"I would give up this moment, and every moment to follow if it would mean that I could love you again in my next life."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Her bedroom ceiling could do with some decorating, Chaeyeon decides after staring up at the same white surface for the past half an hour. She could definitely afford to do that right? What’s the point of being a young multi-millionaire if it isn’t to waste her earnings on questionable life decisions, such as hiring an artist to paint a mural on her ceiling?

She could get that Murakami ahjusshi that Eunjin is obsessed with to paint those smiley-faced flowers he’s so famous for all over her bedroom. Maybe adding a splash of colour into the room would help brighten up the atmosphere around here. Things have been dull lately.

Very dull.

To attest to that, Chaeyeon had just spent literally thirty minutes of her life just lying down on her king-sized bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating the decisions she’s made throughout her 19 years of living and how it all lead up to this point. Sure, there were some questionable decisions, but none that she regrets, she noted.

Chaeyeon looks out of her bedroom window to see the snow falling steadily from up high, blanketing the world outside her walls in a layer of white. It's already winter, which means it's been roughly 2 months since her company placed her under solitary isolation.

Isolation honestly sounds worse than it really is. Chaeyeon really didn't mind the situation she was in, it was just so incredibly boring. She was still living in the DIA dorm, only her movements have been severely limited. Her manager had taken up a permanent post outside her bedroom door (under their CEO's direct order) and her laptop and cellphone had been taken away from her to limit her contact with the outside world. As far as her company was concerned, the lesser she exposes herself to the public the better because after all revealing too much to the public was how she got into this predicament in the first place.

See, 2 months ago Chaeyeon appeared on a very popular variety show named Happy Together. She came prepared, with a list of pre-determined answers in her head and specific instructions from her company CEO to not tell the world about her lingering feelings for a certain girl she once dated during her trainee days 4 years ago. She's been interviewed about her personal life at least a thousand times, with no exaggeration to that number so of course this was a walk in the park for her. A little white lie here, a casual touch up of the truth there and Chaeyeon's reputation as the innocent, pure, untouched idol wouldn't be tarnished.

Except it wasn't a walk in the park. It felt more like a barefoot slog up a steep mountain made up of jagged rocks, shards of glass and broken promises.

"Did you date much in highschool?"

"No I didn't." The denial left her tongue almost too quickly, nearly giving away the fact that she has been preparing herself all day just for this one question. A rehearsed answer never sounds natural, but it was her job to make it seem like it was.

It would have been fine if Chaeyeon had left it at that, but there was a spark of guilt within her that was starting to grow into an uncontrollable flame. It....it didn't seem right. Denying the existence of the girl that she was in love with on national tv. Has she really sunk that low? Heehyun was probably going to watch this wasn't she? It airs right after Sohye's program.

"I've only dated one person."

Chaeyeon had no idea what possessed her to let slip that information. She didn't need to, and was specifically instructed NOT to do so. As soon as the confession left her lips she could see the producers and cameramen infront of her scrambling around, whispering amongst themselves. It was rare that an idol of her status would risk their public standing by revealing a past relationship, so this was gold for the lot of them. The preconceived notion was that idols didn't have a life before they debuted.

Funny thing about idols, they were all just made up of a bunch of broken pieces perfectly mended back together so that the cracks were well hidden. There was an understanding amongst them. A solidarity. None of her bed partners ever questioned her when she called out another girl's name in the midst of intimacy. Nobody ever asked her why she had a fondness for girls with green eyes. Red Velvet's Joy did look a bit upset when Chaeyeon had accidentally called her "Heehyun" during one of their nights together, but in Chaeyeon's defense there was only one girl in her life that had the right to dye her hair that shade of red.

Her decision to leave Heehyun behind to chase her dreams of becoming an idol had haunted her through all these years, like a ghost that followed too closely behind her. Chaeyeon had accidentally packed all her love for Heehyun with her when she left her hometown for Seoul, so she had been living with these feelings for the past 4 years.

When Happy Together (or rather Jo Seho) gave Chaeyeon the opportunity to give Heehyun a hint at just how much she has been yearning for the older girl's touch, she had to take it. It was killing her, and there really wasn't much left in her to kill to begin with.

The backlash following the confession though, was not something that Chaeyeon was ready for.

For starters, her company was definitely not happy with her. Her manager who had been present during the filming was kind enough to not let the upper management know what went on during the show, delaying her punishment long enough for her to receive that phone call from Heehyun. The show eventually aired though, and Chaeyeon remembered being called up to the CEO's office and having to sit through an entire hour of shouting aimed at her.

Her company had immediately began doing damage control, starting a rumour that the boy Chaeyeon had dated had moved to Seoul several years ago with the intention of pursuing architecture. Anything to throw the netizens off Heehyun's scent. Rumors of Chaeyeon's ex being a girl eventually surfaced, but thankfully due to the taboo nature of same- relationships in Korea the public easily and readily believed the press statements that stated Chaeyeon wasn't a lesbian. Chaeyeon herself had no trouble playing along with her company's statements as well because she had already told Heehyun how she felt. No problems bending the truth now that the only person who mattered knew what it was.

Things grew out of hand when even the public news channels started showing snippets of Chaeyeon's confession. She couldn't believe the first time she saw her face on the 6 o'clock news, and furthermore having to hear the news anchors promising to update the public on any new development. What on earth were they hoping to update? Where was the news in this? Were they hoping that she would announce a sudden pregnancy or something?

She got her answer the very next day when someone threw a molotov cocktail to her agency's front door. Fortunately enough the angry sasaeng fan wasn't the brightest of the bunch and tried to set fire to a door made out of tempered glass, but the message came across really clearly. People were angry at her. She had gone from most loved idol in the nation to most controversial, which honestly was a pretty impressive title to earn because Sulli (formerly of F(x) fame) had just went on a stroll through Hongdae wearing nothing but her knickers and a smile just the other day.

And now 2 months later, Chaeyeon is stuck lying down bored out of her mind in her bedroom, counting the cracks in the ceiling. They took her phone away. The phone with Heehyun's number on it. That was the thing she was angriest about. She only managed to talk to Heehyun once. There was no way to contact any one of her friends now.

“Chae, you awake in there?”

A voice asked from outside her door, followed by three short knocks on the wooden surface. Chaeyeon stayed mum. There was a pause that lasted only a few questions before the voice spoke again, slightly more unsure.

“Chae…you alive in there…?”

“Depends what you consider being 'alive' is, unnie.” Chaeyeon replied, just loud enough for Yebin to hear through the door.

"Oh a snarky response! How wonderful! Hope you're decent, I'm coming in."

As if Yebin really cared if Chaeyeon was decent before she barged in. The older member of DIA would constantly check up on the ostracised Chaeyeon, making sure the girl wasn't too lonely in her room. That seemed to be their company's preferred method of breaking in disobedient idols though. Through pure loneliness.

"Aigooo look at you all tiny and depressed and dead on the inside! Never seen anything more adorable!" Yebin squealed as she entered Chaeyeon's room, seeing the younger girl's tiny frame sprawled out over the large king sized bed while those dead eyes stayed fixed to a point on the ceiling.

"Hug, please." Chaeyeon stretched her arms out, pouting slightly and nearly killing poor Yebin with aegyo. Never one to refuse an adorable girl on a bed, Yebin slowly laid down next to Chaeyeon, enveloping her arms around the younger girl's lithe frame from behind and literally feeling Jung Chaeyeon melt into a puddle in her arms.

They laid there unmoving for several minutes, Yebin spooning Chaeyeon while neither spoke a word. It was comfortable, and Yebin could tell that her friend was absorbing as much warmth as she could into her tiny frame. Absorbing the body heat Yebin was radiating so that she could fill up her energy reserves, if only just to get through the next few days she'll spend alone again.

"You're cold." Yebin muttered after a beat, breaking the silence. Chaeyeon hummed in response.

"What movie were you watching last night unnie? I could hear you guys laughing through the walls."

Yebin felt a pang of guilt in her chest at that statement. They should have been more considerate. The walls in the dorm were thin. She couldn't possibly answer that question without feeling like an utter jerk so instead Yebin reached for the hairbrush Chaeyeon kept on her nightstand and motioned for the younger girl to sit up.

She's cared for this girl this way before. Chaeyeon was akin to a younger sister to her and she loved the pale beauty with all her soul but this girl in her arms right now...this wasn't Chaeyeon. Each time Yebin ran the brush through Chaeyeon's black locks, strands of hair fell each time. The mischievous twinkle that was once ever-present in those jet-black eyes was no longer there. Jung Chaeyeon was withering in front of her, and the best she could do was visit her in her bedroom/isolation chamber once in awhile.

