‘I’m going to meet him.’

‘Sanghyuk??????????’

‘Taekwoon.’

The three dots indicating that Jaehwan is currently typing appear again and again, but no actual message arrives, and Hakyeon gloats. It was his intention to shock Jaehwan with the news, to fight back after that quarrel on Sunday, after which Jaehwan only talked to him as much as necessary, and stared daggers at him whenever they ran into each other in the flat.

The three dots pop up again, and half a second later, they get replaced by the message, ‘You’re an idiot.’

That’s nothing new, Hakyeon thinks, but he’s not going to tell Jaehwan he shares his views.

He stands up from his bed and walks out into the hallway, puts on his shoes and coat, leaving the flat with his earphones in his ears.

It has been months since he last saw Taekwoon: six or seven months, he doesn’t remember well anymore. All he knows is the last time he saw his ex-boyfriend, it was through the veil of tears in front of his eyes, throat feeling raw from trying to suppress his crying in vain.

The café they agreed upon is one they used to frequent when they were still together, popping in for a coffee on their way to Hakyeon and Jaehwan’s place.

When Hakyeon enters the café, he gets hit in the face by a waft of warm, coffee-scented air, something—despite the fact that he goes to such places quite often—that always reminds him of the times he spent with Taekwoon: so many coffee dates and chit-chats over a cup of hot chocolate when it was cold outside, fights that sparked over a plate of muffins.

Taekwoon is sitting by one of the round tables with a glass full of his favourite latte in front of him, scrolling through his phone with his head lowered. He doesn’t look much different than he used to: his hair is still messy from his habit of running his fingers through it from time to time, broad shoulders hidden under a black knit sweater twice his size. Hakyeon’s knees suddenly feel like jelly.

He orders a cup of blackcurrant tea and makes his way towards Taekwoon, shedding his coat and hanging it on a hat stand before stopping by the table.

“Hey,” he says, voice unsteady, a watery, shy smile spreading on his lips.

Taekwoon glances up at him and puts his phone away, expression ever so unreadable. “Hey,” he greets back, watching Hakyeon take a seat across the table.

The waitress places Hakyeon’s tea in front of him and Hakyeon thanks her, taking his time pouring sugar and squeezing lemon into the drink afterwards.

“How have you been?” he asks, sipping at the hot beverage.

“I’ve been well,” Taekwoon says, waiting for Hakyeon to swallow, and then, “Hakyeon, why did you want to meet me?”

Hakyeon puts the cup back down on the saucer, staring at it as if that could answer the question without him having to speak.

“It’s been so long that we last met,” he shrugs.

“And there was a reason for that,” Taekwoon replies. There are no emotions in his voice, none on his face, and Hakyeon feels a pang in his chest.

“I know it wasn’t… pretty, how we separated,” Hakyeon says shakily, and Taekwoon’s eyebrows twitch. “But I just— I thought we could talk it over. If you want.”

“Talk it over?” Taekwoon echoes softly. “After half a year? After everything? I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

It isn’t and Hakyeon knows that very well. They’re too different—they had this conversation numerous times when they were still dating; they both wanted something different from their relationship: Hakyeon, to be pampered and to pamper his boyfriend, and Taekwoon, to have a quiet haven where he could express his love without words and exaggerated actions, and have the same come back to him. Hakyeon is hot-headed and loudmouthed, and Taekwoon is slow-burning and secretive—the two of them could never complete each other. And when Taekwoon told him he would like to break up, it was both a tragedy and a relief for Hakyeon.

“Can you tell me how you’ve been feeling about the whole thing so far?” Hakyeon almost pleads, his tea slowly getting forgotten.

Taekwoon huffs, blinking down at his hands folding around his glass, the left corner of his mouth curling up in a sarcastic smile. His eyes are sad when he looks back up at Hakyeon.

“I’ve been feeling about it the same way I felt when I said we should end it,” he replies, gulping down the remnants of his latte and waving at the waitress. “We shouldn’t try to resurrect something that has been dead since the beginning. It’s going to be better for you, and for me, too. Believe me.”

“How do you know it’s going to be better for me?” Hakyeon quips, and Taekwoon’s eyes narrow in warning. Hakyeon continues a little quieter, “You said the same back then, but I’ve been feeling like ; I don’t—I can’t even form a normal relationship with anyone because I keep—”

The waitress puts the bill on the table, and Hakyeon sinks back in his chair as Taekwoon hands her the price of his latte, Hakyeon’s tea, and some tip for which he earns a radiant smile.

“You keep what?” Taekwoon asks when the waitress leaves.

“Forget it,” Hakyeon murmurs, drinking up his tea.

“You keep comparing others to me?” Taekwoon asks, and Hakyeon looks at him flabbergasted. “I did that, too, for a long time and it never did me any good to try to find you in others. So please, let yourself close to others instead of trying to shape them into me—I’m not the one you should be with, Hakyeon.”

“Nice ing way of telling me you don’t love me the way I love you,” Hakyeon snaps, and Taekwoon’s eyes harden. Hakyeon has always hated how Taekwoon could make him feel like a little kid throwing a tantrum, even if he knew he was behaving like that—it was one of the bases of their fights quite a few times.

“I don’t love you, Hakyeon,” Taekwoon says dispassionately, and Hakyeon may be imagining the way his face twitches when tears start collecting in Hakyeon’s eyes. “I told you back then and I didn’t want to say it out loud again, but if that’s the only way you understand me, there you go.”

Taekwoon stands up, taking his coat from the hat stand and putting it on, mumbling a ‘bye’, as he leaves the café and Hakyeon in it, sitting alone miserable and uncomfortable, wanting to vomit from the whole situation.

The plain ‘sorry’ he gets texted by Taekwoon afterwards is as empty as Taekwoon’s voice when he broke Hakyeon’s heart for the second time just a few minutes before.