With morning came more questions than answers. They woke up as they had done for weeks, curled up around each other with arms and legs entangled, but with added kisses and gentle of fingers against skin. KyuJong's eyes wandered over YoungSaeng before him. With the light of the morning sun he was able to study the Prince in more detail.

It wasn't as if he hadn't looked at YoungSaeng before, mostly when the other wasn't looking, but now he could trace every detail of the man's features with eyes and fingers. There was nothing about YoungSaeng he didn't find absolutely fascinating, or amazing. He had never considered in his life that a man could be this beautiful. The man's skin so soft to the touch, warm against his lips.

"KyuJong?" YoungSaeng whispered, and KyuJong looked up from where he had been marking a spot on YoungSaeng's chest. Those delicate hands were now framing his cheeks and drawing him away. "Did you want to talk about this?"

'No,' KyuJong thought to himself, no he didn't want to talk about this amazing feeling. Not about what it meant or how it shouldn't be happening. He just wanted it to last forever, even if in the back of his mind he knew that it wouldn't. "Why?" he asked, in answer to YoungSaeng's question.

"Because I couldn't stop thinking about you," YoungSaeng murmured, his hands were sliding over KyuJong's chest. The touch was sending shivers down his spine. "That kiss, it wasn't enough."

No, the kiss hadn't been enough for him either. All those days he'd tormented himself with the thought of holding YoungSaeng in this way, to do exactly what they had done last night and more. "What do you want of me YoungSaeng?" KyuJong asked, staring into YoungSaeng's eyes.

"All that you are willing to give KyuJong," YoungSaeng replied, smiling faintly. KyuJong need didn't more of an answer to that, and he pulled the other man closer, crashing their lips together as they rolled in bed together. There was so much KyuJong wanted to know about YoungSaeng, and he wanted to give YoungSaeng everything he had, including his body if that was what YoungSaeng desired.

It was in their favor that no one bothered them much. Many days they lounged in bed, only getting up to eat or bathe. Now that the manor was full of members of court they weren't allowed out of the rooms unless absolutely necessary. Something both of them were quite okay with. Most of their lessons had moved to their apartments, so they only had to don their masks, not having to change out of their comfortable clothing.

