-if I'm Stephen Hawking, you're the Theory to my Everything-

*This chapter contains profanity. Even more so than normal.*

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Heehyun didn’t want to be here anymore. The vibe of this place to put it lightly, kinda .

The redhead looked around the large reception area she was currently in and observed all the nervous faces around her, each looking as if they were going to pass out at any moment and Heehyun has been standing here for the past half an hour sincerely wishing that they didn’t because she wouldn’t know how to deal with that kind of situation. The heavy air and nervous atmosphere was starting to affect her as well so she decided to train her gaze on to the fancy cars driving past the window outside.

Seoul was definitely a huge change of pace from the life she was used to, and it wasn’t a change that she was comfortable with. The environment was too loud, the streets were too busy, the lights were too bright, the people too…perfect? Why was everyone so unrealistically perfect looking? It was almost as if every single person walking down the street was endorsing some kind of beauty product. Was it the water here in the city? Should she bring a few bottles back home with her?

“Number 3629! Number 3629 please make your way to the double doors at the end of the corridor!”

Heehyun turned to look at the woman with the clipboard who had called out the number, watching as a beautiful girl with shoulder-length black hair walk up to the said woman before disappearing behind the afore-mentioned double doors. The girl appeared poise, as if she’s been subjected to these things a hundred times before but Heehyun still noticed the way the girl’s hands seemed to tremble slightly as she pulled the handle to the doors open.

“Wow…JYP Entertainment is seriously no joke. Look at how pretty all these people who came to audition are…” Jieqiong said in awe from beside her, voicing out Heehyun’s exact thoughts.

“Have you noticed the way everyone is looking at you though Jie? It’s been a year since highschool and you’re still the prettiest girl in the room. Urgh if your life had a face I would punch it.” Yeonjung said to the Chinese beauty, and it was true. Heehyun herself noticed the occasional wary glances in their direction, and she was pretty sure none of those cautious looks was meant for her.

“I have no idea why they’re looking at me like that. It’s kinda scary.” Jieqiong answered sheepishly and Doyeon poked the Chinese girl in the stomach as a form of reply. “They’re probably wondering why you don’t have a number pinned to your shirt since you already look like an idol.”

“Well it’s obviously because I’m not the one auditioning! I’m just here to support Lil’ Miss Enthusiastic who doesn’t seem to be that enthusiastic anymore. Where is she anyways?”

“Probably still in the bathroom. Should someone check up on her to make sure she hasn’t drowned herself or something in there?” Chungha suggested, trying to sound nonchalant but everyone knew she was a nervous wreck inside. Chungha had spent a good portion of the past 6 months guiding her star pupil and teaching her everything she knew in regards to dance, juggling between passing her own university courses and making a star out of a pebble all in preparation for this day.

“I’ll go.” Heehyun volunteered with a sigh. Truth be told she just really needed to get away from the suffocating air of the JYP reception area. She felt like she was literally inhaling all the nerves the potential trainees were exhaling as they breathed.

Before her friends could say anything she had already started walking towards the bathroom, brushing shoulders with pale faces and sidestepping past last minute choreo rehearsals. Heehyun understood why these girls were so nervous, because they were literally about to enter a room that determined if they could continue on with their dreams. Heehyun could respect them for it, because she herself was never one to have dreams big enough to chase after. That was probably how she ended up studying for a degree in marketing in a small university close to her home. It wasn’t because she had a particular interest in marketing, it was because she had no clue what she wanted to do and marketing seemed an easy enough option.

It’s been a year since she’s graduated from highschool. Dani, her loving girlfriend of close to two years has taken to studying journalism in the same university as her, although Heehyun was sure that her girlfriend only chose that university because of Heehyun herself instead of attending a more prestigious institution in Seoul like Jieqiong and Nayoung did.

Heehyun was initially surprised at how empty the bathroom was as she walked in, but a soft wailing sound akin to a walrus that has just stubbed it’s toe echoed throughout the linoleum walls and Heehyun immediately knew the reason why the bathroom was empty of people. She kinda pitied all the previous hopefuls who had tried to escape into the bathroom to clear their thoughts and nerves only to be met with Myrtle wailing her heart out. Heehyun shook her head and she would have laughed if the wailing didn’t sound so pitiful.

Approaching the only locked cubicle in the bathroom, Heehyun gently rapped her knuckles on the door to get the attention of the girl behind it. Her friend, the potential JYP Entertainment trainee. The girl who has locked herself in a toilet. Seriously. Why a toilet? Why not a broom cupboard or someplace a little bit more sanitary?

“Yo.” Heehyun called out, but the wailing still continued. Heehyun changed her mind. It wasn’t the sound of a walrus that has just stubbed it’s toe, it was more like a blue whale with labor pains.

“Yo Penguin.” Heehyun tried again, knocking on the door slightly harder this time but the wailing still persisted.

“Sohye?”

The wailing stopped abruptly then, and Heehyun breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure how much more of that she could take.

Heehyun could hear sounds of shuffling from the other side of the door before a small, weak voice replied her. “I-I’ll be out in a minute unnie.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you will. You want to open this door now?”

“N-No! I’m…I’m taking a poop right now!”

“Oh sweet. Lemme see!”

“Cathy-unnie that’s gross!”

“This bathroom is gross, now open up! Don’t make me huff, puff and blow that door down cause I have no idea what I’ll huff in this place.”

