CH 22 - Jongwoon
KISMETHe found himself in the mood to talk again. His conversation with Kyuhyun about whatever was in his mind totally helped him. He knew that he should really be opening up about his feelings more, maybe to a friend or maybe to his brother as what his shrink would always tell him, but Siwon's request to make their relationship a secret to everybody hinders that. The other day in the pond only happened because Kyuhyun overheard him talking through his phone. He didn't mention Siwon though, just his own feelings and thoughts about his predicament. Kyuhyun, thankfully, didn't ask who he was in a relationship with. So overall, he thinks that he hasn't really broken his promise to his boyfriend.
'Boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend? Did we break up though? Or was that just me cooling it off with him? Is there a difference anyway?' His mind was filled with those questions. But the good thing is that he didn't feel like secluding himself to the people surrounding him anymore.
A few days after however, he found himself telling Ryeowook about Siwon. He had to tell someone. Someone he trusts. He didn't know if Ryeowook was the best choice, really. He cannot tell Heechul because he'd freak out. No, he'd lash out. He'll make a scene. He's the type to do that. Well, it's not like Siwon was anywhere near to worry about that, but Heechul has his ways, and it's enough to scare Jongwoon. He cannot tell Taeyeon too, because what Taeyeon knows, Heechul will know too.
Anyway, Ryeowook was the one there. Coincidentally, it was him who asked if he was feeling fine already, and so it became his opening to ask the other if he has the time of the day. Ryeowook said yes, and so he shared to Ryeowook everything. His dongsaeng faithfully listening to him all through out.
He started from the beginning, which was basically a year ago. They met Siwon because he was in the drama club. The drama club and their own club had a joint project for a Musicale, and Jongwoon and Siwon worked closely because of that. Siwon made efforts to become close to him and eventually courted him. It wasn't long before Jongwoon gave in. He had a crush on Siwon maybe even before the guy took notice of him. Or maybe not. He isn't sure. But what he was sure of was that it was mutual, and so they hit it off right away. Siwon however asked him to make their relationship unknown from everybody. And he respects that. He tells Ryeowook that he really does.
It wasn't even his issue. The issue which irks him is Siwon who breaks his promise everytime. It affects his mood and he cannot do anything about it. Whenever Siwon doesn't try and communicate with for days, it will dampen his spirits. And just days ago, he probably was full of it. He told the other that he cannot do it anymore, and that he needed time to think.
"Was I just being clingy? Am I being selfish? Did I do the right thing?" Jongwoon asked the younger, with pleading eyes.
"Oh hyung... I never knew about what you are going through... You should have told me earlier and not be burdened by this alone"
"Wookie, I told you. I didn't want to break my promise to Siwon"
"But he keeps on breaking his!"
'That's true', he thought. He sighed.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. To answer your questions hyung, I don't think that you're being clingy. It's just normal to want to talk to your partner, because you are in a relationship, and he's away. It's understandable to want to talk to that person of course. I just... I just don't understand why he could actually go by a day not talking to you"
"Well, he's really busy. When he was here, it's the same because of his modeling work, but it just became worse now."
"Ah hyung! Do you hear yourself? You are still defending him."
Jongwoon just shrugged. No point denying that, because inside his head there's truly a Jongwoon who tells him to break everything up with Siwon and get over it, and there's a Jongwoon who says that he is in love, and thus, he should stay.
"Do you want my opinion?"
"Yes please"
"I think what you did what right. I mean, at least now. I am not saying go break up with him. It's clear that you want to be with him. You wouldn't be this affected if you don't right?"
"I guess..."
"But a cool-off is the best course hyung. Let him think of your situation. And it's his call now. See what he'll do now."
Jongwoon was nodding. 'Sure, I can do that. He can ignore me for days? I should ignore him for days and give him a taste of his own medicine right? But wait...'
"What if..."
"If he gives up hyung, then it's his loss."
"You're just saying that because I'm your friend" Jongwoon said, as he smiled towards the younger.
"No Jongwoon-hyung. I am saying that because it's true"
☁ ☁ ☁
Jongwoon was in a cheerful mood when the joint meeting between the 2 clubs was held in the auditorium at a Saturday. He was with Wendy and Ryeowook who were playing that game where they hit each other's hand if caught. They were waiting for their advisers to come up with the decisions on what play to do and who will be the possible cast based on the suggestion of the members.
It has been 4 days since he last talked to Siwon. He decided that he needed time to not think about such worries. He tried to focus on school work (Math!!!) and his life as a club President. All these plus an additional task in anticipation of the upcoming Musicale, and he does have a lot in his plate already. He used them all as distractions. And it was definitely working pretty well.
However, his 'me first and me alone' time was coming to an end. He didn't realize that a tall guy with sleek hair and serious demeanor by the entrance of the auditorium has been looking at him for some minutes already as he was playing and laughing with his clubmates. It was Ryeowook who realized that it was Siwon by the door. Ryeowook, knowing full well that he was supposed to 'not know' about them didn't make it obvious as he whispered to him "He's here, don't look. 4 o'clock"
Wendy, the ever loud girl that she is said "Hey what is it? I wanna know too!"