At night, as they lay in bed under darkness and each other to completion, KyuJong thought about the future. How they could grow old together, live their entire lives in these walls and never need anything but each other's touch. Thoughts of kingdom's and duties and obligations were the furthest thing from his mind while YoungSaeng was between his knees, swallowing him whole. He wanted to stay in this reality they created together, in the comfort and warmth of their bed.

~~~~~

Another event, and KyuJong wasn't as nervous this time. He and YoungSaeng stood at the foot of the dais where the King and Queen sat on their chairs, their sides pressed close together. Unlike the last event, the nobles had brought their children. An endless wave of pampered young girls in bright and overly worked dresses were bowing and scraping their knees to them.

After an hour he had stopped trying to remember names, only focusing on the masks and what they said. Learning the language of the mask's had been one of his lessons, and this was as good a practice as any. His thoughts were distracted though, since YoungSaeng's hand was firmly gripping his . The draping fabric of their robes hid this fact from anyone who observed them, and KyuJong was grateful that the mask was helping to cover his blush.

The King made a nice speech, welcoming all of the houses to court and how beautiful all of the daughters looked. KyuJong almost gave a start when he realized that it was only the daughters who were there, and no sons. After weeks of practice he was able to hide his shock, but couldn't resist glancing at YoungSaeng out of the corner of his eye. If this had surprised the Prince, there was no obvious inflection in his eyes. Was YoungSaeng prepared for this ahead of time?

It took another moment before it dawned on him. This event had nothing to do with the King, or treaties, or tax laws. This was for the Prince, and about selecting a bride. KyuJong's heart twisted and he felt the floor open up beneath him and swallow him whole. He tried to calm himself, knowing what YoungSaeng had said about a marriage being years away, but he couldn't help that nervous fluttering.

After the introductions, the guests filed out of the throne room to make their way to the grand hall for food and dancing. The royal family took the servant corridors to the back door of the room. Once there, KyuJong noticed the other families, and the sons were waiting. He relaxed after that, seeing how they the young ladies were now focused on those in closer proximity to themselves and not the Prince and himself.

"Are we expected to stay the whole night?" KyuJong leaned over to whisper in YoungSaeng's ear. The Prince shook his head slightly and turned to look at him. With his head turned away from the crowd, YoungSaeng's expression fell, and he frowned at KyuJong. Knowing that look meant YoungSaeng wasn't pleased with the situation either made him feel a little better. They ate in silence after that, ignoring the guests and concentrating on keeping each other company. YoungSaeng's hand was gripping his thigh under the table, the table cloth keeping it hidden.

With dinner finished, the tables were cleared and people began to pair off and dance, the band beginning to play some livelier tunes. YoungSaeng and KyuJong kept to the sides of the hall, and once again no one approached them.

"Where is JungMin?" KyuJong asked YoungSaeng, having not seen the servant all day.

"Near the doorway," YoungSaeng spoke softly, his gaze turning toward where he had said. KyuJong looked across the room and blinked repeatedly. A man in a black mask was leaning in to whisper against a woman's ear, their bodies close together with her back against the wall. It took a moment before he understood.

"He has a mask?" KyuJong whispered and YoungSaeng nodded, lips quirking in amusement.

"I did say he was from a noble house, of course he does," YoungSaeng mused. He was still holding the wine glass from dinner, not trusting any that the servants were bearing on trays.

"So he prowls parties looking for the next conquest?" KyuJong chuckled, sipping at his own wine.

"It used to be to find a wife," YoungSaeng said softly, turning away from JungMin to look at him. "But no one wants to marry into a dead house," he shook his head, his expression sad.

"Another reason why you envy him?" KyuJong said, leaning in a little, as if to hear him better.

"Would you fault me if I say yes?" YoungSaeng said with hopeful eyes. KyuJong swallowed thickly, reminded again of how their situation wasn't meant to last. One day, YoungSaeng would be married and sharing his bed with a woman, his wife. 

Where would he be? If he was even alive at that point, probably back home, working the fields with his father. He knew very well that he wouldn't be able to take the idea of being in the same house, let alone room with YoungSaeng and his wife. He shook his head slowly and smiled at YoungSaeng in support. No, he didn't fault YoungSaeng at all.

It was an interminable amount of time before they were allowed to leave. The King seemed to be taking longer than usual in making his rounds and speaking to several of the more prominent land owners. He could feel YoungSaeng tense beside him whenever YoungSaeng's father stopped to talk to one of the young girls. KyuJong wished he could do more to help YoungSaeng through this, but there wasn't anything he could do in public. 

The both of them keeping a reign on their pace as they left the room and walked down the halls side by side. Once back in the relative safety of their apartment's, YoungSaeng all but dropped wearily into his arms, hands sliding around his back. The masks and clothing were barely pulled off when they collapsed on the couch together.

"Kyu," YoungSaeng whispered against his lips. KyuJong gasped and a shudder ran through his body when YoungSaeng wrapped his hand around them both, them together. Pressing their bodies together again, KyuJong's hand ran through YoungSaeng's hair, his fingers tightening around the locks as he rocked into the hand and against YoungSaeng.

It was over in moments, KyuJong out of breath, panting from the wave that was still coursing through him. Staring down into YoungSaeng's eyes that held nothing but a content warmth. He leaned down to capture his lips again, a slower gentle kiss that before.

"KyuJong?" YoungSaeng murmured against his lips, his hands coming up to wrap around his neck. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

KyuJong pulled back, searching YoungSaeng's eyes after that confession. How was he supposed to respond to that? That had been more than unexpected, he had never thought that YoungSaeng would say that. Even after all the weeks they had become closer, touching each other in intimate ways, pleasuring each other in the confines of their bed, he had never expected the Prince to fall in love.

Nor had he expected himself to become so deeply attached and enamored by the man lying beneath him. Was it love though? Could he be in love with a man when all he had ever known was that only a man and woman could be together. It seemed there was a flaw in the rules of relationships that he had been taught. A man could love another man.

"I think I'm falling in love with you too, YoungSaeng," KyuJong smiled gently, comforted by the slow grin that spread over YoungSaeng's lips. It was the only way he could describe what he felt for the older man, and it felt right to say it. He was in love with YoungSaeng.

They moved to the bedroom, coiling about each other in a content embrace, exploring this new found feeling and level to their relationship. Both of them knew that it wasn't fated to last, but those were discussions left for another day, far in the future. If they were even needed when YoungSaeng took the throne, and his bride.

