He was holding a package of pads and HOLY IT’S PADS. I quickly nodded my head, noticing all of their gazes awkwardly looking at me, and quickly snatched the package and I literally jumped forwards to slam the door to my room. But I of course didn’t forget to scream:

“Gamsahabnida!” - With an as-good-as-I-could-muster-happy sentence of gratitude. How could I forget it there?! Just standing there in the middle of a BOY’S DORMITORY? Lovisa, you ed up well. There goes the first impression - you have officially humiliated yourself for the rest of your life, in front of a professional Korean BOY band. Wonder what they are thinking? “Ew, she’s on his period.” “Seriously, omg girl germs!” “What if there were blood on them?!” “I am moving out if she is a with her pms.” . I couldn’t help but cuss at myself for being such a clumsy idiot. And, , don’t you dare cry, you never cry and you shouldn’t do it now either. I never wanted to leave that room. I didn’t really have to do it actually, except for when I am going to eat, because I had all my clothes and a bathroom here. It was chill, but starving myself wasn’t a good idea, I knew that.

The next worst part was that EVERYONE saw that neon pink color of the packaging. Hell, why did they make such flashy colors? It’s your entire fault! I was pointing at the silent packaging of pads, accusing it, even though I knew that that wouldn’t solve my awkward problem. I tried being optimistic. Maybe they didn’t think anything disgusting of me? I mean, if you don’t get your period in your teenage, then you actually have a problem with your body (no kidding, you have a problem if you never get your period) and besides that, all women on the earth has that. We hate it and we can’t choose between having periods, or not. It started to get real here - my thoughts was too much so I just tried ignoring them.

I should go out and start to know the handsome boys, but I can’t. Not after this kind of incident. It was all too embarrassing to bear… Did I say that I was positive and optimistic earlier? Well, you know, we all have mood swings… I really didn’t want to see th-

“Jessica, we have ramyun, please come and eat with us!” And there was the cheerful and chirp voice that earlier gave me the packaging of neon Satan-pads. “I’m coming.” I answered through the door. I took Satan to my bathroom and stuffed it deep in a cabinet and glared at it one last time before closing the drawer and leaving my room. Everyone was already sitting, eating their ramyun together. When one spotted me, everyone turned around and spotted me standing frozen in my spot.

“Come on, don’t be shy, we won’t bite!” Jimin said, giving me a kind smile. I smiled back a little bit awkward trying to walk forward. I heard Yoongi mumbling something about sounding creepy and Jimin whined. With each step I took, I just wanted to run back into my room even more and when I finally arrived at their table I cautiously looked around if there was anything more that was embarrassing that I’ve might have forgotten when I packed up. I walked slowly to my spot where I sat, between Jungkook and Hoseok. I slowly sat down too, as if looking for dangerous things, I was terrified and really awkward, I know. I sat down by the eating men who ate quite awkwardly actually, feels good to feel the same.

I grabbed my chopsticks carefully and I felt everyone gaze at me through the corners of their eyes. I felt really uncomfortable. It actually felt like I was intruding their space, already. I don’t know why, since they hadn’t given me such gestures and hints yet, but still, you can’t blame me could you?

I dipped them in the bowl of still hot ramyun and started eating. Somehow, eating lightened up the mood. It was if when I put the first bite in my mouth, everyone started to like move and talk with each other, like any other Friday.

“So, Jessica where is your home country, or town?” I looked up at Namjoon who was asking me this question in English actually. I was pretty grateful for that since I am not a professional in Korean.

“My home country is Sweden and the town is Luleå” I smiled back. Wow, can’t stop with these smiles can you?

“Ohhh, I’ve always wanted to go there, it seems exotic.” Taehyung suddenly blurted out. “Tae, seriously, everything that isn’t Korean are exotic, you know that right?” Taehyung’s mouth just formed an ‘o’ shape. Everyone started giggling. I put my arms on the table for more support and accidentally brushed against Jungkook’s pale and OH MY GOD so smooooooth~ arm. “Ah, joesonghabnida.” I quickly apologized and I noticed his pale cheeks turn red. He looked really cute like that, so I also blushed. Not that I wanted to.

“Oh lala~” Jimin said somewhere across the table and the eye contact that me and Jungkook shared was quickly broken for him to look up and scold his hyung from being inconsiderate. I just dove in and shoved the rest of my noodles in my mouth in one go. I was chewing and munching like a pig, but if it distracted me from the embarrassment I’ll do it.

“You look like a hamster.” Yoongi pointed out with a grin. He pointed at my cheeks and they burned crimson. Well controlling hormones, then. Everyone giggled and laughed and I did too, trying not to spit out my noodles. Oh my hell, what if? Nope, I don’t want to know. “Yay, another animal in the family!” Hoseok shouted. “We have a bunny and a horse, guess who the horse is?” Hoseok was grinning and showing his pearly white teeth, sitting close to me. I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I just swallowed my noodles and said. “Hoseok.” He laughed together with everyone high fived me. They were friendlier than I thought too.

“And the bunny is our little maknae right here.” Seokjin said, pointing to the once again blushing Jungkook sitting beside me. He sat really cute too - he sat like a little kid, so kyeopta!

“Wait, what’s your age?” Jimin suddenly asked. “Uhm, I got sixteen really recently.” I said, with no hesitation. I said it, I am open to people, trust me.

“Oh, you are as young as our Jungkookie!” And that comment made the said boy flush slightly. He looked painted with makeup. Jimin squealed and clapped his hands.

“Oh, well. Happy late birthday, Jessica.” Seokjin said and they sang me the birthday song in Korean oh my God, you should know how flattered I was there. I swayed to the side to the beat and clapped my hands together with them. As expected, the rappers sang like a bass and the vocalists sang like, well, vocalists.

“S-Sorry for earlier…” WHY DID HE HAVE TO BRING THAT UP DURING OUR DINNER? Was the only question ringing through my head, NOT the best timing. “I-It’s okay…” I mumbled. I hung my head low. I felt weirdly depressed that he actually brought that up. I didn’t want him to get disgusted by me or something. Everyone fell silent. I believe everyone thought that Hoseok’s thought of timing was terrible.

A couple minutes of awkward silence was cut by Jimin cheering that Karaoke night was on tonight. It sounded fun but then I realized that my vocals were as low as an average man. Oh hell no.

And suddenly, when I’ve put away my bowl of noodles, I felt the need to go to the bathroom. I excused myself and they said they fixed the karaoke while I was away.

I slightly sprinted to my bathroom and quickly shut both doors. I sat down and wow, good timing because my period is here! How appropriate. I know it is about time to get used to this, having periods while living with teenage boys. I also changed to something more comfortable. I wore a really big sweater that covered my shorts - I didn’t like that so I tucked the big t-shirt into my shorts. I am a tomboy like that, yes.

I did my business and left the bathroom, making sure it was all clear, even though it should because THIS IS