Changkyun wishes that he could turn back the time,that he could rewind the past few weeks,that he could erase those feelings and his actions,that Kihyun eventually would forgive him,that he would stop acting as a jerk and a coward.

But he can't. Real life is not based on our wishes or desires. It's cruel,way too cruel. It makes the silver haired male wanting to scream at it,to hurt it just like it pains him,to curse at it...to do something against it.

But again he can't. It's not that easy and it will never be. He still hopes though that one day it would be easy for him,that one day he will be able to smile from pure happiness not with fakeness as he usually does.

The only time,when Changkyun could feel himself grinning from content and affection,was with his hyung-Kihyun. The pink haired male always makes Changkyun feel at ease,peacful. His smile is like an intake of fresh air,his doe eyes are like the moon-glowing so brightly yet softly. His voice sounds so pure,so soweet,so innocent. It's dripping like honey,yet it has a masculine tone. 

He is really unique. Being so sophisticated,yet also so chrippy. Being serious,yet acting like a child. 

He really is something,something new for Changkyun. Something that he wants to keep in his life. 

~-~

He stares at his shining eyes,at his so blinding smile. He swears that sun is zooming on him,just piss Changkyun even more off,just to make him realize that he,in fact,has started to kind of like Kihyun,just to make see what he has missed.

It is too late. He can't tun back now. What's done,it's done.

,,-Kihyun,do you have plans for the vacantion before the start of the new semester?"-Wonho asks the said male,while he shakes his head ''no''.  

Changkyun widens his eyes as he assimilates the information. How could he forget that their first semster ends in just two weeks and then the vacantion begins,which means that he probably wouldn't see Kihyun for nearly three weeks.

But he just said that he doesn't have plans so maybe,like Changkyun, the pink haired male will stay at the doorms.

,,-What do you mean ''no''! The vacantion starts in two weeks,you know!''- Wonho continues to pressure the male but he ignores him,while calmy sipping his latte. Wonho just sighs and looks at Changkyun,silently asking him if he knows why Kihyun has acted like this and why he continues to like this now. 

Ever since Kihyun had screamed at the young silver haired male that he hates him,the older latter has beeing like not himself. He is quieter then usual. His doe eyes have that aphatic and distant look in them. His expression is showing hostile and coldness.

When he speaks,his voice is plain,void of emotions. He just answers automatically.

That really botheres Changkyun too. The person sitting in front of him right now it's not his hyung,his hyung who always is smiling when he is wth his friends,who laughs at their lame jokes,especially Changkyun's, who smiles brightly when he sees his friends chatting with each other,who watches them with care.

Changkyun feels like this person is gone now and he really wants him back,he really wishes for the before,for the past because the present is scaring him,it makes him even more insecure about the future.

~-~

,,Did my heart love till now?''(Romeo and Juliet)

Changkyun listens to his literature teacher as he reads some paragraphs from the fameous love story. 

He doesn't like this kind of sloppy things so he doesn't really pays him much attention or bothers to take notes but when he hears that questions,he stops gazing at the window and looks down at the blank papers of his notebook.

,, Do I really like Kihyun hyung that much?"