Haters exist because we own our feeling,

If we have to borrow feelings from others,

I believe most of us will use it to love more,

Because hate is useless when you have limited time to feel.

~quote from BIUBLANK~

“I am so tired!! Please... I hope no one going to disturb me today.” Kwon Jiyong lay flat on his bed. He is very tired. Last night he did not get any sleep because he suddenly filled with inspiration to write lyrics. He even finishes producing one full song, complete with lyric, melody, and choreography.

This is rarely happen. Usually Kwon Jiyong need to squeeze every little bit of his brain and dream to even write four lines of lyric. But yesterday he just filled with inspiration. He got a new girlfriend yesterday. Not girlfriend ‘girlfriend’ just friend that is a girl. It is been long time since he is able to have free time to go explore Seoul and make friend. Yesterday is just his lucky day. He got free time, he got to buy stuff and he got new friend. Maybe that is why he is full of inspirations.

‘Is it too sad. Will Hyung-nim say anything? Ahh..molla.’ Kwon Jiyong sleep with that final thought.

Even though he get new friend, his song is depressing, not really, it is more like sad unhappy funeral song. That complete song is just too dark. But, did Jiyong care how dark his song? Nope he did not care. Why? Because he know he will not debut in anytime soon.

Sleeping for six hours make Jiyong become more tired. He become too lazy to move his hands not to mention going for a bath. “Jiyong-ah...Jiyong-ah, wake up. Don’t you have free time these three days? Go hone. I will send you home. Palli. Go take a bath and I will send you home.” This is an order but saying in super soft voice. After all Jiyong is the golden child of Yang Hyungsuk.

“Eumhh..I don’t want to go home. I write one aong yesterday and I plan to record it. Can I hyungnim?” Jiyong stretch his tired limb while talking to Yang Hyungsuk that sit beside his bed.

“Song? What song?”

“Oh...I got lots of inspiration yesterday and I finish write a song. The melody keep stuck in my mind. So I need to record this. Jebal. Can I record this song? Just this one song.” Jiyong know recording studio is only for YG artist. And usually it is full. Since YG is a quite new, most trainees do not have any privilege like YG artist. They cannot use recording studio, they cannot use bigger dancing studio and they do not have chance to perform at all.

But we are talking about normal trainees. Not Kwon Jiyong. The rule apply to all trainees actually, but Jiyong always got his way with his words and clinginess.

“Jiyong, you need to go home. Your parents already call me to send you home when I said you are free for three days. Please go home. Your parents is scary sometime. Go home okay?” Yang Hyungsuk still remember when Jiyong parent plan to terminate his contract with YG when Jiyong suddenly go missing for two days. It definitely not YG fault, but his parent say it is YG fault for being careless.

Hearing Yang Hyungsuk say his parent is scary, is really funny. His parent is not scary they are just manipulative. Jiyong still remember what happen 2 years ago. Haha.

“But I need to record this melody before I lost it. After I finish I will go home. I promise.” Jiyong start his begging with a cute pout. If anyone see this they can either fall in love or hate Kwon Jiyong forever.

With Jiyong pouted mouth, his large nostril, his swollen eyes, and birdnest hair, Jiyong cannot make anyone bend over. That include Yang Hyungsuk.

“Nope. You will go home today and come back later in two days. Then, I will try to find any free time for you to use the recording studio. Arasso? Go home first.”

“But I can forget the melody in two days. I need to record it while I still remember it.” Jiyong counter back.

Not losing, Yang hyungsuk reply to his golden son begging sarcastically. “A true artist will be able to remember his own melody not only for two days, but forever. So, are you a true artist Jiyong?” Yang Hyingsuk give small and teasing smile to Jiyong.

“Arasso”

“Go take a bath first, I will send you home. I have something to talk to your parent later.” Yang Hyungsuk push Jiyong to the bathroom right across his bedroom.

After Jiyong finish wearing cloth and everything, he come out to the living room seeing his Hyung-nim on the phone.

