One
☀ the freedom season i met a friend

Summer.

What first comes to your mind when you think of summer? Is it the beach? Perhaps, the merry tinkle of ice cream trucks as it passes by? For me, it means freedom. To finally be free from school and people.

It was not that I did not do well in school, it was just that I hated following the rules.

So, when the last school bell rang, I immediately knew what I was going to do. I would get out from the horrible school uniform (god, I hated it so much) and lay down on my bed, enjoying the first few hours before Freedom Season.

It was what I really did.

On the first day of summer in 1987, I walked around the house with only my pants on. I was waiting for the water to boil when my mom walked in on me bobbing my head to the latest mainstream song that was playing on the radio.

She had a few envelopes on her hand, and stopped to stare at me .

“Seungkwan?”

“Mm?”

“Put some clothes on.”

“I will, mom.”

She sat down at the small wooden table. Our family was not rich, but we were not poor either. Although the table was painted horribly, I loved it because my dad was the one who build it. It was probably the only thing that was left of dad in our single storey house. Mainly because mom thought it would be a hassle to waste money to buy a new table.

My dad died a few months after I was born, which meant I never really have a male role model at home. Having all women in the house never really mattered to me, but it was how the kids in school see it. I was often teased for being the only boy in the house. Not that I mind, honestly. But sometimes, the teasing can get severe.

I got a few detentions because of it. I got into a few fights. I knew mom was disappointed when she got a call from the school’s counselor — but no one really knew why I chose to speak with my fists.

“Why did you do it?”

Mom was angry, I could tell by how her grip on the steering wheel was tightening and how she was so focused on the road that she did not even bother to spare a glance at me.

I shrugged as I wrapped my arms. My knuckles hurt but it was worth it. Heck, I was satisfied. I was not proud with what I did, I really was not, but I would be lying if I say I did not feel satisfaction.

“Seungkwan.” Her voice was stern.

I knew I should just tell her but I cannot bring myself to say it. Somehow, I did not want her to know that I was defending her and my sisters.

“I just feel like it, mom.” It was partially true.

“That’s not how it works.”

“But it’s how it works with me.”

Mom was so infuriated that she did not talk or look at me for the whole day. But knowing my mom, she pretended like it did not happen the next day. And I was thankful to that or else I would not be having breakfast.

“What are you doing later, Seungkwan?” she asked as she opened the letters one by one.

The kettle made a sound, indicating that the water was already completely boiled. I shrugged as I lifted the kettle, pouring the hot water into the green cup. I watched carefully as the water slowly turned black, as the tea was steeping. 

“Would you mind helping me prepare snacks and teas for my reading club later?”

She was saying it as if it was every boy’s dream to help their moms prepare food for their friends. I took a sip of my tea and looked at her.

“I have plans, mom.”

I would rather stay at home and do nothing because that was how my life worked – there was nothing for me to do. Sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sometimes the toilet, and then sleep and eat and repeat. Not to mention that I did not have any friends.

I must be the most boring fifteen year old in the whole world.

Mom looked up from her letters and cocked her eyebrow at me. Yeah mom, I wanted to say, I am surprised too.

I did not have plans. I just did not want to stay home with a lot of elderly ladies around me, asking me about girls and cooing about handsome I have become. Some of them still treated me as a child, pinching my cheeks and asking me to pour tea to their cup every time they need a refill.

I decided that I did not want to do any of those things this summer.

“Really?”

I took another sip before nodding. “Really.”

“With who?”

Uh-oh. Here comes The Interview.

“A few friends.”

“Where?”

“Pool.”

She stared at me and I stared back. I did not know, but maybe it was a  mom thing to ask questions and then stare at their kid just to break their shells. Luckily, I was a pretty good liar and also, a pretty good starer. 

As soon as she tore her gaze from me, I knew I won. I knew she did not believe it, but I also happened to knew that she would not want me to stay in the house forever.

“Okay then. They’re gonna miss you. Say hi to them before you go, will you?”

“I will.”

☀

There was nothing more pathetic than a lonely fifteen year old sitting at the edge of the pool. The town pool was not packed, and I decided that I did not want to swim. Mainly because I at it. I decided that the least I could do was to get myself soaked just to prove that I was doing something here.

I did not want to go up dry, it will make me look even more depressing.

So, I stood in the middle of the pool, pretending that I could swim when