Watching eyes, fresh ideas, black soul

 Recommended song: Stalker – Ukiss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzMe5VWRYYY

2 days left for the meeting...

She had noticed that for the past few days someone was watching her. She couldn’t see anyone, but every time she returned home from leaving Yeongnam in kindergarten, she would feel a pair of eyes stuck on her back, but every time she would turn around, she would see no one. Sometimes, when she was in the supermarket buying groceries she would feel a sudden chill run through her back, yet there was no one near her at that moment.

She had wanted to tell someone about these frightening, blood freezing events. However she had no one to tell them to. After giving birth (and during her pregnancy) the little friends she had all left her as they classified her as an unpleasant person to be with. And, really, the only good friend she had had was Suho, but he had left her too. Without knowing she was carrying his child.

Deceived by this fact (of her being friendless), she started thinking about the few acquaintances she had made throughout her life: the nurse who assisted Joongki in Yeongnam´s birth (who she was sure had a crush on the doctor), the waitress who served her daily cup of mocha with extra whipped cream and iced in summer, the old woman who woke up early in the morning to sell a few cups of homemade ddeokbokki to pay her grandson´s university fees (that was the reason why she would eat a couple of cups everyday even if she didn´t really like spicy food), the ahjummas sitting in front of the gourmet  store (where Saera bought Joongki´s wine and other delicatessen) in summer, too poor to buy anything from inside, but trying to feel the cold gust of wind coming from the air conditioner from inside…

She had never known them personally (except for the old lady selling her homemade snack), but she had grown used to those faces and had overheard most of the ahjummas´ conversations about the prices being too high in the fish market or boasting about their sons who just got promoted in an office or their daughters who got married to a very rich CEO because of their beauty. They would always end their conversations promising each other that the next time they would meet, they would be wearing designer´s clothes and buying foie in the gourmet store. However, the next day they would present themselves with the same cheap paper fan and their sweaty floral dresses

.

Thinking about them Saera appreciated how lucky and unlucky she was at the same time. She could go to the gourmet store and buy anything everyday without blinking at the price tags, but she would never be able to fantasize like the old ahjummas did, she could never look dreamy like the waitress in the café who would always be thinking about finishing her job and meeting her boyfriend. She would never be able to feel the feeling of being loved by her family, of her parents being proud of her.

 As she walked down the alley towards the café she frequently visited, she felt again the chills running through her spine. This time she didn´t bother to turn around because she knew that she would find herself in an empty space, and then she would think of herself just as a paranoid person. That would be what Joongki would have said if she had shared this story with her. He would have told her to go to sleep and leave him alone as she was clearly just exhausted and was imagining things. She didn´t dare either to go to the police because she was scared Joongki might misunderstand and beat her.

While she kept walking (and thinking) she crossed the road for a moment to go to a small kiosk, stopping to buy a newspaper. She had always loved reading, but since she was with Joongki she had found impossible concentrating on a fragment of writing longer than a page and a half. That was the reason why she would only buy newspapers: to read the short “interesting” reports.

She arrived as always and didn´t even have to tell the waitress her order as she was already waiting for Saera´s arrival. Saera sat on a comfy lavender moon-shaped puff, near a 2 mater window. This way she was able to entertain herself watching people passing by. She once like to play with Suho a game: trying to guess what the peoples passing by´s lives were like. Now that she was alone she could only think of how dreadful they might be.

As the waitress served her coffee and she opened the newspaper her gaze immediately focused on a half-page-covering advert:

SM CEO LOOKING FOR PA

MUST HAVE A UNIVERSITY DEGREE

KNOWLEDGE OF: SOFTWARE, CHINEESE AND ENGLISH