“Ne...tell them to wait for awhile. I will come in a moment. Ne...Ne...Arasso”

After finish talking on the phone, Yang Hyungsuk turn to Jiyong. “Jiyong-ah, something come up. So I have to go back to the company. Can you go home by yourself?” Yang Hyungsuk feel guilty since he already promise to send Jiyong home. He even have something to talk to Jiyong parent. But someone waiting in his office is much more important right now.

“I am not a child. Of course I know to go home by myself. Hyungnim do not have to worry. I will ride a bus and go home after I eat my breakfast”

“Ah. Ne. This is some money for your breakfast and your bus ticket. Make sure you go home. Do not go somewhere else. Arasso?!” Yang Hyungsuk give 1000won to Jiyong.

“Arassoyo Sajang-nim,” Jiyong reply while standing up straight and salute.

“Aish this kid.” Yang Hyungsuk ruffles Jiyong hair playfully.

“I wilk go first. Make sure to go home. I will call your parent to ask for you later. If you are not there, you are not allowed to sleep in this dorm anymore. I will kick you out to sleep on the street. Understand?” Yang Hyungsuk not playing when he said that tho. He really meant it. Jiyong parents is scary and he care too much about Jiyong to lose him now.

“Ne”

Jiyong goes through the dark and dirty alley to reach a small abandon warehouse. No one will dare to step to that warehouse if they did not know anything. But Jiyong knows everything about that warehouse, in fact, he is the one that first found that warehouse and cleans it for his dirty job two years ago.

“Aik? They are not here? Usually, this place will be full by now. What happen?” Jiyong is a little shock to see the quiet warehouse. There are also a lot of cardboard on the floor. He remembers he told everyone to clean up before they go home. Don’t they clean up anymore?

“Yoboseyo?!!! Anyone here?” There is no reply. That make it weirder. There will be at least someone in here every time.

Jiyoung wait for five minutes before he sees someone he knows. “Yah, where is everyone? Why this warehouse is so empty.”

“You don’t know? They all go to NTB warehouse. New stuff arrived there yesterday. So they all go there to test it. I think you should go to. After all, you know more about that stuff than any of us.”

“NTB warehouse. Arasso. I will go there.” Jiyong thank that I-know-him-but-not-his-name man.

On the way to NTB Jiyong stop at a nearby bakery to buy some bread. He already feels hungry. He also needs a lot of energy to test the new stuff. He bet that new stuff is amazing and can bring him to cloud nine.

Loud music can be heard 5 meters from NTB warehouse. That confirm everyone is really there. Jiyo g enter from the open door where he was served with few boys lay on the floor and few others are jumping around circling them.

Jiyong looks around for the owner of this warehouse. He needs to test the new stuff now. He already shaking of excitement now. After looking around for about 10 minutes, he sees Kim, the owner of this warehouse at one corner of the warehouse. Jiyong approach Kim slowly. Greeting everyone along the way.

“Kim, where is the new stuff. I want to test it.” No greeting at all. Jiyong is too excited to test the new stuff but he cannot see it anywhere.

“Jiyong, you come. I heard that you have three days free time. I thought you going home.” Kim is not really shocked to see Jiyong here. But he still not expects Jiyong will come today.

“I ran away from home. Hahaha. Now, where is the new stuff? What is it?” Jiyong becomes more impatient. He looks everywhere but he cannot guess what is the new stuff. But he knows that things are the best since everyone is literally losing their mind dancing now.

“Here. That new stuff is inside there.” Kim out something in Jiyong hand. A key.

Jiyong does not know what to expect anymore. But he did walk to the said place with the key in his hand. Kim and few of his friend follow him from behind.  Reaching a small container box, Jiyong opens the door with provided key. He looks at Kim and his friend for a moment before he enters the small room.

“What the hell!!! !! Yah! How rich are you to buy this thing?”