~~~~

If the time they had been together before was happy, the next couple of weeks was like living in a dream. There was more to their relationship than the physical intimacy, even before it had all started there had been a deep friendship that had been established. They often just lay curled up together talking about their lives, their past, and even touching on their future. 

There was no promise to be together forever, they both knew that could never happen for them. Only speaking of the reality of what was to come. KyuJong spoke of marriage, and wives and children, and how he never wanted to go back to the life that was waiting for him. He wanted to be his own man, to not rely on a landowner to pay his wages for half of what he was worth. YoungSaeng listened quietly while he spoke, and encouraged him in his dreams when he was finished. It was a fantasy though, and they both knew it.

Everything about their lives was a fantasy. It was hard to imagine that one day he would leave the confines of the apartments, or that YoungSaeng would return here alone and cry out his grief when he was killed. The latter more likely than any other scenario he could have come up with.

Funnily enough, he wouldn't trade that future for anything if it mean not being with YoungSaeng right at that moment. If he were to die tomorrow, he would have died happy, and protecting the man he loved more than his own life.

~~~~

It was close to lunch on a blustery rainy day when they were interrupted by a knock on the door. YoungSaeng quickly got to his feet, pulling up his pants and trying to tidy his hair, KyuJong standing up as well and wiping his mouth. They both tried not to blush as JungMin entered when called. There was a fraction of a second where KyuJong saw a tightening of JungMin's eyes before the man smiled broadly.

"I'm sorry to disturb you sir, but the King is requesting your presence," JungMin bowed low and then straightened.

"We'll be ready in a moment," YoungSaeng inclined his head and started to turn towards his room. KyuJong a pace behind, ever the meek servant to his master.

"Alone," JungMin said before they reached the door, and YoungSaeng stopped to look at him.

"Alone?" YoungSaeng echoed, frowning at JungMin.

"King's orders," JungMin said with a smile, bowing again. YoungSaeng glanced at KyuJong, motioning him to follow into his bedroom. Once the door was closed and KyuJong went to the closet to select an outfit for YoungSaeng.

"What do you supposed he wants?" KyuJong asked mildly, helping YoungSaeng undress. There was no time to make the most of it, so he restrained himself from letting hands wander. YoungSaeng seemed to be distracted anyway.

"I don't know," the Prince shook his head, his lips set in a thin line. "You'll be okay here?"

"Of course, I'll probably lay down for a nap," KyuJong smiled, tying the sash to YoungSaeng's robe and picking up the mask to help YoungSaeng attach it. It would be the first time he'd been completely alone in this place since he had walked through the doors, he realized when YoungSaeng was standing before him ready to go.

"I'll be back soon," YoungSaeng smiled, wrapping his arms around KyuJong's waist and leaning in for a kiss. "I'm sure it's nothing and my father is just in one of his moods."

"Let's hope," KyuJong smiled, returning the kiss until YoungSaeng pulled back and walked out of the room.

The thought of lying in bed alone wasn't appealing, and he would have just tossed and turned anyway so KyuJong went to the study to read instead. Even that was distracting whenever he looked up to YoungSaeng's usual chair to find it empty. When had become so completely attached to the other man that he couldn't sit for a few hours without him?

He tried to imagine what YoungSaeng would be doing if the older man was there. Probably trying to hide the flirty glances again, or teasing him by running a hand down his throat while he was reading. Little gestures that usually resulted in KyuJong throwing aside whatever he was reading and pouncing on YoungSaeng. He recalled more than a few times of dragging YoungSaeng down onto the floor and just about tearing his clothes off.

A smile crossed his face and before he could stop himself he found his hand sliding into his pants. There came a noise from the other room and the sound of a door closing and people whispering brought his attention back to the present. Setting his book down he went to the door, opening it a hair and looking out.

"....need to talk," JungMin had closed the door behind him and YoungSaeng was stalking through the room, yanking the mask from his face and tossing it away.

"I've had enough talk for today," YoungSaeng snapped, flopping down onto a couch. "But you're going to insist, so go ahead, let it out. What did you want to talk about?"

