Youngbae turned to face me and looked me straight in the eye.  I felt my face start to heat up and I knew it was already as red as a tomato.

“youngbae-ah, you know I love you too.” I let out a forced laugh that sounded weird.  “We’ve been best friends for six years now.  You’re already like a brother to me.  My family.”  I smiled at him but he just turned away and looked ahead.  He stayed quiet for a while.  As we just sat there, the sun began to set.  Its orange rays colored the afternoon sky.  But as mesmerizing as it was, the beautiful sunset couldn’t make me take my eyes off of my best friends hurt expression.  Did I say something wrong?

“bae.. say something.” I nudged him a little.  I couldn’t take another minute of this deafening silence. 

“saranghae dara.  More than a friend, surpass a best friend, and not as a sister.  I love you.  Can’t you see me as more than just your best friend? More than just a brother? I want you to be MY GIRL. Will you be my girlfriend?” 

I froze.  My mind went blank.  I was shocked by his sudden confession.  I didn’t know what to think let alone say to him.  Youngbae just looked intently into my eyes.  I’ve never seen him so serious.  I was confused.  Should I tell him about how I really feel? That I’m in love with Jiyong?

“I.. I.. Youngbae.. I..” I tried to speak but my words wouldn’t come out.  My throat went dry and I couldn’t finish my sentence.  What was he going to do if he found out that his best friend is in love with his enemy?  It would hurt him! I would hurt him!  He would hate me!  He would leave me and he wouldn’t be my friend anymore! All these thoughts came ramming into my brain.

“what? You what dara?” he asked me softly.

“I.. I can’t bae.. I can’t see you as more than my best friend.. I’m sorry.. I..”

“You like Jiyong. Isn’t that right?” he cut me off.  His voice grew louder.

My eyes widened in shock.  I don’t know whether it was his question or the tone of his voice that surprised me more.  

“what are you talking about..” I tried to deny.

“how long are you going to keep pretending? You’ve liked him since first year, right? Why do you keep hiding it from me? I know. I’ve known all along.  I’ve just been waiting for you to tell me.  Why do you keep lying to me Dara?” Youngbae started yelling.  His eyes were filled with frustration and disappointment.  My heart ached.  I felt it beat wildly.  All these different feeling came crashing in me.  Guilt, anger, sadness, and before I knew it tears started streaming down my cheeks.

“then.. then.. why did you say all of those things about loving me?” I cried out.  I tried to stop my tears but it kept falling.  They kept rolling down my face wetting my uniform, but I didn’t care.

“I wanted you to tell me the truth..” he answered me.  His voice trailed off and he wasn’t looking at me anymore.

Hearing this, I felt a sudden jolt of anger inside me.  How could he?  Playing with my feelings just to make me tell him that I like Jiyong?  And here I was trying my best not to hurt him!

“you’re despicable! You know that?! Evil! Just because you want me to confess you lied to me like that? You played with my feelings?  Ok, yeah! I do like Jiyong! I’ve liked him since first year! Hell, I might even love him!” I paused catching my breath.  

“and you want to know why I lied? Why I hid it from you? Because I know you hate him! I know you would hate me if you knew I liked him! I didn’t want to hurt you! I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship! That’s the truth! Happy?!”

The six years we have been friends, Youngbae and I have never had a fight before.  Now we were yelling at each other.  

The sun had completely hid itself beyond the horizon leaving the dark in our company.  The sound of crickets filled the silence between us as we both just sat there unable to say anything.  My whole body was shaking from anger and continuous sobbing. 

“I.. I was wrong.. I’m sorry dara.. but I’m not lying.” Youngbae started to say.  He let out a long sigh.  “I really do love you. More than you know. That’s why when Jiyong came to me and told me that he liked you and that he wanted us to make a truce and not be enemies anymore I freaked.  I know I’m stupid, but I just didn’t want him to take you away from me. I didn’t want to lose you..”  his voice trailed off.

He took my hand and looked t me.  His eyes pleading, begging for forgiveness.  I don’t know why, but at that moment I felt exhausted.  I pulled my hand back and looked up at the sky.

“Youngbae-ah.. I’m not some object that someone can snatch away.  You, of all people should know that.  But, you know what, whatever.  I’m tired.  I don’t care anymore.”

I got up without looking at him and ran.  I ran down the hill ignoring Youngbae who kept calling my name.  I kept running until I finally reached my room and threw myself on my bed.  Then my tears burst out again, and I cried like there was no tomorrow.