There was a moment of silence that made Heehyun question if she actually needed to open the door by force, but a microcosm of a second later the distinctive sound of the metallic latch being opened from inside the cubicle resonated in the now quiet bathroom.

Heehyun wasted no time in pushing the now unlocked door open and when she did she was greeted with a sight that probably would have shook her if she had a tad bit more human emotion left in her cold heart. Or so Heehyun would have you believe. Truth was, she found the sight of Sohye sitting on the toilet seat with her eyes all puffy and tears streaming down her cheeks (she was fully dressed, thank god) completely upsetting.

For someone who got pulled into their group semi-against her will about a year ago, Sohye had assimilated quite organically. The shy, socially-inept MegaLoserNerd™ was quite endearing in her own way and the girls grew attached to the Penguin very quickly. Heehyun on the other hand, was in a way just about as socially-inept as Sohye so it took them awhile to get comfortable around each other.

The turning point of their relationship was when Heehyun stumbled upon a group of girls ganging up on Sohye behind the gym one day while the redhead was skipping class. The girls were seemingly unsatisfied with how close Sohye was to their Supreme Goddess™ Jieqiong or something. Heehyun wasn’t really paying attention to their reasoning nor did she really care. All she needed to know was that Sohye was looking up at those girls with fear and tears in her eyes and that was enough for the redhead to bust into the scene with a flying kick that would make her Kamen Rider Oppas proud.

Heehyun doesn’t remember much about that day, but Sohye would always gladly retell the story about how Cathy the Savior came to her rescue, literally kicking everyone’s and shouting “Sohye is under my protection!” to the bullies’ scattering backs. Nobody dared mess with Sohye throughout the remainder of her time in highschool, and Heehyun had grown very fond and protective of her Penguin in due time. It was to the point that she saw and treated Sohye like she would her younger sister, and in response to that the latter would affectionately call her “unnie” although they were only a few months apart in age.

Sohye really came into her own after highschool though. She received a late growth spurt, she grew her hair out, she had lost weight and most prominently she became more comfortable in her own skin, giving rise to a confidence that was not present in her days as the MegaLoserNerd™ and Heehyun watched on like a proud older sibling.

What she didn’t expect though, was Sohye coming up to her one day and telling her that she wanted to become an idol. It was almost like a cruel joke to Heehyun. It frustrated her at first, how this horrible career path keeps drawing the people she cares about in not unlike a succubus does, but all it took was one look into Sohye’s determined eyes and suddenly she’s back in that playground 2 and a half years ago when she couldn’t stop Chaeyeon from leaving. Just like back then, Heehyun couldn’t find it within herself to stop Sohye either. Her precious little Penguin. How could someone so precious withstand the rough idol life? She hasn’t even auditioned yet and she’s already crying in the agency’s bathroom. Heehyun was determined to be here for Sohye though, because she wasn’t there when Chaeyeon had auditioned.

“This isn’t the face a future JYP Trainee should be making, is it now?” Heehyun gently asked, cupping Sohye’s cheeks in her hands and trying her best to wipe the tear tracks away with her thumbs.

“Is this better?” Sohye gave Heehyun her best attempt at a smile, but it just came to look as if the younger girl was squinting into the sun because her face was numb from all the crying. Heehyun couldn’t help but laugh at the expression.

“Now you look like you’re legitimately holding back a .”

Sohye gave Heehyun an appalled look and the latter just grinned cheekily in return. At least the younger girl didn't look constipated anymore. Heehyun leaned her back against the door of the bathroom stall and watched as Sohye tried to compose herself infront of her.

"So....what's the matter?"

"I'm nervous."

"Okay. How can I help you with that?"

"Kill me."

"Urgh I don't need that on my conscience. Want me to audition with you? That's what Dani did for Chae."

Sohye looked up at her with eyes that either sparkled from hope or the remainder of her tears. "Would you really unnie??"

"Nope. I might actually end up passing it. What am I supposed to do then? Leave my marketing degree?"

Heehyun could see Sohye visibly deflate at her words, and maybe it was the sadistic side of her surfacing but the redhead kinda enjoyed teasing her lil penguin like this.

"How are you so confident that you'll pass?" Sohye meekly asked.

"Sohye please. I'm amazing."

"....I wish I could have half the confidence you have unnie."

The satisfied grin that was on Heehyun's face morphed into a soft smile as she saw her precious little balloon of insecurity manage to deflate herself even further.

"Sohye come here." Heehyun asked in a tone so gentle it was very unlike Heehyun. Sohye looked up with a confused expression but she got up off the toilet seat anyways, slowly stumbling her way into the older girl's outstretched arms where she was welcomed into one of the warmest hugs she’s ever received. Heehyun has never really shown any sign of physical affection towards Sohye because the older girl was a cold and heartless dumb-dumb but the old adage rings true in that there was a first time for everything and as far as first hugs go, this wasn't a bad start at all.

“This is nice but…why are we hugging again?” Sohye asked, voice muffled by how tightly Heehyun was hugging her.

“I’m trying to transfer some of my confidence to you through osmosis. Can you feel it working?”

“This…this isn’t how osmosis works. As your former tutor I’m extremely ashamed.”

“Shush stupid Penguin. Your negativity is interfering with the transfer process.”

Sohye couldn’t help but laugh at Heehyun, but she had to admit that she definitely was feeling better. Maybe not a lot more confident, but definitely a lot more calmer. The redhead still hadn’t let go of her though, and she was wondering since when was Heehyun this clingy.

“I hate this industry. It keeps taking the people I care about away from me.”