Yebin could only imagine what Chaeyeon went through. To confess to the person she loved on national television and to wait two weeks for that episode to air. To wait impatiently while clutching her phone for a sign—any sign—that Heehyun was still waiting for her, to finally get the phonecall that she had been waiting four long years for, only for their company representative to forcibly snatch the phone out of her hands before she could hear Heehyun say those three little words back. To wear her entire heart on her sleeve, only for her company to tear it off and lock her in her own god damn bedroom. Even her members weren't allowed to visit her!

The company had broken Jung Chaeyeon. She could see it in the 19 year old's doll eyes. Chaeyeon herself may not have realised it, but Yebin knows. She's seen that look plenty a time.

"What's on your mind kid?" Yebin whispered, careful not to choke or let her sadness show.

"I want to get away from it all."

There was a sinking feeling in Yebin's gut.

"Oh? What do you mean exactly Chae?" Yebin asked again, abandoning brushing Chaeyeon's hair for fear of further damaging it.

Chaeyeon waved her arms around, trying to fathom her thoughts into words but she was never one to be good at talking, despite her variety training. "I mean....it must be to nice to just…get away from things you know? Not permanently, but sometimes I wish I could just duck out for a few days. Escape this world, travel on a rocketship to Mars, forget that every move I make will probably end up in the tabloids the day after....You think the company would flip if I bought myself a rocketship?”

Yebin didn't know which was more amusing; the idea of Chaeyeon piloting a rocket to Mars or the absolutely sincere look on the younger girl's face. How was this girl so adorable? "Honey you’re rich, but I reaaally don’t think you’re that rich. You’re Jung Chaeyeon, not G-Dragon.”

Chaeyeon quirked up at that. "You think Yong-oppa is single?”

“Why? You wanna get at him just so that you could take his rocketship on a joyride?” Yebin accused, amused by the implication. Hold on.... "Wait, Yong-oppa?! JiYong-oppa?? When did you get that close to GD?!”

“You really think he owns a rocketship?” Chaeyeon asked, completely eschewing Yebin's question.

“I really know he owns my heart.” Yebin stated with a dreamy sigh. She was as straight as a circle but by damn that man can get it.

“Your heart.... is the complete opposite of a rocketship.” Chaeyeon stated with a slight frown. "It's more like a barely-floating dinghy.”

Yebin let out an overly exaggerated gasp, showing off her piss-poor skills as a theatre major (she never actually graduated). "Jung Chaeyeon, how dare you wound me so.”

“Did I?”

“Yeah. Your words stab me right here.” Yebin pointed to her heart, eyes clenched tight and voice laced in pain. "Right in my barely-floating dinghy.”

The melodic laughter that came as a result of Yebin's over exaggeration was something that she had missed hearing. It was beautiful, restrained but somehow boisterous at the same time, a laughter which fit perfectly with Jung Chaeyeon. God knows it's been awhile since the younger girl had last laughed. Yebin was just glad Chaeyeon hadn't forgotten how to.

"We have a schedule today kid." Yebin informed, lightly petting Chaeyeon's head. The girl was taller than she was, but why does she still seem so small? "That's why I came to get you. We're leaving in a bit. Best get ready."

Chaeyeon's response to that was to jump up off her bed, eyes wide in disbelief. "They're letting me out? I get to leave the room? Music performance or variety show?"

"Performance. MBC's Dream Concert, I believe. There will be other idols and I guess management can't risk having BlackPink look better than us out there so they're bringing you out. How're your dance skills? Rusty?"

"It's alright. If I forget a step I'll just pretend to fall on my face. That should distract them enough." Chaeyeon replied with a wide grin, twirling around her room as she celebrated her momentary freedom.

"What if you forget the entire choreo? You're just gonna lie facedown throughout the whole song or what?"

"Sounds like a plan. Maybe I'll start making snow angels onstage, really give the fans a show."

"It's nice that you can joke about your lack of practice. Still think the higher ups are idiots for not letting you out of this room to even attend practice sessions."

"It is what it is unnie."

It is what it is. Words to live by. Maybe it was easier for Chaeyeon to slog by her days by just resigning to her situation and telling herself that there was nothing she could do to change anything. Living was much easier when you dismiss everything.

"So, where's the concert venue?" Chaeyeon asked finally, and she narrows her eyes at the hesitance visible all over Yebin's face. The older girl eventually parts her lips, and the name that she utters with so much sympathy makes Chaeyeon's heart stop.

"Bucheon."


************************************************

It really doesn't seem that far away from here. If Chaeyeon squints she can easily make out the ferris wheel that she used to frequent in the distance. All those cabins glistening under the afternoon sun bore witness to many sweet nothings and tender kisses from a much happier time. She was so close. So close to home.

So close to her.

Did she still go to that ferris wheel? Does she still whisper promises of forever and a day to another's ears while the cabin pauses at the very peak of it's rotation? Does she still use the setting sun as a comparison for beauty, only to tell the person she's with that "all that beauty could never compare to yours"?

"They're taking forever aren't they?"

"Well you saw how badly she fell. She broke her fall with every other part of her body!"

"I hope she's alright. The fans were definitely worried."

Chaeyeon turned to look at her groupmates and took in their worried expressions. Appropriate, considering their current situation. They were currently huddled backstage by their Chevrolet Explorer, ready to leave the venue at a moment's notice. Their performance had to end after only two songs because Eunchae had slipped off the stage and fell 10 feet onto the unforgiving concrete below. Their manager had swooped in with an army of medical personnel to assess the young girl's injuries, leaving the rest of the group to just sit around to wait for their next course of action.

Unfortunately, waiting meant Chaeyeon had plenty of time to get lost in her own thoughts. Something she tries not to do lately.

"They're here!" Eunice calls out and the entire group turns their attention to the approaching manager, cradling a crying Eunchae in his arms. Was that really appropriate? Considering the frazzled look on their manager's face, he obviously didn't care about protocol currently.

“We’ll need to rush her to the hospital. Her arm really doesn’t look too good.” He informs them as soon as he gets near, gesturing for Yebin to open the passenger side door for Eunchae.

"Doesn't look too good" was kind of an understatement. Eunchae's arm looked like the squiggly piece in Tetris. It reminded Chaeyeon of Harry Potter's arm in the second movie. Maybe they could turn this into a concept, make a song about Mr. Potter himself and Eunchae could be the center or something.

"Is that a bone?"

"Don’t poke it Eunjin-ah!"

"THAT ING HURTS UNNIE!"

"Eunchae, language."

"MY ELBOW IS FACING THE WRONG SIDE OF MY ARM I CAN CURSE ALL I WANT!"

"F-Fair enough."

“Enough, girls. Get in the car, we're leaving now." Their manager chastised them as he scrambled into the driver's seat, muttering under his breath. "We need a way to beat traffic though….and all the fans probably know we’re headed there. We’ll be swarmed the moment we leave the parking lot.”

He scratched his head, panic and worry wracking his every feature while Eunchae continued sobbing next to him. It was moments like this that had all of them respecting their manager. He was a good man. He genuinely cared for them, and in return they would listen to his every instruction without question.

“Chaeyeon….there’s a hospital in your hometown right?”

Okay this was the time for questions. Many, many questions.

“A-Are you sure that’s the closest one?” Chaeyeon sputtered, eyes wild with fear. She wasn't ready to go back yet, not when she was under so many restrictions and breaking the rules was as easy as being seen by the locals.

“It’s the best option we have right now. I’m sorry, I know it will be hard for you, but I’m out of ideas. Eunchae’s arm looks like the squiggly Tetris block.” Huh. Well that's one thing they agree on.

“Oppa! You’re making her cry harder!” Jenny shouted from the back seat as Eunchae's wailing grew louder.

It was a mess. Everything was a mess. The gods were laughing at her currently. Chaeyeon sighed, realizing there really wasn't much of a choice.

“…Okay. Let’s go.”

*************************************************

The drive to the hospital wasn't an easy one, despite being relatively brief. Every familiar scene that passed by the window only served to further constrict Chaeyeon's heart. By the time the van was parked in front of the emergency entrance and Eunchae was stretchered away Chaeyeon was dangerously close to hyperventilating.

Well if she were to have a heart attack, the hospital would be the perfect place to do it.

“It’s a pretty nice town ain’t it? Never been here before.” Yebin offhandedly states while looking out the window, one palm pressed flat against the glass.

