At times, I realize I have long forgotten how it is like to truly & freely breathe…perhaps I have never had the chance to breathe freely. 

※ ※ ※

As you ran back to SPY Headquarters, you tried to ignore the fast thumping of your chest.  Subconsciously, you told yourself to run faster.  The numbness of your wrist was getting to you and you momentarily stopped to cringe.  A thick layer of dried blood caked all over your wound.  Guiltily, you bit your lips and began scratching off the mess.  Newly freed blood escaped, trickling down your lower arm.

“What are you doing?” a familiar voice spoke, angrily grabbing on your wrist to stop the bleeding.

You peered up with watery eyes.  A look of worry and pain spread across Chanyeol’s face as he brushed his hand against your cheek.

“What happened?” he asked, wrapping your wrist with a band to temporarily stop the bleeding.

You made no answer.  Chanyeol sighed but didn’t question you any further.  With his strong arms, he lifted you up bridal style.  Your head automatically rested against his chest.  Thump.  Thump.  You grimaced and kicked your legs childishly. 

“_______-ah?” Chanyeol questioned, confused.

You stared into his eyes contemplating whether to tell him the truth.  I am scared of hearing heartbeats.  You laughed.  The mighty _______ _______, killer of so many – afraid of a stupid “thumping” noise.  What a joke. 

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked again.

You nodded, changing the subject, “I want a piggyback ride.”

With an amused chuckle, he playfully ruffled your hair.  You pouted but it only made his smile grow wider.  Carefully, he placed you down on a nearby bench before getting on his knees.  With twinkling eyes, you got on his back. 

“Baby, you got heavy,” he joked.

You gaped, “What…did you say?”

“Nothing,” he replied laughing, but continued, “I love you.”

Quietly, you exhaled a prolong sigh but didn’t reply.  For the remaining walk toward the SPY Headquarters an awkward silence surrounded you two, bringing you back to the world of miserable thoughts. 

You kissed Luhan.  Why did you do it?  So stupid. 

“You’re choking me,” Chanyeol’s voice brought you back to reality.

“Oh, sorry,” you apologized after realizing you were practically jabbing his neck with the precious crystal that sat clutched in your hands. 

“What a pretty crystal…but you’re always the prettiest crystal I’ll ever know.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at his pick up line.  With a small smile, you leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

“Babe, stop moving or I’ll drop you.”

You huffed, a bit offended.

“Aw, I was just kidding, do it again,” he joked.

“Do what again?” you pouted.

“Kiss me,” he responded almost immediately.

“No,” you laughed and asked curiously, “What do you feel when you kiss me?  Um…does your heart beat really fast?”

“Mmhm,” he replied a little embarrassed.

You had rapid heart rate when you kissed Luhan.

When you arrived back at SPY Headquarters, you were ordered by Chanyeol to rest.  He had spoken to Leader, asking to give you a break from missions because of your wrist injury.  Sighing, you sat on your bed, boredom haunting your dreadful soul.  It had been nearly two weeks.  The darkness of your room only emphasized the loneliness.  Within minutes, you found yourself carried away to the cages of your melancholy thoughts.  You were confused.  A sour feeling tingled through your veins as you held your breath.  Carefully, you leaned over and opened your drawers.  You reached for a manila folder with a ghost of a smile.  As you opened it, you felt your heart beat quicken.  On the first page was a photo of Luhan. 

F