If there was a competition, Sanghyuk definitely had won it.The competition to isolate Taekwoon in his own world of filth.

Sanghyuk knew Taekwoon was watching. He knew all the light in Taekwoon eyes just kept on vanishing into the obnoxious hole, as his hands trailed on Hongbin's glorious skin playfully. The closer they got, the more they felt their breath mixed into each other, the deeper Taekwoon was falling.

Unfortunately, the smirk on Sanghyuk's face didn't help much, despite more and more breath out of Taekwoon's helpless lungs. Taekwoon could easily see, even under the dim light of the club, not distracted by the loud, almost chaotic music, Sanghyuk's long fingers on Hongbin's fascinating curves of hips, Sanghyuk's breath nudging Hongbin's tempting milky white neck. There was suddenly something stucked in his throat, just couldn't get down. Something as heavy and miserable as how he felt just then. 

Too lost in his own thoughts, Taekwoon  shuddered to hear the clinking sound on the floor under his feet, only to realize how he had lost his grip of his drink just seconds ago. He just could't get the courage to look up, in this heat overtaking his body, of embarrassment, of shame, of knowing how cynical Sanghyuk's face must have been seeing his reaction. 

//

Torturing Taekwoon was always the fun part of the party. To Sanghyuk, at least. There was always this electricfied thrill running down his spine whenever he saw how much effect he had on the older. It was too hilarious to Sanghyuk. The way Taekwoon always tried his best to keep his stoic face on, in order to hide away all of his affection, only for it to rip open its owner's heart for the evil to play. 

It was undeniably addicting. The moment Sanghyuk finally encountered the elixir of his life, was when he realized how desperate Taekwoon's eyes were, seeing him cuddling with Jaehwan on the floor, limbs tangled into each other's. 

It made him feel special, it made him feel almighty, it gave him energy and hype whenever he woke up to face a new day in this busy life. Those questions of how should he make a sight, how would Taekwoon feel, how much agony was gonna be shown in those orbs this time, they excited him endlessly to the point of saving him from any boring spare time of the day.

Handed the power, he was no different from a puppy waving his tail waiting for the treat. He had seen that body shivering nonstop from disappointment, he had seen that tall frame trying its best to hide away, to curl into the smallest ball it could be, or those hands nervously doing all these weird motions covered in sweat, the tip of his head whenever he shied away from what he didn't want to acknowledge. Or those eyes bickering tears in despair, in the lightless corner of the storage room, known from sobs. The more he saw how Sanghyuk was all over some other people, who happended, to be beautiful, the more needy, submissive and uncontrolable on bed Taekwoon became, which had always been the younger's favorite, totally beneficial and thrilling.

But this was the first time he got to see such a strong reaction from Taekwoon, considering the guy next to him grunting at the spilled alcohol on his vest. Startled, the elder seemed to be, just like all those times he was near Sanghyuk. He chuckled at how frightened Taekwoon was over just a little incident, until his smirk was replaced by Hongbin's. 

That wasn't what he planned, that wasn't what he signed up for.

That man's tantrum shouldn't have changed into that close distance between him and Taekwoon, or that out of no where blush on Taekwoon's face, or even that arm on the sofa behind Taekwoon's head. 

Sanghyuk didn't remember, or didn't want to remember, anything, except for immidiately dragging Taekwoon out of the club, not even cared about how the older was struggling to keep up with the speed with stumbled feet. Oh, and how he hated that Hongbin's laugh in the background.

"What did he tell you?" 

"I-It wasn't anything important."

Taekwoon had never been used to facing Sanghyuk while speaking to him, let alone in this somehow dense air. And Sanghyuk didn't recognize his own loud groan. 

"Oh and now you even have the gut to hide things from me, hah?" Sanghyuk couldn't stop himself from gripping Taekwoon's wrist to turn him his way, something just took control of his whole body, his whole mind. More like, anger.

"It, it just.." Those glistening eyes, they just needed one more drop of pain for the ocean of misery to shed.

