***

Today is a special day.

Today is the day that Seungcheol will propose to the love of his life.

Here, inside a very well-known restaurant filled with rose petals scattered beautifully on the floor and a table for two in the middle with a violinist playing a romantic tune on their background.

It has been four years since they officially became a couple and Seungcheol has decided that it’s about time to take their relationship to the next level. To settle down for good.

The two of them are eating when out of the blue, Seungcheol rises from his seat, offering a hand to the younger, asking him to dance.

The younger takes Seungcheol’s hand and leads him to the middle of the room. The older holds on his waist and pulls him closer causing the younger to blush.

Seungcheol whispering compliments and sweet nothings as the younger rests his face against Seungcheol’s shoulder. Seungcheol suddenly stops. The younger stares at him.

The younger visibly tenses upon seeing Seungcheol kneel in front of him.

Seungcheol grins, noticing the shocked expression on the younger’s face.

He pulls a velvet box in his pocket causing the younger to gasp.

 

*

Jihoon stares at the older incredulously, he can’t help but gape. The older is kneeling in front of him with a velvet box in his hand.

“We’ve been together for four years and I know I’ve been so bad to you. I did a lot of ty things but you still stood by my side…”

 

*

“…and I thank you for all of that.” Seungcheol gazes at the younger lovingly, his hands on his mouth.

“I know we argue most of the time and I always made you cry but hey, you always forgive me and you always believed in me…”

 

*

“…you’re always there for me. Always love me. And if you’ll allow me, I am willing to show you that I can do the same for you…” Jihoon’s eyes are wide with happiness. His lungs are clearly malfunctioning now, his breathing becoming rugged. The older opens the tiny box and in the middle of it is a plain silver ring.

 

*

Seungcheol’s heart skips a beat, opening the velvet box, revealing a plain silver ring.

Seungcheol chuckles softly, staring at the shiny ring.

“Will you marry me…”

 

*

Jihoon chokes at the older’s question.

His eyes teary as all the things that happened to the two of them comes flooding his mind.

The bad things and the good things. The ups and downs. The moments when he thought of giving up and just let the older go.

The times when he thought that this moment will not come.

The older and him together, forever.

 

*

Seungcheol looks up, confused on why is the younger not answering him. He understands why when he sees the younger crying his heart out. Seungcheol gets up, hugging him.

“Hey don’t cry. You’re not answering my question, is it because of the ring? Or is it because of…” the younger playfully slaps Seungcheol’s chest. The older beaming at him as he asks him again,

“Will you marry me…”

 

*

“Of course I’ll marry you, you idiot, Kwon Soonyoung!” Jihoon hugs the older tightly, resting his face against Soonyoung’s chest.

 

*

“…Yoon Jeonghan?” Seungcheol whispers at the younger. Jeonghan simply nods, too overwhelmed with the moment.

 

*

Today, their lives begin.

 

 

***

"Yeoseodo." Jihoon watches Soonyoung talking over the phone. Soonyoung’s back is turned away from Jihoon, his posture kind of slouch because of too much hours of typing required in the office work Soonyoung has since he graduated from university.

"Yeah, tomorrow. 3pm sharp." Soonyoung’s gaze finds Jihoon, who unlike Soonyoung who is sitting in relaxation on the soft bed, is standing awkwardly at the far end of the room near the door. Soonyoung beams at the younger, Jihoon weakly smiles back.

Tomorrow is the day.

The day that Soonyoung and Jihoon will finally tie the knot.

It has been four years since Jihoon came crying inside Soonyoung's dorm, revealing all the rendezvous he made with Seungcheol and how Jihoon deeply regretted it.

Soonyoung was taken aback from all the confessions but he loves Jihoon so much and that's all that mattered. And the fact that Jihoon admitted his affair with Seungcheol made Soonyoung's heart ached and at the same time, made him realize that Jihoon truly wanted to turn a new leaf and start all over with him.

Instead of being mad, he soothingly hugged Jihoon and told him that everything would be alright.

After that night, they left Seoul, promising that they would start a new life in Yeoseodo, leaving all the heartaches and deceptions behind them.

"Hyung? Soonyoung hyung?" Chan who is on the other line speaks, waking Soonyoung from his wandering thoughts, forgetting for a moment that he is still on the phone. Jihoon snorts as he watches a baffled Soonyoung heading outside their hotel room.

