Mark Yi En Tuan knew Jackson the best. Jackson had attracted his attention since day one, reacting in certain situations like no other human being that he knew. Over the years, Mark had studied him like an enigma, trying to solve layer after layer by using an algorithm and if one didn’t work, he would apply another formula till the decryption was complete. Mark loved puzzles since he was a child and he was good at them, they became his secret area of expertise. At school, he may have been known as the lively Taiwanese guy who loved basketball and cycling, but he was also the only one who liked maths and solved a Rubik’s Cube under five minutes, two, if he paid attention to it. It was only after he came to Korea that he became shy and he was surprised at how many people thought he was stupid just because he didn’t speak the language. When he lived in Brazil, he learned Portuguese, when he lived in Paraguay, he learned Spanish, when he lived in the States, he learned English so, it was just a question of time as to when he learned Korean. Eventually, he learned the language, but he was never one to correct the people’s misinformation, using their underestimation of him to his advantage or forgiving and forgetting it, because he was good at heart. He had his difficulties, scared he might mix the languages, might make grammatical mistakes, make people misunderstand him gravely, but even when he was over that phase, he preferred to stay quiet. “It’s easier to act stupid than it is for someone dumb to act smart.” Jackson, who never underestimated him, once told him. Jackson practiced and lived this sentence, despite being one of the smartest people that Mark knew. This was also the reason, why the decryption of Jackson was never complete and Mark’s interest in his person never decreased. However, his long-lasting studies had provided him with solutions to some layers of the enigma. Mark could make out certain characteristics. Sometimes, Jackson became predictable.

Everybody knew about Jackson that he was loud, but Mark was the one who knew how to silence him. This was one major kind of knowledge that different solutions led him to. Occasionally, it worked with just a look, a deep frown that stopped Jackson immediately from spitting further nonsense when he went wild, even apologising afterwards because Jackson knew he did something displeasing. In secret, Mark found it so adorable that he couldn’t hold a serious demeanour for too long. More often, it was an intimate touch, a squeeze to his thigh that interrupted Jackson’s speech in the middle or diverted it to a complete other direction he intended it to go because he was too distracted, regardless of whether the squeezing hand was placed close to a sensitive area unintentionally or intentionally. In secret, it was. Jackson had presented him with this revelation himself, each time touching Mark on a different spot on his legs till it felt natural like a second skin all over and didn’t slow down anything within Mark’s existence, not to mention his heart. What Mark marvelled at though, was, that Jackson never prevented such an ambivalent action. In contrast to all the other members, Jackson even encouraged the harshest squeezes with the softest kind of to the back of Mark’s hand, as if to annihilate the rough energy. Mark got so used to it that once he did it to the other members without realising it and didn’t get the responding touch, he was so surprised by the complaint he got instead that he jumped up and apologised formally, as if he weren’t the oldest. At other times, a stern word was enough and Jackson would listen to him, because he was one of the few people that Jackson would listen to at all. He didn’t know why but he supposed Jackson simply didn’t want to disappoint him and cherished his opinion, or maybe he just wanted to set a good example for Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom to show them how to respect the oldest. Respect for elders was very important to Jackson and it had something to do with his conservative and disciplined upbringing. In secret, Mark admired that trait in him. It could also be a slow burning joke that Mark would come up with in five seconds but that left Jackson speechless because he needed twice the time to think it over and understand its punchline. Jackson would complain that he found it lame, despite grinning like an idiot and retelling the joke a thousand times to everybody who was interested and not, because, in secret, they shared the same sense of humour. The way to silence Jackson that he was really proud of, was his method to silence Jackson’s thoughts. Jackson was a speaker for life; he spit words in long and extravagant sentences, sometimes short and witty, sometimes sharp like a knife, sometimes sweetened for compliments, sometimes clumsy and jumbled up, sometimes in other languages, sometimes he rapped them, but most of the time he used them in a funny context. So, when Jackson didn’t talk for a long period, it was right to presume that he was not okay. Usually, Mark was quick to catch on, reading off Jackson’s face, what was wrong; whether he was angry, displeased, hurt and by whom, or even sick, things Mark learned by decrypting him. His eyebrows rising, in between having a frown, his nose scrunching up and his lower lip enveloping the upper in a big pout meant Jackson was mad at the whole world and so saddened by it that he didn’t know how to deal with it. This would be a moment Mark would have to silence his thoughts and it worked with a firm grip on his nape, searching his eyes with a direct stare to tell him that Mark had his back no matter what. Jackson would deflate instantly, frown disappearing, shoulders sagging and body getting small to nestle up against Mark’s for a consoling touch. Jackson was a er for bodily comfort, like a flower in the desert for water to save it up for later draughts, when it was needed the most. Those moments for Jackson were, when his insecurities were eating him up, sometimes in the middle of the night, or when he was exhausted to the bone. Jackson liked the touch to the back of his neck so much, that he copied the action a lot by returning the favour to Mark as well as to the other members. It was to the point that he could tell them apart by their nape forms alone, although, he did it at more random than crucial times. Superficially, Mark was not perturbed by it. In secret, instantaneous jealousy gripped him below his navel and rose up his chest in a brewing storm only to be replaced by a rupturing wound of guilt every time he remembered, they were also his members.

When Mark and Jackson returned from the restaurant to have the most emotionally revealing talk on their dormitory couch, was one of those moments, in which Jackson looked so exhausted that he needed his thoughts to be silenced.

“But for some reason, I can’t seem to fall asleep,” Jackson said.

Mark felt guilty and selfish for keeping the tired Jackson awake for so long, but the nape-grip did only that much. He needed help to make him fall asleep. He pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket and started to type.

“V… how do I make my members fall asleep?” He wrote.

Jackson looked at him sideways in suspicion. “What are you doing?”

Mark looked at him with a smile on his face. “Nothing,” he said.

Mark’s phone vibrated, his smile getting wider and his cheeks darker.

“Hey, Hyung! This is about Jackson-hyung again, isn’t it?” Started the message. It was always about Jackson when he exchanged his concerns with V, his Overwatch-buddy from another group who would write and answer to him no matter what time, which he greatly appreciated. “J-Hope-hyung absolutely loves it when I the hair on the back of his head. He sleeps within minutes. I hope that helps. :)”

Hair-, how could he forget that? He knew its calming effects, had done it to s a million times, even when unconsciously. While he liked to pet Jinyoung, Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom’s hair, he Jaebum’s back of head, because he saw how the tension lines on his heavy shoulders always disappeared and he Jackson’s hair as a show of affection and reciprocation, because… because Jackson had always done it to him first. How could he only realise it so late? How could he forget that Jackson had started it?

When Jackson didn’t stop glaring at him, he buried one of his hands in Jackson’s hair on the back of his head, starting to it languidly.

Jackson’s eyelids fell close on reflex, he seemed to enjoy it. “You’re obviously lying, but if you keep doing this, then I’ll excuse your rude behaviour.”

Yes, Jackson enjoyed it. Mark laughed, hope bubbling up his chest. “Jackson, are you the one who’s, by any chance, jealous?”

Jackson became stiff. “No, of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Of course,” repeated Mark.

“Stop smirking.” He panicked, how did Jackson see right through him without looking? Was he the one becoming predictable?

“How do you know? Your eyes are closed.”

“I can hear it.”

“No, you can’t.”

Mark’s hand went down from Jackson’s hair to his back of neck and started massaging his stiff knots.

Mark used a combination of hair- and nape-gripping, trying to accelerate the process and was pleasantly surprised to see pure relaxation forming on Jackson’s face. Jackson even looked, as if he would groan, if Mark applied that little bit more sensuality into the pressure of his fingers, which Mark tried, elated at the chance to solve yet another layer of his enigma. Jackson opened his mouth and-

“Hey, Mark, do you want to see a funny video?”

Ruined it. He had been dropping hints about his intentions with Jackson all throughout the night. Why else would he tell Jackson that the guy Jaebum dated or wanted to date wasn’t him? He was frustrated. How on earth. Could a human being. Think of funny videos. At. Such. A. Moment?

He played it cool and listened, like he always did. Maybe, his approach was wrong, maybe, he needed another algorithm for this layer.

“Again?”

“It’s a new one, I swear it’s funny this time. It’s about a Japanese guy, who-” Jackson moaned, but it was a tired moan, “sings about apples, a pen and pineapples.”

“That’s it? What’s so funny about that?”

“He’s wearing leopard-prints.”

“Oh, my goodness.”

“You don’t understand, Mark, leopard-prints! That makes it funnier because he was dancing in them.”

Just one day, just one day Mark wanted insight into that cryptic brain of his.

“Jackson.”

“What?”

“Shut up and sleep.”

Jackson listened to him, as the good boy he was, but Mark feared it had more to do with his massaging hand on the back of Jackson’s neck. Carefully, he pulled his hand away and let Jackson’s head fall back against the couch-rest as he started to drift off.

His face was the perfect picture of peace, Mark stared at it for minutes. Only the vibration of his phone made him tear his eyes away.

“Hyung, did it work?”

“Yeah, thank you, Tae. :)” He typed.

“Awesome! Good night, hyung!”

“Good night. Don’t stay up too late playing Overwatch.”

“I won’t, kekeke”

“Yeah, right, kekeke”

“Hyung, do you wanna play a game? See you online, kekekekeke”

“Kekekekekekeke”

He put his phone away and stared back at Jackson’s form, pity nagging at him. What was he supposed to do with him? He could carry Jackson to his new bedroom with Jaebum but Jackson’s bed was the top-bunkbed there, which seemed impossible to reach. Besides, it didn’t seem right to put him into that room. There was always a little bit of secret jealousy of his new roommate, who had Jackson and his nightly routines all to himself now. Sure, some were annoying, but they were also the first puzzle pieces that Jackson had handed to him on a silver platter and which he had put together to store them inside his heart so many years ago. It also left a bitter taste in his mouth to listen to Jackson and Jaebum cuddling up together behind the bedroom door that one night before Jackson left for China.

He could carry Jackson to their old bedroom with the Markson sign adorning the door but he knew without looking that it was chaotic inside and too dangerous, he would let Jackson only fall by accident.

