Seungyoon hated himself for freaking out.

He had done jobs like this before. Mild espionage for some gang was nothing to him. Used to be nothing to him.

He used to do things like this all the time… and then Jinwoo came along.

Seungyoon didn’t even realize he was doing it but after Jinwoo more or less moved in, he started gravitating away from the gang-related jobs. He avoided his usual contacts and stuck to crimes he could pull off on his own. But even those left him feeling sick.

It was guilt. Guilt that rose up like bile in his chest every time he came home with stolen money. Guilt that wrapped itself around his throat, robbing him of air so he could never say anything back when Jinwoo murmured confessions of love into his skin. Jinwoo never seemed to mind that he couldn’t say it back. He said it often enough for the both of them.

Seungyoon didn’t deserve him.

If he didn’t know it before, he definitely knew it after seeing Jinwoo’s palace. Or mansion or whatever.

This man was educated. He was raised with a family and pets and love. He wrote for living and lived for the writing. He was selfless and gave as much money away as he made. And he was completely out of Seungyoon’s league. Seungyoon felt like he was corrupting him.

No, Seungyoon can’t tell Jinwoo that he loves him. He shouldn’t love him. He has to stop loving him.  

So, he went back to doing grunt work for gangs. Stealing information using whatever means he had to. Maybe the guilt will drive him to throw Jinwoo out so maybe he would be able to live with himself again. Or maybe Jinwoo will finally realize that Seungyoon was nothing but the scum of society, undeserving of the pure love that shone through his beautiful eyes.

Seungyoon stopped at the door of the hotel, taking a deep breath to calm himself. The Windsor was the classiest hotel in the city but it was owned by one of the most powerful gang families Seoul has ever seen. Power brings rivals and envy. And power and envy use people like Seungyoon to do their dirty work.

Seungyoon was supposed to steal information on the next business venture the Lee family was planning. The rival families had banded together, uniting against the Lee family and they had told Seungyoon to use whatever means possible to get them the information they needed.

I can do this, he told himself. He bounded up the steps of the hotel, hardly sparing a glance for the guards at the door. The secret to blending in was to stay in plain sight, acting like everyone else. And so Seungyoon did.

He bustled through the door, smoothly pick pocketing the key card of a guest who was rushing the other way and replacing it with a dud he prepared earlier. The guest won’t think much of it, hotel key cards spoil all the time. Now, Seungyoon had unlimited access to the hotels facilities, he could go where ever he wanted to. He was a guest after all.

Languidly approaching the reception desk, Seungyoon flashed the receptionist his most winning smile. “Hello, I am here in town on a business trip and I just happened to hear that Lee Seunghoon was also in this hotel? Could you help a guy out and tell him where to find a long-lost friend?” While talking, Seungyoon noted an array of screens beside the receptionist, displaying camera feeds from various parts of the hotel.

The receptionist smiled at him coldly, “Mr. Lee doesn’t like disclosing his whereabouts to strangers … long lost though they may be.” Seungyoon smiled, undeterred.

“Of course, he is an important man. Maybe I will bump into him somewhere in the hotel.” The receptionist shifted nervously, their eyes flicking towards of the screens. The board room, Seungyoon noted.

“Only guests can use hotel facilities, sir.”

“And a guest, I am,” Seungyoon waved the key card he held between his fingers. “Thank you for your assistance.”

He left the receptionist staring uneasily at his back and adrenaline coursing through his veins. All he had done was talk but Seungyoon could feel his heart hammering in his chest. There was a time when he would have pulled the whole job off smoothly, without breaking a sweat. But he was out of practice.

He made mistakes when he was out practice.

***

 He was in the board room, with an apron tied around his waist and Jinwoo’s dinner jacket stuffed somewhere safe. It had been easy to replace one of the wait staff. He just went up to the one who looked most apathetic and made up an excuse about the boss needing him somewhere else. And just like that, he was in.

The Lee family representative, their only son Seunghoon, was giving a presentation to a bunch of suits. Seungyoon could care less about the presentation or the suits but he made himself pay attention. They wanted to start a massage parlor of sorts in the heart of Seoul, which would be a front for gang activities and a brothel of sorts. It was easy for Seungyoon to remember all the facts, he might not have made a fantastic student but he was sharp. Keeping his cover wasn’t too hard either, the suits were too distracted by the possibility of fat stacks of cash to pay a waiter an attention.