“….I don’t blame you. Not many have.” Chaeyeon replies after a beat. The atmosphere in the room was tense due to all of them being fatigued from the previous schedule and from worrying about Eunchae. Yebin’s weird chirpiness was slightly out of place in this environment.

“Looks like a postcard, with all the snow outside. I can get attached to a place like this.” Yebin continues. Chaeyeon nodded in agreement although she was sure that although the town was pretty great, she was more attached to the people living in it.

Specifically just one person.

“How bout it Chae? Wanna give me a tour?”

Chaeyeon’s head snapped up to look at Yebin. "You're joking."

"I'm not much of a comedian, Chae." It was true. Yebin’s jokes , which was all the more reason why this sounded like one. The older girl had that manic smile on her face though. The smile that screamed bad intentions.

“B-But we can’t! We can’t go outside! We’ll get in trouble! I can’t be seen back here unnie!”

“It won’t be a problem if nobody sees us then. Right oppa?”

Yebin calls out to the manager seated across from them, very evidently listening in on their conversation but looking far too stressed and tired to do anything about it. Chaeyeon sees him exchange meaningful looks with Yebin, as if they’ve had this conversation prior to this moment. He didn’t look pleased at all at what Yebin was suggesting and at first Chaeyeon was about to jump in and apologize on her unnie’s behalf but before she did so the manager let out a long frustrated sigh and scratched his head frustratedly.

“Two hours. Two hours, and then I want the two of you back here. Not a second later. You understand? And DO NOT be photographed.”

Was Chaeyeon hearing things? Why on earth would he agree to such nonsense? And why did Yebin look so pleased with herself? The older girl grabbed Chaeyeon by the wrist before she could begin to question the situation and dragged her towards the nearest exit, almost skipping gleefully.


**********************************************

 The pair of them walked the streets side by side, Yebin occasionally skipping forward and tugging at Chaeyeon’s sleeve to walk faster as if the vocalist knew these streets better than Chaeyeon herself did. The hospital was located in the middle of town so everything that one would wish to see was right here, within walking distance.

Well, in this case “everything” really didn’t amount to much. This town was as empty as Chaeyeon remembered it. The streets were a ghost town, probably because of the weather. Nobody was really crazy enough to walk around in the dead of winter. Despite that they still took precautions, walking around with their hoods up to avoid being seen or photographed.

Chaeyeon was still being headhunted by the tabloids after all.

The weather was cold. Very cold. No sane human should be out in this weather without a purpose, so why is she out here? Yebin was why. Why was Yebin out here? What was Yebin’s purpose?

“You know what Chae? All this snow has me craving for some ice-cream.”

Ahh. There it is. The ulterior motive. Yebin was always looking for trouble, disguised as good intentions.

“Unnie—“ Chaeyeon begins but Yebin skilfully cuts her off, as if she was already expecting the interjection.

“You wouldn’t happen to know of a place that we could get some would you? Ice-cream that is?”

“Why are you doing this unnie?!” Chaeyeon nearly shouts, her patience running thin and her rarely-seen temper flaring up for once. “Why are you teasing me like this? You know how painful this is for me….my heart feels like it’s being constricted. Can we please go back to the hospital?”

Yebin stops walking and for a moment it looks as if the older girl was seriously contemplating the suggestion. Yebin places her hands into her jacket’s pockets and shakes some snow off her hood before turning to face Chaeyeon, a small smile on the blonde girl’s face.

“Don’t you want to see her?”

That question takes Chaeyeon by surprise. The younger girl wasn’t prepared for that and in an attempt to come up with an answer on the spot all she could do was open and close repeatedly, like a fish out of water. Both her head and her heart had decided to race each other in providing an answer to Yebin’s question and to be completely honest Chaeyeon herself didn’t know which answer she wanted to hear more.

“Do you, or don’t you? If you don’t, we can turn back right now. I won’t bring it up again but know that the moment we step back into that hospital, your freedom will be gone for another indefinite amount of time. This is one of your only opportunities left to see her and I’m willing to help you see this through but only if you want to do it. I can’t force you.”

Yebin taps her feet impatiently, or maybe it was because of the cold. All Chaeyeon knows is that the words that Yebin spoke was nothing but the truth, and that she wanted nothing more than to see Heehyun. She’s been wanting to do nothing but that since she first walked out of this town 4 years ago, leaving her former lover crying alone on that raggedy swingset their apartment complex has since replaced.

“I’m not ready. I wouldn’t even know what to say.”

“It’ll come to you.”

Yebin extends a hand, and Chaeyeon hesitates for a moment before nodding. Taking her friend’s hand as a source of strength Chaeyeon leads the two of them down the familiar path leading to the ice cream shop.

*******************************************
 

As could be expected, an ice cream shop really didn’t have much business during winter. Nobody really wants to eat cold treats when the weather outside was colder than a tax collector’s heart. Sure there were one or two customers who were crazy enough to wade through several inches of snow for a scoop of “Jieqiong’s Pretty Smile” but that was the exception, rather than the norm.

That leaves Minkyeong feeling extremely bored. Taehyung and Eunwoo would usually busy themselves by toiling about in their “Ice Cream Lab” creating more wacky flavours that nobody can pronounce while their beautiful boss would take advantage of the cold weather to hibernate in her office for the whole day, leaving Minkyeong out here to man the shop floor all by her lonesome.

It was boring. Staring at nothing all day. Minkyeong had started a little activity in her head where she would give every chair in the shop it’s own name and personality quirks. It entertained her for awhile, but by lunchtime it quickly gets old and Minkyeong is stuck wishing something interesting happens in this dead town.

And the front door chimed open at that very moment, making Minkyeong believe that maybe somebody up there was in a wish-granting mood.

“Welcome! How may we serv—oh mY GOD HOLY !!” Minkyeong yells/shouts as the ice cream scoop she had been fiddling with dropped to the floor in her surprise.

Chaeyeon. Jung Chaeyeon. THE Jung Chaeyeon had just walked in through the front door. Also Yebin was there but that didn’t matter that much because holy hell down below her boss’ extremely hot ex had just walked into the premises. What does Minkyeong do? Call Heehyun? Shoo the idol away? Get a camera? Get a camera. Yes. That last one. That last one was ideal. Wait, no. Chaeyeon shouldn’t be photographed in this shop right? Argh the indecision!

“Minky what did I tell you about cursing in front of our customers?!” Eunwoo yells from the back room/laboratory. that. Minkyeong thinks the expletives that left was pretty justified, considering the situation.

“Umm...manager, could you...could you please help me with this situation? Because I think that this is what this is. A situation. A BIG situation.” Minkyeong answers back, eyes not leaving the insanely gorgeous idols standing by the entrance. The two members of DIA had begun hanging their snow-covered coats on the rack provided by the door, as if this whole thing was natural for the two of them.

It takes a few seconds for Eunwoo to make it to the front. When she did arrive however, she looked like she had a lecture (probably about service etiquette) ready at the tip of her tongue but was forced to swallow it down when she came face to face with this situation, as Minkyeong puts it. “Oh. Ohhh ok. I completely understand now Minky all is forgiven.”

“Thanks shop manager. What do we do now?”

“Can we kick her out? Does the Boss Lady even want to see her?”

“Of course she does. She made a shrine dedicated to her. Right? I mean she’s definitely not here for ice cream right?”

Chaeyeon watches this manager and her employee go back and forth debating about what to do with her as if she wasn’t standing right here infront of them. Maybe this really wasn’t such a good idea after all. Turning to Yebin to ask the older girl for advice, she was met with her groupmate staring dreamily at one (or both) of the bickering girls.

“Oh my god Chae she’s HOT!” Yebin whispers/ gasps under her breath, just loud enough for the other idol to hear.

Chaeyeon was about to ask which girl Yebin meant when the shop manager began walking towards them, and the ensuing high pitched squeals coming from her groupmate answered her unspoken question.

“We have celebrities in the building! What can I do for you ladies today?” The manager (a quick glance to her nametag identifies her as Jung Eunwoo) sings as she approaches closer, a confident gait in her step.

“Marry me please.”

Eunwoo eyes Yebin up and down as if considering the proposal before snorting.

“Sorry, I don’t date idols. Not a fan of putting ‘it’s complicated’ as my Facebook relationship status and I’m definitely not a fan of….” Eunwoo paused, gaze settling on Chaeyeon. “…the pain and heartache.”

Chaeyeon tried her best not to wince at the scathing implication Eunwoo’s words carried. She could feel the shorter manager approaching her, light steps closing the distance between them until the girl stood only a few steps away from her. Chaeyeon actually couldn’t remember the last time a non-celebrity has gotten this close to her without alarming a bevy of security guards.