Jihoon sighs, glowering at the identical pair of tuxedos hanging in their cabinet.

He should feel happy, contented, even excited, right?

But why is he… not?

Maybe this is what other people say? That moment when a person does not even know what to feel before his or her big day, wedding jitters.

Am I having cold feet?

No.

That can't be.

Jihoon loves Soonyoung.

Soonyoung is really kind to him, really good, and Soonyoung still accepted him though the older knew he cheated with someone else, and worse, he cheated with someone who is also in a relationship.

He loves Soonyoung.

He loves Soonyoung.

He loves Seung…

Jihoon shakes his head, erasing those thoughts.

It's just wedding jitters Jihoon, relax. You need to loosen up a bit, he convinces himself.

Jihoon takes his coat from the rack.

"Where are you going, Hoonie?" Soonyoung pockets his phone, staring at his fiancé.

"I'm going to grab some drink." Jihoon looks at the clock hanging on the wall, it's past eleven in the evening. Soonyoung approaches the younger, putting his arms around the smaller. Jihoon buries his face on the older's chest.

"Don't stay up too late and please Lee Jihoon, don't drink too much. I don't want to marry someone who looks like because of hangover tomorrow. That will not look so good in our wedding pictures." Soonyoung teases but there is a hint of concern in his voice that didn’t go unnotice. Jihoon nods and kisses the older's lips lightly.

Jihoon heads towards the door with too much going on inside his head that he didn't hear Soonyoung's remark.

"Please come back, Jihoon. I don't want to lose you when we're this close to having our happy ending."

 

***

“Hey.”

Jihoon turns his head, staring at the stranger who disturbed his serenity. He squints his eyes, studying the features of the unwelcome stranger.

His features all too familiar, achingly familiar.

It turns out, he’s not a stranger after all but he’s still unwelcome.

Jihoon puts his attention back to the cold bottle of beer in front of him. He is currently in a bar a few meters away from the hotel where Soonyoung and him are staying. He is on his fourth bottle when this not-so-stranger came to him and Jihoon swears that he is not delusional because he feels the warmth that he longed to feel every night when that person sits on one of the stool beside him.

To set the record straight, Jihoon is not drunk, just a little bit tipsy but he soon realizes that if he is not drunk then he is probably out of his mind because he is having a conversation with this man.

The man who caused all of his miseries.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine, I guess?” Jihoon answers casually, picking the bottle up then chugging the bitter beer.

“It has been four years since we last saw each other. You look… good.” Jihoon observes the man sitting just a foot away from him. He wants to return the compliment but he can’t.

What will he tell him?

That he hasn’t changed a thing? That he still wears the same smile that made Jihoon’s insides turn upside down? That his now grayish hued hair suits him? That how Jihoon still longs to hug him? That how Jihoon misses to stare at those doe eyes? That how Jihoon’s heart aches because he can’t erase that beautiful face in his mind, in his memories?

He just can’t.

He can’t do that.

He can’t do that anymore.

“What are you doing here?” The man asks, ordering a bottle of beer for himself. Jihoon raises his bottle a few centimeters away from the other’s face.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m drinking.” Jihoon rolls his eyes, earning a laugh from the other man. Jihoon stiffens.

That laugh.

That laugh that made Jihoon’s heart race way back when, and he hates to admit it but it still has the same effect to him until now.

“How’s life, Hoonie? Oh. I’m sorry. It should be Jihoon, right? But, you didn’t mind back then.” The other man gulps his beer, staring at no one in particular.

“How’s Soonyoung? I heard you’re together now.”

“Seungcheol.” Jihoon breathes out.

Like it is a forbidden word that can’t be uttered. Like that simple name can put Jihoon into a spell he thought he will never be put under again.

It was long ago.

It was so long ago but his tongue still burns. Denying to himself the times that he called for that same name repeatedly inside his head, in his dreams. It has been four years but damn, that single utterance just puts Jihoon back inside that room, inside that unit.

“Are you happy now, Jihoon?”

Jihoon purses his lips at the question.

How can he answer that?

Is he happy now?

For Pete's sake! I am getting married tomorrow to someone who loves me so much. I answered yes, I agreed. It only means that I am happy, right? I am happy! Of course, I am happy!

He should be happy!

