Trigger Warning: If you have any dislike, feeling of self-conscious, or are disturbed by self-harm and divorce, please do not read. I am not responsible for anything that happens if you continue reading.



Genre: Angst, Fluff

Target Age: Anyone who is a kpop stan

Word Count: 1,878 words
@igot7stuff




~*~


In the winter, the snow can build up slowly, or the blur of white fluff will appear out of nowhere. There are times when that winter snow doesn’t melt until the spring. There are times when that same snow can melt in an hour. It may take a season, or it may take a second. But we never know when it happens. I guess that’s what love is. Love is something that takes a while to fall into, but it can also happen spontaneously. It can melt easily, or it can melt slowly as well. But the person who waits for the snow again, that is who is truly in love. I’ll wait for you, my love. I will wait until the snow falls down from the heavens in which I thank for having the chance of loving you. In truth and reality, I love you. I will wait for you, even if it takes an eternity.


~*~


“Y/N, take my hand.”


My hand was still held out to her, and she finally took it. My heart pulsed as her warm hand met mine, but I kept my composure. I started walking, still holding her hand and pulling her towards a spot I always took her to back in 2nd year high school. I smile at the memories.


“Y/N! Come here, I want to show you something!” I yell out to her across the crowded hallway. I see her head poke up from the crowd and smile. I knew that she was trying to get to me.


She finally gets to me, and I drag her out of school. It’s not like school isn’t over. School was released 15 minutes ago. I drag her into a tall building in the center of downtown. The building was owned by one of my friends, Jaebum’s father. I was greeted by one of the people roaming around the hotel’s lobby. I smile at her. I lead Y/N towards the roof. She gasps once she reaches the top. Lay out on the roof of the building, was a garden filled with beautiful roses. Behind it, the landscape of the city lay out before you.


“It’s beautiful…” She trails off, her eyes gleaming brightly.


I was amazed at how stunned she was, I knew she would like it, but I didn’t expect her to like it this much. Y/N always loved scenery, no matter what type it was, modern on natural.


“Y/N?” I ask.


“Yeah Namjoon?”


“Don’t leave me, ever.”


She smiles, “I won’t Namjoon. If I do, I’ll come right back. I promise,” She says, holding her pinky out. I laugh as I curled my pinky around hers and pressed our thumbs together. That was when I noticed her hand was so tiny…


~*~


I internally laugh, her hand is still as small as it was so long ago. She kept her promise.


The garden was still well taken care of, new flower additions were added, like daisies, and other flowers I didn’t know about. Vines grew along the brick walls next to the door of the staircase, and it look even more majestic than the first time we went up here.


“Namjoon? Why did you bring me up here?”


“No reason, it’s been awhile since we had some time to ourselves. We never had time to catch up either.”


It still hurt me how she left, but I act like it doesn’t, I don’t want to feel it right now. All that matters is that she’s right here in front of me.


“Yeah, we should,” She says sitting on the bench in front of the city landscape. She gestures for me to sit next to her.


I sit down next to her.


“What’s been going on?” She asks.


“Nothing much, BTS comebacks here and there. A lot of work, with dance practices, shows, premieres, and other things to do. How about you?”


“I got a record deal with JYP. I’m a duet artist, part of Xross, I work with name (Guy friend’s name), who I find really cool. He’s a good rapper too. We were paired up because apparently my vocal range matched his range and rapping speed perfectly. (Guy friend’s name) is so weird though,” She laughs and I feel a pang of jealousy in my heart.


“That’s great! I guess you know GOT7 then right?”


“Yeah, Mark and Jaebum are two of my best friends under JYP.”


“And Jackson?”


“Oh we made up! He left because he wanted to go to JYP, and I found it as a valid excuse. But we’re not dating or anything. He found out I had a crush on somebody.”


I felt as if someone ripped my heart out and tossed it into the middle of the highway to be ran over by 100 cars per minute. It hurt. A lot.


“Really? Who is it?” I ask, curious.


She smiles brightly and pokes my nose, “Secret.”


I groan, “Come on Y/N! Tell me! I want to know.”


“No.”


She’s so stubborn. This reminds me so much of what happened a long time ago. It’s like a repeat of the days that passed by back in High School.


“Earth to Namjoon? You there?”


“Yea I’m here. I’m right in front of you aren’t I?” I ask her.


She rolls her eyes, “Anyone you’re interested in?”