She could feel Eunwoo’s eyes on her, studying and possibly even scrutinizing every movement she made. The gall of her. The manager of a tiny ice cream shop in a no-name town dares to scrutinize Jung Chaeyeon, global icon and the most successful idol South Korea has seen in the past 7 years. What nerve. And as Chaeyeon quickly learns when she looks up to try and meet Eunwoo’s eyes, the young manager had nerves of steel.

If Chaeyeon had any doubts before, one look into Eunwoo’s piercing gaze was enough to confirm who the owner of this establishment was. Eunwoo had Heehyun’s eyes. Naturally piercing and disarming, Chaeyeon was caught off guard. No wonder this tiny blonde—under normal circumstances—completely unassuming girl was second in command here.

“You’ve caused quite a mess haven’t you, Jung Chaeyeon-ssi?” It was a statement poorly disguised as a question.

“I apologize.” Normally Chaeyeon would respond with a witty remark of sorts, an ability that’s made her a favourite on the variety circuit but for some reason today she was at a loss for words. A lot has happened in the past few hours. Earlier in the day she was still locked up in her dorm, and now she was in Heehyun’s shop bowing meekly to the latter’s scary manager.

“Our boss conducted meetings in the town hall, did you know? Begging the townsfolk to keep things quiet for your sake. Your relationship is like our town’s biggest secret now, which really isn’t that big of an achievement if you look at the bigger picture because our town really doesn’t have many secrets to begin with.”

“…Is your boss in?” Chaeyeon asked weakly, having seen no sign of her former lover/ best friend around.

Eunwoo seemed to hesitate for a moment, the fire in her eyes flickering dangerously before she seemed to have a change of mind. “She’s in her office. Probably taking her afternoon nap or something.” Eunwoo gestured over her shoulder to a wooden door in the back of the room, no doubt leading to Heehyun’s office.

It was odd, how Eunwoo was still glaring at her despite answering Chaeyeon’s questions. The idol wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be grateful or wary, so she just stared awkwardly at Jung Eunwoo while the latter bounced restlessly on her heels. There was a look in the manager’s eyes that screamed a dare, and Chaeyeon felt defiant enough to take her up on it.

Seeing the staredown between her friend and her potential wife, Yebin decided to step in before any idol blood was spilled because it was painfully obvious who would win if these two came to blows. “Hate to ruin whatever intense moment y’all two are having but we really don’t have much time left in this town. I’d say we hurry it up so that the two of them—“ Yebin pointed to Chaeyeon and Heehyun’s office door, “—can have their little talk and Chaeyeon can stop staring longingly out her window anymore.”

Eunwoo’s face seemed to spasm very briefly before she placed her hands on her hips and puffed her chest out, creating an imposing image at 5 and a half feet tall.

“I’ll be honest with you Chaeyeon-ssi, we’ve never met before this but I’ve seen and heard The Boss cry in her office waaay too many times to even begin to like you. We care about her. All of us do. She gave us a place to belong to when we had nowhere else to go. Make her cry again, and I’ll make sure Minky there shows you how deadly an ice-cream scooper can be.”

“Ninja .” The girl with the brown hair by the counter twirls a metal ice cream scooper around in what Chaeyeon assumes was supposed to be a threatening manner but it was kinda hard to take the girl seriously for some reason.

Still, Eunwoo’s threat alone was enough to instill a little bit of fear in Chaeyeon.

Just a little.

“Are you actually threatening the biggest idol in the country with violence?” Yebin excitedly chirped, bouncing on her heels in inappropriate excitement. “I think I’m in love. Chae I think I’ve found the one! I’m going to settle down in this town and we can be neighbours!”

“Flattered.” Eunwoo states simply, before turning to the brown haired girl by the counter and a spaced-out looking boy that had just emerged from a door Chaeyeon didn’t notice before. “Minky, Taehyung, let’s go. I think DIA’s Yebin wants to buy us dinner.”

“Can I get your number?” Yebin asked as the shop’s employees begin putting on their jackets in preparation for the cold weather outside.

“No.”

“I’ll gladly give you her number Yebin-unnie…..can I call you unnie?”

“Don’t you dare give her anything Minky. I’ll fire you.”

“You ain’t the boss of me!”

“I might as well be!”

Before Chaeyeon could even get in a word, the lot of them (including Yebin) had already filed past her and exited the shop, leaving her all by her lonesome. Chaeyeon notices Eunwoo flip the sign on the door to say “Closed” before they trudged through the snow, disappearing around the corner.

Okay. This...this wasn’t what Chaeyeon thought she would be doing when she woke up today.

She was in the shop she used to frequent with Heehyun on their dates, which was now currently owned by the older girl. Funny how life works out like that. Chaeyeon found herself moving away from her spot by the entrance to caress her fingers along the wooden countertop that displayed the many ice cream flavours on offer.

The flavours were all different than the ones that were on offer back when she was in high school. All except for one particular flavour that brought a fond smile to the idol’s face.

She kept it.

Chaeyeon’s fingers eventually rested on the cool metal surface of the service bell. This was it. All or nothing. Moment of truth. The final countdown. A thousand more cliches were recited before Chaeyeon gained the courage to ring the bell, hearing it’s shrill sound reverberate along the wooden walls of the empty shop.

No response.

With a measure more confidence Chaeyeon rang the bell again, the second time a lot harder and that gained a response.

Chaeyeon could hear movement from behind Heehyun's office door. It was muted, but it was there. A particularly loud thud followed quickly by a low hiss and some barely audible profanities made it seem as if the person (or zombie) behind that door was stumbling around in the dark.

"What are those idiots doing...."

That voice was unmistakable. Eventhough it's been years since she's heard it in person, eventhough it's currently being muffled by the office door, Chaeyeon would never forget every soft timbre and beautiful inflection within Ki Heehyun's voice. It gave her butterflies inside, and for a brief, crazy moment Chaeyeon actually contemplated throwing herself behind the ice cream counter to hide herself away from Heehyun because it's been...it's been too long. Years. She wasn't ready for this but at the same time she feels as if her entire life was preparing her for this moment right now.

The office door swings open, and out walks a girl—nay—a woman, a few inches taller than her. An untidy mop of faded pink hair touched the girl's shoulders and despite her unkempt appearance the woman still had an aura about her. Any Average Joe would be able to tell that this woman currently tripping over her own feet walking out of her own office was someone important.

Heehyun hasn't realised Chaeyeon was there yet, too busy tying the laces to her well-worn pair of Vans Old Skools to look up to greet her customer. A string of apologies and excuses left Heehyun's lips as she apologized for her unruly appearance and for making the customer wait. Chaeyeon stayed mum, too overwhelmed to say much of anything.

"Alright, now that that's well-tied and I'm sure I won't be tripping over them again...sorry for the delay! My employees are usually—"

Heehyun finally looks up, and finishing her sentence suddenly didn't seem so important anymore. Chaeyeon's heart stopped beating when she saw Heehyun's strikingly beautiful green eyes widen in recognition. The same green eyes that's been frequenting her dreams for the past 4 years.

"Hello." Chaeyeon greeted weakly, noting that the disbelief still hasn't left Heehyun's face.

"Chae...? W-Wha—How...?"

"The front door. Yebin-unnie brought your employees out for dinner....I think."

There was a pregnant pause, neither one knowing where to move on after this. Chaeyeon uses the moment to fully take in Heehyun's appearance and...good god. Chaeyeon has seen idols. She's seen actresses and models and every single person in the industry that could be used as an example of beauty but Ki Heehyun.....Ki Heehyun was still the most beautiful person she's ever seen.

Heehyun's aged. 4 years was not a brief amount of time. She went from a rough-around-the-edges highschool delinquent with a chip on her shoulder to a young adult that looks as if she's been around the block a few times. Heehyun got taller. The air around her has changed, but as those startlingly green eyes stayed fixed on Chaeyeon as if afraid that the idol would disappear if she were to blink, Chaeyeon deduced that the change actually managed to make the already attractive Ki Heehyun even more so.

"Were you seen? W-What if—cameras! There are cameras everywhere these days! Are you sure that this is—" Heehyun began, green eyes still frantic as she began spouting gibberish out of .

She still cares. After all these years, after everything Chaeyeon has put her through, Heehyun's main priority as soon as she gained control of her voice was for Chaeyeon's privacy. It honestly made her feel warmer than she could have ever imagined. Nostalgia began to flood in, reminding Chaeyeon of all those times Heehyun has taken care of her and made her feel safe.