He should be.

Should he?

Jihoon looks intently at Seungcheol as if asking what to do.

Just a few hours ago, he convinced himself that it was just wedding jitters he is feeling but seeing Seungcheol in front of him gives another perspective.

A perspective that he doesn't like to entertain, a perspective that will definitely ruin his life for the nth time.

Jihoon can see Seungcheol holding his breath. Jihoon's eyes questioning him with something that Seungcheol can only answer.

"I need to go." Jihoon announces, emptying his bottle of beer in one gulp. Jihoon has a lot of questions too but decides not to ask. The bar suddenly becomes so suffocating that if he will not leave immediately he will regret it for the rest of his life.

Four years ago, at Unit #5144 Jihoon decided and he will stand by that decision, not only for Soonyoung but also for himself.

Seungcheol watches Jihoon as he prepares to leave.

Deja vú.

Seungcheol watching Jihoon take his leave without even telling his true feelings.

But, what could he say to make Jihoon stay? His mind was all-messed up and they were just 19, he was too immature to realize that he needed Jihoon more than he ever imagined, he needed Jihoon more than anything else, more than someone else.

When he realized it, it was too late. Jihoon was gone.

Seungcheol heard from their common friends that Jihoon left with Soonyoung the day after their last meeting at the hotel room. He even asked their friends if by any chance, Jihoon left an address or his new phone number but to his dismay the younger left none.

He was too late.

But, that didn't stop Seungcheol from going every night at the same unit, hoping. Just hoping that Jihoon would come crashing in, smiling at him and telling him how much of an idiot he was for thinking that Jihoon was gone for good but no luck.

For almost a year, he waited and waited at the same unit, but he grew tired and realized that the younger was probably gone for good.

There was Jeonghan who was always by his side, making him happy and that put Seungcheol's mind off of thoughts of Jihoon. They were a couple and he was neglecting Jeonghan and it was so unfair when Jeonghan was just there loving him all through out and there he was thinking and longing for another man.

Jeonghan was a wonderful man and Seungcheol was so fortunate to have him and the thoughts of Jihoon were all put aside because of Jeonghan's presence.

It took him four years to asked Jeonghan to marry him and they decided to do their wedding in Yeoseodo.

That is the reason why he is in Yeoseodo.

Seungcheol is getting married here, tomorrow, 3pm sharp.

The reason why Seungcheol is in the bar?

Well.

To drink? To stop overthinking things? To stop asking himself if he made the right decision?

Then, he saw a familiar man sitting on one of the bar's stool, his pink hair now dyed in auburn. But, that didn't make him less cute, it actually suited him.

Seungcheol was too numb with emotions to even consider the first words he uttered at the younger as he approached him. He told Jihoon that the other looked good.

What an understatement.

Jihoon looks perfect. As always.

Seungcheol is dragged in reality when a wisp of air hit him. Jihoon puts his coat on and leaves a bill under the beer bottle. Jihoon is about to turned around when Seungcheol catches him by his wrist.

"Four years ago. I was too naive to even realized my true feelings for you." Seungcheol states, Jihoon struggles as he remove Seungcheol’s hand which is holding his wrist.

"I was so immature back then. I know you might not consider this but-"

“God! Seungcheol let go.” Jihoon stops struggling and just stares at Seungcheol.

"Jihoon, stay with me. For the last time. I am begging you."

Don't Jihoon. Don't listen to him. You're getting married tomorrow. Don't do this to Soonyoung.

"I was so stupid that it took me four years to realized that I should've held on to you tight that night and never let you go. I should be doing these four years earlier and I can't blame you if you don't feel the same anymore." Seungcheol loosens his grip but his eyes are pleading.

Jihoon is standing there, looking intently at Seungcheol who looks so broken now.

They are just empty words Jihoon. He just wants a one-night stand. No strings attached. Jihoon thinks, his mind thinking all the possible reason on why Seungcheol is asking him to stay, and to be frank all of it are negative.

But, his heart?

It tells him to stay. To stay beside Seungcheol though he knows that it will not last.

One final night where he can hug Seungcheol, where he can let Seungcheol feel the love that is only for him, always for him. One final night where they can do what lovers do.

No more doubts.

No more second guessing.

Just the two of them.

"I'll definitely regret this." Jihoon says, pulling Seungcheol and kissing him.

 

***

Jihoon shakily tugs Seungcheol's shirt causing the older to smile between their kisses.

"Impatient, are we?" Seungcheol teases Jihoon who is under him. He lifts the younger’s upper body, undressing him. Jihoon grunts at the remark allowing Seungcheol to take his clothes off.

"I miss you so much, Hoonie." Seungcheol says, kissing Jihoon's exposed shoulder.

"Liar." Jihoon retorts, pulling Seungcheol, changing their positions. Jihoon sits on Seungcheol's stomach.

"What?!" Jihoon blushes, noticing Seungcheol smiling all dimples at him.

"Nothing. It's just that… you haven't changed a bit, still the feisty Lee Jihoon." Seungcheol smirks, holding Jihoon's waist. It still perfectly fits his hands. But instead of those soft plumps that he is so accustomed to touch, Seungcheol feels the hard muscles and Jihoon’s washboard abs are a sight to see.

Jihoon ignores the comment and instead, he pulls Seungcheol's shirt above his head, removing it.

Jihoon raises an eyebrow, noticing a tattoo on Seungcheol's left clavicle. Written there in bold Hangul letters, 우지 (UJI/WOOZI).

"I had that two years ago." Seungcheol mutters, watching Jihoon who is looking at his tattoo without any reaction. Jihoon’s lips are pressed tight.

"When I realized that you're not coming back I decided that I have to do something that will constantly remind me that I met a certain Lee Jihoon. I hope you don't mind."

Seungcheol is the only one who knew about Jihoon's nickname, Woozi (Uji), short for Our Jihoon (Uri Jihoon). Jihoon touches the tattoo with shaking hand.

Jihoon doesn't want to know how other people interpret the tattoo and how did Jeonghan react when he first saw the tattoo on his boyfriend's collar bone.

Was Jeonghan jealous? Or he simply didn't care?

Jihoon leans closer, gently kissing the tattoo then proceeds kissing the life out of Seungcheol. Jihoon immediately breaks the kiss, staring at Seungcheol's half lidded eyes, Seungcheol pulls Jihoon in a tight hug while the younger rests his face on the crook of the older's neck.

"I'm getting married later." Jihoon whispers.

"I know." Jihoon rolls onto Seungcheol's side, side hugging the older.

"I'm also getting married later."

"Really?"

Jihoon moves closer, noticing how Seungcheol's scent didn't change through the years. How Seungcheol's lean built fits his own small frame. Jihoon keeping in mind the happiness he is feeling now and questioning himself why Seungcheol's the only person who can do that. The only person who can give him true happiness.

The only person he can't have.

“I really need to go now.” Jihoon rises from his position and sits. His back turned away from Seungcheol. He stops himself at looking at Seungcheol because once he does they both know that there will be no stopping themselves.

They want each other, they crave for each other but they cannot be with each other.

“Jihoon…” Seungcheol touches Jihoon’s back, caressing it in a way that makes Jihoon melt.

“I just want you to know that I love you. Up until now, I still love you.” Jihoon feels his tears fall. His body trembles as hot tears can’t stop falling. Seungcheol’s caresses didn’t stop. Seungcheol back hugs Jihoon and presses his cold face against Jihoon’s warm back.

“If I tell you that I want to be with you, Jihoon. That I am willing to run away with you at this very moment? Leave everything and everyone behind, what will you say?”

Jihoon wipes his tears. He holds Seungcheol’s hands and kisses each one of Seungcheol’s fingers. Seungcheol can feel the wetness of Jihoon’s lips and the wetness of the tears that Jihoon kept all these years.

“I love you too, Seungcheol.” Jihoon bites his lower lip.

“But, what we are now are different from what we were back then. I really wanted to be with you, Cheol but… That’s all in the past now.” Jihoon cries. His voice breaks but his breaking heart is even worse. He can feel it squeeze in pure agony, screams in misery.

Seungcheol retracts his hand and moves far from Jihoon.

“There will be a lot of people who can get hurt if we give in to our selfish desires.”

Jihoon stands and wears his shirt.

Maybe this is for the best, he keeps telling himself. Maybe this is just what we will ever be. Maybe we are just two hearts not meant to be one.