"Nothing I just told hyung to ditch you next time because you are so competitive it ruins the game!"
"No Ryeowook-oppa! I promise I won't be a bad sport anymore... c'mon..."
Ryeowook continued to play games with Wendy and the others continued with whatever else they were doing, while Jongwoon tried to stay calm. He didn't want to turn to Siwon's direction.
Once the the advisers, including LSM gathered them all, announcements were made. Kibum, Sungmin and Jongwoon were chosen to portray siblings of a Kingdom. It was a historical piece. It was explained that 2 would need to sing. All 3 of them though must at least have the same bodily proportion and stance.
All of them, including the other side characters, received applause for being casted. Everyone will be helping out in different committees. The meeting was officially dismissed but some of them stayed put to discuss more details like practice time and dates. Some of those who stayed aside from Jongwoon was Kibum, Kyuhyun and Sungmin. Later he realized that Siwon stayed as well. He kept on looking at him, probably waiting for a chance to talk.
Sungmin and Kyuhyun moved towards him as the 2 casted as main characters congratulated each other. Sungmin went on first and Kyuhyun stayed with him to help out on certain stuff. He randomly asked if he knew Siwon.
"He's been looking at you for a while now"
"R-really? Uhh yeah uhm he's a Drama Club member", Jongwoon said, realizing that Kyuhyun was a new student that year. Siwon was pretty much popular in the campus, but he was not there in the first half of the semester, so it's understandble that Kyuhyun does not know him at all.
"Anyway, Kyuhyun, you can go now. I'll just finish this myself. Sungmin might be waiting for you already"
"Are you sure?"
"Yep"
And he was right. As soon as Kyuhyun got out of the backstage area, Siwon came in.
"Babe"
Jongwoon sighed. "You were supposed to come back in 2 weeks". He talked to him but he didn't look at him. He really imagined for an amazing and sweet reunion when they'll see each other again but now he was just confused and bothered. He didn't know where they stand. And he wasn't sure what he wanted.
"I came as soon as I can. I told my manager that I have to go home... to you... you kept ignoring my calls, I was afraid ---"
"That's how I feel everytime. Every. Freakin. Time. Don't you understand?" He looked at him now. His voice might have raised a bit. But he was able to stop himself from doing and saying more. There might still be people outside who might see and hear them.
"Let me explain ---"
"Not here please. Someone might see us"
"Jongwoon please hear me out. This can't wait"
"Yes it can!"
"No please. No... listen to me now... I don't care let them see us let them hear... but I just need to tell you something", Siwon pleaded. That was definitely new. He wasn't concerned of people around them? Siwon must actually just want for Jongwoon to hear him out.
"I'm listening"
Siwon took hold of his hands. They didn't hold his hands back but at least he didn't resist.
"I am very sorry for making you feel that way. When you did it to me, I realized how it must have been with you. I am really sorry. I don't have any other reason but really just that I was too busy. I was thinking that I'll just make it up to you when I come back... and now I'm back. That wouldn't be a problem anymore, ok? Please don't be mad at me anymore"
Should he give him another chance? Another one after loads that he already gave from before?
"What did you do? You were not supposed to go home this early", he didn't realize it but his voice was definitely softer since they started talking.
"I made up some emergency excuse to my manager... I..." Siwon sighed. Hands holding Jongwoon's are tighter as ever. "When you said that you can't do it anymore. I can't go on with my activities anymore. I was not on my right mind after you said that and especially that you stopped our calls and chats. I just had to go home, and soon"
Jongwoon nodded.
"So you forgive me now babe?"
"..."
"Are you still mad at me?"
Jongwoon shooked his head.
"Are you sure? Are we good now? You're not breaking up with me right?" Siwon transferred 1 of Jongwoon's hand so that he was holding the 2 in 1 of his hand, the his other hand touched Jongwoon's chin to raise his face up to look at him. "You're still with me right? "
Jongwoon nodded.
"Thank you. For this chance again Jongwoon. I'm really sorry. It won't happen again, I promise. I love you so much", and then he took Jongwoon's lips to his. Jongwoon didn't return the kiss at first, but he cannot stop himself later on because he knew that he missed Siwon.
They were in the middle of a kissing session, not minding that they were in school property, when such was abruptly stopped because of a sound of something from outside of the door.
"Someone's out there" Jongwoon whispered.
"Hmm I don't think so. And as of now, I really don't care babe", and Siwon proceeded to kiss him again.
End of CH.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Hi!
It's been so long!!!!!! I know, and I am very sorry.
Thanks so much for all those who has checked up on me and followed up on this story.
Some of you were telling me to not give up on this... Don't worry loves! I won't ever!!!
This is my babe you know ^^
I just had some one-shot ideas that needed writing too so I went and did those first.
If you still haven't seen them, they are entitled:
A Time To Blossom Anew (one-shot, complete, kyusung) and
You And Me, And The Sunrise (part of a two-shot fic but it can stand alone, yewon)
So, uhmm... there. I'm sorry if I make you worry guys. I'll always come back here, I promise.
And I'm not like Masiwon in here. I'll keep my promise. LOL
Comments? :D
- TMFG
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