Made her feel at home.

And in four short strides Chaeyeon had already closed the distance between them and cut the older girl off with a hug, feeling Heehyun tense up significantly at the contact.

"It's fine, isn't it?" Chaeyeon's question was muffled as her face was buried in the crook of Heehyun's neck but she knew she was heard. Hesitant arms wrapped themselves around Chaeyeon and she could feel herself melting into Heehyun's embrace. She had been missing this for too long. She's home. These arms were where she belonged. the idol industry her company everything that was keeping her away from this.

"I can't believe you're really here...." Heehyun sounded as if she was on the verge of crying. Chaeyeon was already there, staining the older girl's top with her tears.

She couldn't even begin to put into words how badly she's missed Heehyun. Instead Chaeyeon clung on tighter, holding onto Heehyun like a support system while the older girl gently rubbed her back, trying to console Chaeyeon who was beside her self at this point.

"I...I-I....." The words were a conflicted lump in Chaeyeon's throat, struggling to be voiced out. Chaeyeon wanted—needed to tell Heehyun how much she's missed her but just "missing" didn't seem to do it justice. The hole in her heart and the burn in from crying Heehyun's name out on those nights when times were hardest was more than just "missing". Jung Chaeyeon has been dead for the past few years and this is the moment she comes back to life, soaking in the energy only Heehyun's embrace can provide her.

No words were needed however. Heehyun understood perfectly, as indicated by the older girl pulling Chaeyeon even closer to her until all Chaeyeon could breathe was the scent of Heehyun's perfume. They stayed that way for what felt like several lifetimes until Heehyun eventually pulled away, tear-tracks still fresh on her cheeks and looking adorably sheepish.

"I'll uh...I'll get you some ice-cream." Heehyun choked out, scratching her cheek in awkwardness before walking towards the counter. Chaeyeon wiped her tears on her sleeve, a smile coming to her face as she saw Heehyun put an apron on for whatever reason. Must be the modus operandi of the shop.

"Your treat?" Chaeyeon sneakily suggests, taking a seat at an empty table and nearly laughing when Heehyun's head pops up from behind the counter looking almost insulted.

"What? The biggest name in Kpop can't afford a few scoops of Strawberry Cheesecake?"

"Times are hard unnie. I haven't had a job in two months."

Heehyun scoffs before ducking down again, disappearing behind the counter. "As if two months can put a dent on your wallet."

Chaeyeon never liked people making assumptions about her, and especially about her income but she finds herself not minding it as much when Heehyun does it. Also because what the pink-haired girl said was true. She didn't work for two months but she still made a fortune from royalties.

Heehyun took Chaeyeon's silence as the younger girl admitting that she was right, and Chaeyeon let her unnie have the small victory instead of spending an entire evening rebutting the claim just because. Time was short as it is.

Chaeyeon sees Heehyun scoop a familiar flavour of ice cream into her waffle-cup and nostalgia washes over her like a tsunami.

"I can't believe this shop still carries that flavour."

"I saved it." Heehyun replies simply. Chaeyeon still looked confused though, so the older girl elaborated further. "Eunwoo and Taehyung come up with new flavours every few weeks and we replace the unpopular flavours with new and improved versions whenever we get the chance."

Heehyun finishes off the dessert with a drizzle of strawberry syrup and took a moment to admire her handiwork. Chaeyeon could see the pride in her unnie's eyes and a pang of guilt hit her then, realising that her best friend had discovered a talent while she's been gone and she wasn't there to see the moment all of this came to fruition. She's been gone for too long.

"All flavours are at risk of getting chopped, except for this one. I make this one personally. Just in case." Heehyun informs her, setting the cup of Strawberry Cheesecake flavoured ice cream onto the table infront of Chaeyeon while handing the latter a spoon.

"In case of what?" Chaeyeon asks as she gingerly accepts the spoon, muttering a quick thank you as she did.

Heehyun didn't answer immediately, instead choosing to take a seat in the chair opposite of Chaeyeon. Folding her hands on the table, Heehyun watches Chaeyeon carefully as if studying her features. Committing every contour and blemish to memory and the idol could feel her face heating up as a result of the intense stare.

Heehyun leans forward slightly, lips parting momentarily before closing again as if she was contemplating the right thing to say and feeling how the answers tasted on her lips before voicing them out loud. Those piercing green eyes were fixated on Chaeyeon's own black ones and the idol found that looking away was impossible. She was falling deeper and deeper into that emerald hue and her mind felt as if she was both floating and sinking simultaneously.

"In case you came back."

With that statement Chaeyeon comes crashing to the ground hard.

The guilt she felt earlier couldn't hold a candle to what she's feeling now. There was a look of sorrow in the emerald eyes fixed on her and it drove shivers down her spine. Chaeyeon was a mess of guilt. She's been feeling guilty since she stepped into town earlier. Hell, she's been feeling guilty since the moment she left 4 years ago.

Chaeyeon averted her eyes, trying to look at anything other than the girl sitting across from her. Her eyes wandered to the shop's dark wooden walls, to the rustic post-modern fixtures and furniture decorating the establishment....She definitely doesn't remember it looking like this back then. Heehyun has definitely spruced the place up.

"...It's a nice shop, isn't it? I keep up with the shop's Instagram. Is it only the four of you running it? That's amazing."

"Yeah, small team. Close like family though." Heehyun chuckled lightly, as if her previous statement held stories that she just couldn't begin to unravel. "We've managed to build up quite a good rep over the years. We have a loyal celebrity clientele. Super Junior met up here a few weeks ago for their reunion. All the members were present."

Chaeyeon chirped up at the news. "Really? SuJu-sunbaenim? That's incredible!" The idol glanced over at Heehyun to see the small smile play on the older girl's face.

"Yeah. We've had a few other idols come in as well. Always fun to have them, though it gets pretty hectic. Even Sohye stopped by last week, despite training for her debut." Heehyun stated, the smile on her face growing wider for a brief moment before dropping entirely.

"....But where have you been?"

Chaeyeon could only take a few seconds of eye contact before those green eyes proved too much for her. The idol fixed her gaze downwards, fingers absentmindedly caressing the grain of the wooden table. "I...I've been busy."

"The shop's been open for two years Chaeyeon." A pause, before Heehyun continued in a much quieter voice. "I've waited for you."

It was said in such a low voice but it might as well have been shouted to Chaeyeon's face, the impact those 4 words had on her. Chaeyeon could feel every measure of sorrow and hurt in Heehyun's voice tugging on her heartstrings and it was almost unrecognisable. Her unnie was confident and strong, not...not weak like this. What has she done to her best friend?

"Unnie...I-I can—"

"No, Chaeyeon."

The younger girl winced at the amount of venom lacing Heehyun's voice. That tone has never been used on her before. Heehyun was always soft and gentle, tender and kind to the point of smothering to Chaeyeon. She could feel her heart clenching with every word that followed.

"No, let me get this out. I've waited for you. In fact, I feel like I've been waiting my entire LIFE for you. No calls, no messages, no letters heck not even a postcard I-I mean....I mean you just up and left and pretended I never existed! You...Do you even know how broken you left me....?"

"...I'm s-sorry unni—"

"—And when you did show up it was when I already had a girlfriend, and you just made things worse by showing up and being—just being YOU! What was I to do? It's...it's insanity! How I just can't get over you! And then you left again. And then Dani left. And then Nayoung and Sohye and Somi...."

Heehyun let out a shaky sigh, and with her gaze trained onto the table Chaeyeon could see the older girl's hands curl into a fist before relaxing again several times. She shouldn't have come back. This was a mistake. What was she even hoping to happen when she walked through that door? For Heehyun to come running into her arms and whisper sweet nothings into her ears? Pretty optimistic thinking on her part.

Chaeyeon knew that she deserved to be yelled at. Frankly it's been a long time coming but that didn't mean she was going to take it lying down. It's not like the past few years have been a walk in the park for her.

"Why did you stay unnie?"

Heehyun scoffed. "Excuse me?"

Chaeyeon finally willed herself to look up at Heehyun, bracing herself for the piercing green eyes burning holes into her. "....Why did you stay? With the popularity of this store you could have easily moved to Seoul and branched out. There's nothing here for you—"

"It isn't so easy for all of us Chae." Heehyun cut her off, dismissing the idol simply while breaking their eye contact. Chaeyeon could feel the frustration inside her coming to a boil as a result of Heehyun's flippant reply and she slammed a palm onto the table, causing the older girl to jump slightly.

