Six months after Namjoon met Jiyoon for the first time and we are still together. I still can’t believe it sometimes. I spent so many years putting off getting into a relationship, too afraid of what would happen if my partner found about Jiyoon. Namjoon and Jiyoon have had a few encounters since then, but Jiyoon managed to behave herself… for the most part. Even after nine months of being together it’s still hard for me to believe that we are together, even when he is aware of Jiyoon's existence. I also still can’t believe how smug Jungkook is about setting us up. You’d think he would have given up by now… smug little .

I was staying over at his place, happily curled up against his side as we slept. I dreamt that I was in a car, I was sitting in the backseat and for some reason I was really short. Everything looked really blurry, like my eyes were open underwater. I could see two people in the front seats of the car then suddenly there was the crunching sound of crushing metal, the sound of glass shattering. Then came the screaming, loud, horrible, screaming. And the pain…

It took me a full minute to realise that the screaming was my own as Namjoon shook me awake. “Sae Ron! Wake up! It’s ok!” I blinked my eyes, my ears ringing with the sound of my own scream. I sat bolt upright, sweat making my thin clothes stick to me. I kicked off the blanket as Namjoon smoothed my sweaty hair away from my face. I checked my body over for injuries, I could still feel the phantom pain from my nightmare. “Babe, its ok. It was just a dream. You're safe.” My breaths came out in ragged pants as Namjoon held my hand in his, my hair in an attempt to calm me.

I collapsed against him and he wrapped his arms around me, whispering soothing words to me as he rocked me back and forth. “Everything’s going to be ok. Everything’s fine.” He repeated over and over again as he pressed kisses to the top of my head. I stayed in his arms until sleep claimed me once more. For the rest of the night my dreams were filled with bright lights and the sound of crunching metal and shattering glass. When I opened my eyes, Namjoon was lying beside me, his head propped up as he rubbed my arm which was wrapped around his waist. “What time is it?” I mumbled. “It’s still early, you should try to sleep some more. You’ve been tossing and turning all night.”

I looked up at him guiltily, he had dark circles under his eyes. “I’m sorry, you haven’t slept have you?” I said as I tried to sit up but he just pulled me against his chest and laid us back down. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” He said as he rubbed my back, his strong arms keeping me close to him. I laid awake in his arms, purposely slowing my breathing so that he would think I was asleep. Eventually I heard his breathing even out and I peeked up to see that he was finally asleep. I pecked him on the lips before trying to wriggle out his grasp to let him sleep since I’m sure I won't be able to sleep anymore but he just tightened his grip around me, mumbling “don’t go”. I smiled at his cute gesture and snuggled back into him. I guess there's nothing wrong with snuggling. I lay in his arms, the images from my dream flashing before my eyes, making me feel uneasy.

The dreams continued over the following weeks. Barely a night went by when I didn’t wake up screaming, the sound of glass and crunching metal following me into consciousness. I had been at a café a few days ago and someone knocked over a glass, the sound of it shattering against the ground had set off a panic attack. Jungkook had almost had a heart attack as he tried to calm me down. I knew that my dreams were worrying Namjoon. He was staying with me almost every night, even though I protested. I knew that he was suffering from the lack of sleep. But even when I told him I would be ok, he would still turn up at my door to keep me company, saying that he wouldn’t be able to sleep in case I woke up alone.

Every time I woke up screaming, he would hold me close and tell me everything was going to be ok until I calmed down enough to try to sleep again. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I would only have the dream once a night and would be able to get some sleep afterwards. The worst night I had the same dream three times in a row. In the end I had let Namjoon fall back asleep and managed to wriggle out of his grasp and sat in the living room with the volume down low. He complained to me the next morning when he woke up alone and saw how tired I was. I couldn’t help but feel guilty because of the dark circles under his eyes, but he's just as stubborn as I am, so he continued coming over every night.

A few weeks after the dreams started, Namjoon called me out of the blue. I had just finished a lecture when he called. “Hey Joonie, what’s up?” I asked as I made my way off campus. “Hey babe. I think I’ve worked it out.” He said, sounding excited. “Worked what out?” I asked as I dodged out the way of a guy on a moped. “Your dreams. I don’t think they're dreams.” I frowned, “If they're not dreams, then what are they?”

“Memories. I think they might be the memories of the accident that caused Jiyoon to appear.” I stopped walking in the middle of the pavement, a couple of people colliding with me, giving me dirty looks as they walked around me. “Babe, you still there?” he asked worriedly. “Y-yeah. I’m still here.” I said as I forced my legs to start moving again. My mind started racing at the possibilities. “I think that you must have been involved in a car accident and survived, but because you were so young, your mind couldn’t cope with it so it repressed the memories. That’s probably why you have Jiyoon. She’s there to protect you.” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “Then why are my memories suddenly coming back to me?” I asked as I headed into the bookshop, waving to Jungkook who was balanced at the top of the ladders, filling the top shelves.

I went into the breakroom and dumped my bag as I listened to Namjoon's theory. “There's a lot of controversy around repressed memories.” He said and I could hear him flicking through the pages of a book or notebook. “It’s possible that something triggered the dreams, or it could just be that your mind has decided that you're ready to cope with the memories.” I started biting my bottom lip. “What if I’m not ready? What if I can’t cope?” I asked quietly. I heard his tone soften as he replied. “You won't be going through this alone. I’ll be there for you, every step of the way. We’ll get through this, together.”