The alarm clock keeps ringing in her ears like it wants to rip her head apart.

The loud grunt is heard inside the small bed room. The smell of dog’s poop filled the air.

“YAH! GINGER!!! DID YOUR JUST TAKE A IN MY ROOM!”

The said mischievous dog runs in a full circle and whimper in victory.

“..you bad dog…” Taeyeon buried her head and sigh loudly.

 

“Why I have to go through this” her eyes start to water again for a reason she doesn’t even know. The previous event replayed in her head.

 Another ten minutes passed as she drag her body tiredly towards her bathroom.

As the hot water run on her back she closes her eyes and thinking a lot of ‘what if’.

2 bottle of soju wasn’t even working, a pack of cigarettes wasn’t helping, and tears wasn’t stop flowing. Taeyeon just wondered hard why people likes to broke her in to pieces. Why people likes to throw harsh words to another human being, thinking that that person isn’t going to be hurt by it. Like, is it good to act like you’re god? Does it feel good to makes people cry? If this how world works, Taeyeon wonder, is it better to leave it then? Maybe it’s only been 22 years since she was born, maybe she doesn’t know how the world really works, but it is enough to make a whole picture out of it.

Taeyeon tired of all this. How every morning she had to wake up in exact time, well except weekend. How every evening she get off from work in exact time. The way she brushed her teeth, the way she cook her egg, the way she try to fall asleep.

Is it true that life is so boring?

Is it okay if people make themselves feel better by making others feel worse?

Sometimes she wondered if stars ever feel like they’re nothing? Or even they’re special? Do they feel normal? Does moon ever smile? Does wind ever get tired? Does the sea wants to stop for a while? Does bird ever wants to live on the ground and doesn’t want to fly again? Does God love her like he used to?

The questions. Ever so many questions unanswered.

Deep thinking. Over thinking. Every day. Worsening.

Can’t sleep. Can’t function properly. Can’t find a reason to keep going.

Taeyeon likes to stare at her arms; the fingertips, the wrists, the blood vessel, the scar marks. Tracing an invisible line on them.

 

Taeyeon shook her wet hair and turn off the water. She then step out from the shower and wrap her deep green towel around her wet body, not bothering to wipe the trail of water from her wet, damp hair.

Ginger walked to her legs and sniff her, his eyes meet hers and it looks like he wants to comfort her in a way that makes her emotional again. Like he understand and feel the sadness too. Maybe wondering why his master always so gloomy.

Ginger maybe a major factor why Taeyeon decide to keep going to work- to feed him. If he’s not there maybe she will lock herself in her room and just lying and staring at the white walls, doing nothing.

 

After eats cereals and feed Ginger, Taeyeon take her car’s keys to the door. She kiss Ginger goodbye and pet him countless time before letting go.

“I’ll see you soon, little devil”

 

--

 

She always takes same route to her office every day.

When she stops in traffic light, she suddenly recalls an accident that occurs yesterday midnight. That girl in white summer dress who lying on the middle of freaking road just because she wants to watch self-claimed beautiful stars.

“I wonder if she went back to lying on the ground when I left” Taeyeon looks at the place she found her lying. “Did someone run over her?”

She change the gear when the light turns green and slowly step on the gas.

“Is she from around here? A fugitive maybe?”

Taeyeon keeps thinking about that specific girl until she arrives at her office.

 

She park her car in the basement and press the elevator button. Taeyeon almost immediately got in to the cubicle when the doors opened and naturally press her floor number.

She keeps her gaze to the changing numbers on the top of the elevator doors when the door opened in the 4^th floor.

Eung? Weird. Usually no one get in from this floor.

A girl pass by and she can smell the parfume she uses almost instantly.

 

“Hey”

Taeyeon looks up again at the LED panel on top of the door, not realizing the call.

“Hey, the girl with the sad eyes”

Taeyeon turns her head slowly to the left and noticing that there are only two people in that elevator right now.

“Uhm.. did you talk to me, miss..?”

“Who else?”

“Uhm, do I know you?”

“We met last night”

Taeyeon tilt her head and frowned, trying to recall anything last night involving a pretty girl.

“Did we?”

“The moon’s so beautiful that night”

 

 

“Oh my god!” Taeyeon whisper loudly as she clutch her sling bag harder. “you’re the ghost…”

“I told you I’m not”

“You’re the crazy girl in white dress”

“You only right in the white dress part”

“..right”

 

 

“You work here too?” the girl, who now wearing a nice white blouse with dark pencil skirt and high heels leans on the wall and play with the tips of her wavy ash blonde hair.

“Too?” Taeyeon drop her jaws. “You work here? Since when?”

“I work here. Close your mouth please”

“..sorry” Taeyeon fidget with her shirt. “I work here as well”

“I wonder why we never met before”

“Me too..” she sigh. “So, which floor?”

“Same as you I guess”

“..okay”

“Taeyeon, right?”

“Yeah”

“Do you still remember my name then?”

“Of course, how can I forget such a beau.. I mean such a crazy little girl in the middle of the road, Tiffany”

 

The elevator door opens and Taeyeon almost jumps out of it. “Bye” taking a big stride towards her desk and trying to figure why she never saw her before.

How can I never notice such a beautiful lady like her in this bulding before.

Taeyeon then turn on her computer and type her password in; starts the usual same day.

 

 

Unknown to her, in exactly 10 steps apart, Tiffany glance at Taeyeon’s direction and let a small giggle out at the door frame of director's room. So, so cute.