"Well then it's not fair for me unnie! You knew from the very start that I was going to leave! I've never kept my idol aspirations a secret, and you even got your kicks out of dating an aspiring trainee! You knew I was going to leave this town from the moment you became my girlfriend so why are you blaming all this on me NOW?! 4 years after we broke up?!"

"Because...!" Heehyun's voice had risen in volume but she seemed to have noticed, catching herself mid-sentence.

The air grew heavy as the pink-haired shopkeeper made attempts to steady her own breathing while Chaeyeon waited for an answer, knuckles turning white from gripping the table too tightly.

"Because." Heehyun began again, sounding much calmer and composed as opposed to before. "....Because I always knew that you were going to leave this town, but I didn't think that you would actually leave me."

It was like a punch to Chaeyeon's gut. She was at a loss for words and for a moment she had forgotten how to breathe. The green eyes that she had fallen in love with was currently looking at her like she was a stranger. The thought hurt Chaeyeon more than she could ever imagine it would.

"Hows the ice-cream?" Heehyun asks after what feels like an eternity of silence. Chaeyeon looks down at the cup in her hands, having only eaten half of it's creamy contents before her conversation with Heehyun occupied her attention. Now all she's left with is a cup half full of melted Strawberry Cheesecake.

Wasting ice cream? Chaeyeon wasn't one to do so. Wasting ice cream made by Heehyun's own hands? Inconceivable.

Throwing idol grace and reputation out the window Chaeyeon brought the cup up to her lips and drank up it's contents in only a few gulps. "Delicious." Chaeyeon stated while wiping the mess she made on her face with a handy napkin. "Just like how I remembered it." She belatedly added. Heehyun looked amused.

"Yeah? I'm glad."

"You really have a knack for this."

"Well of course Chae. I own an ice cream shop. The least I could do is know how to make good ice cream yeah?"

"....Yeah. Right. Of course."

This was getting awkward fast, and Chae was only vaguely aware that she was on a time limit here and that she couldn't stay in this town forever. Time to cut to the chase. Her real reason for coming here. To make amends.

"Unnie, I'm sorry."

"For? You don't have to be. I know it's weird that I can make ice cream now. I don't blame you for being surprised. If you think this is impressive you should see all the I can do on Microsoft Excel now."

"No, no I mean for everything. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to take your smile away. For leaving you, for leaving us behind. I just...I had my dreams to chase."

Heehyun nodded in response. She knew the story. She's read the book twice and watched the movie adaptation. She didn't need Chaeyeon rehashing her idol dreams and the story of why she had to leave for the billionth time.

"Was it worth it?" Heehyun asks simply, expression unreadable.

"....It was."

Heehyun nods again, looking down at her feet and pulls a stray piece of lint off her tshirt.

"But I wish I could've enjoyed it with you."

Heehyun's head snaps up at that. A hollow laugh leaves the older girl's lips and Chaeyeon could only offer a weak smile in response.

"Greedy little git, aren't we?"

Chaeyeon shrugs, not really knowing what to say at this point. "Some would call it ambitious."

Heehyun genuinely laughs at that. If her producers could somehow figure out how to make music that sounds as beautiful as Ki Heehyun's laughter Chaeyeon would probably never need to work another day in her life. She'll just kick back and bathe in the royalties. So enamored with Heehyun's laughter was Chaeyeon that she didn't even notice the older girl ever leaving her chair. The next thing she knew Heehyun was already standing right next to her, leaning in to retrieve the empty cup out of her hands. Suddenly being in such close proximity to Heehyun had Chaeyeon's mind reeling for a moment.

Heehyun must have noticed the effect she was having on Chaeyeon because the older girl's movements stilled briefly and for a fraction of a second she actually looked apologetic for startling the idol. Retrieving the empty cup from Chaeyeon's lax fingers, Heehyun took it to the large trash bin closest to her office door and proceded to lean against the door’s wooden surface after disposing the cup instead of returning to her chair.

"So...I guess it's time to get into the meat of things with our little game of 20 questions?"

"Is that why you're standing all the way there unnie?"

Heehyun let out a deep sigh, running her hands through her hair in what Chaeyeon assumes to be frustration. Heehyun looked hot with her hair all messed up like that though. Chaeyeon audibly gulped and had to force herself to pay attention to what the girl was saying.

"I forgot what it's like being within feet of you Chae. You have your own gravitational field or something. I wanna punch you and/or hug you just to find an excuse to get closer to you."

"We hugged earlier. Is the punch coming sometime soon?"

Heehyun laughed dryly. "Don't tempt me you little ."

"You're awfully tempting yourself, unnie."

"See?! There! You confuse me so much! First you pretend I don't exist for a few years, and then you come out on national T.V telling the wonderful people of Korea that you're still in love with me. What was that episode of Happy Together all about Chae?! Was that confession just a ratings grab or do you just have piss-poor timing?"

"I meant every word I said unnie. Every single word said and implied. And yes, my timing is pretty piss-poor."

"Why now? What took you so long? I...do you know how long I've been waiting for you? I don't mean to sound like a broken record but I've been waiting for you for a bloody long time. Even when I was with Dani I was still waiting for you. Heck it's been so long I've even learned how to make ice cream and managed to grow an average business into an award-winning billion-Won enterprise while you were gone."

Heehyun's eyebrows were furrowed as she pleaded for an explanation as to why they were in the situation they're in now. Chaeyeon had one ready, but she just couldn't bring herself to voice it out. Years of keeping it in and lying to herself that all she ever needed in her life was her career wasn't going to be undone so easily. Still, the look of misery wracking the most beautiful face Chaeyeon would ever see in her life was tearing her to pieces. Why couldn't she say it? Why was she so weak?

Heehyun knew her better than anyone though. She knew when Chaeyeon needed a little more of a push, and she knew exactly which buttons to press to do so.

"Look Chae, I couldn't chase after you because I didn't know if you still felt the same way. You were the one that ended us, so I had no choice but to wait. Look around you." Heehyun spread her arms, gesturing to their surroundings. To the shop they were currently in. "These walls are my roots. Stuck firmly in the middle of this no-name town, unable to move on. Please tell me if the waiting was worth it."

Chaeyeon could see the pleading look in Heehyun’s eyes, overlapping the sadness and desperation. She couldn’t really tell Heehyun the waiting was worth it because...well, Chaeyeon didn’t know if she herself was worth waiting for. She’s hurt this girl so much. The pain she’s caused Heehyun was rivaled only by the intense love she has for the older girl. How could she say with her own tongue that she was worth all that suffering?

"I was scared, unnie." Chaeyeon began, voice low and shaky. Heehyun would probably have missed it if she wasn’t already hanging onto the idol’s every word.

"Scared? Scared of what?"

"Unnie, you're the best thing to ever happen to me and leaving you was also the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've spent countless hours just...wishing I could be back here with you."

Chaeyeon leaves her chair and begins walking towards Heehyun. She needs to let the older girl know. Heehyun has to know that she’s never stopped loving her.

"You're the only thing that could have stopped me. If I had come back...I was afraid I wouldn't be able to return to Seoul. When you invited me into Dani-unnie's apartment back then to watch movies that just confirmed it. How much of a hold you have on me. If you hadn't been in a relationship back then I probably wouldn't have been able to leave.”

The distance between them has closed, and Chaeyeon stops right in front of Heehyun. She notices the older girl stiffen up considerably at the close proximity but she couldn’t care less because time was running out. In about an hour she would have to return to being locked away in a dorm room in the middle of Seoul.

Standing here before the unconventional beauty that is Ki Heehyun…would it be wrong for her to just...reach out and caress Heehyun’s face? The older girl was so close. So unbelievably beautiful. How did she ever manage to gather the strength to leave this woman behind? Fame and success has fulfilled certain needs and wants that she has but true happiness is here, sharing the same air as the girl she loves.

"I left my heart back here with you, unnie. I had no use for it as an idol. I didn't need a heart to make it in the entertainment industry. I was scared that everything that I've worked towards would have been lost if I came back to you."

"But you're here now." Heehyun choked out, voice sounding like she hasn’t used it in a century.

"I’m here, and I'm suffocating unnie. I...I need my heart to survive after all. I need you." Chaeyeon bites her lip to prevent herself from losing control but the tears are already welling in her eyes and breathing was already getting difficult. She’s been holding back all these emotions for so long, teaching herself not to feel anything that she’s forgotten what it was like to feel human again. Love felt beautiful. Love was overwhelming. Love hurts. It hurt so much.