He decided to let him sleep on the couch and stood up to get him a blanket and pillow from their old bedroom. With giddiness settling in his stomach, he pulled out his own old set of blanket and pillow under a pile of clothes instead of Jackson’s, because the thought of Jackson waking up in his set gave him a possessive sense of belonging. Walking back to Jackson, he prepared the pillow before bringing Jackson’s form down to a lying position, smoothing out the short black hair falling on his forehead. Jackson’s body was heavy because he was all toned muscles but not too heavy that Mark couldn’t handle it. Jackson gave tiny displeased sounds when Mark took off his socks and placed his legs under the blanket, Mark had totally forgotten that Jackson did that from time to time. He left a sentimental kiss on Jackson’s cheek, during which Jackson stopped the sounds and opened half-lidded eyes, making Mark freeze in terror, but it was only brief and he fell asleep for good. Mark sighed and switched the lamp off, leaving the living room for his own shared bedroom with Youngjae.

At first, it was a mystery to Mark, how Jackson could still not know, what Mark felt about him. He made it so painfully obvious with the way he warmly gazed at him and only at him for long minutes, for everybody to notice, for Jackson to notice. How could Jackson not notice? After everything they had been through together, the hard training period, the mutual interest in rapping and martial arts and the classes for it, the joint late-night trips to the outskirts of Seoul and travelling to their home countries, the same languages they spoke and cultures they shared by a chance of one in a million or more, because their fates had to play together for him to travel from L.A. and for Jackson to travel from Hong Kong to meet in Seoul on that rainy night of July 3rd, 2011. After the many promotional periods, the comeback preparations and the rare rests in between, the concerts, world-tours, the shows, the Markson shows, goodness, how could he not know after the Markson shows, after breaking the set with their fierce hugging, when they had stuck together like glue for months?

Mark had almost cried with joy, covered up by laughter, when Jackson had presented him with an expensive gold necklace on his birthday, thinking it had a cheesy connotation to the 2AM song that he had always sung as a trainee with lyrics such as, “I want to buy you a pretty necklace, but all I have to give is nothing but this song.” Back then, it had been true, they could had afforded nothing as the poor trainees they had been. But later, it had carried so much meaning and let Mark almost, almost think that Jackson had known. However, several days had passed and Jackson had bought Youngjae an expensive necklace on his birthday, too, making Mark detach any emotional value from his own gift, because, after all, he had been just another member and he had gotten the same present that Jackson would buy and had bought for any other member. Jackson had made it clear that he loved them all equally. No matter how much Mark had silently wished for special treatment, he hadn’t gotten it, though, he had been willing to give it.

How could Jackson not know after the very expensive Chrome Hearts couple bracelets gift from Mark? It was the thing he had bought with the first big salary that he had gotten and it had been such a cliché move to mark a relationship so, how could Jackson not know?

The answer was simple and connected to Mark’s second major kind of knowledge about the enigma Jackson. Regardless of how smart Jackson was, Mark knew that Jackson was the most oblivious member. So, it didn’t surprise him that the one-time Jackson thought he figured out the whole world, he was completely wrong.

“Then explain me this. How come I see how everybody is in love with you but you don’t?” Jackson said.

Mark laughed, rubbing at his tired eyes.

What did this mean? Was Jackson included in the word, “everybody?” The thought that Jackson could be indirectly confessing made it impossible to breathe. That is why he had to ask, “what do you mean with everybody?”

“Everybody means everybody. Despite the waitress, -”

“Shut up,” he said, frustrated at how Jackson couldn’t see that the waitress was smitten with him.

“Every lady we come across,” continued Jackson, “all the fans, and -”

“And?” asked Mark, staring at Jackson as he put his hands on Jackson’s wrists to hold them in place, hoping against all hope.

“And every member.”

Mark took a pause, he needed time to think. What did this mean? Was this the indirect confession that he longed for? It couldn’t be, because it wasn’t true. It was just an assumption that Jackson’s cryptic brain came up with. Mark knew it was a crazy assumption, because Jackson didn’t state facts to prove it and, most important of all, he was tired. Mark also knew it wasn’t true because he knew none of the other members were in love with him. Therefore, the words, “every member,” were false and Jackson couldn’t be confessing, either. He probably wasn’t even aware of the possibility of his name being included in the words, “every member.” Mark came to one logical conclusion. Jackson was mistaken.

“That’s not true,” he stated.

“You’re completely off your mind again because you’re too tired,” he stated.

Jackson agreed.

Mark laughed, rethinking.

“Then explain me this. How come I see how everybody is in love with you but you don’t?” Jackson said and he was so gravely wrong.

Mark continued laughing at the irony, because it wasn’t Mark who everybody was in love with. It was Jackson.

Mark had always known that he wasn’t the only one fascinated by Jackson. Jackson had a gravitational pull, because he was a shining star, whose bright light could be suppressed by nothing, once it lit up the sky. It was the same pull and warmth of light that attracted the attention of millions of fans like moths and with whom Mark shared Jackson reluctantly, because he knew better than anyone else that Jackson deserved it after all the struggles, giving up the prestigious scholarship and fencing career for his dream.

The people in their immediate surroundings were the ones that Mark felt threatened by and who made jealousy flood his being in pangs, after which guilt gnawed at his conscience every time. They were people from their staff and management, stylists, private friends, friends from other groups and their own members.

They were also strangers they would come across daily, like the waitress that they met tonight.

Mark saw the affection in their eyes, which shone brightly by the reflection of Jackson’s radiating light and Mark knew, what it was, for he recognised their warm gazes being mirrors of his own.

“How much?” Mark asked the waitress, who looked at Jackson so, he also turned to Jackson to rub his back, placing his hand there possessively.

“Sixty thousand Won,” said the waitress.

He let go of Jackson to open his wallet and pick out some notes, when he felt Jackson leaving his side to walk out, letting a fresh breeze in through the open door before it closed again. He turned his head to see what Jackson was doing and noticed in his periphery that the waitress did the same. Jackson lifted his head up to the sky, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, basking in moonlight, as if it was the secret to all beautiful creatures. He looked like a modern version of a surrealistic picture by Van Gogh – Starry Night with Jackson Wang.

“Pretty,” said the waitress, taking the word out of his mouth.

He stared at her before remembering that he had yet to hand her the notes. Her eyes shone in Jackson’s direction.

“Yeah,” he agreed, giving her the money by bumping her hand to regain her attention.

“Are you guys dating?”

He choked on a cough. “No,” he admitted after a while. “We’re members.”

“Sweet,” she said and handed him the bill. “Could you give this to him? You’d do me a great favour.”

He was confused, why he should give Jackson his bill, but then he saw that she had written her number on it. He saw red. “Sure,” he said. “Good bye,” he said and left without giving her a tip.

Once he was outside the door, he tore the paper in his hands into pieces and threw them into the closest trash bin before disturbing Jackson in his picturesque moment.

He was so mad that he pinched Jackson on his biceps, which made his eyes fly open, as if he woke up from a trance. “Stop looking pretty and let’s go,” he said.

“Mark, I’m ing tired,” said Jackson a second time that night, looking innocent, oblivious and Mark felt like such an idiot. “I’m too tired to understand, what the you just said.” Evidently, he didn’t, because he was truly tired.

Mark suppressed the urge to take Jackson’s face into his hands and kiss him in apology, he put one of them on the small of Jackson’s back instead, guiding him down the street on the way back to their dorm. “I just said, let’s go home.”

Later, when they were seated on their living room couch and Mark threw an arm over the quiet Jackson’s shoulder, he brooded over it again. Didn’t Jackson throw an awful lot of glances in her direction, too? Did Mark miss something important? Did they flirt the whole night, while he was blind to it? He just had to check to make sure. It seemed so ridiculous. “Hey, Jackson.”

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to hear something funny?”

Jackson sighed. “Go ahead.”

“Guess who couldn’t keep their eyes off the waitress this whole night?”

Jackson looked annoyed, he didn’t seem to find it funny. “You?”

What? Where did this come from?

“No, you, Jackson. Isn’t it funny? I thought you wanted...” to spend the night with me, flirt with me, hook up with me, provided his brain. He bit into his lip.

Jackson turned his head so fast that it looked painful. “Wait, me? Are you kidding me? I was looking at her because she was going nuts for you and you didn’t even spare the poor thing a look!”

Warmth spread from his centre all throughout his body to his hairline and fingertips, he was embarrassed. Of course, Jackson didn’t flirt with her behind his back. Jackson was a gentleman, who had even pity for her. But the fact that Jackson was so oblivious to her advances and so wrong about her target concerned him so much that he couldn’t be happy about Jackson thinking he would attract people more. It showed of low self-esteem, which he reprimanded Jackson for.

The next thing he knew, Jackson called her pretty and he insulted Jackson’s observational skills in a bout of jealousy that Jackson got so mad by, he climbed on Mark’s lap, stirring up things that Mark was too embarrassed about to admit.

“So, you’re saying I don’t have eyes? So, you’re saying I don’t have observational skills? Then, how come that I can clearly see how you’re acting like a jealous boyfriend?” He believed Jackson to have that moment of clarity, for Jackson had never been closer to the truth than at this point, making him think that Jackson always knew but acted like he didn’t. It was, as if he was the mastermind who decrypted Mark before it was the other way around.

“It’s easier to act stupid than it is for someone dumb to act smart,” he remembered Jackson saying and it scared every fibre in his body.

His lips trembled. “What? What?”

“You threw her number away!”

He tried to come up with a quick excuse, he knew it was the lamest one as he spoke. “That’s because… she didn’t want to give it to me. I was mad because she liked you more.”

“Okay,” said Jackson, breathing hard. “Okay, that may be, even though I don’t believe it,” said Jackson, but he looked doubtful nonetheless. With his next breath, he verbalised his crazy assumption, assuring Mark that his moment of clarity was short-lived. “Then explain me this. How come I see how everybody is in love with you but you don’t?” No, Jackson didn’t always know, he didn’t act, either.

