IQ148.”

 

“Well…”

 

“Well, but just one visit? How did they become so chummy with each other?”

 

“Save your questions for him.” She suddenly stands up and hugs me. “We were all really worried about you.”

 

I pat her back in comfort.

 

“Do you know how much Math I had to do in the past week? Seob wouldn’t leave me alone!”

 

I smack her as hard as I can. Releasing me, we look at each other and laugh.

 

“Let’s all go on a trip when I’m discharged.” I smile widely, my first in a long time.

 

“Call!”

 

“Call what?” Namjoon comes back with paper cups of coffee in his hands.

 

“We’re going on a trip when I’m discharged,” I say excitedly. Namjoon ruffles my hair with a dimply smile on his face.

 

“Where should we go? Jeju Island?” As we discuss too early in advance about out trip, I notice dad staring out the window.

 

“Dad, let’s all go together.”

 

He looks at blankly. “Where to?”

 

“We’re still deciding on that, but let’s go on a trip together.” Saying this, I look up at Namjoon who nods at dad. Dad says nothing but smiles.

 

Amidst more check-ups and frequent visits by my friends and family, I’m discharged two days later just as the doctor said I would be. Walking out into the sunlight, I stretch my sore body.

 

“There she is!”

 

Eyeing the reporter as he runs towards us with his cameraman behind, I turn into Namjoon’s chest.

 

“Sorry, please put the camera away,” Namjoon tells the reporter as he hugs me tightly.

 

“Byeol!” Soo drives up to the pick-up point and calls for us. Dad sits in the passenger seat beside her. Politely rejecting the interview, Namjoon leads me to the car and holds the door open for me as I climb in first. Soo speeds off as soon as Namjoon gets in.

 

“Sorry,” Namjoon apologises suddenly. I raise my eyebrows at him in question and then furrow them when I realise he’s talking about that reporter. I take his hand into my lap and intertwine our fingers. He smiles down at me and soothes my hair when I lean onto his shoulder.

 

“Shall we go for lunch first?” Soo asks, looking at us through the rear mirror.

 

Glancing over at dad, I say, “Let’s go to Auntie’s.”

 

Soo nods and signals before turning into the direction of Auntie’s restaurant.

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