"Chae..." Heehyun begins, but stops when the younger girl reaches out to her and weakly tugs at her clothes, pulling her closer as the latter sobs in desperation. There was fear and panic in the idol’s watery eyes and Heehyun had to swallow the lump forming in as Chaeyeon begged her for forgiveness.

"Please unnie. Don't tell me it's too late for me to come back. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I—I'll make it up to you! I promise! I'll—" Chaeyeon’s words dissolve into a mess of sobs and wailing as she cries into Heehyun’s white button-up shirt, clinging onto the garment for dear life..

Perhaps an apology was all Heehyun needed to hear. Perhaps the older girl has already forgiven her prior to this moment. Perhaps there was nothing to forgive in the first place. Chaeyeon would probably never know. As a leading idol, she was trained to always be sure of herself. To exude an aura of confidence so great that nobody would ever doubt her. Since the moment she’s stepped back into this town whoever, she’s been a mess of doubts. Second-guessing everything she could.

Still, there was no doubting the arms that were slowly wrapping their arms around her trembling body, nor the soft lips pressing onto her forehead. As Heehyun bowed her head slightly to whisper into Chaeyeon’s ears, there was no mistaking the words that left the older girl’s lips. No mistaking how beautiful those words sounded, or how complete it made her feel.

"Welcome home, love."

Chaeyeon’s teary eyes widened as she registered the words uttered so gently into her ears. Looking up, she sees Heehyun’s green eyes looking back at her with so much affection. So much longing, it was as if those 4 years never happened. It was as if they were still lovers, hanging out in their favourite ice cream shop after school. All was forgiven.

Heehyun’s pink hair tickled her face due to their close proximity so she reached up to gently brush the strands away, tucking them behind the taller girl’s ear. Chaeyeon’s fingertips brushed the shell of Heehyun’s ear, lightly caressing the older girl’s jawline as she draws her hand back but before her fingers manage to lose all contact with Heehyun’s face Chaeyeon feels a hand cup over her own, guiding it to rest against the older’s cheek. Heehyun nuzzles Chaeyeon’s palm, kissing it lightly and it sends sparks coursing through the idol’s body.

Like they’ve done so many times all those years ago, Chaeyeon tiptoes to bring herself closer to the taller girl’s face while Heehyun leans down to meet her halfway so that their lips can finally meet in a long overdue kiss. It was as if they had rehearsed it a thousand times prior to this, how their lips perfectly melded together. How insanely perfect it felt for Heehyun to be this close to her, how perfectly soft Heehyun’s lips felt against hers. It was something she couldn’t put into words. Instead, she threw her arms around Heehyun’s neck to pull the other girl even closer, to deepen the kiss because now that Chaeyeon has rediscovered perfection how can she settle for anything less?

"I love you." Chaeyeon breathes out as soon as their lips part, panting due to the lack of oxygen but she only allowed herself a few deep breaths before diving forward to reconnect their lips again because any second not spent kissing Heehyun was a moment wasted. Oxygen-deprivation be damned she’ll be the happiest person to have ever lived if she died kissing Ki Heehyun.

"I love you Heehyun-unnie. Oh my gosh I love you so so much—"

This time it was Heehyun cutting her off, stifling Chaeyeon’s outpouring of affection with her lips and the idol didn’t mind it one bit. Hands began roaming everywhere, getting lost in pink tresses and ghosting over pale skin. Heehyun rested her forehead against Chaeyeon’s and a shiver ran up the latter’s spine as those mesmerizing green eyes looked directly into her own, catching Chaeyeon’s breath in .

"I love you Chae. I'll always love you, and don't you forget that. You left your heart here with me, but you took mine away with you when you left. This..." Heehyun paused to pepper Chaeyeon’s face with kisses, causing the younger girl to giggle. "This is what it's like to feel whole again."

"This is what perfection feels like." Chaeyeon stated with a smile, causing Heehyun to mirror it with one of her own.

"You tryinna be cheesier than me?"

"I'm trying to put your mouth to better use, unnie."

And with that simple statement Chaeyeon pounces forward, pinning Heehyun against her office door as the idol begins undoing the buttons to her own shirt, mouth only leaving Heehyun’s to utter proclamations of love, which the older girl accepted in kind. There was a fire in Chaeyeon’s eyes, a raw intensity that Heehyun has never seen before and it excited her. It was thrilling to hear the low growl leave Chaeyeon’s throat while she shrugged off her own shirt, immediately busying herself with taking off Heehyun’s before her own garment even landed on the ground.

"D-Do you—a bed? Or something? I mean, the floor is fine too—"

Chaeyeon’s desperate voice morphed into a low moan as Heehyun’s lips found purchase on a particular spot on the younger girl’s neck, reacquainting herself with the godly creation that is Jung Chaeyeon’s body. As Heehyun feels her shirt getting forcefully yanked off her (she swore she heard the sound of fabric being torn) and nimble fingers begin undoing her belt buckle, the older girl gathers enough of her wits to decide that the floor of her shop was NOT the place she wanted to do this.

"Couch—my office has—good GOD you're all grown up now aren't you? Bloody hell—"
 

Heehyun only managed to get a brief eyeful of Chaeyeon’s curves before the idol was on her again, pressing their bodies together so tightly that both of them were starting to get lightheaded. Hands ventured underneath cotton, rediscovering familiar territory, caressing soft, tender, velvety skin.


"Couch. Couch is g-good ohhh—god please unnie.”
 

Never one to deny Chaeyeon, especially not when she’s making those sounds, Heehyun frantically reaches around behind her for the doorknob, twisting it almost violently and the pair of them stumbled into her office making a beeline for the large, brown, expensive Chesterfield Heehyun had drunkenly purchased after a particularly good financial month.

Chaeyeon shoves Heehyun onto the couch with a light giggle. The older girl watches on in amazement and awe as Jung Chaeyeon, once voted to be one of the most beautiful people on the planet in an independent poll, stands before her wearing a mischievious grin on her beautiful face while slowly stepping out of the last of her undergarments.

The sight leaves Heehyun breathless, and as Chaeyeon pounces onto her prone body with a girlish laugh, Heehyun prepares to have the breath stolen from her lungs again and again within the next hour.


****************************************************

"....You really have to leave?"

Heehyun asks while she struggles to sit upright on the couch. Their earlier session involving intimacy on every flat surface in her office took a toll on her body, making her joints feel like she’s just run a marathon. She watches while Chaeyeon gets dressed from across the room, looking graceful as a swan as she tries her best to hide the love marks with makeup and trying (without much success) to make sense of the -hair on her head.

"Yes babe. I'm sure my manager is already looking for me." Chaeyeon replies, giving up on trying to comb her hair and instead settles for just tying it up into a loose ponytail.

"Mmm." Heehyun nods in understanding. It wasn’t easy, watching the girl she loves leave her again. She tries not to think too much of it—that it wasn’t personal, it was just Chaeyeon’s job that keeps taking her away.

Still, her heart is heavy as she watches Chaeyeon secure the final button on her crumpled up shirt.

"So...what now? What happens to us?" Heehyun was glad that it was Chaeyeon who brings the topic up because she was way too scared to do so herself.

It’s a comforting feeling to know that there was even as “us” to begin with. Heehyun can work with that. It’s just the right amount of affirmation that she needs.

"Well....I kinda have an opening in my life for a girlfriend right now. Would you like to take up the position?"

"Hmmm." Chaeyeon hums lightly while making her way to the couch. Instead of the seat however, Chaeyeon instead chooses to sit on Heehyun’s lap, throwing her arms around the older girl’s neck and staring adoringly into her lover’s face. "Is there a lengthy interview process?"

"Why yes of course! Competition is fierce! You think you’re the only one who wants to be my girlfriend? You gotta show your worth, Jung Chaeyeon-ssi."

Chaeyeon laughs brightly before lightly slapping her unnie’s shoulder. Goodness Heehyun could listen to the girl laugh for hours. Maybe even days or months. Heck, make Chaeyeon’s laughter the soundtrack of her life if she could.

“That’s not good. What if I don’t make the final cut?”

“Hmm...that’ll be slightly problematic won’t it?”

“Yeah. What will you do without a girlfriend?”

What will she do indeed. Chaeyeon pulls Heehyun down so that their lips could meet again. The kiss quickly became heated, with tongues battling for dominance and Heehyun reaching up to undo Chaeyeon’s shirt again only for her hand to be swatted away by the third button, much to the older girl’s dismay.