It was almost whispered, so low that Sohye probably would have missed it if Heehyun’s lips wasn’t so close to her ear. A wave of sympathy washed over the younger girl in realization that this wasn’t the first time the redhead had to see someone close to her leave. She had lost Chaeyeon to the industry, and based on what Sohye had heard Dani nearly left to be an idol as well. Why was Heehyun this sad though? It was an audition, not a definite pass. The strength of which Heehyun was currently holding onto her was testament to the redhead’s confidence that Sohye was going to pass the audition, and in a weird way that was what gave Sohye a shred more confidence then she started out with.

Heehyun finally separated from Sohye, backing far enough away so that Sohye had space to breathe but her hands were still clutching the younger girl’s shoulders tightly, those green eyes boring holes into Sohye’s.

“Sohye, do you want to be a singer?”

The question took Sohye by surprise, and it took a moment for her to answer it although she knew it with every fiber of her being. She had spent her whole life being ostracized, being ignored, being bullied, living with negative self-esteem and a fear of situations that required social interactions. Sohye wanted this. Sohye wants to be popular. Sohye wants to be confident. Sohye needed to know what it was like to be accepted not just by her friends and family, but by people in general.

So Sohye just nodded, words failing to leave her but she choked slightly when she caught a glimpse of those piercing green eyes turn a tad bit watery before Heehyun turned around to exit the bathroom, pulling Sohye along by the wrist in the process.

“Then let’s go ahead and make you a singer, shall we?”

***********************************************

Sohye spent a longer time behind the imposing double doors compared to most of the other girls before her. Dani and Somi had managed to arrive in the city before the Penguin had finished auditioning (Somi still had school, so Dani had insisted on staying back to accompany the maknae on the journey over because it 'wasn't safe for Somi to ride a train alone' or something like that). The two of them had gone ahead and found a place to grab a few drinks while Heehyun, Doyeon, Jieqiong, Chungha and Yeonjung waited for Sohye to finish up.

The pair had somehow managed to sneak Somi into a bar despite the girl being underage, which wasn’t much of a surprise considering Dani and Somi could probably charm their way into anything. To the establishment’s credit however the bar wasn’t really one that looked like they served minors often. It wasn’t a shady looking joint, it had more lights than grime.

Sohye’s audition just so happened to take place a week after Dani’s birthday, so they decided to make a day of it and celebrate her birthday in Seoul for a change while they were in the big city. Dani was the last within their group to turn 19 (besides Somi of course) which was a pretty momentous occasion because being 19 means you’re legal to drink, and based on the evil glint in Doyeon and Yeonjung’s eyes Heehyun suspected they were planning on getting Dani plastered tonight.

The conversation at the table currently seemed to revolve around Sohye’s earlier audition, just because the Penguin had emerged from the room looking paler than a homeschooled recluse that has never seen the sun and any attempt at asking her how it went was met with a small “it was horrible.”

“Oh c’mon Sohye I’m sure it wasn’t THAT bad!” Chungha pushed on, wanting to get details because frankly she had created Sohye’s choreography and she didn’t want to be the reason her friend had flopped.

“No no no you don’t get it! They asked me what my name was and I said YOUR name! I couldn’t even get my own name right!” Sohye nearly cried as she gestured to the dancer across from her and they really wanted to sympathize with Sohye but they were trying their best to hold in their laughter.

“You WHAT?!” Doyeon looked like she was having the time of her life, not even trying to hide the fact that Sohye’s anguish was giving the taller girl life.

“Why on earth was Chungha’s name the first one you could think of?” Jieqiong asked, sounding disbelieving and astonished at the same time.

“Because I was going through the choreo that she thought me in my head and it just sorta…slipped out. I had to re-introduce myself twice I’m such a failure....” Sohye had her face buried in her hands at this point, which was a pretty good thing because the poker face that the group (besides Doyeon) was trying to show was slipping one by one.

“And then? And then what happened?”

“…I told them I got confused because Chungha was my stage name.”

“You’re joking!!” Somi screamed out, being the first to lose the battle and laughed right in Sohye’s face, but the others weren’t far behind.

“So wait, if you debut as a singer they’ll probably be calling you Chungha?! What?? Oh my god this is too good!” Jieqiong was laughing so hard she was literally slapping every surface she could reach, from the surface of the table to Yeonjung’s knee.

 “Oh my gosh I can’t wait for you to debut! Hey Chungha forget being a choreographer, it looks like you’re debuting in a girl group after all!” Yeonjung elbowed Chungha’s side while the latter nodded in agreement. “All my dreams are coming true thanks to Sohye!”

Poor Sohye looked as if she wanted to die. Heehyun jotted it down to the third time this week that she’s caught the Penguin contemplating off-ing herself. Still a pretty normal amount where Sohye is concerned.

“How are you holding up babe?” Heehyun turned to the girl next to her as the rest of the girls continued making fun of Sohye. Dani was swirling around the remainder of her cup of soju, eyebrows furrowed as she stared intently at the translucent liquid sloshing about.

“Am I actually supposed to like this? It kinda tastes like a mixture of turpentine and regret.”

“That’s funny, the regret is supposed to set in much later.” Heehyun joked, and Dani just scoffed in response to her girlfriend.

"You don’t actually have to drink it if you don’t like it. I can take your shots for you.” Heehyun offered, taking her girlfriend’s hand into her own and giving it a reassuring squeeze. In all honesty it hasn’t been that long since the redhead has started drinking as well, with her 19^th birthday only having taken place about 5 months ago. She has been drinking up a storm since drinking became legal to her though, so she assumes her alcohol tolerance would be able to handle it for one night.

