(Jinyoung’s Pov)

 

It was a bright windy day. The few clouds wandering in the blue sky were so beautiful and soothing I kept staring at them. I was laying beside the window peacefully sunbathing. It’s one of those days I thought to myself satisfied. After having a concert for three days straight we were finally able to relax and regain some energy.

 

I was about to pick a book on a shelf when I heard a knock at the door.

 

« Jinyoung hyung, have you seen Jaebum hyung ? He’s not here and he isn’t answering his phone. » A worried Youngjae appeared behind the door. He his hair as he let out a deep sigh.

 

« Yes he told me he was going to an appointment with manager hyung, no need to feel worried. He even asked me to specially tell you « just in case ». He must know you too well. » I answered with a grin.

 

Youngjae seemed to appreciate his friend’s thoughtfulness as he grinned back relieved.

 

« He should be back any minute then, right ? » He said suddenly excited.

 

I silently nodded while he closed the door.

 

Jackson would always joke about Youngjae’s cheerful bahaviour. He says that only food, good music, Coco and JB could make him excited like a child asking for candy.

 

The door wasn’t even fully closed when I heard another knock.

 

« Do you want to build a snowman ? »

 

I smiled, fully aware of the person’s identity whose shadow kept dancing behind the door.

 

« Come in Jackson-ah. »

 

He came in, jumping.

 

 I sat properly to let him sit beside me.

 

« What are you reading ? »

 

« Poems. Do you want me to read you one? »

 

Just asking about it seemed to bore him to death but still he smiled and nodded.

 

« Listen up. It’s called ‘The salted mackerel’ written by Park Hoo-ki.  »

 

« Oh I know him ! Doesn’t he write fantasy books too ? » He jumped happily pointing at the book.

 

« No he did not. »

 

« Oh okay. » He sat back disappointed.

 

I couldn’t help but read the poem while smiling.

 

« Here I go.

 

The night a poor father sleeps, embracing a pitiful son,
the night a child sleeps, dreaming of a dry blanket and a hot dish,
the night the big sorrow sleeps, embracing the small sorrow,
the night at the subway station the sleet rubs salt in the wound,
turning over the leaves of newspapers. »

 

Jackson paid close attention through the entire reading even though he frowned a couple times and asked for the signification of a few words.

 

« So how was it ? »

 

« It’s good I like it but I have another question. »

 

« Yes ? »

 

« How can you be smiling while reading such a depressing poem ? And how come all your books are like that ? You should read funnier things. Are you fifty ? » 

 

« How is that depressing ? » I answered dumbfounded.

 

« So is it happy or funny ? »

 

« No, it’s not. He is a 20th century poet.  The times must have been hard back then. He depicts such a vivid winter night through coldness, poverty and hunger. Just a few verses and yet it’s very beautiful. »

 

The more I thought about it and the more I got fascinated by the poem.

 

« I don’t get you. How can you see beauty in those terrible things ? »

 

« Yah. I’m not reading you any more poems. »

 

I pushed him away lightly.

 

« Be honest. You’re reading those poems for yourself. You are so eager to share what you love you don’t care who it is you’re reading to. You can read them to anybody here so I’m not that special anyways. »

 

I laughed so much I leaned my head on the wall behind me.

 

« Wang Jackson you are indeed very special. How can you make me into such a careless and selfish person in no time. »

 

He smiled as he played with the corner of his shirt, a bit sulky.

 

I took his hand and looked seriously at him in the eyes.

 

« Tell me honestly, have you seen me sharing my poems with someone else ? »

 

« It’s because they won’t listen to you. » He broke into a playful laugh. I patted his chest offended even though it was funny and moslty true.

 

« Yes. But see, you listen to me the best. I can talk honestly to you and share whatever I want. You always welcome me. I always go to you when I feel stuffed or even excited to share something. I know you’ll bring my mood up no matter what. »

 

Jackson was listening, very concentrated and somehow moved.

 

« Okay, okay it’s true. » Jackson finally smiled satisfied.

 

« Of course it is. How can you not know you are special and important to me ? »

 

« More than your sad books, ahjussi ? »

 

« Well… » I with a smile.

 

« Yah I’m more important than them. I am a human being with feelings, how can you hesitate for even a second ? » He yelled pointing at his own heart.

 

I laughed even more every time. We always seemed to talk nonsense and end up fighting no matter what.

 

I patted his head to calm him down and brought him closer for a hug. He let himself into my arms, suddenly calm.

 

« Oh you’re busy I see. » Someone said at the door.

 

We didn’t need to look at the door to recognize Mark’s voice.

 

Before I could say anything he had already turned his back on us and left the room.

 

« Yah Mark hyung, come in. »

 

I was about to stand up when Jackson tightened his grip around my shoulders.

 

« It’s okay stay. »

 

« But… »

 

« But what ? You are afraid your boyfriend will get jealous ? Let him be for once. »

 

« Yah Jackson-ah. »

 

« Choose me for once, would you ? Just today. I missed you. Yeah, he might get angry but you know how easily he’ll forgive you. » He said quietly, he sounded more like a whisper.  

 

« Don’t be ridiculous. He isn’t my boyfriend, okay ? »

 

 « Hmm…If you say so. Should we kiss in front of him to prove you wrong then ? » He giggled apparently very satisfied of himself.

 

« What are you talking… »

 

I could feel my whole face turning bright red as my voice was cracking up.

 

How come every time other members – especially Jackson - came to talk about Mark my chest would feel so tight ? Why did he leave so suddenly ? He would always let us be everytime we were playing around with Jackson but I would always feel guilty and uncomfortable somehow.

 

« Whatever Jackson. »

 

« Come on. Don’t be angry. I’m not trying to make my Jinyoung-ah upset. I’m not going to steal you away from Mark. Tell him to be at ease. » He teased me even more.

 

He kept patting his head on my chest to act cute it was hard for me to get angry at him.

 

The mention of Mark’s name again and again made my heart pound so hard. I liked to hear about him : how he gets jealous easily and sulks for hours, how he dazes every two seconds even on camera, the way he laughs, how much he loved food and Coco. But I think I love his overflowing cuteness over all.

 

Although Jackson wasn’t totally right he wasn’t totally wrong either. I always enjoyed Mark’s warmth but I was always avoiding to face it seriously. What I meant for him and what he really meant for me too.

 

« Pabo-ya. »

 

I Jackson’s hair lovingly.

 

Jackson-ah thank you for taking me all the ways to my heart. 

 

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TO BE CONTINUED...

First, I must apologize to Markjin shippers T^T for writing an entire Jinson chapter. But i swear it's only to make Markjin stronger in the future hihi(and cuz I love Jinson oc) ^^

I added some 2jae for fun cuz I really came to like them these days. It's such a pure shy love they're precious! 

tell me if you like it! :) doing the best I can to finish it before school so stay stuned for more Markjin fluff xoxo