"Well Miss Jung Chaeyeon, I must admit your resume is rather impressive." Heehyun gasps, breathless from the kiss and from just being around Chaeyeon.

"I love you Ki Heehyun."

Heehyun will probably never get tired of hearing that, and Chaeyeon will probably never get tired of saying it.

"And I love you. Jung Chaeyeon, my beloved and dazzlingly beautiful girlfriend."

Chaeyeon squeals, kissing Heehyun’s cheek. "Will be kind of a thrill, won't it? Having a secret relationship? I'm kinda excited about it."

"Yah. I'll miss you, you little . This isn't even a long distance relationship. There'll be NO communication whatsoever between us."

Chaeyeon gently brings a hand up to cup Heehyun’s cheek, soothing the skin with her thumb. She sees the tears start to well up in Heehyun’s eyes again. She knows this isn’t going to be easy, buy she’ll try. She’ll make a bigger effort this time. Heehyun was worth all the hiding and sneaking around. "We've managed it for 4 years, we can do it again. It'll get better. Eventually they'll let me out of the house and they'll give me my phone back. We've just got to hold on till then okay?"

Heehyun pouts. Chaeyeon squeals again at the adorable sight and that just upsets the older girl even know. Such a little kid. Who was the older one again?

"...In the meantime unnie, you can pass the time by staring at the Chaeyeon shrine you have outside."

This just serves to make Heehyun pout even more, a hint of red colouring her cheeks. Chaeyeon smiled deviously at finding something to unnie about again.

"It's a display, not a shrine."

"A display of affection?"

"That joke's been used before!"

Chaeyeon bursts into laughter after seeing how upset the older girl was, and try as she might Heehyun just couldnt hold the frown on her face. Not after hearing that melodic laughter.

As if drawn to the girl Heehyun leans forward and shuts Chaeyeon’s laughter up with a kiss, which lead to even more kisses, and even more hand swatting as Heehyun’s hands began roaming a little but too brazenly over her girlfriend’s body. It was late. As much as she wants to, Chaeyeon knew she really had to be going. It was for both of their sakes. The more obedient she was, the less uptight her agency will be.

With one last quick peck on the lips, Chaeyeon pulls away from Heehyun to stand up. A last ditch effort to look more presentable was quickly abandoned after she took a quick glance in the mirror. Messed up hair, wrinkled clothes, swollen lips...there was no saving this. Chaeyeon just prayed that Dispatch wasn’t waiting outside the shop in a bush somewhere.

Chaeyeon begins walking towards the door, each step heavier than the last. She didn’t want to leave. She really didn’t. She turns around to see Heehyun watching her from the couch and she could feel those green eyes forming chains around her ankles, rooting her to this spot. To this town. To Heehyun herself.

Leaving was just as hard as she imagined it to be.

"Come with me.” Chaeyeon hears herself say, sounding almost desperate. Almost begging. “Come with me. To Seoul. Open up a branch there. I'll bring all my celebrity friends over to endorse it."

Heehyun’s eyes were unreadable. Chaeyeon was afraid that she might’ve touched a nerve, but the older girl cracked a small smile a few moments later. “I'll...consider it."

Good enough. That was all Chaeyeon could hope for. “One last kiss before I go?"

Heehyun was almost too eager, darting off the couch and pressing her (still ) body against Chaeyeon’s, pinning the idol against the office door in a repeat of what happened earlier before capturing Chaeyeon’s lips in what was probably the deepest kiss of the night. Arms held each other close, both not wanting to seperate from the other, both trying to shower the other with as much love as they possibly could because they don’t know what the future will hold. They don’t know if there will even be a next time for this. This was their moment, and this will be the last kiss that they will hold onto until they meet again.

After several eternities have passed they finally parted, the distance between their lips might as well be galaxies apart now. Heehyun rests her forehead against Chaeyeon’s, closing her eyes and just....basking in the warmth her girlfriend provides. The comfort.

"Last kiss eh?” Heehyun muttered, low, but just loud enough for Chaeyeon to catch. “That...that's a pretty decent name. For this shop. God knows how we managed to be as successful as we did without having a proper name. Last Kiss Creamery....because a last kiss will always stay in your heart."

"I like it." Chaeyeon’s smile was blinding. Dazzling even. Heehyun knew she had to let the younger girl go now because she was seconds away from picking her girlfriend up and locking her away in a trunk somewhere so that they could be together forever.

"You have my number Chae. Call me as soon as you have a phone, alright?"

"You got it unnie!"

Heehyun nods and smiles. With only the slightest bit of hesitance she reaches behind Chaeyeon to twist the door open, watching as the love of her life leaves her once again to chase her dreams. At least this time she was a part of that dream. That was more than enough.

"OH MY GOD BOSS PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!"

Heehyun’s head snaps up to see Eunwoo, Minkyeong, Taehyung and DIA’s Yebin seated around a table right in front of her office. Heehyun stood frozen in the doorway in all her glory before the camera shutter sound from Minky’s phone snapped her straight out of her trance.

With an uncharacteristically girlish shriek Heehyun runs back into the privacy of her office, slamming the door shut. Yebin lets out a whistle as she stands up, extending an arm for Chaeyeon to grab onto as she escorts her friend towards the store’s exit. Eunwoo runs up to them before they leave, slipping a piece of paper into Yebin’s hand and Chaeyeon bursts into laughter at the sheer happiness on her friend’s face. Dinner must have went well.

Chaeyeon remembers to pick her coat up from the rack by the entrance and hugs it for warmth as she steps out into the cold winter air with Yebin by her side, a newfound motivation driving their feet forward.

This no name town located to the left of Buchon didn’t have much, but what it did have you couldn’t find anywhere else.

Back in her office Heehyun sighs, staring at her reflection in the mirror and laughing at the state she was in. She reached up to her hair, pulling a few strands of fading pink in front of her eyes for examination. Maybe it’s time she dyed her hair after all. Somi would be happy. That girl has been trying to get her to dye her hair for years now. A change of pace has never hurt anybody before. Heehyun could do with some change in her life.

“....Seoul eh?”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There it is. The final chapter.

I'm...I'm pretty emotional right now, not going to lie. This fic was first published in August of 2016. So many things have happened throughout that duration. I've started jobs. I've left jobs. I've fallen in love, as well as fallen out of love. I've...this fic means so much to me. 

So do all of you. All of you readers who have been reading this since Day 1. A shoutout to all of you. You have no idea what all of you mean to me. For the longest time, writing felt like all I had. It was like my bread and butter. To have all of you readers commenting, following along with my writing, ENJOYING what I write...I have no words. Thank you, thank you thank you thank you.

I've worried a lot while writing this ending. It was hard. But I think I managed to do justice to it. I thought I would switch it up for the final chapter and put in it Chaeyeon's perspective, because that's something that I didn't do enough of. It was weird to write Heehyun angry at Chaeyeon, but I thought it was appropriate. I put myself in Heehyun's shoes and wondered what I would be feeling in her position. She never really had that heart to heart with Chaeyeon. She never really voiced out all her opinions. It just logical. The reason why Heehyun refuses to leave this town.

Do you know what was the hardest thing to write in this chapter? I couldn't find a way to get Chaeyeon to Heehyun's shop while she was under house arrest. For the life of me I struggled with that for MONTHS. I couldn't come up with a way that makes sense!!! In the end, Eunchae's arm had to break. Sorry Eunchae!

To be completely honest, that scene with Chaeyeon and Heehyun making out....the original version was a lot more...intense. just seemed out of place though in this fic so I scrapped that entire section altogether. This is just enough I think.

This won't be the last Catchae fic I write. Heehyun is still probably my favourite idol in the world. I'll write more. It just won't be anytime soon, since I've already started the spin-off to this fic which you can find HERE! :D 

The spin off will be two years into the future, but told through the perspective of a fresh pair of eyes. Pristin's Kang Yaebin is the protagonist, and it will be a Minkyebin fic. Heehyun and Chaeyeon will make appearances, as well as a few other characters. Hint: Eunwoo will have a significant role in this fic. Pristin squad! 

........

again, thank you all for coming along with me on this journey. thank you for every comment, every upvote, every...every view! I love all of you very much! :D 

Hope to see all of you again! Hopefully in my Minkyebin fic heehee #shamelessplug

Oh! Uh, idk in case y'all wanna like hit me up in real life or something i'mma leave my ig here i guess and y'all can dm me if you like and we can talk about how im a horrible writer that updates only once every 6 months :'D my ig is basically just my sneaker collection and my streetwear ish. im ty at taking nice pics tho.

Till next time guys!