The loudest sigh he had ever heard from Taekwoon. He hated the hopeless tone of it, even after seeing all these helpless sides of the older.

"It just doesn't affect anything, so you don't have to waste your time hearing, Hyukkie ah." He despised it.

He despised how given up Taekwoon sounded.

"Don't ing call me with that Hyukkie bull again if you don't even let me know what that bastard said!" Taekwoon's back hit the wall hard, to the point he had to squeeze his eyes to let out a trembling breath.

"I-it just..." Taekwoon had avoided his eyes with all the strength he had left. "He just told me that i'm beautiful, that's all." 

"That's it?" Sanghyuk raised his brow to the highest, finally letting go of Taekwoon's collar, awkwardly watching Taekwoon shakingly fixing his clothes.

"Ye-yeah.. That's it."

"Hah, that dude must be blind as to tell that to your callous face." His inner side screamed stop, but how pride could take over all of his thoughts was terrifying. "Maybe someone made a bet then, to the tallest dude in the club they saw." He just couldn't watch any of Taekwoon reaction with his own eyes anymore, so that's why he left. If only he knew how much it meant to Taekwoon.

//

It felt as if Taekwoon was in love with the ground after that night, not Sanghyuk, judging from how those feline eyes just didn't leave the floor for one moment whenever Sanghyuk looked at him, which means every second of his day. His brows couldn't stop knitting into eachother, his shoes couldn't stop tapping nonstop on the floor. Sanghyuk had never been ignored like this, never. Taekwoon had always treasured every single moment he existed by glueing his eyes on Sanghyuk, appreciating any inch of the younger's drop dead beauty. 

This powerless feeling, was too foreign. To the point it scared him.

Sanghyuk wasn't the one that had effects on Taekwoon, but Taekwoon's glance could utterly decide Sanghyuk's confidence.

Wooing with Jaehwan, making out passionately with Hongbin, or even flirting and publicly accepting those girls' booty calls didn't even work this time. Taekwoon still didn't glance or even pay attention to him for any bit, only sticking with the ground, his note, his very own lunch table or that lonely sit at the back of the class. 

And it wasn't until the sixth day, when he saw that dude at the club that night surprisingly appeared again all smiley in front of Taekwoon, that Sanghyuk couldn't stand any anymore, furiously stumping to him when Taekwoon had been out of sight.

"So you're interested in Taekwoon, huh?"

"Oh? Oh! You're the one that dragged him out of the club that night right?"

"Y-Yeah! Just answer my question already." Sanghyuk just couldn't stop grinding his teeth together.

"Who are you then? His boyfriend? Or is he your secret crush? By the way call me Wonshik." Yep, deep voice's laugh totally sounded like , in Sanghyuk's thought.

"No, hell ing no. We just , that's all." 

"Trying to mark him huh? Well if that's true, you must be the one responsible for his ed up mind then."

"The you're talking about?" The only reason Sanghyuk would call Taekwoon like that was after he had ed the older thoroughly until bruises has covered him, not in that mental way.

"He just looked like he saw some alien whenever i told him he is beautiful or attractive, and when i asked him why he kept on denying my compliment that strongly, he just answered that was because he's nowhere near alike Hongbin or some dude named Jaehwan..i don't know." Wonshik started scratching the back of his head, all those pitiful expressions appeared all of a sudden. "When i insisted on calling him that, he just asked me if i didn't think he was boring and undesirable, unneeded, or was i paid to talk to him, or if i made any kind of bet of having with him. I don't think he is okay, man. This beautiful boy is living with nothing but insecurity. You should take care of him more the next time you guys-hey where are you going???"

The thing Sanghyuk wanted to do the most at that moment, must be running against a truck and be ran on thoroughly until he was nothing but dust on the road. 

He for sure had crossed the line. Where his infuriation turned into a monster torturing Taekwoon till he had nothing left unbroken inside of his body. 