Jihoon sighs, forcing his tears back. He exhales some more and smiles. He can’t let Soonyoung see him like this. Soonyoung loves him and he can’t betray that. He trained his heart to only beat for Soonyoung or is it his mind doing all that? Because only one man can make Jihoon’s heart beat and that is the same man he will leave for the second time during this lifetime.

“I hope for your happiness, Jihoon. I really do.” Seungcheol’s voice is cracking on the edges, he is stopping himself from crying.

“I thought I could give you that. I thought I can be your happiness but I guess I could not.” Seungcheol stands and faces Jihoon. He leans and plants a tiny kiss on the smaller’s forehead.

“The next time we see each other, I will not let you go. I will fight for you, for us, for our love. During that time, promise me Jihoon that you will let yourself be greedy, be selfish. Be someone who will let his own heart have what it wants, what it really wants.”

Jihoon nods, tears escaping his eyes. Seungcheol wipes it with his thumb. He smiles at Jihoon and slowly let go.

“I guess this is goodbye for now?” Seungcheol’s tone sounds between hoping and breaking. Jihoon smiles back and wears his jacket. He walks towards the door and touches the knob.

“Say, if I turned up uninvited on your wedding? And tell everybody that I want to run away with you, will you go with me?”

Jihoon let that question unanswered as he steps out of the room.

 

***

“We gathered here today to witness the holy matrimony of Kwon Soonyoung and Lee Jihoon.” The pastor starts and Jihoon feels like he is floating, like he is dreaming.

Soonyoung smiles at him and he can’t help but smile back. That is one of the hundred reasons why Jihoon wants to be with Soonyoung, he can make Jihoon smile without any valid reason just by looking at the older he can feel all the problems go away.

Jihoon throws few glances at the façade of the church. Seungcheol’s parting question plays inside his head.

Say, if I turned up uninvited on your wedding? And tell everybody that I want to run away with you, will you go with me?

Will Seungcheol really do that?

Soonyoung catches the way Jihoon’s forehead creases, he squeezes the smaller’s hands. Jihoon feels it and stares at their joined hands.

The pastor asks something and with a nod and a whispered yes Jihoon answers.

A part of Jihoon wants to see Seungcheol bursts inside this church and march towards him, gets his hand and drag him away for there.

Jihoon can vividly see it, the future they will have, Seungcheol and him.

They will have a small house but a loving home, two children running around and a golden retriever on their strive. He will get mad at how Seungcheol always let their children eat sweets and how Seungcheol will pout upon realizing that he is being reprimanded in front of their children.

Jihoon will definitely keep a garden. Every evening, once the children are sleeping Seungcheol and him will lay on the grass, tangled to each other while watching the stars.

Jihoon’s eyes never leaves the façade, still waiting for it to burst open.

Jihoon can clearly visualize it, their life together, Seungcheol and him.

Their fights about nothing of importance and how they will always end up in bed after. How they will grow old together, watching their children have their own families and their naughty grandchildren who will always visit during weekend.

The way they will be sad at seeing their children go but will be happy because they will have the house all by themselves. They will be as naughty as they were when they are in their 20’s, how active they were during their prime. Seungcheol will definitely look for those photo albums that Jihoon will keep in their attic. Letting Jihoon die of embarrassment while they are looking at each photos.

Jihoon wants that church door to open now. He will be selfish, greedy just this once.

Just this once. Please.

“I now pronounce you, husband and man.”

Jihoon let Seungcheol go, he let him say goodbye.

So, why do I keep on hoping that he will come?

Jihoon starts tearing up. Soonyoung starts to cry too but they are crying because of two different reasons.

Happiness and tragic heartbreak.

 

***

30 years after.

 

Lee Seokmin lays on his bed, it has been almost two years since he was at their old house, the house of his parents and now he will stay here for good.

It is actually weird.

Going in the city to study and upon graduating you will go back in your parents’ house.

It is weird.

Seokmin climbs out of his bed and walks towards their attic. Back when he was a child, he loved running up there while his father ran behind him. It was just a miniscule space with colorful walls and a few of Seokmin’s favorite toys. That attic served as his own play room.

But now, 20 years after he was born, he goes back and it is still the same miniscule place but the colorful walls had turned into gray and lifeless. There are a lot of boxes and toys.

Seokmin picks one box in particular. The box where a neatly written Mementos is scribbled, it is definitely his father’s writings. He opens it and is greeted by tons of letters. They are all unopened so it’s either the letters that his father received but didn’t open or letters that wasn’t given to the recipient.

