I am not honest, in fact i am cold especially to the one i love. How hypocritical I can smile at everyone even the ones i hate. When im in front of him I get scared. I admire him so much, his ability to stay calm when I get mad. His ability to rationalize me when I get into petty moods. But Im worried that someone like me would erase his smile, his so precious smile. I dont want to be the one to be the one to make him more unhappy than he already is. Behind that smile of his sadness is hidden. I dont usually notice worldly things nor do I tend to care so much about someone. But him, a man older than me. A man that i want to protect from the sideline, I want to peacefully look over him. Should I feel this way for this older man. Its a warm and weird feeling that I want to hold into, I just cant seem to let go no matter how much I want to. Like a first love, a love from a distance that only blossom in your heart. Is something wrong with me?
"Taehyun? What are you doing?" My head started spinning just hearing his voice. I forced a frown, only glaring at him slightly before going back to my writing.
"You kinda have been avoiding me lately" he said visibly disappointed.
Its for your own good, I thought.
Im not honest...I would want to push you against a wall and mess with you....but in fact i am cold to you. Sometimes I dont know what to do im scared of going over the edge. He approached placing a hand on my shoulder, making me drop my pen.
"If something is wrong you can tell your hyung" he said visibly forcing a smile. I hate when he does that.
Everything is wrong, I am wrong, you are wrong...
"Dont touch me" I said too loudly. I stood up with force making him jump heading towards the door. He walked fast enough to block me, closing the door a