Sanghyuk had watched Taekwoon breaking into pieces, and then slowly put himself back on, yet never had he seen him sweeping his own shred of heart down the burning hell like this time. He wanted to, had to glue the older's vulnerability back together, with his own embrace, what Taekwoon had always desired the most, muttering how warm his hug must have been in his sleep. But all that he earned was a quivering Taekwoon, full of terror.

"Taekwoon, why are you avoiding me?" 

How Taekwoon's ears turned crimson red, burnt under his breath, was just way too adorable.

"Taekwoon, why are you not answering me?"

Using fury had always worked, even more effective with his lips ghosting the back of Taekwoon's head, making him moan even in panic.

"Sang-Sanghyuk ah.." It's totally obvious that after a period of not crushed under the younger's crucifying touch, Taekwoon had become more and more sensitive, only needed a hard grip on the hips to squirm uncontrolably. "It-It doesn't matter.."

"Doesn't matter? Who do you think i am? Your toy? So you can just confess and ing leave? And go seduce just any other men? Who are you? A or something?" He didn't have the intention to be such an , yet something called jealousy just snatched his own brain away from his bridle. 

"I-I haven't... I have never kissed anyone." Look at me when you're talking, Taekwoon. Look at me. "Except for you." Just look at me. 

His hands started to trembe violently, and the floor echoed the sound of those crystal clear drops.

"I have never thought of.. thought of going with anyone, except for Hyukki- no, SangHyuk.. But why do i matter anyway.. I just happen to be your childhood friend that's why you unconciously have to stick with me.. I know i'm no good.. I don't have Jaehwan's bright smile or Hongbin's dimple, i don't have any of their perfection.. I know i'm nothing but the opposite of what beautiful is, and i know no matter what i do i can't stop being nauseous to you, or to anyone. That's why you always ignore me, that's why you only come to Hongbin or Jaehwan, why i tried to force myself upon you with my body.." 

In his entire existence, this was the longest thing Taekwoon had ever worded to him, yet bitterly made him heartsick to the point disappearing could be the only way for the ache in his body to fade.

"Bu-But i'm hopeless.. And as i continue doing...doing it with you, i just feel more desperate, like if it isn't for your pity, you wouldn't..do it with someone like me, who is not like Hongbin or Jaehwan.. And i can't stand seeing you suffer distress.. I just, i just want to grant you  the wish you has always wanted.. I'm sorry for binding you for so long.. I'm sorry for my thick skin.. I will finally just leave you alone.." 

Wasn't the world changing its color? Wasn't the walls painted red? Wasn't the whole universe pained with his sob?

"It isn't like..i can find any other man, you're the best, you're the most handsome person i have ever met, no-no one could resist you so please don't feel like it has anything to do with you!" 

It surprised Sanghyuk how Taekwoon managed to said all those words with his soft voice, with the same no expression face, but his almost invisible shiver betrayed its owner to show Sanghyuk how much he was actually feeling.

It just call for Sanghyuk to hug Taekwoon tightly, to never let him go, to love him endlessly, to stop anything from insecuring him, even himself.

Tantrum wasn't the best, but the worst way of him to force Taekwoon to show him his want, his love. But it definitely the best way to pain the fragile canvas named Taekwoon red, which suffocated Sanghyuk with his own guilt.

I'm sorry, he muttered, cupping Taekwoon's teary face.

You're the most beautiful thing in this world, he kissed his forehead.

I'm a for having made you feel those things, he ran his fingers carefully through those beautiful locks.

I will pay for this, i promise, he held the older tight as for nothing to be able to open his grip.

I'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. I'm sorry for being childish. I'll learn to protect you.

Taekwoon's tears turned sweet on his own tounge, listening to the crying baby hugging him, the one that was once like this when he was only 7 years old, asking for his mommy, only stopping when Taekwoon gave up everything to play with him.

"The only thing i want is you being happy, Hyukkie."

"And i want to make you happy from now on, Taekwoon."