Jiyong shout from the inside makes Kim and his friend laugh from the outside. Kim knows Jiyong will be jealous of him. He loves to make Jiyong jealous. That little brother of him is so cute when he is mad, pout and sulk.

“Hyung, how come you afford to buy this? YG only have one of those and we need to share it. I have been in YG more than 6 years and I am never able to use it.”

“Oh, now you call me hyung. Just now you call me Kim. You disrespect little boy. I will not let you use it.” Kim said teasingly. Not that he care about that small thing. In this warehouse, everyone often forgets to call someone honorifically. Here, respect goes with the order of who dance better, who sing better, who rap better and who battle better.

“Hyung it freaking recording set. You can set up a recording studio with this hyung. Where did you get the money? Did you rob your own father?” Jiyong eyes are sparkle. It is full of hope and excitement.

“Yah!!! How dare you say that to me. Actually, I talk to my father already and we decide to open a recording studio. That is why we buy this recording set. But for now, we going to put it in here so that everyone can use it. We want to help underground music.” Kim walking around checking the recording set.

He did buy this to help underground music. There are lots of amazing talents hidden from the world especially in his warehouse and Jiyong warehouse. He also knows that Jiyong will be able to produce more song with this.

“Hyung, can I use it today? I really in need of recording set now. It is a blessing hyung. Please, let me use it today okay? I will pay you if you want.” Jiyong suddenly said shocking everyone around him. This is their first time seeing Jiyong desperate like this.

“Why? Of course, you can use it. No need to beg me like this. You scared me, dude. What happen?”

“I get this song I finish yesterday but you know how I cannot use the recording studio right. So I really need to complete this song. The melody keep bugging my mind making me sleepless hyung”

Kim knows how Jiyong always prioritises his work over everything. That make him respect Jiyong.

“Go complete your song. I do not want to use it yet today, you can use it all day. Don’t worry.”

“Yah! Why is it too sad? Are you having problem Jiyong-ah?”

Only Jiyong and Kim left in the recording container. Kim wait for 12 hours until Jiyong finally finish recording his song. He just give all the time Jiyong need. He want to left Jiyong alone after almost everyone go home. But he feel attracted to the song Jiyong produced. Even though he feel happy these few weeks, but this song make him remember his first break up and it sadden him.

Usually it did not take this long for Jiyong to produce one song. Moreover, he already get all the melody and rhythm match perfectly with his lyric. But he just feel too depress after singing the first two line. He sobbing throughout the whole song. He only able to sing line by line after take hours to calm down.

“I think I am losing my feeling hyung” Jiyong stare blankly to his shoes.

“Your feeling? What happen? I cannot understand what you are trying to say.” Kim giving his full attention to Jiyong.

“I was not able to write anything for two weeks already. The monthly assessment is next week and I am getting frustrated with myself. So, I end up going up for a walk when I saw a car crash happen right infront of me. I just look and do nothing hyung. I did not even help anyone. And even worse, I suddenly get lots of inspiration seeing someone nearly died infront of my eyes. I finish one song and more than ten lyrics. It make me fell like a shell. An animal with human shell.” Jiyong bring his hand to his head and grab his hair with frustration.

“Why?” Kim do not know what to say and what to ask anymore. It shock him when Jiyong behave like this.

“I do not know hyung”

“You...feel guilty?”

“I feel nothing hyung. Don’t you understand! I feel nothing!! I don't feel sympathy, I don't feel guilty, I don't feel anything!!!”

“Jiyong, calm down.” Shock with Jiyong outburst he try to calm his dongsaeng. He know why Jiyong feel like this.

“I know what happen to you Jiyong-ah. Do you want me to tell you?”

“Please hyung. Tell me...help me.”

“Let follow me” he drag Jiyong to his car after he close down everything. He got new possession now. So he need to close down the warehouse. He never close down the warehouse before.

“Where are we going?” Jiyong ask curiously.

“You will see later”

They drive for 15 minutes in silence. Jiyong has fall asleep so Kim was torn between proceed with his plan or send Jiyong home to rest.