There are no address for the receiver but the returned address is theirs. These are his father’s letters for someone. But, why didn’t he give it?

Seokmin sees a couple more letters and cut outs but what stood out are the pictures of a man together with his father. They looked young and happy.

There are more solo pictures of the man. The man when he was playing basketball, when he was eating some bread, when he was laughing, when he was playing with a huge golden retriever and when he was just standing.

Seokmin’s eyebrows meet and his lips turn into a confused frown.

He turns each pictures on its back and finds each one with a neat To the one I’ve been missing. at the back. Each pictures are dated, the last one is dated back to the night before his parents’ wedding, October 19, 2016.

Seokmin stares at the man on the picture, there is something so familiar about the man’s face, like he has seen him before.

Seokmin hears the loud clinking of the front door. He puts one picture inside his jean’s pocket and runs towards his father. He gets one grocery bag from his father’s arm. His father observes him.

“You look agitated. What happened?” Jihoon asks, tilting his head up, meeting his son’s eyes. Thank goodness, Seokmin got Soonyoung’s height and not his.

“Nothing.” Seokmin scratches the back of his head. How can he tell his father that he found his little mementos of a man that is not his father, Kwon Soonyoung?

“I am 52 years old now, Minnie. I can smell bull from miles away. Spill it.” Jihoon walks towards their kitchen and arranges his groceries. He opens the fridge and produces a small pack of celery.

“Well, I saw someone and I keep on getting the feeling that I saw him before.” That is not a lie though.

“Oh, really? Where did you see him again?”

“On a picture. But, he is younger on that picture. He is old now.” Seokmin thinks of all the old people he met in his life. There are hundreds.

“Well, you studied in Seoul. Maybe he just looks like one of your professors?” Jihoon tries, cutting the celery into tiny pieces. Seokmin’s eyes sparkles at the recognition.

“That’s it! You’re a genius, Dad!” Seokmin kisses Jihoon’s temple and runs towards his room.

“Yah! Seokmin, I told you no running!” Jihoon shakes his head, smiling at his only son’s actions.

“Sorry, Dad! I think I finally remember where I saw him!” Seokmin shouts from his bedroom. He snaps a picture of the man and sends it to someone, a very close friend.

A few seconds later, his phone vibrates.

 

Choi Hansol

WTH MAN!? WHY DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF MY FATHER WHEN HE WAS YOUNG!?

 

Seokmin calls Hansol asking him to meet him at 4pm on Saturday.

“Do you still remember when you told me about your father’s lost love?” Seokmin starts without any preamble.

“Yeah? I grew up listening to the stories of my Dad’s lost love. About a man he really loves and that they had love at a wrong time. What about that?” Hansol’s signal crackles a bit.

“Do you know his name?”

“No, my father never told me.” Hansol thinks a bit.

“I know his name. The name of your Dad’s lost love.” Seokmin smiles, staring at the picture of Hansol’s Dad.

“His name is Lee Jihoon, and he is my Dad.”

 

***

Jihoon opens the door and closes it a second too early after.

He holds his chest and at his age, he is sure that in any minute now he will be having a heart attack. He is seeing things, or seeing people to be exact.

The knocks come again and just to be sure if he is not dreaming, Jihoon opens the door again, just a fraction. The man on the other side smiles awkwardly at him.

“Hi?” The man’s voice that Jihoon once remember as deep as an ocean is now kind of hoarse because of age.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jihoon hisses, he looks mad now and he is mad.

Before the man can answer, Seokmin opens the door wide enough to invite the man inside their house. Jihoon eyes the young man behind. Based on the pictures that Seokmin sent him when he was still studying, the young man is Choi Hansol, Seokmin’s best friend.

“Dad, I invited them.” Seokmin hugs the old man to Jihoon’s horror. The old man ruffles Seokmin’s hair, Jihoon’s heart skips a beat. He is having a heart attack at the visual.

“Do you remember Mr. Choi, Dad? Hansol’s father? The one who is very kind to me?” Jihoon just nods, staring at the man in front of him. Oh God, please, no.

“This is him. Choi Seungcheol.”

 

***

To say the least, this is awkward.