"You and KyuJong," JungMin had his arms folded across his chest and was staring at him with an unamused expression. "What are you playing at this time Saeng?" KyuJong blinked a few times at the informality they were speaking to each other in, but kept silent and listened.

"I don't want to talk about that," YoungSaeng said shortly. KyuJong couldn't see YoungSaeng from his vantage point, but knew the look the Prince had likely given.

"Too bad," JungMin replied. "Does he know? About the others?"

"No, and he doesn't need to know," YoungSaeng sighed, sitting up to look at JungMin with a frown. "What would you have me tell him? The truth?"

"Ideally, yes," JungMin nodded, taking a seat opposite from him. "I've seen the way he looks at you, Saeng. It was the same look the others had, and they never knew about this little arrangement you've made for yourself concerning them. He deserves better than that."

"Why do you care so much?" YoungSaeng snorted, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Because it's not healthy, for either of you," JungMin shook his head, closing his eyes. "I get that being with them makes you feel happy, and it's about the only contact you get, but it's not fair to them. They love you, and you lie to them?" KyuJong's eyes widened and his heart stilled in his chest. YoungSaeng was just using him? Had used all the others before him?

"I don't lie to them," YoungSaeng said firmly, standing up. "And who are you to admonish me for what I do? You are no better with how many notches you have on your bed post."

"I make it very clear that I don't love them, and don't lie to them that I have feelings for them when I don't," JungMin got to his feet and the two stared at each other. "You can tell yourself whatever you wish YoungSaeng, but the truth of it will come out to him sooner rather than later."

"I don't lie," YoungSaeng snapped, and KyuJong could see his fists clenching. "You're excused JungMin."

"Tell him the truth YoungSaeng, about everything," JungMin sighed, bowing and taking his leave. KyuJong stood in the doorway of the study, unable to move, unable to think after hearing that conversation. YoungSaeng didn't love him. YoungSaeng was only using him. Just like he'd used all the others. He could feel his heart shattering into tiny pieces. He opened the door slowly, staring at YoungSaeng through tear filled eyes.

It took a moment before YoungSaeng turned and notice him there, and the Prince's eyes went wide when he did. "Kyu...." he started to take a step forward but KyuJong's face hardened. "It's not what you think.. you don't know the whole..."

"Save it," KyuJong whispered, unable to stop his voice from choking off. Closing his eyes and feeling the tears roll down his cheeks he took a breath breath to steady himself. "Is there anything you require of me today, m'lord?" There was a long pause as he opened his eyes again, YoungSaeng staring at him with an unreadable expression.

"No," YoungSaeng spoke, his back stiff as he turned to go to his room. The door shut behind him and KyuJong finally let out the sob he'd been holding back. He crumpled down onto the floor of the study, clutching his knees to his chest. Had he really been that stupid to believe that someone like the Prince would love him?

It took a considerable amount of effort on his part to bottle up his feelings and keep calm after that day. For the first time he slept in the room he had claimed as his, shivering under the cold blankets at night. Meals were terse affairs with neither of them speaking. In fact they hadn't exchanged a single word in almost a week. 

He would have been lying if he said it hadn't been hard to keep up the silence. All he wanted to do was crawl back into bed with YoungSaeng and hold him close. He wanted to ignore what he had heard and just continue believing that they loved each other. He missed kissing YoungSaeng, missed his touch, his laugh. Everything KyuJong had grown to love, even the small little flaws about the Prince. But he couldn't ignore the truth, that YoungSaeng had used him. For what end he wasn't sure, and frankly didn't want to know.

The summer heat gave way to the cool breezes of autumn, and KyuJong realized one day he'd been at the manor for over half a year at that point. It had been nearly two weeks since he'd overheard the conversation between YoungSaeng and JungMin, and they still hadn't spoken to each other since. Luckily there had not been an event or a reason for the two to leave the apartments. Even so, the tudor's and JungMin had noticed something was wrong but YoungSaeng promptly told them it was none of their business.