Mark laughed. His fear turned out to be baseless but he became aware of two things at once; that he gained more time to solve the enigma Jackson and that he had an actual time limit. The limiting factors were, that he didn’t want Jackson to figure him out earlier, despite dropping the many hints, and that he had to figure out Jackson before anyone else did, preferably as the only one, too.

He thought Jackson had figured him out on different occasions. One was, when they roomed together and Mark left their bedroom some day without ever returning.

“Please, how many times do I have to tell you it was because of the insects!” He told Jackson. The fact, that Jackson repeatedly questioned him why, showed he doubted it was the whole truth. “It’s your endless stuff that’s lying around everywhere,” he would say then, even though Jackson’s doubt was absolutely justified. The whole truth was, he didn’t trust himself to be left alone with Jackson anymore. He feared the constant urge to touch Jackson, kiss Jackson, would drive him insane. Losing self-control was a problem he wanted to avoid, it tampered with his ability to think straight. So, he left.

Another occasion was, when he wanted to call Jackson and Jinyoung out for a meal but saw them through the glass-door in a compromising position on Jinyoung’s bed. He shoved the door to Jinyoung’s bedroom open by force, stepped in and glared at Jackson’s hands on Jinyoung’s hips. He destroyed a barricade of plush toys on his way, of which he was a hundred percent sure was Jackson’s ingenious idea to keep someone out. He didn’t care about destroying the barricade or them wanting to keep him out, he cared about why it was necessary. He had always been proud of being the one who knew Jackson the best, Jackson confided all his secrets and sorrows to him, after all. He wondered, since when Jinyoung was the one who Jackson shared secrets with. He must have been a sight, with jealousy pulsing through his system. Not knowing how, he managed to ask in a calm voice, what the matter was. Jinyoung’s response was quick, he called him rude for not knocking and said they were just having a “heart to heart between friends,” which only made him more jealous. Jinyoung wasn’t one to keep secrets from him, either.

“Wow, that really bothered you, didn’t it?” Jackson told him, when he approached Jackson about it.

He felt his face going red, right to the tips of his ears, from being emotionally stripped. “Nope,” he said. But he was curious so, he approached Jackson again, cornering him against the doorframe to their old bedroom. “Tell me what you and Jinyoung talked about earlier.”

Jackson looked disappointed. “That’s it? That’s what you want to know?”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Well, we snogged.”

His heart missed a beat. He hoped this wasn’t true. This couldn’t be true. He didn’t see them kissing through the glass-door. Did Jackson figure him out? Was this, why Jackson was messing with him? He got furious. “You did not!”

“How do you know? The door was closed for a reason.”

“You do realise that Jinyoung’s door is see-through, right?”

“So, you admit that you were peeping? Good thing that I put up a barricade.”

A heavy weight was lifted off his chest, elating his heart at Jackson’s indirect admission that they, indeed, did not snog. He was still mad, though. Especially, when Jackson tried to divert from the topic with a whole discussion about the plush toys.

“What did you two talk about? Try not to divert from the topic this time.”

Jackson deflected again, he had a talent for it.

“Jackson.”

“I can’t tell you.” He couldn’t tell? What was there that he couldn’t tell Mark anymore?

“Why?”

“Why does it bother you so much? Since when do you care about Jinyoung so much that you two can’t keep a secret from each other?”

This was the part that opened his eyes and let him know that Jackson didn’t figure him out yet at all. Jackson was just as bothered at the closeness between him and Jinyoung as he was at the closeness between Jinyoung and Jackson. It dissipated his fury. He became soft.

“It’s not that.” He hesitated as he bit into his lips and pondered, how much of the truth he should let slip.

“Then what?”

“It’s just that… you never keep secrets from me,” he said honestly, hoping he would get honesty in return.

It left an impact on Jackson; his jaw dropped slightly as he inhaled sharply and took his time. Mark saw the wheels spinning inside Jackson’s head. Either the enigma was being decrypted, or Jackson tried to encrypt it further defensively. “What are you talking about? I have a lot of secrets. I’m a mysterious man.”

He knew Jackson tried to be funny while sidestepping a serious response, Jackson always did. But how did Jackson, so precisely, hit the nail on its head? Jackson was the mystery he wanted to solve, but thinking how Jackson became predictable to him, Jackson’s face an open book for him to read, he gave Jackson a sceptic look. “No, you’re not.”

Jackson shoved him away, his touch burning on Mark’s chest for a long time. “I do have my secrets. You’d be surprised,” Jackson said in a higher voice, as if the touch had affected him just as much.

Mark had to grin. “Keep telling that yourself.”

He also thought Jackson had figured him out after he started nicking Jackson’s shampoo and Jackson gradually noticed it. Jackson didn’t really complain, but from then on, he had to ask Jackson for it, which wasn’t easy, since Jackson ignored him and made him ask for it in three languages before he gave in. Jackson always gave the impression he knew the reason behind Mark nicking his shampoo, particularly when he leaned in, sniffed at Mark and commented on his scent, letting Mark’s heart flutter. The reason was simple, he wanted to smell like Jackson. Jackson wasn’t permanently present; he went away on his business trips to China and there were times his absence left behind a striking hole in Mark’s daily routine, never knowing when Jackson would go next or when he would return. Using his shampoo gave Mark a sense of Jackson still being around somehow, the scent a little comfort when Mark missed him, surprising Mark in waves when wind tousled up his hair or he ran his fingers through it. Jackson didn’t know the reason, though. He gave away that much, when he caught Mark in the act of stealing and complained about it for the first time.

“Were you searching for this?”

Mark’s eyes became wide as saucers and the redness of his ears flooded his face when he looked at Jackson, body frozen on the spot.

“Really, when are you going to get yourself a bottle of shampoo?” So, Jackson just thought that he was too lazy to buy himself another bottle, when a lavender scented shampoo bottle he only used while abroad rested perfectly fine in his sponge bag.

“I’m sorry, Ga Ga. This is the last time, I swear-”

Jackson looked at him with pity and threw the bottle at him, being too generous for his own good. Mark unfroze to catch it, careful not to let his towel drop, which would raise his embarrassment right to another level. He felt already vulnerable as it was, with his skinny body in front of the member with the best toned muscles. He had started training for this reason and increased his protein-intake, but the results didn’t show as quickly as he wanted them to. Although, they did seem to attract Jackson’s attention a little.

“And is it really so hard to collect your clothes before entering the shower? Stop flaunting your perfect body,” Jackson said, eyes low on his bag, as if he hadn’t seen Mark’s body, as if he had seen a different, flawless version.

“’M not perfect,” was the cheap response his mind could come up with as his voice took up a shy notch.

Every time he felt lacking in any aspect, without ever sharing those thoughts, Jackson complimented him like a mind-reader, he managed to do that a lot. He did it with the other members, too, showering them with compliments to boost their self-esteem, especially before concerts, when they were all a nervous mess. This was another action he picked up from Jackson, giving him compliments, because he knew, deep down Jackson had his own insecurities. Mark gave them at rarer times, but he had a feeling they became even more special, seeing how Jackson cringed with embarrassment and joy every time.

The main problem he had with Jackson, was his strange trait to make Mark consider the slightest show of something to be Jackson’s affection towards him, but then to wander off to the next member or friend to give them all his attention. He had given it to Bambam, he had targeted Jinyoung, too. Mark was hesitant to disclose his feelings because of this, he feared getting hurt. If Mark was ever disappointed, Jackson surprised him with his next warm act that made Mark reconsider him. There was this constant push and pull between him and Jackson, making the decryption interesting and difficult at the same time.

This led to Mark’s third kind of knowledge about Jackson. Jackson was on a secret quest to appeal to everybody and they were all his victims. Mark had to admit this was rather an assumption, but he felt like a fool nonetheless and caught himself agonising over it often enough.

Knowing that sleep would pass him by for the rest of the night, he turned his computer on for a round of Overwatch. One round turned into two, two into more and before he knew how much time elapsed, dawn broke as sunlight filtered through the dormitory windows. He yawned loudly and Youngjae stirred from his sleep.

“Hyung, have you been playing all night long?”

“Good morning to you, too,” he said, avoiding an answer.

“Hyung, that’s not healthy.”

“Shut up, you do it all the time.”

“I know, I’m speaking from first-hand experience. You do know that we have an appointment later? You won’t be able to keep your eyes open, Hyung.”

“I know,” he said. “I’ll sleep in the car.”

Youngjae only sighed instead of continuing the argument. Mark felt guilty, he knew he wasn’t setting a great example.

He put his laptop away and stretched his body. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, this won’t be a problem.”

Youngjae came out of his bed to jump on him.

“Umpf!”

“It’s okay, Hyung. No need to apologise,” Youngjae said while bodily hugging him. “I’m just worried for you.”

“I know,” he said and gave Youngjae a pat on his head. “How’s Coco doing?” It felt strange, yet domestic to talk about their “daughter’s” well-being.

“Coco is at Ahjumma’s place and doing fine. We’ll get her back once we return from Japan again.” With “Ahjumma” Youngjae meant the lady, who helped them in the household and took care of Coco, when they were too busy or out of the country. “I miss Coco, man,” he said in English.

Mark laughed before shoving Youngjae away. “Me, too, man. Now go and brush your teeth, you stink.”

“Hyung, why are you always so brutally honest?” Youngjae whined. “You think you smell better?” He took a sniff and Mark turned his head away. “Why do you smell like rotten barbecue?”

“Get off me.”

“Did you eat Samgyeopsal, Hyung?”

“Mmh,” he nodded. There was no point in lying.

“Why did you go by yourself instead of asking me along?”

“You were sleeping and I wasn’t by myself. I went with Jackson.”

“JACKSON-HYUNG IS BACK? HMPF-” Mark put a hand over Youngjae’s mouth.

“Oh, my goodness, will you shush?” He found the enthusiasm cute but the loud voice was too much to handle up-close. “He’s sleeping in the living room; don’t you wake him up.”

“I won’t, I just want to see,” he said and jumped out of Mark’s reach. Then he came to a halt and the light on his face extinguished as he seemed to remember something.

“What happened?”

“I think Jackson-hyung doesn’t like me.” His eyes were turned toward the floor and his face took on the saddest expression.

