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I Swear I'm not A Stalker Fan. I just Love Him

“good night Mom!” Haze bid her mother a good night and strutted upstairs to her room. The only place she was safe to be herself.

Her room was her safe haven. Haze was your typical 18 year old girl in her last year of high school. But, she was different. How you ask? Her music taste was different and it changed her life. Changed for the better and for the worse.  She became a laughing stock at her school for liking gay people. But her life changed for her when she became strong. The music spoke to her soul and she matured.  She didn’t spare a second thought on being bullied  even when things got out of hand. she would usually go back home and listen to her type of music and calm herself down.

She listened to one band. And that band only for the past two years. Her kind of music was Kpop and her band was EXO.

She was a quiet girl at school and at home she was bubbly and very bright. She was antisocial but she had a lot of friends through the internet. And she was a proud owner of an Instagram account dedicated to her favourite band EXO. She didn’t mind not having friends around her. she had friends that she was proud to call her friends.

But there was one thing that made Haze depressed. She was in love. But the person she was in love was unreachable. She was in love with a star that was far up in the sky away from her reach.

She was in love with Sehun. The youngest member of the band EXO.

She loved him not as a fan but as a person loving a person. How did she come to it, she didn’t know. It has been 2 years since she fell in love and she hoped the feeling would fade away as time goes on, but she was wrong. The feelings only became stronger as each day passed and here she was hopelessly in love with an idol who was unaware of her or even her  feelings for him.

Haze sat in her bed snuggled into her covers with her laptop spread open in front of her. she was messaging with her best friend Becca. Becca has been her best friend for about 7 months now and haze couldn’t be thankful enough for Becca. While texting Becca, haze updated her IG account with a few photos of sehun and a caption. And then she went onto her real account and checked her DM out of habit. Ever since she started sending one single text everyday to Sehun through IG a few months back, she made it a must to check up on her DM every night in hopes of him at least seeing her texts.  Up to this day she was disappointed. But not today.

Haze let out a surprised scream and sat up in her bed while she stared at her phone screen. Right under  the last message to Sehun the small icon of an eye was shown, meaning that Sehun had viewed her messages.  She was surprised and yet embarrassed. The texts she sent were kind of sappy and romantic and cheesy and sometimes a bit depressed.

Instead of telling this to Becca she typed in another message to Sehun.


                                                you saw my texts. I don’t know whether to be happy or embarrassed. I guess I                                                  am a bit of both.  Good night Sehun.

This was her usual routine. She would leave him a good morning text as well as a text in the middle of the day and one at night. Knowing he won’t see them. But today the miracle happened and she didn’t know what to feel.

 

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Later at night in Seoul, Korea.  A certain Idol was laying in bed after filming for his new movie.  Sehun was tired but he didn’t forget to check his IG. He was an idol who loved his fans and their comments. So it was his usual routine to check on the new comments. But one thing he didn’t do was check his IG because the last time he did, he ended up seeing girls. That scared the young man.

But today he took a deep breath and checked his IG. He blindly scrolled through the hundreds of texts and opened one DM.  Haze_Garcia .  there were more than 80 texts and none of them were rude or unpolite. Sehun scrolled to the very first text and started reading.

Hi!
how are you Sehun? … wait, why am I even asking? You won’t ever see this. But oh well. Have a nice day!

 

Sehun silently chuckled at this text. He found this gesture cute.

Did you eat today? I hope you did, keep smiling sehun.
it’s my 16th month since I became an EXO fan and my 15th month since I chose you as my bias. Happy anniversary to me! yayyy…

A small laugh escaped Sehun. They had fans who were in the fandom longer than her but her texts made sehun feel happy and light. Which was weird.

I passed my exam!  So Mom bought me a huge poster of you. I’m so happy Sehun. I’ve waited for this a long time. You look handsome in the poster. I wish I could see you though. Sleep well my noodle boy.

Noodle boy? He knew his fans called him that, but nonetheless a small smile spread  across his lips. The next text was after 2 months which made sehun think why it took her long.

Sorry Sehunnie, i was busy working my summer job. But guess what???? I’M COMING TO SEE YOU IN AMERICA!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!! I saved up enough money to come and see you perform. Finally I get to see you sehun. You have no idea how happy i am. I love you sehun. You make me happy.

It felt weird to sehun. He had heard the word I love you in many languages but reading this made his stomach churn.

I’m all packed up to fly tonight! Eep. I will see you guys performing in less than two days. I won’t be able to check on you flying to dallas since I will also be flying… be safe hunnie. Always be safe. My happiness is you and always you.
I landed in America Sehun. I realized that this is dumb to keep texting you but I’m going to continue it anyway  because I am dumb.
OMG OMG OMG SEHUN I SAW YOU! I SAW YOU SO CLOSE TO ME. YOU WERE NEAR ME. YOU DANCED NEAR ME. THIS IS THE BEST DAY SEHUNNIE. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU MORE AND MORE SEHUN. THE CONCERT WAS PERFECT. YOU WERE PERFECT. I LOVE YOU SEHUN. SO SO SO MUCH,

Sehun felt happy, this girl had enjoyed the concert and he also felt happy because she said she loved him.

Sehun, I love you. not like a fan. But for real. I tried so hard to forget this feeling but I couldn’t. i love you. it hurts Sehun. But i love you.

Sehun felt his heart jump a bit. This fan loved him as in loved him for real. But the next text made sehun shiver. And just as he read it his phone died.

I don’t want to love you anymore Sehun. I need to let you go. You need to find happiness. Please go and find your happiness and always be happy because even if I let you go I will only be happy if you are too. I love you Sehun and always will.

Sehun wanted to say don’t let me go. And he felt weird knoing she was in pain because of him and he wanted to know if she still loved him. As he plugged his phone to the charger he thought of her. who is she? Haze Garcia. Who is this girl that made me feel like this? And he fell asleep thinking about this stranger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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so this is the first chapter guys, it is just a starter and if you guys are wondering, yes they will meet in the story. but if you want to see that please do comment on my story and upvote it. 

and if you guys have any ideas for one shots please do comment them down below and I will do my best to wrte it for you guys!

much love,
Keshi,,, x0x0

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