KyuJong found himself reading a great deal, usually bringing the book back to his room instead of sitting in the study. His room was the only part of the apartments that didn't hold painful memories for him. Sitting propped up against the headboard of his bed, he held the book up as he read, trying to ignore the conversation that was taking place outside in the main room. JungMin and YoungSaeng were arguing again and frankly he had had enough of listening in on their discussions.

After a short pause there was a knock on the door, when KyuJong looked up JungMin was poking his head in. "Hi, mind if I come in?" JungMin asked, smiling at him. He didn't wait for a reply and stepped in, closing the door behind him.

"What do you want?" KyuJong sighed, setting his book aside and scooting over to the edge of the bed.

"We need to talk I think," JungMin said, sitting down at the foot of bed, bending his knee and turning to face him. "About YoungSaeng. He tells me that you overheard our conversation a couple weeks ago, and may have got the wrong impression."

"I think I understood perfectly," KyuJong said, looking away from the redheaded servant. "YoungSaeng uses us, and lies to us. Lied to me, made me believe he loved me."

"That's the part where you got the wrong impression," JungMin nodded, frowning slightly. "How much do you know about YoungSaeng? His past? Did you know he's never once stepped off the manor grounds?"

"No, he never told me that," KyuJong shook his head, he had just assumed he had, but YoungSaeng had never mentioned traveling or anything about life outside the manor. "What does that-" He was cut off by a stern look from JungMin.

"When he was sixteen, he was allowed to choose his first mangto, and truth be told it was a disaster. They hated each other, could never get along," JungMin chuckled, and KyuJong stared at him with a puzzled expression. What did any of this have to do with him? "I don't even remember the kid's name now, I'm sure YoungSaeng would know. But after he died, YoungSaeng had a sort of a revelation about what being a mangto means. The boy was only sixteen, his whole life ahead of him and then he was dead. YoungSaeng refused to find another for almost two years."

"Why? I thought he hated him," KyuJong asked, very confused.

"YoungSaeng realized that after the boy died, that the last few months of his life he had been miserable. YoungSaeng felt so guilty after that, that he resolved to do his best to make sure he could get along with whoever he selected next. He wanted to make sure that whatever time he spent with them would be happy."

"So he lets them fall in love with him, so he can feel good about himself?" KyuJong snorted, not sure how this was supposed to help. If anything he was resenting YoungSaeng more for how selfish the Prince had been. He should have seen that coming though, considering it was royalty.

"He doesn't let them do anything," JungMin shook his head. "YoungSaeng has spent most of his life in these rooms, I was pretty much his only friend and that was because we were cousins that I was allowed near him."

"Cousins?" KyuJong blinked. YoungSaeng had said he was the last member of his family, how could they be cousins?

"Our mother's, were sisters," JungMin explained with a sad smile. "So while I get the perk of being related to the crowned prince, I'm not in line for the throne. Best of both worlds really. Anyway, the point is that it was just me keeping him company, so his ideas about social construct were a little off to say the least. YoungSaeng wears his heart on his sleeve, and falls deeply for whoever takes it."

"I guess I'm just not understanding what you mean then," KyuJong shook his head, baffled by this conversation. JungMin sighed and sat forward, folding his hands together in front of him.

"It's not that YoungSaeng was using you, or the others, but he was letting them use him. He wants so much for you to be happy while you're here and with him that he loves completely, without reservations," JungMin said, looking into KyuJong's eyes. "He likes to call me a because I sleep with pretty girls, but in reality he's not much different where his heart is concerned."

"So how is that going to make me feel better?" KyuJong sighed, resting his head against the headboard. He didn't see this as much better, if he was just another in a long line of loves. At what point would YoungSaeng not be able to distinguish one from the other? 

"He does love you KyuJong, and not talking to you has hurt him deeply," JungMin sighed, frowning softly. "Which is why I told him to be honest with you in the first place, so that when you did find out about the others and how much he loved them you wouldn't feel like you were being used or it was no less real."

"So I should have let him explain," KyuJong sighed, closing his eyes and hitting his head on the wood behind him. "Now I feel like an ."

