I wasn’t born with it… I don’t even know how I developed it. I was a quiet baby, my mum told me all of my childhood stories about how I hardly ever cried when I was a baby, I would sleep through the night, I was well behaved in school, I was quiet during college, even at work I’m… quiet.

That’s it, that’s the word. Quiet.

I don’t have any speech problems or anything like that however, I do suffer from anxiety pretty badly. I was diagnosed at 17 years old after I kept stuttering when I tried to say hello to my friend, Seojoon and no, it wasn’t because I was nervous, I can’t even talk to my family either. I’m 23 years old now and to be honest, it’s even worse now. I don’t go out of my way to talk to anybody anymore. I do I do have my small circle of friends, they do try to help me talk more but it’s not possible and they have tried everything. My boyfriend has been an absolute diamond. He knows how to put up with my anxiety and lack of speech but I do feel sorry for him because he’s the one that has to put up with it, besides my family. My phone was ringing. NCT 127’s song Fire truck. That’s none other than my closest and loudest friend Hiro. He does forget that I can’t take loud voices but that’s who he is so I don’t remind him all the time.

“ANILA LEE! Hands up who’s ringing your phone now!” Hiro shouted.

“H-H-Hey Hiro. You keep forgetting” I slightly stuttered.

“Oh I’m sorry, must be that soju hitting me from last night. Guess who is back in town?”

“who is it?”

“Your future boyfriend. Seojoon!”

“I’ve t-told you again and again Hiro, he’s only a mate you know. I really like Ryohyun, he understands my needs. He’s perfect for me”

“Urgh! So you say with your few words. Anyway, I’m gonna go see him at the airport, you coming?

“Sorry, I don’t feel up to it. I m-might… *sighs* sorry for my stuttering again. I might see you later, I have some things to prepare for work. Let’s all meet for lunch.”

“No probs girl, I’ll call Seojoon now”