“You know…staring at the door doesn’t make it open.”

If Chaeyeon had heard what Heehyun had said, the younger girl gave no indication of it because she still stood unmoving in front of Dani’s front door, eyes fixed upon the doorknob as if she was having an internal battle with herself.

Heehyun had no idea why they were out here staring at the doorway to the house they were meant to go in, but her arm was starting to grow tired from holding up the pineapple she had taken back from Chaeyeon after the girl had dropped it on her foot earlier. After about 30 seconds had passed, Heehyun decided to try again.

“Like uh…the handle. Use the handle. The door is unlocked.”

Still nothing. Chaeyeon still stood like a statue (a beautiful statue, chiseled out of the purest marble) blocking her way to the door, and Heehyun was starting to run out of what little patience she had.

“Did you forget how doors work or something? Do they not have doors in Seoul?”

Frustration and the weight of her pineapple finally got the best of the redhead (seriously maybe this pineapple wasn’t exactly the best idea) so she reached around Chaeyeon to open the door herself, which somehow managed to trigger a response from the younger girl. Chaeyeon jolted back to life and a small pale hand shot up to grip Heehyun’s by the wrist just as she started to turn the handle of the door.

“Wait! I don’t know…It’s been so long I mean…How do I even start a conversation with them?” Panicked black eyes looked back at Heehyun, giving the older girl a glimpse into the inner turmoil her beautiful friend had been battling with for the past 2 minutes they were standing out here.

Was that all it was? Heehyun could imagine the nervous Chaeyeon running a hundred and one different simulations as to what kind of reception the people behind this door would give her and for the hundredth time today, she had to refrain from laughing at how cute Chaeyeon was.

“Is pointlessly worrying about nothing one of the special talents you use on variety shows?”

A yelp of pain soon followed Heehyun’s quip when an annoyed Chaeyeon stomped on her foot in response. “Unnie this isn’t funny! I’m freaking out here! I think I’m having a panic attack or something. I can’t breathe.”

For a brief instance Heehyun contemplated jokingly responding with a “I can give you mouth to mouth if you’d like” but she herself wasn’t sure how much of that statement was actually a joke, so she opted for the much safer approach of patting Chae on the shoulder and giving (what she thought) was a reassuring smile. “Try starting with a ‘hello’. We’ll see how it goes from there, okay?”

And at that, Heehyun turned the handle all the way and pushed the door open, ignoring the look of panic on Chaeyeon’s face.

“Cathy is that you?” a voice called out from the living room as soon as Heehyun stepped into the house.

“I’m back Peasants! And I return with your HD cable, a pineapple, and the most adorable stray I’ve ever seen. Come look at how precious she is!”

“You WHAT?!”

Heehyun swore that she could count the amount of times she’s heard her normally calm girlfriend raise her voice on one hand. It never failed to amuse her though because Dani was always relaxed. Dani was serene. Dani did yoga and all that breathing exercise bull. Dani wasn’t supposed to be running through the house in a panic, yet only Heehyun could cause her girlfriend to do so.

“Babe there better not be an animal with you right now because my parents are going to FREAK if they come home to find—Chae…? Chaeyeon?” If the earlier yell amused Heehyun, the dumbstruck look on Dani’s face as the girl stopped midsentence as soon as she saw their best friend was almost hilarious.

“Chaeyeon! What are you doing here?” It took a moment for Dani’s brain to continue working again but when it eventually did the tall girl skipped forward and enveloped Chaeyeon in a tight hug. The younger girl looked sheepish at the start, but the inevitable warmth of Dani’s toaster-hugs eventually crept up to Chaeyeon’s features and her expression softened considerably, melting into the embrace.

“I've missed you unnie.” Chaeyeon mumbled while pressed into Dani, a content smile on her face.

“Whut did somebody say Chaeyeon? Where?!”

There was a rush of movement from the living room, and then suddenly the small entranceway of the Kim residence was filled with their loud rambunctious friends who had come to check out the commotion. A chorus of surprised exclamations lead to Chaeyeon being passed around amongst them as they hugged her with joy. Seeing the bright smile on Chaeyeon’s face as Somi tried to get the idol to give her a piggyback ride made Heehyun question why the younger girl was worried in the first place. This was where she grew up, and these were the people that knew her before she became the visual of DIA. Of course they would welcome her back with open arms.

“I’ll take that.”

Heehyun was momentarily brought out of her thoughts by Yeonjung who had taken away the pineapple she was holding and was now walking away with it.

“Where are you going with that? That’s my pineapple. I like that pineapple.”

Yeonjung looked back and gave her a nonchalant look with an eyebrow raised. “I’m going to cut it up and serve it. It’s almost time for some people to get hungry.”

Heehyun narrowed her eyes at Yeonjung’s retreating back in suspicion because the loudmouth was never usually this nice and caring. Choosing to give the girl the benefit of the doubt, Heehyun just shrugged her shoulders and followed the gaggle of girls in front of her as they lead a slightly overwhelmed Chaeyeon into the living room.