Mark stood up and squeezed both of Youngjae’s hands as he tried to make eye-contact. “That’s ridiculous. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. He said something about toning it down on Instagram.”

This stunned Mark. What did this mean? Why would Jackson do that?

“Is that why you deleted all of your posts?”

Youngjae nor responded, neither looked at him. Mark gave him a comforting hug.

“You’re such an idiot, but don’t worry, I’ll handle this,” he said as Youngjae’s arms encircled his waist. “Make a post on Instagram today, this is an order. Jackson loves you, it’s probably just a misunderstanding.”

“I don’t know, Hyung. He sounded jealous, which is understandable, since he was complaining about the posts of you. I mean, I would react like that, too, if he posted about my crush and called them-”

“Wait, what?” He pulled back from Youngjae, his heart racing a mile a minute and waking up every sleepy cell in his body.

Youngjae finally looked at him; his eyes were shocked, realising he said too much already, before turning soft, as if he had to explain a toddler what one plus one added up to. “Oh, Hyung. You didn’t know?”

Mark needed a time-out. He went to the bathroom to take a shower, leaving Youngjae behind without another word. He brushed his teeth with furious speed before disrobing and drenching his hair by a hot water flow. Under the shower was the best place, where he could think, though he didn’t need much thinking anymore, because Youngjae might just have given him the solution key to the enigma. He felt betrayed, robbed of a whole process of calculating and finding.

On the other hand, maybe Youngjae was mistaken. Maybe Youngjae just assumed, like Jackson just assumed and was wrong.

He restarted brooding as he sighed, inhaled and steamy air filled his lungs. Why didn’t Jackson say anything? Was he afraid like Mark was? Or was he displaying his common possessiveness that he had towards every member? Maybe it was just a misunderstanding and he was defending Mark out of a kind act, because Mark didn’t do it himself.

Routinely, his hand went out to grab Jackson’s shampoo bottle that still stood there, where he had left it last. The scent took up the whole room as soon as he massaged an amount into his hair, making every muscle in his body relax. It was unbelievable how he could manipulate his frantic self to calm down with a mere scent.

But it wasn’t merely a scent, it was Jackson’s, who just happened to walk into the bathroom. His breath hitched, though his relaxed body couldn’t be disturbed.

“Mark-hyung, is that you?” said a sleep-rough voice.

“What the heck, Jackson? I’m showering!” The grey glass of the shower stall was immediately drawn shut and even though there was steam, he knew his body was visible to a certain extent.

“I’m sorry, I know. Don’t bother me, I just really need to piss.”

“The heck?” he repeated. “Go to the other bathroom.”

“Youngjae is in that one and he has sealed the door.”

“I wonder, why I didn’t,” he said. He had been in a rush, he remembered.

“What was that?” said Jackson as Mark heard a dulled, second stream similar to that of the shower. Oh, my goodness, his brain short-circuited. Jackson was pissing while he was talking. He had heard stories of Jackson barging into the bathroom while the other members had been in there, like Jaebum and Bambam, but it had never happened to him before.

“Nothing,” he said. His face felt too hot all of a sudden and he changed his water temperature to a colder one. It turned out ice-cold and made him gasp loudly.

“Hey, everything all right in there?”

“Yeah, I just-”

“You need me to check up on you?”

“No!” he yelled. He was making a fool out of himself and he knew it. “Don’t you dare pull this door open,” he said in warning before he turned the temperature warm again and palmed his face.

Jackson laughed, to his chagrin.

Why did he have the strangest meetings with Jackson, when he was ?

“Don’t worry, I won’t. Hey, I won’t flush the toilet, so as not to burn or freeze you, you know how the temperature changes easily.”

He got weak as Jackson showed his caring side. Little did Jackson know that he was already shivering. “Wash your hands, at least.”

“Okay, step out of the water for a bit, Hyung,” Jackson said and turned the tap on. Mark did as he was told. “Hey, can I brush my teeth here, while I’m at it?”

“No!”

“All right, all right, don’t flip,” Jackson chuckled again. “Hyung, by the way, your silhouette looks very y.”

Instinctively, Mark covered as much of his body as his hands enabled him to, turning around to the wall. “Jackson, I swear-” he said, trying to sound menacing.

“Why are you so embarrassed, y Pooh? There’s nothing I haven’t seen.”

“Would you shut up? That doesn’t mean I want you to continue doing it.”

“You know what’s funny? You and Jaebum-hyung reacted exactly the same way,” Jackson said as the tap was turned off again.

“Did you call him, y Pooh, too?” He didn’t know why he asked that, his tongue was running out of control.

“No, that’s the endearment I’ve been saving up for you. I called him Mr. Chic and y, like I always do.”

Mark felt another pang of jealousy.

“I’m done, Hyung. Continue your shower.”

“Thank you very much,” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Don’t use up all of my shampoo,” said Jackson, surprising him yet again. “I thought you were serious, when you said, I’m sorry, Ga Ga. This is the last time, I swear-”

“Hey, my voice isn’t that high,” he complained, “but I’m really sorry, Ga Ga,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Didn’t you tell me I could keep it, though? Because you didn’t want to tell me your secret with Jinyoung?”

“WHAT? BAMBAM? DID YOU CALL FOR ME?”

“Ga Ga, if you want your shampoo back, you got to tell me your secret.” He completely ignored Jackson’s obvious lie.

“I’m sorry, Hyung, I think Bambam just called for me. I better go and check. That idiot probably dabbed off his bed.”

“Ga Ga.”

“See you later!”

He gave a sigh, when he heard the door reclosing after Jackson left. His heart was racing again and it was Jackson’s fault. He tried to forget the encounter but the words he couldn’t, were, “your silhouette looks very y.”

He took another ten minutes under the water flow to recover. When he came out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his waist, because he forgot to take clean laundry with him again, he went straight to his old bedroom, where Jackson was unpacking his bag.

“Stop insulting me with that body of yours, okay?” Jackson said as soon as their eyes met. He didn’t know who looked more shocked.

“Shut up,” he said, though the corners of his mouth lifted. He took a pair of clothes and left.

Next, they met at the breakfast table, where everybody who was awake had gathered. Youngjae and Jinyoung were already fresh as the day, neatly clothed, Bambam was still wearing pyjamas but screaming at the top of his lungs, doing his morning routine by dabbing to his new favourite songs. After Yugyeom came and gave him a sleepy morning hug, Jaebum was the only one still asleep. Yugyeom left to dance with Bambam as he heard Jackson coming up behind him. Jackson pressed his forehead into Mark’s spine, making his fingers freeze around his bowl of cereal. In front of him, Youngjae and Jinyoung exchanged glances and he felt his face growing warm.

“Mark, please make them stop screaming and dancing, I can’t deal with their this early in the morning,” Jackson whispered into his sweater, hot breath puffing through the material.

“Why, weren’t you the one who screamed earlier than them?” He moved his shoulder blades uncomfortably, but Jackson only used this opportunity to lean his chin on one of Mark’s shoulders.

Mark lifted a hand to ruffle Jackson’s hair, trying to put the action off as something normal that didn’t bother him as much as it did and hoping Jinyoung and Youngjae would stop throwing those glances.

“Hey, Sunshine, hey, Jinyoung,” Jackson greeted over the table, as if Mark weren’t there.

“Hey, Hyung,” Youngjae nodded shyly.

“Morning, Jackson,” said Jinyoung, suppressing an obvious smirk. “How was your trip to China?”

“Stressful and busy, but I liked it. I’m just tired, you know.”

“Oh, poor you. I heard you went out yesterday, maybe you shouldn’t have stayed up late?”

Mark hated them both. “Hey, Maknaedeul! Shut up and go, change or eat breakfast,” he yelled at Bambam and Yugyeom, who went quiet. “We have to leave in a bit, and why isn’t Jaebum awake already? JAEBUMAH!”

“I don’t get this Hyung. Sometimes, he’s the nicest Hyung in the world, but when he gets angry, he’s so scary,” Yugyeom complained to Bambam on the way to their bedroom.

“I know, man,” Bambam said before they both stopped to back-hug Jackson, drawn to him like magnets. “We’ve missed you, Jackson-hyung.”

Mark tried to stand up when he felt the extra weight, knocking Yugyeom, Bambam and Jackson away, who complained and pressed him down again. “Somebody has to wake Jaebum up,” he said but they knew he just wanted to kill the youngsters.

“Not you,” said Jackson close to his ear, hugging him from behind with a vice-grip this time. It calmed him down.

“Wait, Hyung, let me do it,” offered Youngjae and threw his tissue aside as he stood up.

Jinyoung, however, put a hand on Youngjae’s arm, bringing him to a halt. Everybody thought he would stop Youngjae, but all he did was smile as his smirk vanished and say, “pull at his hair for me.”

Youngjae smiled mischievously in return and said, “all right, Hyung.”

Mark smelled something was fishy, but he stayed quiet. He decided to observe the progress of this.

“, Jinyoung,” said Jackson still close to his ear. He tried not to shiver at the hot breath, pondering whether Jackson used the sultry spoken word on purpose.

Jinyoung, ever the great actor, dimmed his facial expressions to a minimum, only one corner of his lips lifting as he cleaned it with a tissue. “Let me have my little pleasures of the day, will you,” he said, as if he was a psychopath who found malicious joy in torturing s. Well, sometimes he did, but they never talked about that. Mark knew it was just Jinyoung’s favourite role to play. “I didn’t stop you, either, when you went in on Mark-hyung showering, while my bathroom was completely free.”

“What?” This time, he couldn’t stop the cold shiver running down his spine as Jackson let go of him and attacked Jinyoung by straddling his lap and covering Jinyoung’s face with both hands.

“What the are you saying, Jinyoung? You didn’t tell me your bathroom was free!”

“Mmhmpf!” Jinyoung lifted both hands in a huge shrug as he tried to explain himself, eyes wide.

“No, the you did!”

Mark palmed his face. “Jackson, let go of him.”

“But Hyung, you don’t understand, he’s talking nonsense!”

“Jackson, let him breathe.”