Dani beamed at the lifeline thrown to her, and kissed Heehyun’s cheek in gratitude while softly whispering “My hero” into her girlfriend’s ear. It was at that moment that Heehyun decided maybe dying of alcohol poisoning wasn’t really the worst way one could go.

*************************************************

Kim Doyeon is a lunatic.

Kim Doyeon is trying to get her killed.

Kim Doyeon is currently nodding in affirmation.

Turns out Kim Doyeon can also read minds.

Heehyun currently hates Kim Doyeon.

The tall brunette had somehow caught on that Dani was passing Heehyun all of the alcohol she had diligently poured for the birthday girl, effectively halting her efforts of seeing Dani the Saint plastered for the first time in her life. In retaliation, Doyeon had decided to switch targets to Heehyun instead and after having downed several bottles of soju the only thing stopping the redhead from punching the manic grin off Kim Doyeon’s face was the fact that she was currently seeing 5 of her.

She was taking all the shots for Dani which in Heehyun’s mind made her some kind of hero on par with Superman or Doraemon at the very least but currently she really didn’t feel like a hero. She felt like a floor mat with legs, or something of the like. Really Heehyun just needed to take a walk or something because she was starting to lose all feeling in her legs.

“I need to use the washroom.” Heehyun announced, garnering the attention of everyone at the table.

“I’ll go with you, you look like you can barely walk.” Yeonjung offered, looking genuinely concerned for the redhead.

“I’m walking just fine thank youuu. See? Watch me walk. I’m walking.”

“Unnie you’re still sitting down.” Sohye interjected, and Heehyun did her best attempt at glaring under the influence but the Penguin didn’t seem all too fazed by Heehyun squinting at her.

“I…shut up nerd.” Heehyun gave up glaring because it hurt her head, and instead decided to prove a point by actually standing up. Although a bit wobbly, she managed somehow. “See? Like a pro.” Honestly the look of genuine astonishment on their faces was borderline insulting. She wasn’t that bad at holding her liquor.

“It’s almost as if you’ve been walking your whole life. I’m impressed.” Doyeon made a show of applauding the redhead, and Heehyun flipped the lanky brunette off in response.

Heehyun made it to the bathroom with sheer pride driving her because she didn’t want to stumble and ask for Yeonjung’s help, although the auburn-haired loudmouth followed closely behind her just to be sure. Once there she made a beeline for the nearest empty cubicle while Yeonjung shook her head in disbelief.

“Sooo….hows you and Doyeoniee?” Heehyun asked from inside the stall, completely ignoring the fact that they were probably not alone in the bathroom.

“You’re drunk. I’m not having a washroom heart-to-heart with you when you’re this drunk.” Yeonjung responded while washing her hands and scrutinizing her reflection in the mirror, picking out random lint that somehow managed to settle on her eyebrows.

“Ahhh au-contraire it’s a perfect time to have a heart-to-heart because I probably won’t remember a single thing after this.”

“Au-contraire? Is that French? Do you always speak French when you’re drunk?”

“Si.”

“That’s Spanish.”

“I’m an international drunk.”

“You’re…something alright.” Heehyun let out an uncharacteristic giggle at Yeonjung’s defeated sigh, and the latter swore that she’s never heard anything more demonic in her life.

Yeonjung contemplated her options, and she really didn’t feel like doing a Sohye and getting all emotional with Heehyun inside a bathroom of all places but the redhead did have a point, and she’s been having a lot on her mind anyways. What’s the harm in opening up once in awhile?

“I think I’m in love with her.”

The door of the bathroom stall swung open violently behind her and Yeonjung yelped in surprise, swinging her arms around madly in self-defence from any crazed bathroom-ninjas but instead she saw Heehyun leering at her, green eyes looking a lot more sober then a few minutes ago. The redhead had a grin on her face that stretched from ear to ear and Yeonjung wondered if she had made a mistake.

“Does she know? Tell me moree tell me moarr~” Heehyun urged in a sickeningly sweet voice and Yeonjung decided that Cathy Ki was a scary drunk.

“Nah. I’m not sure if telling her is even an option. I mean, I think she likes me back. We’ve been acting out that Junggigo and Soyou song for about a year now but I just don’t know. I’m not even supposed to like girls, but…it’s her. It’s Doyeon. She’s not just another girl.” Yeonjung explained, deciding that she’s already in this deep might as well have that heart to heart she was promised.

“I think she might be waiting for you to tell her. She probably knows you’re having a bit of conflict in you, so you should tell her once you’re ready.”

Yeonjung blinked at the redhead infront of her. That was actually pretty sound advice. Was Heehyun only pretending to be drunk just to get her to open up?

“Boop! Heeheehee your nose is like a button!” Heehyun giggled as she tapped her friend’s nose out of the blue.

Okay. Heehyun is drunk. So she’s a scary and wise drunk. Yeonjung laughed slightly and decided to drag her crazy friend back to their seat before she got anymore out of hand. Dani the Saint should be better at handling a drunk demon.

Exiting the washroom while making sure her redheaded drunk was following closely behind her, Yeonjung carefully navigated past crowded booths and passing waitresses. She passed by one table in particular which was occupied by 4 girls who were dressed to the nines, fancy dresses and sparkly jewelry adorning them as they were animatedly talking about something. Slightly curious as to what topics fancy city girls would talk about, Yeonjung tried to subtly eavesdrop on their conversation as she scooted past their table.