Chaeyeon was actually doing a pretty good job of multitasking as she juggled between answering the group’s bombardment of questions, giving Somi a piggyback ride and taking selfies with Jieqiong while walking (trudging?) into the largest space in the house. The idol suddenly froze up when she noticed an unfamiliar person sitting demurely on one of the sofas, hands folded politely on her lap and eyes that looked like they were…crying out for help?

“Oh hello! I’m Jung Chaeyeon! I don’t think we’ve met before.” Chaeyeon introduced herself automatically with a sharp bow that threatened to fling Somi off of her.

“Just a hello? I was expecting you to do one of your idol greetings.” Chungha noted, slightly amused.

“Yeah Chae! Come on just try it for us one time! Dooo It, AMAZING! D-I-A!” Doyeon started while punching Chaeyeon’s shoulder, causing the younger girl to wince and beg the girls to not embarrass her in front of this stranger she had never met before.

“H-hello. I’m Kim Sohye. It’s a p-pleasure to meet you.”

The stuttering girl worried Chaeyeon, and the beauty walked slowly towards the frightened Sohye, all while still piggybacking a Somi. Chaeyeon held Sohye’s shoulders and stared firmly into the girl’s eyes, seemingly unaware that the close proximity was nearly causing the already nervous girl in front of her to have a full blown anxiety attack.

“Sohye-ssi.”

“Y-yes?”

“Are these girls holding you hostage? It’s okay, you can tell me. They only kidnap people for fun sometimes they don’t mean anything by it.”

“Oh C’MON CHAE! We’ve never kidnapped anyone before! Okay, maybe once. And the principal’s cat that other time. But C’MON CHAE we’re trying to be friends with her! Sohye tell her!” Sejeong whined and the rest of the girls echoed their dissatisfaction at Chaeyeon’s accusation, which the idol simply just laughed off.

“I’m here a-as their tutor. I think. We’re not doing much studying today though. We’ve just been watching movies but I think I kind of like Harry Potter now so I guess I’m staying because of that but wow I’m such a huge fan of you Chaeyeon-ssi I can’t believe you’re in front of me r-right now.” Sohye sputtered out and Chaeyeon could only offer the girl in front of her a sympathetic look. Somi had jumped off of Chaeyeon’s back to give Sohye a hug while squealing at how cute her penguin was.

“Is this how people normally act around DIA’s Jung Chaeyeon? Wow this is actually kinda cool to see.” Dani teased while Chaeyeon pouted at her.

“I’m actually quite popular unnie!”

“Sorry kiddo. To us you’ll forever be the Chaeyeon that pooped her pants in grade school because she had too much spicy food.” Heehyun chimed in, ruffling Chaeyeon’s hair and causing a bright tinge of pink to colour Chaeyeon’s cheeks, made even more apparent due to how pale her skin normally was.

“UNNIE! Not in front of a fan!” Chaeyeon whined in complaint while Sohye just stood wonderstruck, muttering “Chaeyeon-ssi can poop….?” in disbelief.

“Are you really that big a fan of her Sohye-ya?” Doyeon inquired curiously.

“Yes I am. I sing and dance to ‘Somehow’ all the time! I know all the lyrics and the dance moves.” Sohye answered proudly, but she faltered when she saw the mischievous looks on everyone’s face. Everyone except Chaeyeon, who still looked adorably clueless. Even sweet Dani had an uncharacteristic grin on her face that could only spell trouble.

Heehyun slowly approached Sohye and poked the shorter girl on the chest with a slender finger, those green eyes spelling out a challenge that Sohye wasn’t all too keen on deciphering.

“Do it then.”

“W-what? Do what?”

“Sing. Dance. If you’re that big of a fan, I’m sure that won’t be a problem right Sohye? Or were you just kidding about being Chaeyeon’s fan? Is ‘Somehow’ even a DIA song?”

“Unnie of course it is! It was my debut song! How can you not know that?!”

“Pfft. Like I care about your discography.” Heehyun scoffed.

(Heehyun actually owned all 2 of DIA’s mini-albums physically and digitally, including the repackaged edition with the green cover plus an extra copy of the ‘On The Road’ mini album because she didn’t manage to get Chaeyeon’s photocard the first time around and she had to have that picture of Chaeyeon in that cute blue dress. But the girls didn’t have to know that. Heehyun was aloof and cool, not a fangirl. Never a fangirl.)

“I-I can’t perform in front of Chaeyeon-ssi! It’s HER SONG! It’s too embarrassing!”

“How about if Chae gives you her autograph if you put on a little performance for her, Penguin?” Chungha suggested, and Sohye’s eyes lit up immediately at the thought of possibly earning her idol’s autograph. She looked to Chaeyeon for confirmation and the idol just simply nodded.

“Even better, if you give me your address Sohye-ssi I’ll ask my management to send you an album that’s autographed by all of the DIA members.”

“Wait why don’t I get albums sent to me? I’m your classmate!”

“Former classmate. And you never asked, Som.”

