Having a boyfriend who turns into a fox every winter is an intense experience. I never got used to the idea of having to say goodbye to him with every breath of cold breeze, and it was inevitable to miss him. But despite everything, my life has not stopped.

We decided not to tell my parents about our relationship, it would be even worse to have to explain why he would have to leave me in the future - and never return. I didn't want them to think that he was a bad person. So when I decided to rent an apartment, Jinyoung was the friend I would split the rent with every summer.

We rented an apartment in the mountain climb near the forest, since it was the best option when dealing with any problems we could have. I graduated college and got a job in the city, not far from my new residence. Work was stressful, but I liked keeping my head busy while Jinyoung was out. It was still difficult, but, in a way, it was like a preparation for the future.

That year, Jinyoung did not return on the first week of summer. He also did not return on the second, nor the third, and I wondered if I would ever see him again. When he said goodbye to me, at the beginning of the autumn, he told me that we would see each other again in the summer. I was trying to hold on to his words, but every day that went by was one less day beside him and less hope for us too.

On a Thursday morning, I heard noises at the front door. I looked at the clock and realized it was 3AM, and for the first time, I was afraid to be there alone. As I approached it quietly, I heard the noises growing louder. Just when I was about to touch the door handle, the door opened. I jumped back, and the person on the other side did the same. As it was dark, I could not see who it was, and my fear was greater than my will to turn on the light.

- Who's there? - I asked in a trembling voice.

I knew that this was the stupidest question on earth. If it was a thief, what would he say in return? "Hi, I'm a thief, I'm here to rob you"? But in the absence of any logical reasoning...

- Hey, when you will turn on the light?

The familiar voice that came from the gloom in front of me made my heart stop beating for a few seconds, and I swear I sighed so loud that the whole neighborhood must have been able to hear. Jinyoung entered the apartment and the light, since I felt unable to move.

- Why so late? - I asked with a smile on my face.

- Sorry, I could only go back now.

- I thought you wouldn't return.

- You wouldn't get rid of me that easily.

Jinyoung smiled back and I hugged him so hard that I was afraid his frail body would break in half. He returned my hug, resting his head on my shoulder.

- Welcome back, I missed you.

- I missed you too.

We hugged in silence for a long time. That was our - rather dramatic - welcoming ritual.

- Hey Jinyoung - I said, breaking the romantic mood - you stink.

- I know - he laughed - I haven't showered since last fall. I need you to rub my back.

I gave him a smirk and then pushed him into the bathroom.

It was funny that no matter how long we stayed apart, nothing changed. There was no awkwardness or unusual behavior, nothing. It seemed as though our time apart was frozen and thawed when he returned. Unfortunately, it wasn't like that. And as much as we tried to keep living our lives just as we did before, laughing and making jokes all the time, we both knew that this was our last summer.

Jinyoung would not come home next time.

I had saved money all winter so we could have the best summer of all. Jinyoung was amazed when I said that we would travel to the beach, and even if he could not get into the cold water, we had a great time rolling in the sand like children. We visited many places and my photo collection increased a lot. But even without all those photos and videos, I knew those memories would never be forgotten.

The memories of those days when we were young and we could do anything, memories of when we walked hand in hand, laughing at each other's faces, happy to just be together. I knew that those days would never happen again, but I was glad to have had the opportunity to experience it all.

Jinyoung started trembling at the end of summer, and we could not leave our house anymore. So we spent our last few days hugging each other all the time, inseparable.

- At what age did your parents stop being human? - I asked, looking  at the television without paying much attention.

- My dad was 33, my mom, 35 - he said.

- That's not fair, you're only 25.

- I know, but it's different for each person, there is no explanation.

I stayed silent for a while, thinking that the most amazing thing in the world would be having another 10 years next to him.

- How did your parents meet? - I asked, breaking the silence.

- They knew each other since childhood. People with our condition used lived together in an insulated place in Korea. But then my parents found that the living conditions were better here than over there, and we moved soon after I was born.

- And how you were born, anyway? Pregnancy takes nine months.

- My parents planned everything, but I was born prematurely, after 8 months. It was crazy, but ended up working. My mom got someone to take care of me while she was away during the winter. I had my first transformation after 1 year of age.

I was used to the craziness of this whole thing but sometimes I still got surprised by the stories of people who were so different from me. Jinyoung was thoughtful, staring at a fixed point on the ground and I tried to decipher what was going through his head.

- You know - he resumed - I asked my parents why they had had me, why they'd want a child to go through this misery - he was silent for a while, and then continued - They told me that having a child was what brought them the closest to normal humans.

- I'm glad you were born - put my hand on his head and his hair lightly.

- Now I'm glad too - he smiled, a little flushed, and propped his head on my shoulder.

I his hair until he fell asleep, and I admired him sleeping for a long time, trying to memorize each of his features in my mind, so I could never forget them.

 

 

It was late afternoon when I received a message on my phone during work. Most of the words made no sense, but as the message had come from Jinyoung's phone, I knew it was not good. I rushed home and found him in a position that was already familiar. He was under a pile of blankets and trembling all over. My brain went completely blank as I walked toward him.

- I can't control it - he said, trembling so much that all the furniture in the room seemed to shake with him.

I could not answer, it didn't matter how much I wanted to.

- I'm sorry - he said.

Jinyoung grabbed me and drowned in tears and chills as I remained motionless.

- Dongwoo, please ... say something ... I don't think I can hold on much longer.

He looked at me as if pleading for me to say that everything was fine, that I was okay. But it was impossible to say anything of the sort.