“….could a like that Jung Chaeyeon date my oppa? How dare she?!”

Wait what?

“DIA is a ty group anyways. I bet they’re out their pathetic visual to other guy groups just so that they can be famous. How many other guys do you think she’s been with before my Zico-oppa?”

“I know! Urgh I can never stand girls like that. She should just DIE for all I car—“

Oh. Oh no. They were gossiping about Chaeyeon. Yeonjung wondered why she was surprised. Chaeyeon was a famous idol now, appearing in variety shows and being the lead in a currently popular drama series. Of course she would be the talk of the town, and of course not all of the ‘talking’ being done would be positive. Success breeds hatred, and Chaeyeon was very successful. Yeonjung would have turned to give those girls a piece of her mind for badmouthing her friend but she was slightly intimidated, being in unfamiliar territory and all. Not to mention the fact that these girls were taller than her. Especially the giant one sitting in the far corner. Yeesh. Yeonjung just hoped that Heehyun was too drunk to notice what they were talking about.

“Excuse me? What was that? Would you like to finish that sentence? Please finish the rest of that sentence. Please I beg you to finish it.”

Oh ing hell.

“Cathy wtf are you doing?” Yeonjung harshly whispered into Heehyun’s ear but the redhead brushed it off, already a bit too fired up for her own (and Yeonjung’s) good.

“Oh don’t mind meee I just want to know what Miss Pottymouth here has to say about myy beloved Chaeyeoniee”

“Your Chaeyeon? What are you some kind of crazy lesbian sasaeng or something??” A girl with expensive looking earrings scoffed at Heehyun. It was pretty obvious that City Girl A and her posse had been sizing the two of them up and Yeonjung had to admit despite herself that Heehyun and her look absolutely shabby compared to what the group in front of her had on (is that a gold necklace? Like, real gold? What the hell). Unfortunately that wasn’t enough to deter a raging Cathy Ki though.

“Sasaeng?! Were you even listening to what was coming out of your mouth a few seconds ago or is your hearing impaired by those ridiculously large basketball-hoop earrings you’re wearing?”

“How dare you ! These are Cartier! What would a country piss-stain like you know about fashion?”

“I don’t know much about fashion but I DO know I can shoot 3’s through those as from across tha rooom. Swishh nothin’ but bitc—I mean net.” Yeonjung yanked her friend towards her as the redhead was in the middle of simulating the perfect 3-pointer. What has she done to deserve this? She knew coming to the city was a bad idea. The fact that she had to miss episode 14 of Descendants Of The Sun for this outing should have been an omen.

“Please excuse my friend. She’s had a bit too much to drink.” Yeonjung hurriedly bowed to the group in front of her, hoping she could salvage the situation before the pair of them started catching hands. The panicked girl had her best “Please don’t kill me I’m soft and bruise easily” smile on her face as she whispered harshly into her inebriated friend’s ear. “Cathy are you ing nuts?? There’s 4 of them and two of us, and that one at the end looks like she’s already eaten two of her friends!”

“What did you say Toothpick?! Say that to my face!”

Okay. That might not have been the right thing to say. In her defense though, there’s no way she could have known that Andre The Giant’s Korean cousin had ears that sharp.

“Is there a problem here? What’s going on?”

Everyone turned to see Dani approaching them, slightly confused as to why Yeonjung was holding her girlfriend in a chokehold, though this wouldn’t be the first time. They were causing quite a ruckus though, and Dani decided to check on the two troublemakers to make sure everything was okay. Dani the Saint was here! The Ghandi of their time! War has been averted!

“Dani! Thank goodness!! Help me bring your girlfriend away before we have to carry her out on a stretcher.” Yeonjung unceremoniously tossed a nearly unconscious Heehyun into Dani’s arms. She didn’t mean to choke out her friend, but in this scenario it might have been a good one.

“Girlfriend? I knew it she IS a dyke! I bet that -face Chaeyeon plays for that team as well. As if wasn’t enough she has to play both sides that !” chimed in Tiny Chihuahua-looking City Girl B, and Yeonjung closed her eyes to steady her breathing, because she wasn’t a violent girl but she would gladly punch a if she had to.

“Chae…? What?” Dani still looked confused as her gaze shifted from the half-conscious Heehyun in her arms to the seething City Girls in front of her.

“Yea you heard me! Jung Chaeyeon should know her place instead of mixing with men that are way out of her league! She’s just a that’s overstaying her 15 seconds of fame!”

“Say her name one more time and I swear you’re going to be swallowing your own teeth for dinner.” Heehyun was suddenly standing in front of Chihuahua Girl, staring her down and Yeonjung cursed at how her friend could move so fast even when she was hopelessly drunk. Yeonjung knew Chihuahua Girl was intimidated by Heehyun’s piercing green eyes, because she had taken a few steps back in retreat.

“Oh yeah? Try me !” Andre the had stepped forward to stand up for her smaller friend and before any of them could get a word in edgewise the larger girl had swung her hand wildly in Heehyun’s direction.

Heehyun having been in her fair share of fights before, had ducked the punch almost instinctively to Yeonjung’s relief. Needless to say it came as a surprise when she still heard the smacking sound of flesh hitting flesh and as if in slow motion she saw a body fall to the ground out of the corner of her eye.

Dani lay motionless on the wooden floor next to Heehyun’s feet, and the redhead stared in shock as her alcohol-ridden brain processed the image of her girlfriend lying unmoving on the ground.