A mini argument broke out in the living room as the girls started to complain about the lack of free merchandise to Chaeyeon, but Sohye paid them no mind because she was battling her own inner struggles right now. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself in front of her idol, but free autographed album though. How was she to say no? Swallowing up all her dignity Sohye made a choice that she was sure she was going to regret.

“O-oneureun waenji jami an wayo~” Sohye chose to close her eyes and just start singing, not bothering to even find a backing track online to accompany her performance. The sudden flailing of limbs that was Sohye’s dancing caught everyone’s attention and they stopped bickering to watch in fascination as Sohye did her thing.

To be honest they weren’t quite sure what “Sohye’s thing” was but whatever it is the girl didn’t seem to be doing it very well. Maybe Heehyun was telling the truth when she said she wasn’t familiar with DIA’s discography because the song Sohye was singing seemed unfamiliar to her. Chaeyeon herself was reminded of the jazz remakes of her group’s songs that she would hear blasting out of café’s when she performed guerilla concerts in the streets of Hongdae. This wasn’t a jazz remake though. Sohye’s version was…very far from jazzy. In fact, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that the only similar part was the "remake" portion of it. Sohye was remaking her group's song into...something quite perplexing to be honest. 

“—hangsang isseojul baro neo neo neo.”

It was dead silent. It was the quietest Sohye has ever heard them. She still had her eyes closed because she was too afraid of what she’ll see if she opens them. At least they allowed her to finish the whole song…?

“…Wow. That was…” Jieqiong started, not quite finding the right words to describe what had just taken place in front of them.

“Terrible.”

“Nayoung! Be nice! She just needs some practice….I think. I mean she wasn’t that bad! She was hitting the beat at least.”

“Yeah Chungha. She was hitting the beat to a pulp.” Nayoung’s stone cold voice and brutal honesty were like arrows being shot into poor Sohye’s scared body.

“I don’t get it Sejeong-unnie. I watched Happy Feet! Penguins can dance right? Right?!”

“Shhh it’s okay Somi c’mere. You can still believe in movies if you want! Don’t let one bad penguin get you down!”

“Chae are you sure that was your debut song? Like, are you positive? I don’t remember your group ever having seizures as part of the choreo.”

Sohye clenched her eyes to fight back her tears. Why did she do that? Why did she just make a fool of herself in front of all these people who were willing to be friends with her earlier? She was doing so good until she chose to be stupid. So, so stupid.

“Hey.”

A soft palm cupped her cheek, and Sohye dared herself to open her watery eyes to face this person who was brave enough to touch an embarrassment like her. When she did though, she was met with Chaeyeon’s beautiful face looking at her with adoration, and a warm smile that nearly caused her to unravel. It was like staring directly at the sun, the effect DIA’s visual had on her.

“Thank you so much for covering my group’s song. It’s such an honor. Would you like the autograph to be addressed to Sohye-ssi or Sohye-unnie?”

Sohye’s brain stopped functioning momentarily. Chaeyeon wasn’t insulted? Well, she didn’t look insulted. A brief scan around the room showed that everyone else didn’t look revolted or angry either. They just looked amused. Even scarier Nayoung and Heehyun actually looked at her with some form of pride in their eyes. Sohye trembled and a few tears trailed down her cheeks as she answered wholeheartedly.

“Call me unnie please!”

There was a laugh, and Sohye furiously wiped her tears as the group convened around them to pull Sohye into a reassuring embrace, affectionately ruffling her hair and teasing her lightly. She understood that they were probably just trying to get her comfortable around Chaeyeon, and making fun of people was just something that they did. She actually felt accepted into the group now, and if you were to tell her a month prior to this that she would be hugging the She-Demon Cathy Ki in Dani’s living room she would have thought you were mental.

“Okay, all this emotional stuff is making me hungry. Is there any food here?” Doyeon spoke up and seemingly out of nowhere Yeonjung appeared beside her, holding out a plate of perfectly cut pineapple slices.

“Here. Pineapple slices. Sorry it took awhile. Today was a bad day to find out I at cutting up fruit.” Yeonjung admitted sheepishly, and Heehyun noticed that there was significantly lesser pineapple slices on that plate than what was expected from such a large fruit.

“Aww! Did you cut this up just for me? How did you know I was going to get hungry around this time Yeonjungie?” Doyeon questioned Yeonjung while playfully nudging the latter with her shoulder.

“As if. I cut it up for everyone here, don’t get too ahead of yourself.” Yeonjung tried her best to seem annoyed by Doyeon, but Heehyun’s sharp eyes noticed the blush on Yeonjung’s cheek as she swatted away Doyeon’s teasing. How suspicious…

*****************************************************************************************

They were well on their way through their 6^th Harry Potter movie, but Heehyun had lost all interest in what was playing on the TV screen about 2 movies ago. By the looks of it, the same could be said for everyone else because save for her and Nayoung, everyone else in the living room was sprawled out fast asleep. The sun had set about an hour ago and Dani had taken the liberty of draping blankets over all the sleeping figures like the sweetheart that she is.