Seokmin and Hansol decided to go out for a walk, saying that he will give Hansol a tour since it is his first time in Busan.

“So…” Seungcheol breaks the silence. Jihoon glares at him and Seungcheol gives him one of his infamous kicked puppy eyed look.

“Stop doing that. We’re not young anymore.” Jihoon rolls his eyes.

Jihoon side eyes Seungcheol. He didn’t change drastically when it comes to his physical appearance. Just a few gray hairs and wrinkles he got because of too much smiling when he was younger. Choi Seungcheol still looks handsome as ever.

Jihoon is 30 years older now and he is proud to say that all that happened years ago are all behind him now. He learned how to accept everything and maybe that is the reason why he looks at this man without any bitterness in his heart.

“How’s Jeonghan?” Jihoon asks. Seungcheol uncomfortably avoids Jihoon’s eyes.

“We’re divorced.” Seungcheol whispers. Jihoon stands and goes straight inside the kitchen to get some water.

“How’s Soonyoung?”

“He’s dead.” Jihoon answers coldly.

Soonyoung died 10 years ago because of a disease, it was too late when they know about it. The disease was eating him from inside.

Just before Soonyoung died, he told Jihoon that he was one lucky man because Jihoon chose him. He cherished everything and was very thankful that Jihoon allowed him to love the younger. In those 20 years, Jihoon had made Soonyoung the happiest man. But, Soonyoung wants Jihoon to be happy, to be with his true happiness. In his dying breath, he wished for Jihoon's happiness, to be happy with Seungcheol.

“I’m sorry.” Seungcheol’s shock expression warms Jihoon.

“Seokmin is a really good kid. You must be proud.” Seungcheol averts their topic. He stands from his seat and looks at the photos hanging on the wall.

“I am very proud.” Jihoon smiles subconsciously.

“I bet that you didn’t go here just for a few chats.” Jihoon sits on the chair across the one that Seungcheol vacated.

“Seokmin found your Mementos, Jihoon.”

Jihoon curses.

“He saw my picture and knew that it was me when I was younger. He remembered a story my son told him about my lost love. Seokmin was able to put two and two together.” Jihoon gulps, he knew that this time will come but he didn’t expect it until their next lifetime.

“I never forget about you, Jihoon, you know? You are always here.” Seungcheol points on his chest.

“The children are the one who brought us together, Jihoon. Our own children.”

Jihoon is lost. For the first time in a long time, he is speechless.

“Do you still remember the promise we had? Just before our weddings?” Seungcheol’s eyes are questioning him. Of course, Jihoon remembers it. He will always remember it 30 years after, 50 years after even 100 years after.

Seungcheol puts his hands on each of Jihoon’s shoulder, forcing the smaller to look him in the eyes. Jihoon’s eyes doing all the talking.

“Do you… by any chance…” Seungcheol’s hands find their way on Jihoon’s cheeks. “still loves me? The 53 years old me?”

Jihoon almost smiles.

But, his mind travels back to Seokmin, his only child. What will he think about all this? His father, Soonyoung, just died 10 years ago and here is Jihoon hooking up with someone from his past. Jihoon steps away from Seungcheol’s touch.

“I don’t know?” Jihoon bites his lower lip, a mannerism he has whenever he is thinking.

“What’s stopping you? I am free now and I know Soonyoung wants you to be happy.” Seungcheol frowns, he reaches for Jihoon and cages him in a tight embrace. Jihoon let himself hug back.

“How about the children?”

“Us? Please, don’t mind us.” Jihoon is startled, hearing Seokmin speaks from the door. Jihoon removes himself from Seungcheol. He clears his throat, blush creeping up his once smooth neck.

“It is about time to get back together, Mr. Lee. I am so tired of hearing him sing praises about you and how he was too stupid to let you go that night when you were in Unit #5144.” Hansol fakes a gagging fit.

“You told him that?” Jihoon’s voice rises a pitch, turning at a grinning Seungcheol.

Seungcheol just grins, his dimples showing.

“I guess I just can’t stop thinking and talking about you.” Seungcheol shrugs and reaches for Jihoon, pulling him into another tight hug.

Jihoon’s face falls into a beautiful smile.

Jihoon can vividly see their future together, Seungcheol and him.

 

 

*****

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME! <3

We can't let Jicheol suffer in an angsty lovestory, can we?

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