“RRAAAAUGHWRGHHH!!!!"

All eyes turned to address the sudden battle-cry and the next thing all of them knew a rabid Somi was already latched onto the gigantic girl’s head, biting every inch of skin she could reach. This caused the remaining 3 City Girls to spring into action, trying to pull Somi off their genetic freak of a friend while Doyeon started throwing plates at them from a safe distance a few tables away.

Heehyun came to her senses and joined up with Somi in trying to bring the Hulk down, and Yeonjung cursed before joining in the scuffle out of obligation.

**********************************************

Heehyun woke up feeling like she had just been run over by a truck. Several trucks in fact. Repeatedly.

Green eyes scanned the unfamiliar room she was currently in through a haze of white noise. She strained her brain, forcing it to work overtime so that she could filter through the jumbled Microsoft PowerPoint of memories in her head to determine exactly how she ended up here. She remembered drinking about a sailor’s ration of alcohol, getting very angry at something and…..nothing much else after that.  

Heehyun hit the side of her temple with an open palm like she would a malfunctioning TV, hoping a bit of blunt force would help jog along her malfunctioning brain but she only managed to rattle her brain around her noggin, bringing about a wave of nausea.

“….in’ hell.”

“Hyun? Are you awake?”

Her girlfriend’s melodic voice waltzed through the air from some distance in front of her and it took more effort then she would admit to bring herself to look up to look at Dani. Her head currently felt like a bag of bricks, but somehow her heart felt heavier for some reason.

“Babe? Where are we? What’s with the cheap looking curtains?”

“The cheap curtains belong to the cheap hotel we’re currently in. You uhh…kinda passed out last night so we made an impromptu decision to stay the night in Seoul.”

Aah. That explains the musty smell and the horrid décor. Sunlight seeped into the room through the gaps in the blinds, barely lighting up the dimly lit room and casting perfect lines of light over Dani who was sitting crosslegged on a sofa a few feet across from her. Green eyes made contact with brown ones for a fleeting moment and even in a strange hotel in an unfamiliar city Heehyun felt right at home.

“What time is it babe? How long was I out for?”

“Pretty long. It’s about 8am right now. Come on, I made you coffee. I’m not sure if that will help nurse your hangover, but it’s the only thing available in the pantry that I don’t have to pay for.”

It was only then that Heehyun noticed the cup of coffee on a table next to her girlfriend, and the redhead inhaled the smell of caffeine in from across the room. The smell of the coffee alone was enough to clear her brain, and she decided then and there that her girlfriend was a literal angel.

“Where’s everyone else?” Heehyun asked, making her way to sit next to Dani. She noticed her girlfriend flinch slightly, but paid no attention to it since the lukewarm coffee she was currently gulping down felt like ambrosia against her lips.

“In a separate room. They couldn’t stand your snoring.” Dani chuckled, but something seemed off about it. It lacked the usual mirth and cheer that usually accompanied Dani.

“Dani….?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you avoiding looking at me?”

No excuse or explanation left her girlfriend's lips. Heehyun waited a second before reaching out towards Dani, tucking two fingers under that beautifully sculpted chin to turn her girlfriend's face towards her and her breath caught in when she saw the shiny bruise decorating Dani's porcelain cheek. Dani's eyes were red and swollen as if she had been crying the whole night, sending the redhead into a state of panic.

"D-Dani??! What…What happened?? Are you okay? Who did this to you?"

A meek smile formed on those beautiful lips and a small hand was brought up to gently push Heehyun's away from her girlfriend's face, confusing the redhead.

"You really don't remember?"

One look into those puffy brown eyes, and suddenly everything clicked into place. She remembered Dani being struck down by the large girl. She remembered feeling nothing but unbridled fury and attacking the girl who had hit her girlfriend. She remembered Dani and Chungha pulling her away from the beaten girl as several pairs of eyes looked at her in fear, some belonging to her own friends. She remembered how she had ruined her girlfriend's birthday party by getting drunk and participating in a bar fight.

Heehyun didn't even know where to start. She opened and closed several times trying to form either an explanation or an apology but her girlfriend just smiled that angelic smile of hers, wordlessly saying that she knew everything Heehyun was trying to say.

"....Does it hurt?"

Dani gently shook her head. "Nah, it's just a bruise. It’ll heal."

"Babe, I'm so so sorry for ruining your night. I just got so angry when she hit you that I guess I just snapped."

Dani shook her head again and the apology that Heehyun had been crafting in her head stopped midsentence.

"Hyun, was it really me you were trying to defend?"

Dani's words caused Heehyun to tilt her head in confusion, looking like a perplexed cat. "Of course. Who else would I be defending?"

Dani broke eye contact and tilted her head up to look at the ceiling, and Heehyun could feel Dani struggling with her next set of words.

"Because when you were repeatedly hitting that girl, it wasn't my name that was coming out of your mouth. It was Chaeyeon's."

Heehyun narrowed her eyes slightly at Dani’s words, trying to recall the miniscule details of that night. Her heart felt heavier upon hearing that name though, and she wondered if it was due to guilt.

"Is it that hard to believe that you were trying so hard to defend Chae?" Dani inquired in response to Heehyun’s silence. There was an odd mixture of amusement and bitterness in that usually melodic voice, and it was the first time she’s ever heard Dani use that tone.