Speaking of Dani, she and Chaeyeon had left for the kitchen about half an hour ago but they hadn’t returned yet. Growing bored of being the only one living amongst the dead in the living room (Nayoung didn’t count as living. That girl was so quiet at times she may as well be asleep) Heehyun decided to make her way to the kitchen as well to fix herself a drink and/or a sandwich.

Threading carefully so that she doesn’t wake up or accidentally step on the girls, Heehyun navigated through the sprawl of bodies like a cat in a minefield. She made it to the kitchen eventually, but not before nearly stepping on Doyeon and Yeonjung’s hands along the way. Why the heck were those two holding hands while sleeping? It was as if they had previously schemed to trip the redhead or something. Heehyun took one last look at their intertwined fingers on the floor, narrowing her eyes in suspicion before turning her attention to the slips of conversation drifting out from the kitchen.

“……and you know how Heehyun is like.”

“Yeah. She always needs someone to take care of her. She’s like a house cat.”

Heehyun stopped in her tracks at that. Were they talking about her? The redhead crept closer towards the kitchen, stopping at the edge of the entrance and trying her best to not be seen. She wasn’t the eavesdropping type normally. She made it a point to not care about other people, but since the topic was about her and the people involved in the conversation comprised of her current girlfriend and her ex, she was allowed.

Right? Totally justified. She wasn’t doing anything wrong at all.

“Well, that’s where she got the Cathy nickname right? I swear Chae I think you and I are the only two humans alive that still calls her by her real name.”

There was a light chuckle that was unmistakably Chaeyeon’s, and then silence followed. Slightly disappointed that she had only gotten the tail end of their conversation, Heehyun started to move to enter the kitchen before she heard Chaeyeon’s voice speak up again, effectively halting the redhead in her steps for the second time that night.

“Unnie, can I tell you something?”

“Go right ahead. You know I’m always all ears for you.”

“I’m honestly glad that she’s with you. I…I actually don’t think I can stomach it if she was dating someone else. Someone I don’t know.”

“Yeah well…you know you left her pretty messed up right?”

Heehyun couldn’t see them from where she was currently hiding, but she could imagine that Chaeyeon must be wearing a surprised look on her face, because that was the expression that she herself was wearing right now. She didn’t expect Dani to be that honest, and suddenly the conversation was leading in a direction that made Heehyun feel slightly uncomfortable. She didn’t want Chaeyeon to know how much of a wreck she was in the weeks following their breakup. Chaeyeon had a career now and she should be focusing on that and not looking back.

“….I heard about it from Som.” Chaeyeon weakly replied with a sigh after a moment of silence. Heehyun wondered what else Somi and her former classmate talk about. Also again, stay outta her business Somi.

“She was crying every day for a week. I’ve never seen her cry ever but then suddenly she was this…mess. She refused to eat and she just holed herself up in her room, skipping school and everything. It was horrible. I still kinda hate you for it.” Dani confessed, and it stunned Heehyun and Chaeyeon. Dani was always the one who would thread carefully when it came to words, never being completely honest with her feelings for fear of hurting somebody else’s feelings. For her to be this honest spoke volumes of the dissatisfaction she must be feeling.

“I deserve that.” Heehyun heard Chaeyeon reply with a shaky voice. Was the younger girl on the verge of tears? Was it bad that Heehyun felt an involuntary ember of anger towards Dani kindle within her as an automatic reaction to Chaeyeon’s sadness?

There were sounds of long, deep breaths being taken and Heehyun assumed that it was Chaeyeon composing herself because the idol continued next. “I was actually scared to come back, because those girls in the living room love her to death. I was scared that all of you would hate me for breaking her heart like that.”

“Sweetie, we don’t hate you. We can never hate you. You know we don’t blame you for chasing your dreams. You should’ve seen us when you had your debut stage! We gathered in front of that TV out there just to cheer you on.”

“That’s what she told me as well.” Chaeyeon replied, and Heehyun thought back to five months ago in the their school’s infirmary when she had confessed to Chaeyeon that it wasn’t possible for her to hate the idol.

“Yeah, because it’s true. I’m your number one supporter! I even accompanied you to Seoul to give you moral support for your audition, remember?” Dani said with one of her signature bright laughs that never failed to light up a room.

The mood in the kitchen seemed to have lifted because Chaeyeon was laughing along with Dani, with no signs of it being for show. Heehyun had no idea if now would be a good time to show herself or if she should just walk away and pretend she never eavesdropped on them talking about her.

Wait, what was that about Dani following Chae to Seoul? Why wasn’t Heehyun aware of this?

“Do you regret turning down the offer unnie?”

Offer? What offer? What were they talking about now? Did Dani get a job offer that Heehyun wasn’t aware of? A university offer maybe? Why did her girlfriend turn it down and why did Chaeyeon who hasn’t been present for a few months now know something about Dani that Heehyun herself doesn’t?

“Nah. Not at all.”