He wait for another 30 minutes before he wake Jiyong up.

“Why are we here hyung?” Jiyong look around to see he is in parking lot of SNU hospital.

“I am going to send you to physiatrist to get you brain check” Kim replied teasingly.

Blame the half awaken Jiyong or his naivety, he did actually believe that.

“I am not crazy hyung. I want to go home.”

“Lets go. Follow me”

Kim end up dragged Jiyong out of his car and into the hospital after Jiyong desperately trying to escape for his grab.

Going through the hospital, they reach registration counter. Of course with Jiyong still struggling in Kim hold.

“There is a car crash near here yesterday. Can I know which is patient room number?” Kim asks politely to the person in charge.

“There are quite a lot of car crash yesterday. Which one if I may ask you?”

“Ummm...”

“The one right in front of the junction three block away from here. There is a car and a van involve” Jiyong cut through their conversation when he realise where this is leading to.

“Ah...yes. May I know who you are?” Jiyong know it is only her job to ask that but he feel stress up with the question.

“Oh..we are just the witness and we just want to know how they are doing.”

“Ah. Ne. However, you cannot really see them because they are in ICU. They are quite critical.”

“What?! But when I saw them yesterday, there are not much bleeding. Even the man in the middle of the road is not that hurt. They look fine.” This news shock Jiyong because he did not know they are going to be this bad. They look totally find with only few scratch because of the road. The crash is not even that bad.

“Yes. But all of them experience internal injury because of the crash. The crash did hurt their brain a lot” the nurse explained calmly.

“Oh. So...are they gonna be fine?” Kim see Jiyong shaking hand before he hold Jiyong hand to give him some strength.

“We still unsure about that. I am sorry.”

“Oh no it is okay. We just want to know. So, it is not possible for us to meet them right?” Kim ask in behalf of Jiyong.

“Actually you can. There is an old man from the accident and he did not hurt that much. He also going to discharge next morning. But we advice you to not disturb the patient right now.”

“We just want to see him and then I will go back. Do not worry.” Jiyong assure the nurse. He really need to see the victim. The burden is too much.

“Ne. The patient room is 188.”

“Thank you so much” Jiyong bow slightly before run to search the said room.

Jiyong feel much better now after talking to uncle Kwang. He did not meant to wake that old man up but when he enter the room, he saw the old man coughing on his bed. So, Jiyong come to help.

Uncle Kwang said, everyone is fine but Jiyong know he is lying. How come everyone is fine when the person in front of him, the one that hurt the least having scratch all over his face and hand. Some are still red and some are purple. But jiyong did want to ask more. He just want to know that at least someone did survive even though he did not help them. For now, jiyong is relief and feel calm.

Another 5 chapters before bigbang story start. So, if you ask me what is this first 10 chapters...I will answer this is just characters introduction. Hehehe.

BTW, my babies are having a comeback. Can't wait!!! FYI...I am a proud ahgase aka baby bird aka IGOT7. I support them since their debut and I watch them since they are cute innocent idol till now they are manly aggressive idol and they all are younger than me so they are literally my babies. 

BIGBANG?? I know them because GOT7 admire big bang soo much which is why I just search about big bang then I am just hooked on their song especially Seungri In my world and If you. So I cannot really say I am VIP since I just know big bang because of their MADE series.(or can I??? maybe still a baby VIP) Overall, BIGBANG is indeed kings because of their talent and hard work.

I hope this confession will not cause fan war since haters are everywhere. For haters don't worry, I personally did not hope GOT7 to as famous as BIGBANG because I am possessive af fan. I don't like sharing my babies with too many people, our fandom is already having too many people so I just wish GOT7 and IGOT7 to grow slowly and enjoy the moment. I learn a lot about hard work and passion from both groups so I really hope to ALL HATERS stop hating and start learning.

Sorry for sharing this here, I am just too excited for their comeback.