"No I mean, of course I was angry at those girls calling Chaeyeon names but there was no way I wasn't angry at you being hit!" Heehyun tried her best to justify her actions, to try to rectify her mistake because she was inebriated and people do verbal slip ups all the time.

In response to Heehyun’s insistence of her innocence, Dani just nodded her head. It was quiet for a moment, and the silence was about a half second away from driving Heehyun to claw at the walls before that melodic voice spoke again.

"Which made you angrier?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Heehyun asked incredulously but her girlfriend looked completely serious.

"Yes I am."

"How can I choose?! Both of those things made me angry! Chaeyeon being ridiculed started it but you being hit set me off! It's an equal thing! Why am I supposed to choo—"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE ME!"

Dani suddenly stood up as she shouted, and Heehyun could only stare in wide-eyed shock as her girlfriend seethed in front of her.

"I'M your girlfriend. Not Chae. ME! Why does it feel like I have to keep competing with her when she's not even around?!"

Dani threw her arms up into the air in frustration before sinking back down into the couch next to her, burying her face in her hands. Heehyun watched almost petrified as her girlfriend’s shoulders shook with every tight breath she took, not knowing how to react to the outburst because she’s never seen this side of Dani before.

"....Babe?" Heehyun tentatively called out, and Dani finally looked up from her hands, immediately making the redhead wish she hadn’t. The brown eyes looking directly at her looked defeated and broken, and it was the single most heartbreaking thing Heehyun has ever and probably will ever see in her life.

"I don't think I can do this anymore."

Hold on, what?

"W-what do you mean? Dani—"

"This. This...tug of war. It feels rigged. I'm just so tired of pulling...."

Heehyun barely had time to speak up before Dani continued.

"I've spent so many years of my life being in love with you, watching from afar as you loved somebody else. That somebody else being my best friend. I even turned down an opportunity to be an idol for you because I just couldn't leave you behind, although that doesn't really matter since I didn't really want to be an idol in the first place. When you became my girlfriend I thought that finally everything was right. Everything is worth it because God nothing is more worth it than waking up in your arms, smelling your perfume on everything I own, hearing you whisper that you love me when you thought I was asleep. Nothing."

Dani reached out and tucked a stray strand of red behind Heehyun's ear. Heehyun felt herself melt into the hand that was now cupping her cheek with so much tenderness she felt like she was going to shatter if the caresses got any rougher. Heehyun closed her eyes and nuzzled her face into Dani's hand, kissing the palm gently as Dani continued to bare her heart out.

"But then...the way you looked at Chaeyeon back when we were having that Potter marathon...that change in your expression whenever you talk about her....it made me realise that you've never quite gotten over her. So I tried to take her place, but I don't know why I even bothered to try because she's out touring with her group in another country somewhere but she still managed to pack your heart in a suitcase along with her. You know I'd fight for you but how can I fight someone who isn't even there?"

The hand cupping her cheek fell down to her knee instead, squeezing it gently. She took note of her girlfriend's body language, heart slowly breaking as she bore witness to the inner turmoil Dani was facing where her girlfriend was trying her hardest not to be too affectionate.

"I wanted to be understanding. I figured that with time, you'd come to love me the way you loved her. It doesn't work that way, does it?”

"If I had any other heart, just any other heart besides the one beating in doldrums in my chest right now I would have left. But here I am, stuck with the same, old, weary heart that is so, so in love with you. The same heart that seems to beat only for you. So what's a girl to do Hyun? What do I do now?"

Heehyun looked up into those defeated eyes and she had to choke back a sob. She did this to Dani. She was the one that caused the girl she loves to hurt this much, and she felt physically sick. She was not going to deny Dani's words because....they were true. They were all true. As much as she can try to deny it, Chaeyeon would always hold a space in her heart that none can fill.

"Stay." Heehyun heard herself say, as if listening through another person's ears. She was being selfish. She was being greedy. She's hurt Dani so much, but at this point Heehyun isn't sure she could even function without Dani. Without her soft, encouraging whispers and warm hugs. Without the ray of sunshine that Dani would bring everywhere she goes as if she could control the weather. Heehyun doesn't even remember how she used to fall asleep without Dani either wishing or kissing her good night.

"Stay with me. Please. We can talk this out, just.... please. Please. I love you so much. I love you so so much Danielle." Heehyun pleaded and begged, taking Dani’s hands into her own just to feel them slip from her grip as the girl in front of her slowly pulled away.

"But you love her more, don't you?"

It was the hope in Dani’s eyes that hurt the most. The beautiful angel in front of her had asked the question in a way that made it seem like a poorly concealed statement, but the hope in those glassy brown orbs that Heehyun would deny the claim was overwhelming. It would have been all too easy to say no, to brush it off as Dani simply overthinking but her childhood friend knows every little minute detail about her. That’s the thing about Dani. Dani could see right through every little fib and bluff Heehyun has ever constructed.

If Heehyun were to say ‘no’, Dani would know that would be the biggest lie the redhead has ever told. So she remained mute, and Dani got her answer anyways.

"Being with you has thought me a lot about myself Hyun.” Dani scooted closer to Heehyun so that she could run her fingers lightly over the shorter girl’s face as if she was trying to commit every contour to memory. “Most of all though, it made me realise that I'm horrible at sharing. If I can’t have all of you, I don’t want to settle for only half."

She was looking at Heehyun straight in the eye and the redhead could only stare transfixed at Dani’s sheer beauty. The tears in the taller girl’s eyes glimmering like the surface of a lake on a calm night and Heehyun felt himself drowning in them.