“We could have joined SM Entertainment together you know. I actually think they liked you better than they liked me. Till this day the management is still hoping for you to change your mind.” Chaeyeon said with an insisting tone. A tone that Heehyun could imagine was being accompanied with a pout, and the redhead had to shake her head clear because now she was starting to imagine Chaeyeon’s lips when there was a bigger situation being unveiled right this moment.

“I auditioned with you just because I thought it would be fun. I didn’t expect to pass! I don’t want to be an idol. It’s just not for me y’know? All those fancy clothes and stage-lights.”

Dani had replied with a laugh, but Heehyun had no idea what was so funny about it. Dani…her Dani had auditioned as well? And she passed? Why wasn’t Heehyun aware of this? Why were these two keeping a secret this big from her? Why was it even a secret in the first place? And why…the biggest question was why did Dani turn down the offer? Unfortunately, Heehyun suspected that deep down inside her she knew the answer, but she sincerely wished that she was wrong.

“You stayed for her, didn’t you?” Chaeyeon asked the question that was raging inside of Heehyun. There was a long pause, and Heehyun waited with baited breath as Dani seemed to contemplate her answer. Time didn’t seem to move at all and she swore each second that passed felt like a lifetime.

“What do you think the answer to that question is?” Dani finally answered after several eternities had passed.

Heehyun didn’t wait for Chaeyeon to answer. She ran, but not into the kitchen but away from it. She ran as quietly as she could, carefully sidestepping Yeonjung and Doyeon who seemed to now be cuddling each other in their sleep and she would have made a mental note to give them hell about it later if she wasn’t already panicked like hell. She wanted to get away. She needed to find a container to store the hurricane of feelings inside her because Dani had turned down being an idol for her. At least, that was how it seemed. Her. HER. Freakin’ Cathy Ki the She Demon from Nowhere-ville, Korea. Dani could have debuted with DIA as well but she had turned down the opportunity.

Could it be because Dani knew that if Chaeyeon had passed the audition, the younger girl would be forced to breakup with Heehyun eventually? If that had happened and Dani had gone with Chaeyeon, Heehyun would have been alone. The very idea of someone being that selfless in regards to her was almost preposterous but this was Dani. The same Dani that looked at Heehyun as if she was staring at her entire universe. Heehyun doesn’t deserve her selfless love. She wasn’t a star, she was a burning comet.

Heehyun found her feet leading her towards the balcony so she followed through, grabbing her carton of cigarettes off the dining table on the way out. She pulled the glass sliding door open slowly as to not make a sound, but she was surprised to find another figure already standing there leaning against the concrete edge, staring out into the night.

Im Nayoung turned around to look at who had just joined her on the balcony, and Heehyun felt those stone-cold grey eyes analyse her from top to bottom.

“You look like somebody just told you the miniature horse you've been taking care of and lovingly named "Yang-mal" was in fact, a very big dog all along.”

“That is an oddly specific guess.” Heehyun replied with a small, confused laugh as she plopped down onto the wooden bench in a corner of the balcony.

“That was Jieqiong 2 weeks ago.”

Heehyun nodded in understanding. There wasn’t really much that she knew about the Chinese girl, other than the fact that Nayoung was dating her, she’s absolutely (almost drop-dead) gorgeous, and that it took Heehyun around 2 weeks to learn how to properly pronounce her name. Nayoung had shown an interest in the girl though when she had first transferred into their school around a year ago, and because the idea of Nayoung showing interest in anything was unique in itself, Heehyun and the rest of the girls readily welcomed her into their small circle of friends.

Heehyun leaned back into the bench and casually lit a cigarette, taking a puff from it in an attempt to subdue the flood of anxiety that was at the cusp of showing itself thanks to the conversation she had overheard earlier.

“And there goes my clean air.”

“Your girlfriend smokes nearly as much as I do!” Heehyun fired back, a grin breaking out on her face when she saw the disapproving look on the Head Prefect’s features.

“Oh don't worry, there's no bias going on here. I hate it just as much when she does it too.”

Heehyun needed to make light conversation right now to counter her heavy heart. Besides, she hasn’t had the chance to have a conversation with Nayoung in what felt like ages since the two of them lead such busy lives, with the taller girl being the Head Prefect and Heehyun being the poster child for ‘What you don’t want your daughter to grow up being’.

“How’s things anyways? Is Jieqiong being a good girlfriend to you?”

“She’s being a better one to me than you were.”

There was a slight choking sound as a result of Heehyun nearly swallowing her cigarette in surprise at Nayoung’s retort. She didn’t expect the statue to be bringing that up. “Hey cmon! We were 14 years old! Both of us didn’t know what we were doing!” The redhead was frantically waving her arms in an attempt to justify herself.

“They say young love is such dumb love.” Nayoung sighed wistfully, loving the bug-eyed look Heehyun was shooting at her.

“Was it love for you then?” Nayoung only responded to the redhead’s cheeky reply by flipping her off while Heehyun burst out laughing.

