(n.) The sadness, depression or pain one feels about love unanswered or love that is gone

It was the first break and It's been a long since the last time She and Myungsoo ate or hung out at the cafeteria with Sungyeol & Sungjong but today was the first time Myungsoo left her alone, He just goes ahead after he had his food in hand and joins a lot amount of people at the very front table. She can see there are some of the seniors and juniors and few people from the performance club, basically his guy friends and not to forget, Soojung.

She feels so broken hearted. She could only stare unbelievable at him from the distant

Did he also start to forget about her now?

She knows that he spent more time with his club's friends even outside the club activities. Though, he used to never forgets to ask her if she wants to join them since he afraid she will be alone or felt left out. But today he just got new friends again, she sees. When did he got to know them? was it last short semester where he always said he's busy whenever she ask if she can come to his place but actually he hung out with them? with Soojung?.

She lost her appetite almost immediately.

Her heart was beating painfully.

She feels like crying.

She skipped the class after the break for few hours and use a stomach ache as an alibi so she can spend time at the infirmary. She doesn't wanna see Myungsoo nor Soojung that moment.

Bell ring again the sign of the second break after three hours of study. And she still doesn't wanna leave the infirmary.

The intern doctor suddenly approached her.

"Are you feeling better?" She placed her hand on top of Seulyi head. Seulyi shook her head.

"Should I just tell the teacher to send you home? You're a little pale" she continued, Seulyi doesn't nod nor shake her head. But the doctor decided anyway, she was sent home after that.

She continues to rest that day like someone who badly sick. Her heart badly sick.

At the 9.00 pm when she was about to checked her phone after oversleep because of crying, she saw his text popping up on her screen when she turns it on, he asked how is she feeling?. There's a glint of hope he still cares about her or at least that what she choose to believe, though the heartache still doesn't wanna leave.

*****

The next day she came late.

Myungsoo was studying at his seat. Without greet him, she pulls her seat and sat down immediately. Folded her arms together and choose to sleep instead, before she could rest down her head,

"Hey, did you seen my text yesterday? How are you feeling today?" Myungsoo stops what he's doing and faced her.

She considering if she should reply with sarcasm or like she used to. After few seconds of silent and he actually waiting for her answer, she said, "My whole body is aching" without looking at him and ready to get back to sleep.

That was not a sarcasm nor a usual honest replied. She doesn't know why she gave him a such answer either, maybe so he would get worried and will stick with her for the rest the day. She hopes.

"I didn't know you would sick yesterday, you looked fine," he said, this time going back to focus writing on his notebook.

"I didn't know either skipped a breakfast will make me sick" she make sure she emphasizing her words, hopes it reminds him of something. She gave him a very irritated look while he still writing.

Before he could respond to her words, an annoying voice calling his name. Her footstep getting closer and closer.

"Myungsoo-ah, can we talk a bit? It's about hongdae performance later" her voice sound like a cruel screech of a fork that you scratch against the floor or a long nails that you scratch against the marble material, so horror to her.

"Oh Seulyi! I heard from the teacher you were sick yesterday and you have to absent from class to went home and rest, are you fine now?" She suddenly asked her. To be honest, Soojung never does anything wrong or bad towards her, she never did. But Seulyi hates her so much, that she want to kill her so bad so she will never see her again.

"Yeah, I'm fine" her tone was very unfriendly. "Can you both talk outside? I wanna sleep".

*****

She got confused again. Should she goes along with her plan, confess and let the friendship slowly fade or moving on now and end the friendship right way, since he spent his time more often with his new friends anyway. It's easier to forget him that way, right?

That day he doesn't ask her again, as soon as they bell ring, he immediately got dragged away by his new friends, and SooJung always sticks there with him.

She's sad and hurt but she can only lament on her fate.

Where was it start to went wrong? Why did he choose his new friend over her? What's so wrong about her? Why one by one, her best friends start to left? Was she too bossy? Was she too annoying? Was it because she's too miserable? too nosy?  too boring? No fun? What is wrong?.

She feels so pathetic and she could feel her eyes suddenly burning hot. She quickly stood up and left to the toilet.

"Eh, Did Myungsoo and SooJung dating?" She heard from inside her cubicle. She tucked back her hair to make sure what she heard was right. Date? She frown.

"I don't know, I heard some said yes, like if they don't date why did they coming to school together?" Another answered.

Did they come together? When?

"Then what happen to Seulyi? She got dumped?" The first girl guessed, "Is that why I barely saw them together anymore?" then she gasps by her own question remembering the two best friend who used to hanging together and not anymore along with the sound of water flowing.

"I don't know, did they even dating?" The second girl replied but her voice getting further together with the sound of their footsteps and not long after she heard the sound of a door opened then slowly closed.