“Hmm… yes,” I answer honestly.


“Who is it?” She asks eagerly.


I mock her by poking her nose, “Secret.”


“You’re no fun, Namjoon.”


“You are too Y/N~” I tease.


“I know,” She got better at her comebacks, I’ll give her that.


“Anyway Namjoon, I have to go. I need to get to meet up with the other half of Xross before he get’s mad at me, again,” she groans.


“Okay then. I’ll see you around?” I ask.


“Maybe,” She smiles at me. She heads towards the door and I watch her disappear, the door closing behind her, and I sigh out loud.


“Hey Namjoon?”


“Yea?”


“What do you think it would be like…. To die one day?”


I turn to face Y/N.


“Y/N look at me. I know you are like this only because of your parents arguing on a daily basis,” I push her sleeve up, revealing the fading red lines on her skin, “You don’t need to do this. You don’t need to harm yourself because of two people who don’t realize that there is a person who hears them every night arguing about things that they can just talk about. These lines? You don’t need any more of them. Although, I kind of like them. It shows what you’ve been through. In that way, these scars are beautiful. But I don’t want these lines on your skin anymore, okay Y/N?”


“Namjoon, you don’t understand. My parents, they talk about divorcing. They talk about wanting to kill themselves because they can’t stand what a failure I am. They can’t stand me. Maybe…. Maybe I’m better off dead.”


“No… Y/N, who would I be able to tell my dumb stories with me, or tell me how much I can’t dance, or how my singing is horrible. You won’t be there, so what’s the point of me staying around either. You are my only friend in this world Y/N. Don’t leave me all alone in this cruel place.”


She wipes the tears off her face before continuing to cry into my shoulder.


“Y/N?”


“Hm?”


“I’m always here for you, don’t ever think you are alone, okay?”


She smiles through her tears, “Thank you, Kim Namjoon.”


I smile, yet I wonder if those scars on her skin are still there, or if there are newer ones that I don’t know about.


“Hey Namjoon, what is it like?”


“What is what like Y/N?”


“What is it like to know where you are going in life?”


“Well, to me it’s quite stressful, because you want to get there so desperately you are willing to do anything to get there.”


“I guess…”


“Y/N?”


“Yeah Namnam?” I smile slightly at her use of my old nickname.


“What do you think it’s like… to be in love?”


“Love is such a foreign concept to me, but I think it’s a beautiful sight. To know the person you are destined to be with is right there in front of you, and isn’t anyone else’s but yours. I’ve always read those stories or watched those movies with the same plotline, but never get tired of it because there is always a twist. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love. It’s a common story. That’s the only thing I know about love. I’ve never really experienced it. I guess…. I guess love is something that lets people know, that there is someone out there for him. I’ve always wanted to feel in love. But I guess it will take a while before that happens.”


~*~


I sat there, staring at the ceiling, wondering if she was right or wrong. What is love? Is it a real feeling that bonds you and your other together? Is it just a mutual attraction that somehow grows to something more? I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking the whole concept. I should just, I don’t know, be myself, and wait until something happens.


I stare at the picture on my wall of me and Y/N back in 3rd year high school. This was what got me by all those days after she left. I would always wonder what she was doing aloud, but apparently she’s been making her dream, like I’ve been making mine. I guess it’s ironic. She leaves me, but I would have left her to pursue my dream. At least she wasn’t hurt as much as I was… I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt of leaving her alone.


~*~


“Y/N!”


“Huh?” She turns around and looks at me, “Oh Namjoon! What are you doing here? Don’t you have rehearsals or something?”


“No, we have a week off, we were planning to invite you and GOT7 along with us going to the US. Apparently our manager, and GOT7’s manager agreed to give us a break, although we do have to write our songs during the two week stay. Do you want to come? I’m pretty sure we can sort everything out.”


“Yeah, sure why not?”


~*~


“Wooohoooo!”


I cover my ears as Jimin and BamBam yell from the car that we were in. We had to take 2 vans and a car because we were kind of a big group. 16 of us? No.


We were currently in L.A. in which Jimin was screaming as we drove along the streets. There was so many people, I wondered how many didn’t already think our group was strange.


When we found a good parking spot, we walked out of the vehicles and met up.


“So where do you guys want to go first?” Jackson asked, looking around.


Jimin was the first to answer that question.


“Let’s go to the beach!”