There was a familiar silence now between them and it brought Heehyun back to her time as a confused adolescent, back when she was coming to terms with her uality and discovered through a chance encounter that Nayoung was struggling through the same thing as well. She remembered how she had to hide her relationship with Nayoung from Dani and Chaeyeon because she didn’t want them to find out and freak out but they eventually did, and somehow due to some weird course of nature all of them ended up gay. If Heehyun knew that this would be the outcome, she would have been a lot more open about Nayoung during the year that they dated each other. All that sneaking around was a pain.

They remained close even after they ended things romantically, although it may not seem like it at a glance since Heehyun and Nayoung have such different personalities. The constant arguing and squabbles between them doesn’t help change that perception much either.

“You were my first, you know that?” Heehyun said, not quite specifying what she was the first at, but judging from the glint in Nayoung’s eye the taller girl knew exactly what she was talking about.

“And you were mine.” Nayoung had a faraway look in her eyes before she continued. “Then you moved on to Chaeyeon, and now Dani. Are you planning on dating everyone within our group or something?”

“Well you girls are the only ones who would accept a foul-mouthed, uncultured, raging lesbian like me.”

“…We’re too accepting of people. We accepted a Penguin today.”

“I like the Penguin. But don’t tell anyone else I said that.” Nayoung actually laughed at Heehyun’s statement and the redhead grinned at the taller girl. Talking to Nayoung somehow helped Heehyun clear her mind because she feels a lot better now.

“For someone who doesn’t care about what people think, you really care about what people think.” Nayoung stated pointedly, and to which Heehyun just shrugged.

“I have a rep to take care of. I like it when they stare at me in fear. Like Sohye earlier. Wasn’t that cute?!”

“Is she next after Dani then?” an uncharacteristically teasing grin stretched across Nayoung’s face and Heehyun would have flung an ashtray at that stupid face if the ashtray didn’t belong to her girlfriend’s family.

“Bite your tongue, you snake.”

The sliding door leading to the balcony slid open at that moment and Dani’s head poked out through the curtains, confusion written all over her face as she was greeted with the sight of a laughing Im Nayoung and her girlfriend who looked frozen in the midst of flinging her dad’s ashtray. “What are you two talking about out here?”

“Oh Cathy here was just telling me all about how cute she thinks Sohye is.”

“Were you now? Should I be jealous?” Dani asked with an eyebrow raised, stepping onto the balcony.

“Oops. Time for me to leave. Gotta check on the kids inside the house and make sure they didn’t set your aquarium on fire or something.” Nayoung babbled out whatever excuse she could think of to avoid the aftermath of whatever firestorm she’s just started. She’s never seen Dani angry and tonight was not going to be the first time.

Heehyun chuckled after Nayoung as the tall girl moved faster than Heehyun had ever seen her to escape the balcony. “She’s actually pretty childish herself.” Heehyun shook her head in disbelief at her friend.

Dani made her way over to the bench and took a seat at the empty spot next to the redhead, draping a blanket over the both of them in the process to shield their bodies against the slightly chilly night air, all while not saying a word.

Heehyun observed her girlfriend’s features as the latter stared out over the balcony, lost in a sea of thought. The glow of the moon casted shadows onto Dani’s face, defining the contours and the curves of Dani’s features that just made Heehyun sigh in awe at the beauty before her. She could feel that there was something on her girlfriend’s mind. Heehyun has known Dani long enough to detect certain tells. Heehyun wondered if the conversation she had overheard earlier had anything to do with her girlfriend’s current silence, but she was a bit afraid to ask.

If there was anything that she could wish for at the moment, Heehyun wished that she somehow found a way to pick at her girlfriend’s mind. She wished that she had the courage to hear what was bothering Dani currently because her instincts was telling her that this was one of those ‘Curiosity kills the cat’ moments. Reaching out with one hand to gently Dani’s cheek she managed to get the brunette’s attention and Heehyun took that opportunity to lean forward and gently pressed a tender kiss against Dani’s cheek.

“I love you.” It was whispered, but it was true.

“I love you too. What’s with the sudden reminder? Did you do something bad?” Dani asked with humour evident in her voice, poking fun at Heehyun and the redhead was all for it. She would be the of all the jokes if it would make Dani laugh, and not suffocate the both of them in this heavy silence that creeped in out of nowhere.

“You looked like something’s bothering you. Is everything okay?” Heehyun timidly asked, unsure but Dani just nodded to show that she was fine. Heehyun knows a lie when she sees one.

“I uh…overheard you and Chae in the kitchen earlier. I didn’t mean to! I just wanted to get a drink of water and I kinda eavesdropped.” Heehyun confessed in an attempt to get her girlfriend to open up. She suspected that the conversation in the kitchen earlier was what spurred on this sudden change of mood, and the way Dani looked at her with horrified eyes further confirmed this.

“How much did you hear?!”

“A fair amount. Is it true you passed the idol audition as well? The audition that I never knew you took part in?”

Dani groaned and buried her face in her hands, and Heehyun could vaguely make out her girlfriend muttering something along the lines of “You weren’t supposed to find out.”