She got out of the cubicle, went to the sink and wash her hand, continue thinking about ‘Myungsoo and SooJung' as she walks back to the class.

*****

Despite the friendship that each day getting an even loosen, she managed to hold on to it and made him do the same. Guess, she chooses to stay.

The final exam is getting nearer, he spent less time with his ‘gang' and went to study instead now. She got to see him more often, they even grab lunch together just like the old time. When she asked him about his ‘gang', he said they're doing fine, they're not on bad terms or anything. He just wants to study, since education is always first for him.

Seulyi has dropped out of performance club a month after the start of the second semester and joined caricature club instead so she doesn't know if there's anything happened within the club or his ‘gang' anymore.

During final exam, Seulyi always uses her chance to study with Myungsoo. During those moments, she goes back and deliberates with herself if she should still just confess to him or it's no need anymore because her best friend is back nowㅡall she need was having him around herㅡbut the question is, will he completely be back to her or was this just a temporary?.

It's funny if she had to call him a temporary best friend.

*****

They're a senior now. High School senior.

Myungsoo began to realise how long has it been since the last time they hung out together. The last time they play and joke around. The last time they studied together. Must it be long right? Since he could found himself how much he misses those moments. He was too distracted by his new friendship with his new friends that he unconsciously left her behind.

That last semester, around the exam where he starts to hang out back with Seulyi, it feels so much like paradise. He likes those time he spent with her. Less drama, fights, arguments, lies, and fake people.

He wasn't sure how he joined that ‘gang' either. It was from one person he befriends and got introduced to another friend by that friend then got introduced again to another friend and introduced again and the circles keep going on and he suddenly ends up there.

It was fun at first, they were fun people at first. They're like a new experience in his life. He used to always asked Seulyi to join him whenever he hangs out with his ‘gang' whether at school or outside the school until one day he stopped to do it, he forgot what the reason but theyㅡthe gangㅡnever seems to like her and He doesn't know why. But he found out later.

Later on, SooJung the new student joined the club. Everyone go crazyㅡguys especially. They're so happy. Beside pretty, she is very nice and humble, they said a future celebrity like her should be their friend. That was how she got into the gang.

That gang actually neither bad or goodㅡIt's more like mean and discriminated. First of all it filled with fun people, and it feels cool to be close with your seniors, they also loved musicㅡmostly, just like him, he felt a strong connection with them whenever they talk about music, their similarity taste of hobbies, and when they talk passionately about it, he loves them for it where at the same he despisedㅡhe was realized it too late, the gang only hang out between ‘the popular' onesㅡthat explained why they don’t like Seulyi aroundㅡ. They only going to accept you in their circles if you're popular. Those people are fake and selfish.

When he realised how bad they're, he began to make a distant, he's not leaving immediately and make a big fuss. He tried to slowly faded away.

He remembered how was the first time he met Seulyi and befriend her. She was the first one to approached him that day when he just joined the school. Not many people interest to friended him since he was too quiet and ‘cold'. It was the same too with his old school. That's why he grew up isolated himself, he liked to do everything by himself, he was too used to it until he met her.

She always curious with anything he does. She always stared at him anytime she can, it's creepy. He found her very annoying at first and sometimes he gave her a cold shoulder and ignored her. But she never stops to tried and even started to make a conversation with himㅡwhere he always half-heartedly repliedㅡand she doesn’t seem bothered by that.

One day they got a project to do. Myungsoo usually had many people lining up to be in his group because he's a top student. But that time, since he was new no one knew about that and he left alone when everyone busy made a group. He was too shy to ask someone to team up with because it's hard for him to even make a friend or initiate a conversation, then there, Seulyi carefully approached him with a big smile on her face.

He knew that she can just team up with anyone than him, He even heard the conversation She had when Hyunmi asked her to join her group then Seulyi suddenly rejected the offer, he still remembers how confused Hyunmi look after itㅡguess, Seulyi never rejected to be in the group project with her.

After the project, Myungsoo got to know her a little and vice versa. Seulyi told him that he should found a friend to hang out with because being alone is pathetic and looked miserable, she also told him there's a bigger chance he will get bully too and that kinda scared him, so when Seulyi introduced him to her friends, he tried to mingleㅡfor the first time.

After a few months, he started to understand why people like to gather together with their friends. From the quiet and timid Myungsoo he used to, he slowly began to open up and be more confident. He learned that have a friend was never a bad idea. It's actually funㅡso much fun. By then he decided to stay with them.

Growing up handsome and popular was two things he never expected. He got so much bless in life, agree?.

He has lots of girls send him love letters every day, he received lots of confessions. He is glad about all the love he received. Does he also has someone he loves? Yes he did.

SooJung is pretty. It's hard not to like her, she's attractive. To him she's perfect and he likes anything perfects.

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