"Well, yes, but I think he'll forgive you. Besides, he really needs you right now," JungMin said, sliding off the bed and heading back to the door. "I think he went to go take a nap, if you were wondering." JungMin left the room, leaving the door open behind him and KyuJong heard the main doors open and close.

After a few minutes, KyuJong nodded and slid off the bed, padding out into the other room. Like JungMin had said, the main room was empty and YoungSaeng's bedroom door was closed. It took a few false starts before he finally turned the handle and peered in. There was a lump in the blankets that he assumed was YoungSaeng. Smiling softly he crept over to the bed, pulling back the covers and slid in behind YoungSaeng, wrapping his arms around the man.

It was a little while before YoungSaeng finally stirred and turned to look over his shoulder bleary eyed. "Kyu?" He whispered, blinking and rubbing at his eyes.

"Hi," KyuJong said lamely, smiling at him. "I'm sorry," he whispered, pressing a kiss to YoungSaeng's shoulder.

"No, I'm sorry," YoungSaeng turned around in his arms, curling his fingers into KyuJong's shirt. "I should have told you about the others, before you heard that. I just... I didn't know if you would understand."

"Well, I didn't, still don't, but JungMin explained, and I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain it first," KyuJong said, running his hands over YoungSaeng's back. Now that the Prince was back in his arms, he never wanted to let the man go. He had missed being with YoungSaeng so much, and it hurt that they had been at odds.

"I do love you KyuJong, more than I ever loved the others," YoungSaeng said, his eyes wide and sad. "I have given so much more of myself to you, I hope you understand that how I felt about them pales in comparison to you."

"Would you blame me if I don't trust that?" KyuJong said, leaning in to kiss YoungSaeng who returned the kiss almost immediately.

"No, I wouldn't blame you at all," YoungSaeng whispered words caught in his throat as KyuJong was running his hands down into the front of YoungSaeng's pants. Clothing was quickly dismantled until YoungSaeng was hovering over KyuJong, fingers and lips marking and teasing until he was settled in between KyuJong's legs.

"Saeng," KyuJong whispered, sitting up and grasping YoungSaeng's face in his hands, kissing him again and again. "Saeng, I need you, I love you." He was trying to get through to YoungSaeng what he wanted through his kisses, through the way he ground their hips together. It seemed YoungSaeng got the message, because he was pressing KyuJong back against the mattress, hands running over his side and thigh.

"I love you too Kyu," YoungSaeng breathed, giving him one long heated kiss before pulling back. KyuJong's eyes fluttered at the new type of attention YoungSaeng was showing him, and before long he was gasping, crying, back arching off the bed only to be soothed by YoungSaeng's kiss and touch. It was slow and gentle until KyuJong was crying out for more, urging him on with a roll of his hips. Anything they had done so far up to that point was nothing, a mere drop in the pool of pleasure that he now felt while YoungSaeng was inside him.

It ended much the same as it began, with KyuJong's back arching and gasping for air. YoungSaeng's lips were on his neck and chest, moving to his jaw then to his lips, all the while whispering words of comfort. KyuJong panted heavily as YoungSaeng lay down next to him, enveloping each other in their arms as they kissed, and cuddled and enjoyed the moment.

When KyuJong woke up a few hours later, YoungSaeng was standing at the window next to the bed, his robe wrapped around himself and looking out. Stretching, KyuJong crawled out of bed and padded over to him, kissing his neck and shoulder's.

"You have to leave," YoungSaeng whispered so quietly KyuJong wasn't sure he had heard it.

"What?" KyuJong turned YoungSaeng around, his brow furrowed. "Leave?" YoungSaeng refused to meet his eyes but nodded slowly.

"That day when I was summoned to my father, he told me he was stepping down as King, he has the wasting disease and won't live through the next year," YoungSaeng whispered, his hands were trembling. "In the spring, my bride will arrive and I will be coronated and wed."

"Why does that mean I have to leave?" KyuJong said, shaking his head. "I don't want to leave, YoungSaeng I love you."

"I love you too, I love you so much KyuJong," YoungSaeng's lips quivered and tears began to spill over his cheeks. "That's why I'm sending you away, so you don't have to be witnessed to my marriage. I'm sorry KyuJong, I truly am sorry."

"I'm sorry too," KyuJong took a step back, letting YoungSaeng go and looking away. His heart had been on a roller coaster this past day and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"JungMin will help you prepare to leave," YoungSaeng turned back to the window, not able to watch as KyuJong nodded and left the room.