But Seungyoon was still nervous. Seunghoon may not be his old friend but Seungyoon had still heard of him. He knew that Seunghoon had an unwavering loyalty to his family and was ruthless. Even now he could feel Seunghoon’s intense gaze sweeping the room, the most alert person there.

When he had a chance Seungyoon excused himself, making his way to the restroom. His phone had two messages, one from the people he hired, asking for an update. He sent them all the information he collected, texting as fast as humanly possible.

Hopefully I get out of here now, Seungyoon sighed, resting his head against the pristine walls of the toilet. This had been draining and all he wanted was to go home. He opened the other unread message on his phone, guilt and love filling his chest.

Hey, I hope everything’s going okay. I love you – KJW

I don’t deserve your love, Seungyoon reminded himself, a heavy ache in his heart. He was about to send back a quick reply when his phone vibrated. He opened the message from his bosses.

Get physical proof of the plans – X

Seungyoon stared at the message, feeling himself going numb. The easiest way to get physical proof was the paperwork he had seen Seunghoon tucking into his briefcase. He needed to get to that briefcase.

Which meant he couldn’t go home just yet.

Seungyoon resisted the urge to punch something. I hate this. I hate myself for doing this.

He left to go dig up Jinwoo’s jacket from its hiding place.

***

The bar was almost empty save for Lee Seunghoon at one end, a whisky in hand. He looked every bit as regal as a real prince would look, no one would ever think he was the heir to Seoul’s largest crime syndicate.

Seungyoon approached him slowly. When he went back to the board room, the meeting had already finished and Seunghoon had sent the briefcase up to his room. Now Seungyoon had to find a way up there and something told it wasn’t going to be as simple as pick-pocketing a key card this time.

“Hello,” Seungyoon said conversationally, slipping into the seat next to Seunghoon. The other man looked up slowly, almost as though he can’t believe someone dared to approach him.

“What are you doing,” he replied flatly.

“Making conversation. You look like you need some,” Seungyoon was playing up all of his charms, a slight smirk on his lips as he leaned closer to the other man. Seunghoon did not move away, his dark eyes boring into Seungyoon’s own, as intense as it was earlier.

“What’s the point,” Seunghoon glared down at his whisky “Talking about my problems isn’t going to make things go away.”

He was drunk, Seungyoon realized in surprise. Maybe this was going to be easier than he thought. He looked Seunghoon over and decided that his key card was probably going to be in jacket pocket. Seunghoon caught him looking and smiled suddenly. It was a brilliant smile and Seungyoon’s heart would have fluttered if he hadn’t been so surprised.

“Like what you see?” Seunghoon leaned in so close, Seungyoon could smell his whisky tinged breath. “I’ll have you know I am a taken man.”

Seungyoon nodded, plans rushing through his head as he tried to decide on his next move. If Seunghoon wasn’t so inebriated, his cover would have been blown for sure.

“Actually, I’m not taken anymore.” Seunghoon continued, not seeming to care if Seungyoon gave a reaction. “He broke up with me. Called me scum, can you believe it?”

Seungyoon decided the best thing to do was to play the sympathy card. “You? Scum? Is he blind? He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

Seunghoon threw his head back and laughed. “That’s a nice sentiment. I agree with him though. I am absolute scum. He deserves so much more than me.”

His words paused the rush of thoughts in Seungyoon’s head. He looked Seunghoon right in the eye as he said, “I know how that feels. It hurts… it’s like you are poisoning the person you love just by being with them.”

There was a moment when they were both simply looking into each other’s eyes before Seunghoon closed the distance, pressing his lips to Seungyoon’s. The kiss was searing hot and intense, Seunghoon kissed like it was the last thing he was ever going to do. Seungyoon kissed back, his hands roaming around Seunghoon’s body, searching for the little plastic card he needed to end all of this.

Whatever means possible, he told himself. Seunghoon pressed against him harder, his tongue moving against Seungyoon’s own. Jinwoo’s bright, doe-shaped eyes came to mind and Seungyoon had to push Seunghoon away, choking back a sob. Seunghoon did not seem to notice, as he ran a hand through Seungyoon’s hair and nuzzled his neck.

“Was that good?” he whispered against Seungyoon’s skin.

“Yes.” He still hadn’t found the card.

“Do you want to go upstairs?”

“Yes”

Whatever means possible, Seungyoon reminded himself.