Jackson sighed but did as told, climbing off Jinyoung’s lap at the same time as Jinyoung gave him a shove, breathing hard. Jinyoung fixed his tie and threw a death-glare at Jackson, “I’ll have a word with you later.”

As soon as he said that, Youngjae came running back, hiding behind Jinyoung.

Jaebum, the reason for his fright, was close on his heels, hair still sleep-ruffled and swinging in every direction.

“It was him, who suggested it, I swear to God!” screamed Youngjae.

Jinyoung palmed his face this time. “Traitor,” he whispered but they all heard it. Youngjae ran.

Jaebum approached Jinyoung next and Jackson ran back to Mark’s side to stay out of the attack zone. Mark knew Jackson was a scaredy-cat who shrank in the presence of authoritative auras like that of their leader who only showed it, when someone messed with him. Mark laughed and gripped Jackson by the back of his neck, silently telling him, “I’ll protect you.”

Jaebum had Jinyoung in a headlock but Jinyoung only laughed melodiously, used to the roughness by years the duo head spent together.

“So, you suggested it, huh?” Jaebum squeezed him harder and pulled at strands of Jinyoung’s smooth black hair.

“I’m sorry, Hyung! Hahaha! I’m sorry, but you had to wake up, otherwise we’d be late.” Jinyoung’s eyes crinkled in the truest smile, façade slipping as he hit at Jaebum’s elbow.

Jaebum immediately let him go with an eye-smile of his own, accentuated by his beautiful twin moles above his left eye. Mark had always envied him for those. “Next time, I’ll wake you up by pulling at your hair. Let’s see how you’ll like that.”

Jinyoung inhaled deeply and straightened his clothes before running his hands through his hair to put it back into place. He clicked his tongue. “Empty promises.”

It was Jaebum’s turn to laugh loudly. “Wow, you better watch out from now on.”

“I might, as well,” said Jinyoung, eyes still crinkling while looking at Jaebum. “Nice hair, by the way.”

Jaebum ran his fingers through his messy hair in embarrassment. Everybody knew Jinyoung was being sarcastic, his favourite kind of humour. Jaebum responded to it in the same way, probably another thing adopted over the years. “Thank you very much.”

It wasn’t an obvious fondness, when Jinyoung looked at Jaebum retreating to his bedroom. It was the missing death-glare and the subtlety, with which he tried to slip on a controlled expression, when Mark caught his eyes with trained ease, giving away the former unmasked emotion. Wasn’t it strange, how Jinyoung didn’t threaten Jaebum to have a word with him later? It wasn’t.

Something clicked inside Mark’s mind, pieces falling into place after years of being apart. Jinyoung, that sneaky bastard, was into Jaebum. So, Jaebum wasn’t the only one who wanted to date him. It was mutual.

Mark felt Jackson turning his head in Mark’s grip and looked. Jackson was staring at him.

“Hyung,” Jackson said and leaned into Mark’s face, making his heart jump into his throat. “I’m not usually one to say this, but-”

“What?” he said softly as his thumb Jackson’s nape.

“You look like .”

He let his hand drop and rolled his eyes. Whose fault do you think this is? “And you stink, did you brush your teeth yet?”

“The bathrooms were occupied, as you well know and somebody didn’t let me brush them while I was in there together with them.”

Mark blushed.

“No, but seriously, you’ve got huge dark circles.” Jackson tried to put fingers on his face but he turned it away.

“Earlier, Youngjae said that he played Overwatch with his fling all night long,” said Jinyoung, sounding too happy about the distraction.

“You did what? Is that true, Hyung?” Jackson looked betrayed.

“Yah,” yelled Mark, throwing Jinyoung a menacing look. “I’m sure Youngjae didn’t say that.”

“True,” Jinyoung said, taking a sip of his tea, “he said you played Overwatch all night, the fling part is a wild guess by me, correct me, if I’m wrong,” he was smirking with no concealment whatsoever. Mark wanted to punch him.

“This is the last time I say this. He is not my fling.”

Jinyoung emptied his cup of tea, stood up and left. “Keep saying that, somebody might start believing you,” he said on his way.

“He is not.” Horrified, he looked at Jackson. “Jackson, it’s not like that.”

“Hyung, after everything you said yesterday night, how could you?” Jackson looked disappointed and stood up to leave, too.

“It’s not like that, Jackson,” he repeated. “It’s not,” he yelled after Jackson. “Oh, my goodness. This is a total misunderstanding.”

He sighed, being left alone with his bowl of soaked cereal that he couldn’t finish because he was too frustrated. In the end, he emptied it in the sink, finished dressing and was the first to go down to the two cars waiting for them in front of their dormitory to drive them to their appointment for the day.

They always separated into groups of three and four to reach their destination, allowing themselves the extra space that everybody much needed, particularly for sleeping in the car, which Mark was desperate to do. He boarded the smaller of the two black vans in hope the lesser seats meant lesser noisy members. Once he pulled the belt around himself, he pulled his seat back to a lying position and closed his eyes.

So, Jinyoung liked Jaebum, he thought. This meant, Jinyoung wasn’t into Jackson at all, too. Mark had been jealous in that aspect for nothing. Knowing that Jaebum had liked Jinyoung for years, too, he wondered what the problem between them was, why Jaebum hadn’t confessed. Or did he? Not that Mark knew of. Or didn’t Jaebum like him anymore? Did Jaebum fall for Jackson instead? What kept Jinyoung from confessing? How about Jackson? Did Jackson know Jinyoung was into Jaebum? Was this the secret he didn’t want to share with Mark?

Brooding over these questions, he fell asleep.

It could have been hours later, they probably were only minutes, when he felt himself stirring awake as soft lips touched his cheek.

“Huh?” he said groggily, mouth agape.

Jackson hovering over him was the first thing he saw as he opened his eyes. He closed his jaw embarrassedly.

“What, huh? You can peck me while I’m asleep, but I can’t while you are?” said Jackson and moved to sit beside him, closing the car-door behind himself. So, Jackson remembered, another reason to be embarrassed.

Mark held him in that hovering position by the back of his neck before he could sit down. Mark felt shy and bold at the same time but he had to know, once and for all, what Jackson felt about him.

“What did you tell Youngjae? He deleted all his Instagram posts because of you. Why does he think you don’t like him anymore?”

“Oh , did he say that? It’s just a misunderstanding, I swear,” said Jackson and Mark believed him.

“He also said something about you being jealous. Is that also not true?” He asked as calmly as he could manage, though the rushing blood in his veins and every nerve in his body was anything but calm.

Jackson exhaled up close and his breath hit Mark’s face. He had brushed his teeth and smelled of mint. His neck and throat, however, smelled of Jackson’s favourite perfume, which Mark also liked much more than he wanted to admit. Jackson smelled captivating like a fresh ocean breeze and Mark could brush his lips against Jackson’s, if he leaned in that much closer.

Jackson put his hand on Mark’s headrest, holding himself up, appearing intimidating and strong and Mark could have melted, if Jackson said something along the lines of, “Hyung, do you want it to be?”

But Jackson was never easy like that, he was complicated and reacted in ways Mark didn’t expect him to.

“That’s ridiculous. What do I have to be jealous of?”

Mark gulped uncomfortably, losing any confidence he had left. “Right,” he said and let his hands drop to his sides, his voice much rougher after the short time of sleep. “You have nothing.”

He let Jackson sit down and reclosed his eyes.

“Oh, Hyung. You didn’t know?”

Youngjae was so mistaken. Jackson was still his enigma.

“Hyung,” Jackson said beside him.

“Hmm,” he said without opening his eyes.

“I’m sorry for keeping you awake yesterday night.” Funny, Mark thought. He had felt the same guilt yesterday, but his reason was different. Mark cared about Jackson in ways that Jackson didn’t. So, what was the point of saying sorry, if it was just a platonic concern?

“Don’t worry, you didn’t.”

“But you’re tired.”

“Didn’t you hear that I played Overwatch with my fling all night?” He said it out of a sulky impulse, he knew he was being childish, but Jackson didn’t.

The following silence was deafening. He had to open his eyes to see Jackson’s expression. Jackson didn’t even look shocked, nothing of the former disappointment visible. His expression was unreadable, so calculated that Mark hadn’t seen it in a long time. “You said it wasn’t like that,” he said calmly.

“Since everybody’s calling him my fling, I might start, as well.”

“Ha,” Jackson sighed. “Was he the one you texted while you were with me?”

“Yes,” said Mark.

Jackson didn’t add anything else to it.

Mark pretended to fall asleep again. All he did, was consider, how he found this new way to silence Jackson for good.

This was the last time Mark approached Jackson about his feelings, too.

After that, Jackson became quiet around Mark. Mark never would have thought it would ever become awkward between him and Jackson but time proved him wrong. In the following months, he was worried, because he wasn’t used to Jackson not talking to him for so long or talking as little as Mark usually did. He thought, whether he should apologise but he couldn’t think of saying anything offending. After all, it was Jackson, who said he didn’t have anything to be jealous of. Mark just provided him with an idea. How could he know that Jackson would turn the tables on him by announcing he would go on another date for that stupid bromance TV show? Mark never got so furious. He didn’t get furious, because Jackson decided to go with Paul, a friend from the past that Mark was already jealous of for his close relationship with Jackson during their trainee days. It wasn’t about the date being filmed, while they were in Tokyo for a concert. He got furious, because it was merely a day after Jackson’s car accident.

“You’re not going!”

“Oh, yes, I am!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Who are you to stop me?”

That hurt, Jackson, usually, wasn’t like that. Usually, he would listen. “I-I’m your Hyung,” he stuttered, then looked at Jaebum for help. “And Jaebum is your leader, come on, tell him, JB.” He smiled, pleased with himself for finding his trump card.

Jaebum only massaged his temples. “You think I didn’t tell him? I told him a thousand times, he’s not listening to me, either. He says he already agreed upon it with JYP PD and the production staff. If JYP agrees, what can I say?”

“See!” Jackson said triumphantly.

Mark’s smile faltered. “But he’s still hurt. He can’t go like that, can he?” He asked Jaebum who didn’t answer but continued massaging his temples. He turned back to Jackson instead. “You can’t go like that,” he said.