- Don't react like that - he pushed me lightly, while trying to control his tears.

- You'd better go - I said, getting up.

Jinyoung looked at me with a terrified expression and was silent for a long time. Then he laid down under 5 blankets that were on the bed.

- What are you doing? - I asked, confused.

He did not answer and did not move. I knew he was making an absurd attempt to contain the transformation, and also knew it was my fault. But all those years of preparation had not been enough.

I walked into the living room and sat there alone for a while. It did not take long for my own tears to start falling and I felt my heart getting lighter, gradually. Soon I would be ready to face him again.

I was going to apologize for my selfish behavior when I walked into the room and came across Jinyoung sitting in bed, all wrapped in the blankets like a little burrito. Only his eyes were out, and the sight was so lovely that a smile escaped my lips.

- I'm sorry - I said, sitting beside him.

- I'm sorry too - his voice was weak and muffled by the blanket.

 We stayed in our usual silence for a while.

- Dongwoo, do you remember the things you promised me?

- I don't think this is the time for it...

- Do you remember? - He insisted.

- Do you really want me to say that I will fall in love with someone and get married and have a family and be happy forever? Do you think I'm able to even think about these things right now?

Jinyoung freed one hand from the blanket cocoon, and placed it over mine.

- I just want you to promise me that you will live a good life. I won't be around this time, I'll set you free. So just promise me that you will live well and my conscience won't be as burdened.

- You won't be around? - I asked, feeling my last shred of hope leaving me.

- It would do us no good. This better end here.

Jinyoung got rid of the blankets and stood in front of me, opening his arms.

- Give me a goodbye hug.

I looked at him, feeling as though my legs weighed tons.

- I'm waiting - He smiled.

Then he gave me a big smile, which ended up making me smile too, and I hugged him with all my passion.

- Thanks for everything, Dongwoo. Thanks to you I had the best years of my life.

- Thank you for making me a better person. I will be eternally grateful to you.

Jinyoung surprised me by holding my face with both hands, as I always did with him. Then he leant in and kissed me warmly and tenderly. This was the first time he took the initiative to kiss me, and even if it was our last kiss, it was something I would never forget.

Despite his trembling limbs, he wanted to walk outside on his own two feet. We crossed the yard holding hands, until we reached the forest's entrance, safe from any spying eyes. We let go of our hands and he took a few steps toward the forest. Then he turned, as usual, and looked at me. Despite being completely distraught, he'd never looked as gentle or as beautiful as he did just then.

- I'm glad we're saying goodbye with a smile instead of tears - he smiled - Thanks for that, Dongwoo.

- Don't get in trouble - I said, trying hard to hold back my tears.

- You too.

He nodded and turned around, walking through the trees until I could not see him anymore.

I just noticed that I was holding my breath when I heard his voice again, echoing like a beautiful melody.

"I love you".

- I love you too - I screamed back, tears rolling down my eyes.

And those were our last words.

 

 

 

 

I was tapping my hands on the steering wheel, humming along with the melody that played on the radio. The sun was beginning to set on that autumn evening and what I wanted most was to go home after a hard day's work.

Seven years had passed since Jinyoung left. Just as he had promised me, I never saw him again in his animal form. But I was still able to remember him as if I had seen him yesterday.

During these seven years, many things had happened. 2 years after saying goodbye to him, I met a woman at work whom I ended up falling in love with. I can't make comparisons between what I feel for her and what I feel for Jinyoung, because these are two completely different things, but I can say for certain that I like her. Our dating soon turned into marriage and gave us a daughter, now 2 years old. When I stop to think about it, I see that I fulfilled the promise I had made to Jinyoung very naturally, and I feel happy about it.

No, I haven't forgotten him. And I never will. But I had to go on living.

When I parked the car in the garage, I saw that Maddie, my daughter, was crouched in the middle of the yard. Despite all my past apprehensions, I had bought a house on the top of the mountain, so we were surrounded by the forest on all sides. Sometimes I thought that it was an attempt to feel closer to him, and felt very pathetic for it. But my family loved to live near the forest, so it ended up being convenient.

- Hey Maddie, what are you doing? - I said, getting out of the car.

Maddie turned and looked at me. It was only when I got closer that I noticed that she was not alone. My legs trembled when I saw that there was a red fox sitting in front of her.

- Dad - she said, smiling - This is my friend.

The fox looked at me and I realized that my intuition was right: I knew those eyes. I tried my very best to look as normal as possible in front of my daughter, but my heart seemed to want to jump out of my mouth.

After 7 years I was seeing him again.

And he was alright, he was alive.

Maddie was behind his ears, as if the two were close friends. I would not expect less of him.

- Dad, I'm gonna have dinner, are you coming? - Maddie stared at me kindly.

- I will in a minute, princess - said, ruffling her hair.

Maddie pouted and fixed her hair, then ran into the house. I turned my face and stared at the fox, who was still there, staring at me.

- You came back? - I said, crouching next to him.

The fox came up to me and, as if no time had passed for us, nudged my hand with its snout, asking me to its fur.

- I missed you, you know? - I said in a choked voice, behind his ear.

Jinyoung looked at me and then my hand. I knew what that meant.

"I missed you too"

- Glad you missed me - I wiped a tear that was running down my face - Don't go away again.

Jinyoung nudged me with his head in agreement and then turned his back and walked away, disappearing into the forest. This time I knew he would come back, so I turned around and walked in the opposite direction, towards my other life.




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Thanks for reading my fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed~