Today Jeonghan wakes up a bit too early when a rock track blared from his cellular phone. He wasn’t a morning person but today, he needed to wake up and open the shop. Usually his mother would be the one to manage the shop but she had a batch reunion to attend to in Jeju.

After he’s cooked up breakfast, washed his face and changed his clothes, he prepared the flowers and rid of the ones that wilted. He didn’t study flowers formally just like his mother did, but he bears just as enough knowledge, love, and care for each and every flower they have in the shop. And he’s always glad to know that he changed lives and relationships through the flowers they have. And he wonders if today he could change another life, but today is different.

Someone else is about to change his life.

The first customer for the day went in at nine in the morning, doe-like eyes and a cat-like smile on his face. He wasn’t too tall and looked a couple months younger than Jeonghan. And since the first ring of the bell, everything in Jeonghan’s line of sight was in slow motion. It took him about five seconds of letting the customer look around before he gave a greeting.

“Good morning, sir. I’m how, Jeonghan will help you today? I mean- I’m Jeonghan and how may I today help you? I mean-” the customer could only chuckle at the blunder, failing to recognize the blush on the other’s cheeks and ears.

“Good morning, Jeonghan. I’m Jisoo and I’m looking for something to give my mother. Not roses though, she doesn’t like those.” Jisoo was now looking through the rows of tulips and lilacs on the side, and all Jeonghan could think of was the name ringing on his mind and how smooth Jisoo’s voice sounded when he said their names. It took Jeonghan a mental punch to himself when he got back to reality and helped the boy look for the perfect flower.

--

“I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure your mother would be so proud to have a son as nice as you are.” Jeonghan said behind the counter as he carefully arranged the white, red, and pink carnations while Jisoo took a seat and marveled at the other flowers around them, replying with his mellow and soft tone. “It’s okay, you’re too nice for someone I just met. I’m sure your mom would be proud of you too.” And for his 20 years of existence, this has been one of the few moments when he has felt his chest clench and still be so happy about it.

The silence was soon broken by shifting noises and a soft “I have to go now, I’ll see you again some other time, okay?”. Jeonghan could only nod as he sees Jisoo’s back leave the door before he heaves a sigh on his seat. His chest clenches still and his stomach feels like it’s doing backflips but despite the weird feeling, he liked it. It was something so foreign to him and he didn’t expect to experience something before it came along to him today.

The problem is, he didn’t know what ‘it’ is.

--

After three visits from Jisoo, Jeonghan declared out of the blue to give his mother a day off from the flower shop every Thursday, seeing as he didn’t have anything to do for the rest of the year. And also because he knows that every Thursday, Hong Jisoo would pay him a visit and purchase a bouquet or two from Jeonghan.

“I should have a television segment with you, Thursdays with Hong Jisoo,” he once joked and he swears that he could hear the angels since everytime the younger opens his mouth to speak. Every Thursday for the next two months comprised of Jisoo visiting the shop and stopping by to chat, and the clenching of Jeonghan’s chest worsens with each passing day, mind filled with Jisoo, Jisoo, Jisoo, and only Jisoo.

--

“Jeonghan hyung, are you perhaps experiencing your first love?” Chan, his next-door neighbor, blurted out one time when they were having lunch out and all Jeonghan could do was choke on his milkshake and fries before giving the younger a look of disbelief.

“Come on Chan don’t be silly. I’m too busy and too unmotivated for stuff like that.” He casually replies while he feel his heart start to race. The image of the boy who frequents the flower shop enters his mind and suddenly his chest constricts. The younger looks at him with concern as Jeonghan has another coughing fit, covering his mouth with his hand.

“I guess we should head home, hyung. Let’s call it a day. The flu is a thing these days so you better be careful.” Jeonghan couldn’t help but agree. He started to look pale and kept his fingers curled up on his side as he stood up and walked.

It wasn’t until when Chan bid him goodbye that he finally got to open up the palm he’s scrunched up for so long and looked at the contents in dread. Wide pink-colored petals were all over his palm, probably feeling a bit gross to the touch due to the slight hint of milkshake on them.

The Rose of Sharon. South Korea’s national flower. ‘I am consumed by love.’

I’m screwed, Jeonghan thought to himself.

--

With Jisoo’s frequent visits on the flower shop, it didn’t take long for Jeonghan to have more coughing fits and more piles of the huge petals on the corners of both the flower shop and his room. All the thursdays have been going well for both of them, Jisoo casually keeping a conversation and Jeonghan managing to restrain from coughing.

However, one eventful saturday, when Jisoo decides to pay a surprise visit, Jeonghan was caught off-guard and he feels his chest tighten. His lungs were slowly getting filled and he knows he has to either suffocate or reveal his secret. Soon after, the wide pink petals were scattered on the floor as he clutches on his chest. In panic, Jisoo calls for help, and luckily Jeonghan’s mother and sister both rushed to the rescue, carrying Jeonghan to his room and thanking Jisoo for the alert.

The rest of the day has been a blur and despite all the evidence before him, Hong Jisoo still doesn’t have a clue about how Jeonghan feels towards him.

--

The coming months were a game of Russian Roulette for both of them. Sometimes, when Jisoo visits on a thursday, he finds Jeonghan there, still being his casual self, although coughing here and there. Other thursdays he finds himself facing a female behind the cash register as she lists out different excuses each time on why her older brother wasn’t there to take care of the shop.

At that very moment when Jisoo was dealing with the sudden emptiness of spending yet another thursday without Jeonghan, the latter was laid in bed consumed by the petals and his own thoughts. He was close to admitting to Jisoo about his feelings, in hopes that the petals would stop coming out his mouth, but he’s also afraid that along with it, their friendship would be gone as well.

The only option was a surgery, even his mom told him about it, but is it really worth the risk? Deep inside Jeonghan knows that he will be healed of this somehow, if only he could find a way to let Jisoo realize that Jeonghan could be deserving of the same kind of love too.

But what if your friend doesn’t have a thing for guys, Jeonghan?

The voice in his conscience was small, but it was clear enough for him to hear. He curls up in bed again as the aches and suffocation start to well up, bracing himself for another wave of coughs as he thinks about Jisoo.

--

On another home, Jisoo couldn’t push off the nagging feeling at the back of his head that something was wrong with his new found friend. It’s been months since he’s spent time with Jeonghan and he knows that it’s not like him to start avoiding him like this all of a sudden. Jeonghan was the type to be honest and would hate to leave someone else hanging.

Unless if Jisoo did something really wrong to get Jeonghan to have his anger at a point where he doesn’t want to see his face.

And then it hits him. The image of the petals flash on his mind and he just realized that those came from Jeonghan’s throat and lungs. Growing up in America, he was used to seeing weird stuff all over him but this kind of condition was a first for him. He didn’t hesitate to look up the symptoms and Jisoo suddenly felt his world slow down.

Jeonghan is suffering a serious case of unrequited love.

--

The next day was a Sunday and both Jeonghan’s mom and sister had emergency schedules to attend to. Jeonghan was sure that Jisoo would be off to church and whatever he would do to occupy his entire Sunday so he volunteered to take care of the shop without hesitation.

“Chan why are you here so early? I haven-”

The bell rings, an indication that someone has entered the shop, and Jeonghan turns to the figure gleefully only to come at a stop mid-sentence. Jeonghan’s heart starts to race and he feels his chest filling up again. The petals come out cough after cough, filling his palm and scattering on the floor. Jisoo rushes to his side and aids the older in sitting down comfortably.

“Who did this to you?” He manages to ask in a hushed whisper and if only he knew how his soothing voice was enough to send the butterflies wild inside Jeonghan’s stomach, then he would understand why the flowers continue to grow more and more each day. He didn’t get a reply, only faint sniffles and he notices that the long-haired man’s cheeks are now tear-stained, eyes b and overflowing with not just tears but also the emotions he’s been trying to hide.

“It’s you, Jisoo. You… I’m in love with you.”

Jeonghan’s voice was shaky, gruff, and laced with each and every drop of emotion and sincerity. Then everything was moving too fast. Jeonghan had one last inhale before closing his eyes, lifelessly reclining on the chair he was seated on. Jisoo immediately called for an ambulance and the rest of the ride was a blur to him.

He felt responsible for everything, and so, he agreed to an operation before finding a way to contact Jeonghan’s mother and sister. He isn’t so sure of what to do or what to expect at the moment, but he’s hoping for the best.

At the very least, he’s hoping to help save the person he didn’t intend to kill.

He glances at the petals that were stuck on his shirt; wide, pink,vibrant. Probably the flowers would have depicted how Jeonghan’s love for him was. A lump forms on his throat and he brushes the petals away, using every bit of force in him not to cry.

--

“Mr. Yoon Jeonghan’s cousin? Hong Jisoo, yes?”

Hours have passed and Jisoo woke up after an uncomfortable nap on the waiting area outside the operating room. His name was called out by a guy donned in a white coat and blue face mask.

“That’s me.”

“The operation was a success. One of the most serious cases of Hanahaki we’ve had. But he’ll be awake anytime soon. You’re free to visit him now.”

Jisoo thanked the doctor before rushing towards the room, eyes landing on Jeonghan’s unconscious figure laid on the bed. There were several petals on the floor and on the sheets, some faded pink while some were still colored brightly.

At that moment, however, nothing was more beautiful than the sight of Jeonghan in a deep and peaceful slumber. The moment was so serene that Jisoo couldn’t help but reach out and trace the outline of the male’s cheek with his fingertips.

He wonders why he could not ever manage to love Jeonghan back and save him from the suffering he doesn’t deserve.

A few seconds later, Jeonghan’s fingers started to move and his eyes started to open. He first sees Jisoo and expects his heart to race, for the butterflies to go wild once again, but all he feels is blank. He realizes the setting after a few blinks and a clearer eyesight, only to be blurred again by the tears threatening to fall.

“Jisoo. Please don’t tell me you didn’t... “

He couldn’t look at Jeonghan while saying the truth.

“Hong Jisoo did I just get a surgery for my disease?”

His voice was raised a volume higher and within a few seconds, Jeonghan sits up and delivers light punches on Jisoo’s chest while he cries, no, wails like a child deprived of his favorite toy. He was crying, cursing at his friend as the punches grew weaker. Jisoo could only do nothing but pull Jeonghan close to his embrace, letting him cry on his chest.

“How could you, Jisoo? I love you. I want to keep loving you so much but now I have an empty void in my chest, do you know how bad that feels?!”

Each word, each tone, each tear delivers a stab on Jisoo’s heart, and he only passes off all of this as guilt, remorse for having someone fall for him without him returning the feelings. And he couldn’t do anything but take all the blows that Jeonghan gives to him.

One punch on his chest hit him harder than he should and Jisoo lets out an involuntary cough. Thin white petals start to fall on top of Jeonghan’s head. The latter doesn’t know, and Jisoo could only stare in silence.

These are… daisies.

He looks back at all the times he and Jeonghan have shared, up until this very day, and slowly, like droplets of water filling up a dam, it has finally hit him. All that he tried to protect, all that he tried to push away, all that he tried to rationalize, all were nothing but love towards the first friend he’s made during his first few steps in Seoul.

He failed to realize that he loves Yoon Jeonghan.

And the daisies will be his divine retribution.