“Seriously, you guys need to stop acting like worried mother hens!”

“We act like nothing, we are worried,” said Jaebum and Mark was endlessly thankful to him for his quick reaction.

Jackson calmed down. “I get it, but I won’t overstrain my back, look, it doesn’t even hurt that much anymore,” he said and stretched his spine. He flinched in pain, which didn’t go unnoticed.

“You’re not going,” Mark said with finality.

Jackson rolled his eyes, supporting his back with one hand. “I’ll just have fun and probably lie down most of the time.”

Mark raised a brow. “Lie down on a date?”

“Yeah, it’s a sleepover date, I booked a room.”

“You booked a room?” The high tone of his voice surprised himself. Jaebum squeezed one of his shoulders.

Jackson blushed. “I don’t get why I have to defend myself or have this discussion with you. I’m going either way. I-it’s not like y-you are my boyfriend.”

Mark took his time to respond to that stinging remark. He stood up, freed himself from Jaebum’s grip and faced Jackson in his full height, schooling his features to look as dark as he felt. “I was just trying to put some sense into you.” He took a step closer into Jackson’s personal space, lowering his voice. “And you would know, if I dated you, trust me.”

He left in a storm, similar to the one brewing in his body. He waited till he was out of earshot before his fist connected to the closest wall. The pain stung up his arm, but not as much as Jackson’s words.

Maybe, Mark needed to go out with someone. Maybe, this was Jackson’s problem, maybe, he needed that reminder that he wasn’t the only one in Mark’s life.

“What do I have to be jealous of?”

Thinking about how Mark got a reaction out of Jackson, when he mentioned V as his fling, the idea didn’t seem too bad.

“You said it wasn’t like that.”

Maybe, it should be like that. Maybe, Jackson took him for granted for too long.

Hence, Mark avoided Jackson on purpose. It did wonders, disclosing a whole new layer of Jackson with a cheat sheet of solutions that it almost seemed unfair.

Mark took it easy and loosened up. He didn’t go on dates per se, but he hung out with his friends more often, let himself be seen in PC rooms and bowling centres. That one time, he even let his friend, Changbum, upload a video of him shaking his head to the pen pineapple apple song while Changbum sang it and put a filter of the fruits on their faces. Upon seeing the video on Instagram, Jackson went wild. It was the first reaction he got out of him in months.

“I ing hate you!”

“What? Why?”

“I told you about the PPAP song months ago and you told me to shut up! Now you go ahead and sing and dance to it!”

“I didn’t sing and dance to it, I just shook my head because it’s funny. Changbum sang it.”

“Oh, my god! It was me who told you it’s funny and you didn’t believe me! And who the is even Changbum? Why did he call you Markbum? Are you guys dating or what?”

Mark bit on his lips to not laugh. “How did you even find the video?”

“Fans tagged me in it, okay! It’s not like I purposely search for your videos on Instagram.”

Mark tried really hard not to laugh. The thought of Jackson going through his videos was heart-warming, even if not true. “Changbum is my friend and you know him. We met him at the Idol Star Athletic Championships.”

“I don’t care, I can’t remember every ing face I see there.”

“Jackson, you’re being rude.”

“I’m sorry, Hyung, but I still hate you.”

Jackson left without saying another word. No matter how harsh his words seemed, Mark found him adorable. It made Mark’s dormant fury towards Jackson dissipate slowly.

When their Hard Carry promotions started, Mark avoided him by always taking one of the two cars that Jackson was not in. To his surprise, once Jackson noticed it, he didn’t lose it by raising his voice or throwing a tantrum, he just quietly left his own vehicle to join Mark’s, asking Yugyeom to step out and exchange seats with him. Jackson didn’t even speak to Mark, he remained silent with his arms crossed over his chest and eyes closed. Just to tickle Jackson’s nerves, Mark pulled his phone out and played some Overwatch videos on YouTube. Hearing the loudness, Youngjae probably thought it was okay to raise the volume, because he started doing his own vocal exercises.

“Can you shut up?” This was the point Jackson lost it.

Youngjae went quiet.

“Stop taking your anger out on Youngjae,” Mark said. They both knew the true reason behind the anger, but Jackson was fast to sidestep the truth.

“I’m not, I’m just trying to sleep,” said Jackson.

“Then, why did you board this car?”

“I thought this would be the quieter of the two cars.”

“Well, you were wrong,” said Mark.

“Obviously,” said Jackson and reclosed his eyes. “Whatever, I hate you all.” He furrowed his brows, his nose scrunched up and his lower lip jutted out.

Mark suppressed a chuckle, itching to grip Jackson’s nape.

“Sorry,” Youngjae mumbled.

“It’s not your fault,” said Mark, pausing the video and putting his phone away. “He’s mad at me,” he mouthed and stretched his hand out to slip between Jackson’s back of neck and the headrest. It was the first contact in months but Jackson didn’t open his eyes, when Mark squeezed the thin layer of skin between his forefinger and thumb. Jackson only stirred, when Mark put pressure on the bump, where his cervical protruded, relaxing instantly.

Mark continued with the day, as if nothing happened, being close and friendly in front of the camera, but avoiding Jackson offside, which irritated Jackson more than he would ever admit.

Jackson’s horrible and sweet revenge was, what hit Mark next. He should have expected it. He expected something would come his way sooner or later, but not Jackson full-out seducing him in front of the camera.

They were backstage and filming a behind the scenes clip, ready to perform their comeback song at a music station, waiting for their turn while another group’s song filled the background. Bambam was standing next to him, still getting his electronics fixed and being fussed over by their stylists, when Jackson danced up on him. It was so out of the blue, so out of tune and the rhythm of the happy girl group song, so much body contact and so sensual, the way Jackson swung his hips and trapped him against the wall, as if the backstage space wasn’t tiny enough, that Mark was overwhelmed and stunned into silence. He looked back and forth between Jackson and the camera, but Jackson didn’t seem to care. The worst part was, Jackson looked gorgeous. They all did, Mark tried to reason, they had their full stage makeup and fancy clothes on, silky bordeaux shirts to black trousers. But Jackson, goodness, the flowing material accentuated his toned muscles in all the right places and he had his two top buttons undone. It took all of Mark’s willpower not to stare down Jackson’s chest more than once or reverse their positions to press him against the wall and kiss him. He thought about it, his lips inwardly, especially, when Jackson touched them and complained to the camera, how Mark never talked to him, not even when they shared the same room. They exchanged a grin after the fat lie.

On their way back home, Mark asked him about the incident, his mind was still stuck on repeat.

“What the heck was that?”

“What the heck was what?” Jackson played innocent.

“Your… your y dance!”

Jackson bit his lip in a small smirk, his voice getting low. “Oh, you mean you found it y?”

“Shut up, you were obviously trying to , in front of the camera no less.”

Jackson’s smirk became broader as he drove fingers through his bleached silver-blond hair in a suggestive way, as if he knew what feeling it evoked in Mark’s guts. “Are you saying it turned you on, Hyung?”

“No, I said you were trying. Don’t ever do that again.”

Jackson’s smirk vanished, his hand dropping from his hair. “So, you don’t want me to dance for you ever again?”

“No,” said Mark and approached him, cornering him against the closest wall, where nobody could see them, the thing he had wanted to do all day long. “I’m saying, don’t ever try, what you don’t mean to do, you ing tease.” He left in what he hoped was a cool manner, a radical contrast to his inner turmoil reaching boiling point.

Mark kept sticking with the other members, when they arranged their plane seatmates at the immigration or emigration point of airports to fly in and out of the country. He mostly stuck with Bambam, because Jackson got the most curious, when the two of them were together, following them around like a stalking ex-boyfriend, which was ridiculous, because he and Jackson never were boyfriends, as Jackson had clearly pointed out. Mark found Jackson’s biggest pout to date that told him Jackson was overthinking again still cute. The discussions with the leader weren’t anything less, either.

“Come on, Jackson, stop being a drama queen and be my partner instead,” Jaebum would say.

“Excuse me? What did you just call me, leader?”

“Sorry, your highness. Princess Jackson,” Jaebum would whisper and all the members chuckled at Jaebum’s new nickname for Jackson. “I mean, Prince Jackson,” he would say louder, “would you do me the honour to be my seatmate for the day?”

“No, I refuse to be partnered with anyone but Ma- but ma boy, Bambam!”

Mark laughed, Youngjae laughed, Yugyeom laughed, even Jinyoung laughed. Jaebum palmed his face.

“Hyung, but Mark-hyung asked me first,” Bambam would say guiltily.

“Then reject him again,” Jackson would say.

“Boy, you’re being ridiculous,” Jaebum would say.

“I can’t do that,” Bambam would say.

“It’s okay, leave me alone to die, when the plane crashes,” Jackson would say. “I don’t need a partner; I’d rather be left alone in my miserable state. Jackson Wang, came as he went, born lonely, died lonely, should be written on my grave. Maybe I should strip just to prove my point.” He would make attempts to take his shirt off.

This would be the point Jaebum would have enough of Princess Jackson.

“No, you’re not ing stripping at the airport under my lead!”

“Hyung, you don’t actually think that someone of my build can be of much help to you if the plane crashes, do you?”

If the brawl with Jaebum didn’t stop Jackson in his tracks, Bambam’s one argument would. “Wow, did you just call me fat?”

Yugyeom and Youngjae would piss themselves with laughter, Jinyoung’s smirk would reach and crinkle his eyes and Bambam would turn his guilty stare on Mark. “Maybe I should go with Jackson-hyung instead?”

“No, this is too hilarious, you’re going nowhere,” Mark would say and grip his arm.

Jaebum always ended up picking another member as a seatmate, leaving Jackson alone, like he supposedly preferred. They knew he didn’t.

One day, after another tiring flight, they discarded their luggage in a corner of their apartment and Jaebum dropped on the living room couch next to Mark, looking exceptionally pitiful. Mark’s hand went immediately to Jaebum’s back of head, his hair and massaging the tension lines out of his broad shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Mark asked, starting a whispered conversation as the other members disappeared into their bedrooms, the kitchen in search for something edible or the bathrooms to take a shower.