"Are we... are you breaking up with me?"

"...Yeah. I guess I am." Dani gave a weak smile, and Heehyun knew there was nothing she could do to change her best friend’s mind.

Dani leaned forward and Heehyun’s eyes fluttered close almost automatically, but she felt those soft lips press against her forehead instead of where she really wanted them. Would Dani deny her one last kiss? Heehyun yearned for it, but she was too scared to ask. Because she’s asked so much of Dani over the 19 months they have been together. 

"Get back home safe okay? I'm gonna try to catch the first train out." Dani whispers to her as she pulls away, and Heehyun opens her eyes to find brown ones staring deep into her own.

There was a brief moment. A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it second where Dani’s eyes flickered downwards towards Heehyun’s lips and the redhead wished that she would go through with it but she didn’t. The moment was gone, and those brown eyes was staring into her green ones once again.

"The girl with emerald eyes.... You're like a fairytale."

Heehyun mutely watched Dani get up and walk towards the front door, silently hoping that the taller girl would have a change of heart but Dani didn’t even look back as she exited. The sound of the door slamming shut was deafening in the now quiet hotel room and Heehyun found herself still staring at the door, still praying that Dani would reemerge from it and flash her one of those insanely magical smiles that she’s already started to miss.

The door remained shut. No matter how long Heehyun waited. A minute could have passed but to Heehyun it felt like she had waited for an eternity. The door remained shut, and Heehyun remained alone in the hotel room, surrounded by gaudy furniture, mismatched curtains, and the lingering smell of Dani’s perfume.

Heehyun eventually tore her eyes away from the door, focusing instead on the carton of cigarettes on the coffee table in front of her. She instinctively reached out for it, withdrawing a single stick and placing it between her lips. Anything to lessen the pain. Anything to hold the swell of emotions at bay.

She was strong. Heehyun was strong. She’s been through this before.

She tried to light the lighter in her hand, but her thumb just awkwardly fumbled over the flint the first time. She tried a second time and succeeded in producing a flame, but her cigarette had slipped out of due to her trembling lips. She bent down to pick it up, but she had trouble finding it because the tears welling in her eyes was blurring her vision.

Heehyun tossed the lighter across the room out of frustration and screamed. She screamed in anguish as tears flowed freely down her cheeks, crumbling to pieces as the only thing that was keeping her together had just walked out on her.

She was weak. Heehyun was so pathetically weak. She’s been through this before, and just like 2 and a half years ago with Chaeyeon she was too weak to stop Dani from leaving.

Violent sobs wracked her body as she buried her face in her hands, as she gripped her hair, pulling and tugging and trying to feel any form of pain that could override the piercing ache in her chest but it was pointless. Tears kept streaming down her face as she felt a pair of arms circle around her, holding her close. A few more arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly as they whispered soft and calming empty promises into her ears. She gripped onto Jieqiong’s tshirt so tightly she swore she was tearing it but the Chinese girl didn’t seem to mind at all, instead kissing the top of Heehyun’s head in an attempt to comfort her.

The tears eventually stopped. The pain eventually subsided into a dull ache. Her cries turned into soft whimpers but her friends never left her side, enveloping her in a cocoon of support. Despite the warmth though, despite the outpour of love she was receiving from her closest friends, there was a hole missing where her heart once was.

Despite the company, Heehyun has never felt more alone in her life.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

It seems like a trend that I have to start these things off with an apology but sorry for taking more than a month to update this! I've been swamped with work and been too tired to write. This chapter itself was incredibly hard to write for me, and the breakup scene itself was actually like, nearly 2 weeks to write. I hope it isn't obvious that I wrote the chapter in seperate times, because I was worried it might seem a bit disjointed.

So....Heehyun doesn't end up with Dani. Apologies to the Dani x Heehyun fans! This was the original plan so I decided to stick with it, and I want to thank everyone who got emotionally invested in their relationship because it kinda makes me feel like I did a good job writing them. I hope the breakup scene made sense thooooo! I hope I gave Dani a justifiable enough reason to break up with Heehyun! The fic is not ending yet though. I think I have another 3 chapters planned, at least. 

I made Sohye try out to be an idol! Purely just because I wanted to use the "Sohye, do you want to be a singer" line. I also kinda wanted to mess with Heehyun's emotions a little. I like torturing the girl hahaha! If it's not obvious my two biases in IOI are Yeonjung and Sohye, so I tried to include them every little chance I get.

Just as a note for this fic: Chaeyeon is in DIA, which is in SM Entertainment in this fic. Sohye auditioned for JYP. I don't have any particular preference, I just wanted Chaeyeon to be in a huge company to go with her immense popularity, and I just went with SM out of the 3. 

Thanks so much for the upvotes! This is crazy! This is now my fic with the most upvotes, and to think I nearly didn't publish this. It really means a lot! Thank you all so so much and I'll keep trying to increase the quality of my writing. Shoutouts this round go to starzrus, Jin_Su, taenyomf, JeTidalwavesurfer, kihhkihh, my_name_is_joie, hqt_muno1, nguyenlynchi, MaiAnh0, Draeden, musicxweirdo, caprigirl, and regthesmexh for the upvotes! So many names. So blessed.

P/S: I know Yeonjung can be spelled as Yeonjung, but I'm so used to spelling it as Yeonjung. Does this bother anyone? I could change it in the upcoming chapters, but I dunno it doesn't bother me that much.

P/P/S: Heehyun has been looking so damn fine lately.