Chapter 1: Why is Love so complicated...

I stood in front of the president's desk and silently watch the large clock hanging on his office wall. I gulped down a huge amount of saliva as I could no longer contain the tension building in the pit of my stomach. My breath was caught on my throat as I stared at the president who has his eyes anywhere else but on me. He was giving me the silent treatment and it's the worse kind of scolding, if I might add. 

I anticipated this much when I received a call from Seungri telling me to come by the president's office this morning. Apparently he just came back from his daily dose of scolding when he called me this morning. I hissed a sigh as I no longer couldn't take the raving tension in the air. I'm afraid that I might wet my pants if this goes on any longer. I need to break the ice. I need to come up with some witty comment to break the silence.

With my mouth shut into a thin line, I tried to racked my brain for something smart to say. The last thing I need is another good amount of humiliation from my part. I was about to look at the president again when I suddenly caught his angry eyes plastered on me. Shoot. I'm dead meat. Well, might as well die with dignity.

"I didn't do anything wrong.." The forbidden sentence came as fast I dreaded to. I thought about it, but it was certainly a phrase I've never dreamt of ever saying in front of the president. Although Seungri as the rascal he is, often uses this but never did it worked. He just got an amount of punishment back for it. I should've have kept my mouth shut.

The moment his intimidating dark eyes flew towards me was the moment I knew I was dead. I'm about to meet hell and I wasn't prepared for it. The president groaned. His eyes never my silhouette. I gulped in fear. I knew I wanted his attention before, but gaining it wasn't what I was expecting. I regret saying those words. I can't bear those scrutinizing eyes glaring at me. Eyes that will probably haunt me and murder me in my dreams.

I closed my eyes as I prepare myself for his grim words to cut me into tiny pieces. God help me. I was waiting for it to come but they never came. What happened? Is this a new trick? Silent murdering? Am I in heaven?

"You're stupid." He said in a low voice. My eyes jerks open as I heard his calm voice.

Opening my eyes, I was greated by his rather calm face. I frowned. "What did you say, sir?" I asked with my raspy voice. 

He groaned. "You idiot. I thought we already talked about this a million times? Haven't I told you to be careful when you're meeting up with Kiko?".

Ah. So this is what it was all about. Kiko. I nodded my head in response. "I have been careful. I haven't seen her for weeks and if we ever meet up, we make sure to make it as discreetly as possible." I said. Trying to defend my part.

"Then what is this?" He said as he move his computer screen towards me, showing me the article entitled "A late-night date at the park". There was a picture of me and Kiko holding hands while strolling in Asukayama Park in Tokyo. After reading the article, I could immediately feel my blood boiling. I couldn't help but to bawl in annoyance. How the hell could they take that picture of ours? It was 3 am for god's sake.

"I don't know how that happened. It was 3 am." I stumbled on my words as anger slowly eating me up. I cursed under my breath, completely forgetting about the president sitting in front of me. I should've known! I should've been more careful! Now! I have another scandal added to my long-list. And not only that, I just put Kiko in another difficult position.

"Jiyong! Calm down." The president exclaimed as I felt his hand on my shoulder. I didn't even noticed him leaving his desk and walking towards me because of my temper rising up. He patted my back and smiled. I've known him for 15 years but I've only saw this side of his once and I'm still not use to it. The president is a cold-man when it comes to complementing his artists but whenever we seem lost and in our darkest hour, he never think twice providing comfort as a father.

"Thank you." I said.

My nerves were slowly calming down and I could feel my temper cooling down as well. I gasped for a mouthful of air before throwing a final glance at the article. This is absurd. Why can't they let me be for once? In all honestly as much as I hate my private life being invaded, I don't think I would ever want to change anything about my life right now. I would be devastated if I wasn't working with something I love, which is music. If I didn't became G-Dragon then I'm sure as hell that I will still be working with music either way. 

"I know you're angry and you're in love. And I should be easy on you. But we've been through this a million times already. You should never let your guard down. You know how much hit this kind of scandal can bring to your career and Kiko's. The minute you let your walls down is the moment they will destroy you and all of the people you love. Being a public-figure is never an easy task. You can't expect it to be rainbows and unicorns everyday." He said with such affection in his eyes.

I sigh. By the looks of it, I'm defeated once again. Despite my pride going over my head, I couldn't help but to agree with him. He is right after all. I'm not just putting my career in jeopardy but Kiko's as well. I know that as the man in the relationship, I should be the one taking care of her. I need to protect her from any harm but it seem like it was a handful task to do with my this clouded brain of mine. In the end I was the bigger jerk because I let myself indulge the freedom of being able to be with someone.

"I understand." I whispered lowly.

The president nodded reluctantly as he know that this is not the end of it. I couldn't blame him for having second thoughts because, I myself are having doubts whether I could promise that another scandal will not be rising after this one anytime soon.

"I'm not scolding you. I'm worried about you. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror? You look awful Jiyong." He exclaimed. I'm not sure whether he was consoling me or mocking me. Huh. Long sessions in the studio, traveling almost every other day around the globe, who wouldn't look like a homeless person?

"I know. I will do better.." Tsk. That's most unlikely to happen but, I guess I'll just have to try my best.

"Okay. You're dismissed." He said and I nodded my head in response.

"Take it easy Ji. You need to take a breather once in a while. I know that you have a lot on your mind lately." He gave me one last advice before I could close the door behind me.

I smiled and gave him a nod. "Yes, I will. Thank you.".

As I stepped out of his office, I could feel my lungs working again. I haven't noticed it before but I was holding my breath the whole time I was in there. Not literally of course. But I was somehow on the run for something every time the president would open his mouth. Sigh. I need to calm myself. I need to go to the studio and lock myself in there until I can start thinking normally again.

I took the elevator down to the studio since the President's office was at the top floor while the studio was 3 floors down. While inside the elevator, my head started drifting away from reality again. I thought about the president's words and I just can't seem to disagree because he was right. I have been overworking myself. I have been thinking a lot lately and it seem like I haven't been myself these past few weeks either. He's right. My mind has been quite preoccupied but it's not entirely about work. It has something to do with love but it's certainly doesn't have a thing or two to do with Kiko. It's something far more complicated than my current scandal. It's..

Ding...

My head suddenly snapped back to reality when I heard the elevator doors open. I gulped. I could feel my stomach churn in anxious. Behind the doors stood a familiar figure. Dara. The person who has been invading my mind lately. No. That's a lie. She's been in my head for years. 11 years. The subject of my long-train of thoughts and journeys away from reality. Sandara Park.

"Jiyong!" She chirped in excitement. She flashes me a familiar smile and it promptly made my heart flutter. Dara enters the elevator and her familiar scent immediately breaches my safe-space. My throat went up and down as I gulped another mouthful of saliva. It's amazing how her mere scent can be this intoxicating. Sigh. I'm being all creepy again. What are you doing to me, Dara?

Dara and her pair of innocent brown orbs are staring at me, as if trying to read my mind. Oh. If only you knew what this head of mind contains.. then you would hate me forever. 

I stared back, it was nearly impossible not to because her eyes were luring me in. She blinked, then gave me yet another breathtaking smile and launches herself on me. I held my breath as I felt petite arms around me. My ey