“Mark, I’m this short of losing my with him.”

“Relax, you’re doing great so far,” Mark said. “This is just him being cute.”

“Cute? You’re calling his behaviour cute?”

“Yeah, try living with him in a room for a few years, anything less will appear cute in comparison.”

“You do realise this is all your fault, right?”

“How come that?”

“You’ve spoiled him rotten for years. Did he also wake you up at ungodly hours to show you stupid YouTube video clips?”

Mark smiled to himself. “Yeah, he did.”

“And those dance-breaks?”

“Yup.”

“And the late-night snacks?”

“Yup.”

“But the-”

“Yup, yup and yup.”

“I get it, okay? You know him pretty well.” Jaebum sighed. “What annoys me the most are the kissy faces.”

Mark pulled his hand back. “The what?”

“You know, the kissy faces,” Jaebum repeated and turned around in his seat to look at Mark, as if the information were common knowledge. “The ones, where he air-kisses you and you have to air-kiss him back or he won’t ever stop doing it.”

Mark glared at him with wide eyes, not blinking or letting them narrow down. “Nope, I don’t know those.”

“O-oh, he’s never done that to you? Okay.” Jaebum’s cheeks went scarlet and his back hit the couch again. He exhaled deeply, looking at the ceiling.

Mark suppressed a pang of jealousy and did the same, leaning his head on the couch-rest.

“Are you still mad at him about the date with Paul while he was sick or are you ever going to talk to him again?”

Mark had almost forgotten that Jaebum knew, that Jaebum had witnessed his fury. He felt the tips of his ears going warm and stayed quiet.

“Jackson talks like a waterfall every night, you know.”

“I know.”

“He misses you.”

He smiled bittersweetly. “Really?”

Jaebum shook his shoulder through their contact, making Mark stare at him sideways. “Talk to him, for god’s sake.”

“Not until he stops being so stubborn and does it first.”

“But you’re just as stubborn.”

“No, I’m patient.”

“I see no difference.” Jaebum started massaging his own temples, a thing he did more frequently lately. “Shouldn’t we, as the elder Hyungs, give in first and be more understanding?”

“Nope,” said Mark.

Jaebum continued massaging his temples. “Just so you know, I’m going bald because of you guys.”

Mark laughed, squeezing Jaebum’s nape again. “You know, I’ll love you, even when you turn into a bald grandpa.”

“Shut up,” Jaebum said, yet he grinned brightly for the first time that day and Mark noticed how it caught Jinyoung’s eyes, who walked by across the room. He looked very subtly turning his head back and forth between them two, as if he heard the confession but didn’t know what to do about it.

“Maybe we should just date each other, you know,” Jaebum suggested, “forego all the drama to settle down with the more comfortable option.”

“Maybe we should,” Mark agreed, eyes never leaving Jinyoung’s form in his periphery.

“I’d give you a compliment every day, starting with telling you how beautiful you are,” said Jaebum.

“Wow, that was greasy.”

“Maybe it was. But the real question here is, did it work? Did it make your heart race?”

Mark grinned. “It did.”

“You’re welcome, honey.”

Mark had to throw his head back and laugh, losing sight of Jinyoung. “Is that your usual pickup-line? We should just date each other, forego all the drama and settle down with the more comfortable option. I’d tell you how beautiful you are every day?”

“No, Mr. Beauty, that was custom-made just for you.”

“Thanks, Mr. Coolness.”

“Shut up.”

“What? Do you prefer Mr. Chic and y?”

“Stop it, you’re starting to sound like Jackson.”

“I may sound like him but you act like him, why are you two so self-conscious? I really think that you’re cool.”

Jaebum looked sceptical. “How cool?”

“So cool that I’d cook you Ramyeon every day just to impress you but it would probably taste bad.”

“I’d eat it anyway,” said Jaebum while rubbing his tummy, eyes falling closed at the mere thought of food.

“Oh, and I envy you for your two beauty dots.”

Jaebum got shy, which was a rare sight; he covered his warm cheeks with two palms and stumbled upon words. “Y-you d-do?”

“Yeah.”

“I’d take you out to the Han-river for that compliment. We’d chill and listen to music.”

“I’d take you out to sky-diving afterwards.”

“Scary, but I would agree, because I’d be a good boyfriend.”

“We would be good for each other.” Mark placed his hand in Jaebum’s, re-catching sight of Jinyoung.

“So good,” Jaebum agreed and squeezed his hand.

A minute later, Jinyoung disappeared from his periphery and they heard the loud shutting of his bedroom door.

“By the way, was this display on purpose?” Mark asked in a low voice.

The grin on Jaebum’s face disappeared as he palmed it with both hands. “I’m sorry. I didn’t lie, though.”

“Don’t worry,” Mark gave his spine a pat. So, Jaebum still liked Jinyoung. This also meant that he wasn’t into Jackson, which lifted a weight off Mark’s chest, no matter how guilty he felt about the egoistic thought. “I didn’t lie, either. Though, I’m disappointed that you won’t tell me how beautiful I am every day.”

“Very funny,” said Jaebum, yet he grinned again for a short moment. “I can still do it, if you want me to.”

“If you keep flattering me like that people might start thinking you’re really interested in me. And I don’t have a wish to appear on Jinyoung’s Death Note.”

“You don’t really think he has one, do you?”

“I don’t doubt it, I’d wonder if he hadn’t one.”

“If he had, I’d probably be the first on the list. Hey, what do you mean with you would appear on it?”

Mark stared at him. “Why don’t you talk to Jinyoung?”

Jaebum tensed. “Are you crazy? Didn’t I tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

Jaebum looked left and right before he leaned in and decided it was safe enough to share a secret.

“About the disastrous confession?” Jaebum murmured.

“You did what?”

Jaebum looked horrified at him for his raised voice.

“Sorry, I mean, nope, you didn’t tell me.”

Jaebum rolled his eyes and took him by the arm, leading him to the bedroom Jaebum shared with Jackson. He closed the door behind them, once he clarified it was empty. They sat down on Jaebum’s bunkbed and Mark squeezed Jaebum’s hand to lessen his obvious nervousness.

Another puzzle piece was put into place with Jaebum admitting that he did confess. Before, all Mark knew was that Jaebum had liked Jinyoung for years and only because he had guessed it and Jaebum had never denied it.

“Just say it.”

Jaebum inhaled. “All right. So, we were young, very young. We were just put into a group of two, auditioned and danced together at a competition. You probably remember the video.”

“The one where you danced to Balloons?”

Jaebum rubbed his forehead. “That was so embarrassing.”

“It was cute.”

“We were very young,” Jaebum repeated.

“I wasn’t making fun,” said Mark, yet, he had to giggle and Jaebum narrowed his eyes.

“Are you done?” said Jaebum.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Well, we just won that competition and we were both in a good mood. Jinyoung smiled at me and hugged me, that’s when I realised this is, perhaps, my first love.”

“Aww,” Mark squealed and body-slammed Jaebum into the bed, hugging him around his middle and wiggling his legs, as he did at cringe-worthy moments.

“Shut up and get off me,” said Jaebum. Mark had never seen him blush so hard. Jaebum tried to undo Mark’s strong grip but gave up when he noticed Mark had more energy. “I won’t continue, if you don’t let go.”

“No, please,” Mark said and let go immediately, pulling Jaebum to a sitting position again. “I know how hard this is for you to tell me. Please, continue.”

Jaebum sighed. “On the next Peppero Day, I decided to confess my feelings. I was so proud of what I was about to do, I even boasted about it.” He laughed bitterly. “I was so naïve.”

Mark squeezed his hands again. “Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t regret it.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew what happened.”

Instead of responding, Mark waited for him to continue.

“So, I went to his school, you see, we didn’t live together yet, I had to travel all the way to Busan, which took me a two hours’ bus ride and half an hour on the boat. But I was dedicated, I had a jolly time all the while, holding onto the pepperos, which I had bought on my way. I waited at his school gate till he would come out and when he did with a bunch of his friends, I greeted them and hid the pepperos behind my back. Jinyoung looked so shocked to see me, so I talked to his friends first, telling them what I was about to do till Jinyoung unfroze and got used to my presence. We laughed and they congratulated me, telling me they knew me from the performance video. I thought everything was working out perfectly fine, but Jinyoung told his friends goodbye and went home instead. I followed him and he kept being silent all the while, not turning around to look at me till we reached the stairs to his house. I confessed, telling him that I liked him and that I had something to give him. He smirked like he sometimes does and said, don’t tell me it’s pepperos. I realised he knew all along so, I pulled the pepperos from behind my back and held them up to him, saying, oh… oh, that’s right, I have pepperos, here for you. He first took them, but only to look at them closely, saying he didn’t want them because he didn’t like me that much and that I should take them back and leave. He wanted to enter his house, but I held onto his wrist, asking if he might change his mind, I’d wait for him. But he got angry and told me not to wait for him. I asked him why he got to be like this, since I liked him so much. Then he said in a knife-sharp voice, but I hate you to death.”

“Ouch.”

“I said, okay… I understand, took my pepperos and left. The two-and-a-half hours’ trip back home was the worst of my life.”

“Did he tell you why he hated you?”

“No, I don’t know. I guess, he just didn’t like me that much. He hated me just because. That is the reason why I never confessed to anyone ever again. He was my first and last.”

Mark sighed through the lump in his throat, squeezing Jaebum’s hands even harder. “Oh Jaebum. But that was years ago.”

Jaebum gulped, as if he had a similar lump. “Yeah and it took us years before we were on friendly terms again, past the pretence friendship that we needed for business, that is.”

“I think you should do it again.”

“You know, that’s what I thought, too. So, I approached him again.”

“You confessed again?” Mark yelled.

“Oh, my God, will you shut up?” Jaebum covered his mouth with both hands, looking at the door in fear that anybody would walk in at any given moment.

“Hmpf!” Mark protested.

“What was that?” Jaebum pulled his hands off.

“I’m sorry,” Mark said. “What did you tell him?”