“Well you mind telling me the whole story, now that the cat’s out of the bag?” Heehyun gently pressed, wanting to know more about this audition and why she was kept in the dark about it.

“The cat was never supposed to leave the bag! The cat was supposed to stay in the bag for the rest of it’s 9 lives and rot or something for all I care.”

“Dani…that’s pretty psychotic.”

“Yeah? Well….I don’t know. I guess it kinda is. I don’t know why I said that. I love cats. I love you more than cats though…..I’m a mess.”

She’s never seen her girlfriend this lost for words before. Dani was always level-headed. Dani always knew exactly what to say. Dani never seemed this lost before, and Heehyun felt bad for her girlfriend.

“Well that’s no good. Being a mess is my job.” Heehyun gently ran her fingers through Dani’s long brunette locks, her head in an attempt to calm the girl down while Dani’s face was back to being buried in her own hands. Just when Heehyun was thinking that she shouldn’t push the question any further, Dani lifted her head and looked at Heehyun dead in the eyes.

“I didn’t plan on auditioning. Chaeyeon got nervous when we stepped foot into the building and she wanted to back out, so I told her I’d do it with her. I didn’t even prepare anything so I just sang a random Fin.K.L song and danced the way I do when I’m in my room alone.”

Heehyun nodded at the explanation. “And you still passed.”

“And I still passed.” Dani confirmed.

“Did you reject the offer because of me?” It had taken every ounce and fibre of courage within Heehyun to ask that question. It was the question that she needed to know the answer to, but she was afraid to hear it. She didn’t want to be the reason Dani was being held back. There was no excuses for that.

It took a moment for Dani to formulate the right answer, and the redhead braced herself as she figured that Dani was trying to think of a way to break the news to Heehyun as gently as possible. “That, and other reasons. I’m not determined enough to be an idol. It takes a lot of motivation and ambition to be able to function 21 hours a day, 6 days a week. They’re a different breed of humans, and Chae is one of them.”

Heehyun nodded in understanding, not quite believing the gleam in those beautiful brown eyes. She wanted to believe however, because it would help her sleep better at night from now on knowing that she wasn’t the main reason but she knew that Dani was vastly downplaying how much she influenced Dani’s decision to stay behind. She knew, but she chose to ignore it because if she didn’t the guilt would swallow her whole.

“I think you’re pretty remarkable too you know. You’re able to handle being with me 21 hours a day, 7 days a week. That’s pretty impressive in itself.” Heehyun joked, and she swore she saw a ghost of a smile flicker on her girlfriend’s lips for an instance.

“You know, you look at Chaeyeon differently than the way you look at me.”

That statement that just left Dani’s mouth seemed like it came out of nowhere and punched Heehyun in the gut. Did she really? She herself wasn’t aware. Dani’s eyes looked at her as if they were waiting for an answer but Heehyun wasn’t sure what to say. The way Dani seemed to fidget made it seem as if the brunette had been waiting to say that all night, and realization washed over Heehyun as she received a peek as to what had been on her girlfriend’s mind tonight.

“That sounds like a good thing, doesn’t it? I look at you like you’re my girlfriend. Why would I look at Chae the same way as I would my girlfriend?” Heehyun tried her best to convince Dani that her train of thought was stopping at all the wrong stations, but her girlfriend just looked at her with the same blank expression, appearing to not be convinced one bit. A small, tiny but significant part of Heehyun had trouble believing herself as well.

Maybe it was because she needed to prove a point, either to herself or Dani she wasn’t sure but Heehyun leaned forward and captured Dani’s lips in a kiss, trying her best to pour every iota of love that she felt for the girl in front of her into this one kiss and as if on autopilot she felt Dani’s slim arms wrap around her neck to do the same. Dani kissed her with a passion Heehyun has never known before, a passion that she wasn’t worthy of and just like that Heehyun was overpowered, surrendering herself to this tidal wave that threatened to drown her. How could one tiny figure hold this much love within her? How was all this love just for her? Heehyun had no idea. Dani’s soft lips spoke volumes, and Heehyun heard every word that Dani left unspoken.

It was all because of Heehyun. Everything Dani has done, it was all because of Heehyun.

As they separated, Dani left wet patches on her cheeks that made Heehyun quickly glance at her girlfriend’s face, shocked to see tears running down that beautiful, unblemished skin.

“Babe? You okay? What’s wrong?” Heehyun was by Dani’s side in an instant, but her girlfriend merely brushed her off, nonchalantly wiping her tears with the blanket covering them as if every drop of it wasn’t one step closer to drowning Heehyun.

“It’s nothing baby. Don’t worry about it.”

“But…you’re crying. It doesn’t look like nothing to me. Is it my breath? Is it bad?” Heehyun panicked. She knew that she caused this somehow, but she didn’t know what she did. God, why does she never realize these things?

“No, no just drop it sweetie. It’s nothing.” Dani insisted, but Heehyun still pursued.

“But—“

“I said drop it Heehyun.”

