There is no blood. At first. There is no tearing of memories apart as Kyungsoo walks into his mind. He just looks at Baekhyun and Baekhyun lies open and vulnerable before him, shivering, fearing, powerless. His lips sting and his skin burns where Kyungsoo touched him as he tries to shake Kyungsoo off, which has no effect at all and Baekhyun feels, for the first time, what it is like when the dirty corners of your mind are laid bare for others to walk in, how incredibly violating it feels. The phantom pain along the side of his ribs comes back with a vengeance as shifts through all his memories in the past few years at the Center, people begging, crying for their own lives, people slowly dying in their heads a million times, people bleeding themselves to death and Sehun, Sehun who had fallen in love with Baekhyun first, Sehun who had allowed Baekhyun to understand just what he was capable of, Sehun - and then there is just white, white, blank white, and pain and white - and Kyungsoo pushes through and Baekhyun feels the blood now, the resistance his mind puts up, screaming in protest as Kyungsoo attacks, patiently, firmly, systematically. Attacks until something gives, something bursts,  Baekhyun keens and Kyungsoo pushes through - 

Blink and he is looking up at a boy from the ground who holds up a soju bottle in one hand and brings his other fist crashing down towards his face as he whimpers and cowers, ‘hyung, hyung jaebal, hyung jaebal’ ‘hyung jaebal? Where is my money you bastard!’ the boy screams as he hits him over and over again until Baekhyun feels like he is going to break apart-

Blink and he is walking down a flower lines pathway, dodging around  little children with balloons and it looks so familiar, it looks so…… oh, a dim part of Baekhyun’s mind thinks, I remember this park from Kyungsoo’s memories but how am I - blink and he is on his knees on a dirty bathroom floor in front of a man who is ping his pants and Baekhyun tells himself to hold on through the pain, through the nausea bubbling in his stomach, till the man throws a wad of cash in his face and leaves and blink Baekhyun is doubled up in an alleyway vomiting what feels like his own soul out into the pavement. 

Kyungsoo pushes and pull further into his mind and Baekhyun gives in easily now, he is too confused, too surprised, he hadn't known, he hadn't known that he had  a life outside of the Center, he hadn’t known - 

Blink and he is following a small made man, dogging his footsteps casually and carefully, this is a practiced art now, the man leans over  a patch of dying Roses and his face is reflected in the water of the fountain before him and Baekhyun feels his gut wrench because it’s Kyungsoo, it’s Kyungsoo, it’s Kyungsoo. Younger, seemingly uncomfortable in his own skin and less unreadable, but it’s definitely Kyungsoo. He looks his over, notices the expensive clothes, remembers the expensive car, “Hey Fancy pants!” Baekhyun calls out cheerfully and Kyungsoo turns around like a startled deer. Easy money. Too easy, he thinks. 

Blink and he is smiling at Kyungsoo, who is stumbling over his own words. “I was just driving by you know, and I saw you and I just - you stole my money! I mean, well, I kind of let you. I totally kind of let you to, I could have stopped you. I meant it!” He leans forward up to Kyungsoo’s face and Kyungsoo stumbles back a few steps. He laughs. He laughs and he thinks of how happy his hyung had been with Kyungsoo’s money. He had even offered Baekhyun a bottle of soju, which he has swallowed down with difficulty. I will keep you around, little Kyungsoo, he thinks, you are pretty useful.

What does it mean, what does it mean if Kyungsoo is in his memories what does this mean -

Blink and Baekhyun is dragging Kyungsoo to an empty alleyway. He has played Kyungsoo beautifully all this time, and he can see how twisted up Kyungsoo is around him. This is easy money, he tells himself, and this won’t be as unpleasant as the usual men and women he has to drag to the same alleyway for a quickie. He pushes a startled Kyungsoo into a wall, caging him with his arms. He lowers his head over Kyungsoo’s face, wetting his lips and is pleased to see Kyungsoo swallow. Just as he is bending to kiss Kyungsoo, those beautiful lips, Kyungsoo places a palm on his face and pushes him roughly away. “Kyungsoo…?” Kyungsoo sighs in reply, grumpily, “You are an idiot.” he says as he grabs Baekhyun by the hand and drags him out of the alley. Baekhyun wonders if Kyungsoo is the picky type who only does it in rooms with the lights off  and he teases Kyungsoo about this with incessant chatter - Only to shut up when Kyungsoo shoves him into a chair in a restaurant and grumbles, “Eat. You are too skinny” at him. 

Baekhyun feels his stomach give a tug and he pushes the feeling down insistently. “I won’t. You don’t have to wine and dine me before you… you know…”

“Shut up and use that mouth for something useful for once.” Kyungsoo doesn’t even look up from the iPad he is busily typing in. 

“Oooooh.” Baekhyun says, leaning on to the table his face cupped in his hands, mischievously. “I can think of a few fun things I can do with my mouth. If you are the shy type - “

Kyungsoo reaches over the table and flicks him in the ear. Hard.

“ARGH! FU—-Kyungsoo! you! What was that for?”

“Eat.”

Baekhyun settles back into his chair, watching Kyungsoo wearily. 

Kyungsoo sighs again, as if he can practically hear the questions in Baekhyun’s mind. “No, I have not poisoned the food. No, it is not very expensive. No, I don’t expect anything from you for this. No, I don’t care if you say no I’m still going to shove the food down your throat-“ Baekhyun opens his mouth, but Kyungsoo cuts across “-and no, you are not fabulous as you are, you are too skinny.” he finishes his diatribe, and frowns meaningfully at Baekhyun before settling down to his iPad once again. 

Baekhyun stares down at the table and furiously blinks away the tears in his eyes. He feels so..full, so very full of - so many emotions that he is angry with himself. He keeps quiet, eating every last morsel of every dish that is placed in front of him. He gets up when he is done, bows stiffly, turns on his heels and leaves. He doesn’t look back. He is not ever hoping to come back. The life is the alleys and it’s give-and-take is at least a known comfort and never makes Baekhyun feel like he is guilty, like he owes people anything. Kyungsoo doesn’t call after him. He doesn’t expect him to. 

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