“Yeah, well. I got courageous after that strange breakfast, you know which one? The one, where he dropped suggestive hints?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mark agreed. “I smelled something was fishy.”

“Right?” said Jaebum. “So, one day, I was going to wake him up by pulling at his hair. But I just couldn’t do it. He looked so peaceful and I was sitting next to his bed, with my hand hovering over his head awkwardly, about to his smooth hair out of his eyes, when they opened.”

“Oh, my goodness.” Mark got giddy just from listening to Jaebum’s story. “What happened then?”

“What do you think? I was so embarrassed that I stood up to leave after saying that he ruined my prank by waking up too early but he held onto my wrist.”

“Oh, my goodness.”

“Would you stop that?”

“Sorry, continue.”

“He held onto my wrist and apologised for ruining the prank, closing his eyes again and telling me to continue with whatever I was about to do.”

“Oh, my-”

Jaebum sighed. “Mark,-”

“Sorry, this was the last one. So, what did you do?”

“I his hair.”

“Goodness!”

“You said it was the last one.”

“I’m sorry, but this was truly the last one, I swear.”

Jaebum gave another sigh before he went on. “I his hair and his eyes stayed closed. He froze, so I pretended he was asleep, which we both knew he wasn’t. I started talking and asked him if he still hated me or if his feelings had changed.”

“What did he say?” Mark asked, on the edge of his seat.

“After not saying anything to me for another five minutes, I decided to leave. That’s when he said he didn’t hate me.”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you, Jaebum. What else did you say?”

“I said, okay and left.”

“You left? But didn’t you confess again?”

“No, I was scared. It was enough for me to hear that he didn’t hate me anymore. I mean, I knew that for a long time but I needed to hear it from him.”

Mark felt frustrated, he craved for a happy ending, if not his own, then for his friend’s, at least. “But you have to tell him about your feelings. You have to tell him that your feelings haven’t changed over the years, that you were honest back then and that you still love him.”

“Why? To humiliate myself again? Didn’t you listen to a word I said? You are crazy.”

“No, I think he won’t reject you this time.”

“Why do you think so?” Despite his doubts, Jaebum looked hopeful for the first time, maybe in years.

“On the couch, earlier, he kept watching us angrily.”

“He did, didn’t he. What if it was because of you?”

“What? You think he likes me?”

“I’m not excluding the possibility. I was rejected, okay? And you two do seem rather close, I thought, if not me, then he told you about the confession, since you two seem to share secrets.”

“No, he didn’t tell me about it. Just to remind you, I’m your best friend.”

Jaebum smiled. “Thanks, best friend.”

Mark felt bad hearing that, because he had never contributed anything worthy of that title. “Let me talk to him,” he decided. “I’ll find out what he thinks and give you green light.”

Jaebum looked at him sceptically. “This sounds too good and selfless, even for you. What do you want in return?”

Mark gave him a wicked grin. “Stop cuddling Jackson at night.”

Jaebum’s cheeks went scarlet again, his secret weakness exposed. “How do you -”

“I know everything.”

“Oh damn. All right. I’ll kill you, if you tell anyone, best friend or not.”

Mark laughed heartily, giving Jaebum’s hands another pat. Just at that moment, Jackson stepped in through the door, first, looking confused to see the misplacement of Mark in his bedroom, then, shocked at the connected hands with Jaebum.

Mark thought about how their roles had been reversed. Instead of letting go of Jaebum’s hands, who pulled at them, he held onto them tighter, earning a confused stare from Jaebum, too.

“What are you guys doing?” In contrast to Mark back then, Jackson didn’t manage to stay calm.

“Oh, you know, we were just having a heart to heart between friends.”

Jackson’s eyes narrowed at Mark and Mark only knew too well how bitter this sentence tasted.

“Jackson, can you give us a few private minutes?” Jaebum said, using his leader voice but Jackson wasn’t having any of it.

“Why?”

“So we can snog,” Mark deadpanned. He loved to throw Jackson’s words right back at him. He also loved how impossibly wide Jackson’s eyes went.

“The heck I will! This is also my bedroom!” Jackson screamed.

Mark bit on his lips. Jaebum pulled his hands out of Mark’s grip and massaged his temples.

“Jackson, please, he’s just joking. Give us five minutes and you can come back in, all right?”

“All right, but only because the leader said so,” Jackson said and looked at Mark a last time before he left in a huff.

Mark burst out laughing as soon as the door closed.

“Was that really necessary?” Jaebum said and threw his pillow at Mark.

Mark dodged and said, “oh, let’s say, it was a little revenge. He said the same thing to me about him and Jinyoung.”

The colour drained from Jaebum’s face. “What? When?”

“A while ago, but don’t worry, he wasn’t being serious.”

“Oh. You do know, though, that Jackson is a tell-tale and the first person he’s going to run to telling about this is Jinyoung, don’t you?”

Mark did. “Don’t worry, my friend,” he repeated. “If Jinyoung gets jealous, it will only work in your favour.”

Five minutes later, Mark knocked on Jinyoung’s door and wasn’t surprised to see Jackson through the glass in there, as well. At least they were sitting far apart this time.

“Come in,” said a rough voice.

“Hey, Jinyoung, I’m going out for a meal, do you want to go with me?”

“No,” said Jinyoung, cleaning his nose.

“Oh. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, everything’s fine, Hyung. Thank you very much,” he said, his expression controlled. Great, Mark’s first step of the plan to get Jinyoung to talk to him in private totally failed. “Why don’t you order something?”

Mark did consider this, thinking about his favourite places. “Because Jil’hal’s doesn’t deliver, neither does the Samgyeopsal restaurant.”

“Oh.”

“All right, then, I’ll keep going,” he turned to leave, when a voice called him back.

“Hey!”

“What?”

“Didn’t you forget anything?” It was Jackson.

Mark chewed on his lips and scratched behind his ear, his heart skipped a beat, because, unlike earlier, Jackson talked to him directly. “What?” he repeated.

“Why did you only ask Jinyoung? Why don’t you ask me?”

Warmth filled his stomach. Avoiding Jackson turned out to be his favourite layer of the enigma. It got him the best reactions. “Do you want to go out with me?” Mark kicked himself mentally for his wording. His tongue usually betrayed him like this, when he got nervous.

“No,” said Jackson, yet he blushed.

Mark lifted both hands in question.

“But only, because you didn’t ask me first and I had to remind you,” said Jackson.

“Whatever,” he said and reclosed the door nonchalantly.

“Hey, are you seriously going without me now?” said Jackson through the door. “At least, buy us a burger on your way!”

In secret, he wasn’t nonchalant at all. In secret, he found even the way they fought adorable.

On his way out, he shook his head in Jaebum’s direction, Jaebum would have to wait for his green light.

Jaebum smiled bitterly. “This means another night of cuddles for me, I guess.”

Mark stood still. “Forget your stupid cuddles for a moment.”

“Well, stop me, if you can, what do I have to lose?”

“You mean, besides your hair?”

“Ha, ha. That was low, even for you.”

Mark laughed. “Sorry about that.”

“This means two more nights.”

“Forget it,” Mark repeated and pointed his finger to Jaebum’s chest. “You and me, we’re going to do something better. You order whatever you want to eat, I’ll go, get my food and in 15 minutes, we’ll meet again on the couch to have a movie night. Sounds like a plan?”

Jaebum lowered his eyes and smiled a little. “Sounds like a date. Are you offering yourself instead of Jackson? That’s so heroic, Mark.”

Mark’s blood froze. “Totally not. Totally. Not.”

Jaebum’s mouth split open in a wide grin. “All right, go now. Don’t forget to buy me something sweet on your way, honey.”

Mark choked. “You know what? You’ll get something goddamn sweet, honey.”

The last thing Mark heard before he closed the apartment-door was Jackson’s low-bass scream. “Mark-hyung, wait!”

Jackson opened the door again and clumsily slipped into a pair of sneakers, which Mark knew weren’t his own.

A second later, Mark was tackled into the wall of their corridor just outside of their dormitories. “What the heck, Jackson?”

“Tell me,” Jackson started by breathing into his face, “why you’re so lovey-dovey smoochie smoochie with our leader, all of a sudden?”

“Lovey-dovey smoochie smoochie, seriously?”

“Tell me,” said Jackson with the most serious expression.

“Get off me, that’s none of your business.”

“It is!” Jackson was breathing harder, his hands Mark’s shirt.

Mark raised his eyebrows. “Oh really? How so? Tell me how the this does concern you, Jackson, because now I’m interested.”

Jackson gaped at him. “Because… because you’re breaking the other members' hearts. Because Yugyeom’s going to cry… so will Youngjae and Bambam and Jinyoung… and I can’t do nothing and just stand by.”

“Oh please,” said Mark and rolled his eyes, ignoring the erratic beating of Jackson’s heart against his own. “Don’t tell me you’re still convinced by your stupid theory that everybody is in love with me!”

“They are!” yelled Jackson.

Mark looked left and right. “Jackson, shut it, the neighbours are going to come out.”

“They are, they have to be,” said Jackson in a calmer voice.

“Did you even ask them? Any of them?”

Jackson shook his head. “It has to be true.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s true for me.” Jackson murmured in the softest tone.

Mark became a statue for a good minute. The only thing that went into overdrive was his brain. Not in his wildest dreams had he imagined such a scenario. How come he hadn’t seen such an outcome? Something was not right. His calculations didn’t add up to this. There was a sentence that didn’t fit into his logical conclusions. “But you said you had nothing to be jealous of.”

Jackson loosened his fists on Mark’s shirt and shoved a hand between the wall and Mark’s back of neck, him tenderly. “I lied.”

Mark’s heart stood still as Jackson’s lips ghosted over his own.

“I’m always jealous, if it concerns you.”

Mark’s next staggering heartbeat came with Jackson’s mouth connecting to his delicately, relinking his soul to his being with a breath of life.

A/N: Hi, hope you enjoyed reading! Thanks to Joker_hyphen and Megafaggot11 for the two comments on chapter 7 and to chuichi for the comments on the previous chapters! I really appreciate it. This story is extended by one more chapter.