Heehyun was taken aback by the sudden venom in Dani’s voice because she’s never heard sweet, sweet Dani ever talk to anyone like that. Dani seemed just as taken aback by her outburst because her gaze softened again in an instant, venom in her words gone and replaced with soft apologies.

“What’s going on out here?” Dani’s outburst must have attracted an audience because the sliding door opened slowly and Somi stepped out onto the balcony, dragging along a groggy Sohye by the wrist. The maknae’s normally bright demeanor wasn’t present when she saw Dani’s tear stricken face. “Unnie? Are you crying?”

“No, Som. It’s all good. Sorry to make a racket out here. Is there anything I can help you with?” Dani tried her best to wipe the remainder of her tears away, but the waver in her voice couldn’t be removed as easily. Somi narrowed her eyes at Heehyun in suspicion.

“Chaeyeon was looking for you two. She says she has to go home now, so we’re sending her off. Are you sure everything is okay?” Somi asked. Dani looked as if she was tired of insisting that everything was okay, but before she could repeat the same words that she’s repeated several times tonight the maknae had stepped up and is now glaring daggers at Heehyun.

“Did you hurt her?”

An actual shiver ran down Heehyun’s spine at the chill in Somi’s voice. There was no sign of the usual respect that Somi often showed her elders, in it’s place was a potential threat laced in a question aimed at the redhead. Things seem to have escalated from 0 to 101 in the last couple of minutes and Heehyun could only stare dumbstruck at the sudden turn of events. Somi was angry at her, but Heehyun couldn’t say for sure if she was entirely undeserving of the hostility or not. Heehyun wasn’t sure of anything right now really.

As if noticing the hostile situation, Dani stepped in and swiftly made her way over to the maknae to affectionately pat her head, causing an immediate change in Somi’s demeanor. The gentle kiss of reassurance to her forehead that followed brought colour to Somi’s cheeks, and Heehyun knows she’s seen the way Somi looks at Dani before. It was the way Dani used to look at Heehyun before they got together. Heehyun wondered how long have those eyes been looking at her girlfriend with that much longing, and how she's never realised it until this moment. 

“Everything is fine Som. Don’t worry your pretty head about it.” Dani reassured one last time, before affectionately petting a groggy Sohye on the head as well and lightly pinching the Penguin’s cheek, earning a small whimper from the sleepy girl.

“C’mon Hyun. Let’s go see Chae off.” And with that, Dani started to walk away, leaving Heehyun there on the bench, wrapped in a blanket and a shroud made of questions.

“I love you, you know that right?” Heehyun called out after Dani’s retreating form, causing her girlfriend to pause momentarily and offer her a warm smile over her shoulder. A warm smile that never quite reached her eyes.

“I love you more.”

Dani disappeared behind the sliding door’s curtains, followed by Somi and Sohye. Heehyun was alone on the balcony and she let out a breath she had no idea she had been holding back all this while, a stream of profanities escaping along with it. Head still spinning from the confusing turn of events, Heehyun pushed herself off the chair and headed back into the house to see her childhood friend/ex-girlfriend/root of all her problems off while only one thought remained in her head:

“What the just happened?”

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YOOOOO! That was a pretty long chapter huh? Sorry. Hope it made up for the long gap in between updates. I have a good reason for the late update though! About 2 weeks ago I started having migraines so the doctor prevented me from looking at my computer for 5 days, which prevented me from writing. A few days after that I had to fly to Tokyo for a business meeting of sorts, so yeah. Was kinda tough to write when you're out and about like 12 hours a day in a foreign country. Was all good though. Managed to get the chance to meet OhMyGirl's Hyojung somehow. Funny how life works.

I really hope all of you enjoy this chapter! It's super long, but I feel proud of it somehow. It feels like a solid chapter, although I can understand if you get bored of it halfway. There's barely anything going on. :/  Oh and I kinda had fun with Sohye again hahaha! I thought that situation would be an ideal icebreaker for her. As for why I made Nayoung Heehyun's ex, I realise I needed a third party for later on in the fic. Someone that is close to Heehyun but not directly related to Chaeyeon and Dani. Also, I think there's quite a few Kim Nayoung/Heehyun ships out there, so instead of Kim you get Im Nayoung in this fic. Hahahaha best I can do! And no, don't worry. Im Nayoung won't make this love traingle into a love square or something. I just needed a different dynamic to approach the fic with so I'm gonna use Stone Buddha. Nayoung is with Jieqiong. Not breaking those two up.

And OMG so many new upvotes! Thank you thank you thank you thank you! Huge shoutout to wanderplust, asharii, Elflover1, xxxxioixxxx, Evilauthor, jaemiz, FathAnnaA, NoJamDubu and charlierei for the upvotes! Thank you for this support it really means a lot to me! 

Also thank you for the comments! I try my best to reply each and every single one and your feedback really matters to me! Keep the comments coming! Thank you so much for reading! :) Will get the next update up as soon as I can!

P/S: This chapter was 8000 words. WHUT