The first few weeks were the worst. I thought of him all the time, dedicated most of my days to locking myself in my room, looking at our photos and living off of our memories. Sometimes, I peeked out the window to see if he was around, but he knew he had to be cautious because my dad was a hunter.

A month later, I started getting desperate, because I could not remember clearly the sound of his voice. I wanted to hear him, touch him, feel him. I'd spend whole days lying in bed. I was probably depressed.

On a freezing Tuesday afternoon, I came home as usual and was climbing the stairs to my room when my mom stopped me. She touched my arms and my stomach and looked at me worriedly.

- Son, you're extremely thin. What's going on?

She was right, but it was hard to crave food. It was hard to crave anything.

- Is this because of Jinyoung? Do you miss him?

The story I had told my parents was that Jinyoung would have to go study in the city, where his parents were living, and could only return in the summer. They knew we had become good friends, but I didn't know it was so obvious that his absence was the reason behind my sadness.

My mom took out an envelope and put it in my hands. I looked at her, confused.

- Jinyoung handed me this letter one day while you were in college. He asked me to hand it to you only if I saw that you were very sad.

Not knowing what to say to her, I turned my back and walked up the stairs as fast as I could. I knew I was being ungrateful, but I could not utter a single word at that moment. My heart pounded in my chest as I opened the envelope and found myself facing his handwriting.
 

"Hi Dongwoo, hope you're not reading this letter, because if you are, it's a sign that things are not going well. I am writing in a desperate attempt to help you overcome any possible suffering that is greater than it should be.

At this point, I am a fox, I'm walking through the woods and living like an animal. My heart, however, keeps all our memories and is waiting anxiously for our meeting. What I want you to know is that I'm living, and I want you to live as well. I want you to go to college, study, go out with your friends and smile at least three times a day. And I want you to eat well, don't even think about showing up all thin and pale in front of me, I swear I'll bite you (a fox's bite hurts a lot, I'm warning you).

I'll be watching over you, Dongwoo. Every night, if possible, I'll be watching over you. Please take care of yourself, take care of your body, and LIVE. Live, and wait for me.

This is not a goodbye, okay? It's a 'see you soon'".

There were a few more words below the text, which I tried to understand without the slightest success. I glanced at the last corner of the sheet and then I saw what I expected.

"I love you".

Jinyoung had written I love you a lot of times but scratched it, embarrassed. I felt my chest getting warm, and even if I was crying at that moment, there was something like a twinkle in my eyes. He was watching over me and expecting the best of me, I had to stop acting that way.

I wiped my tears and folded the letter carefully, placing it back in its envelope. As if each of his words had given me strength, I went downstairs and found my mom in her natural habitat, the kitchen. I hugged her from behind, apologizing.

- Mom, please make me something delicious to eat.

- My son is back? - She smiled, my hair.

- Back and starving.

Jinyoung's words really gave me the strength to resume normal life. I started paying more attention in class, and put our photos aside for a while. Not that I had forgotten him, on the contrary, but I had keep my mind busy while he was away.

On a gray and cold afternoon, one of my college friends came to my house to study together. We sat at a large table at the back of my house, and we were drawing graphics on sheets of paper for hours and hours. She was someone I really liked to talk to, she was funny and always had crazy ideas about anything.

- You should dye your hair blue - she said, as she traced a line with black pen.

- Where did you get that idea from? - I said, laughing.

- I don't know, I think you'd look good.

- Oh, you have strange thoughts - I said, tracing one of my lines.

I was focused on my work when she threw a paper ball on my face.

- Hey? - I laughed, picked up the ball and threw it back.

- I needed to get your attention - she also laughed.

- Why?

- There's a fox in your yard watching us for hours.

She pointed a finger over to the forest, and I saw him. After many weeks without seeing him, Jinyoung was there, through the trees, watching us. He did not look like the docile fox I saw last time.

- There are some foxes in the woods, but don't worry, they aren't ferocious - I said, not knowing for sure whether it was true.

- That doesn't reassure me, this one is growling at me - she said, a little frightened.

Jinyoung was actually growling at my friend and the only thing that occurred to me was that he was jealous. I could not control the laughter at the thought of this possibility and I felt happy in way I hadn't felt in so long. I knew he wouldn't attack the girl, but for safety reasons I decided to take her into the house.

It was nighttime when she left and my parents arrived. I thought he had already left, he knew when my father was home, and that it wasn't smart to be around at these times. But when I looked out the window, I saw his silhouette through the low vegetation. Trying not to draw my parents' attention, I went out to see him.

- Hey, Jinyoung - I crouched, so that I'd be almost down to his height - What are you doing here at this hour?

No, I did not expect an answer. Not verbally, at least. It took a while until he approached me, and then when I least expected it, he my hand. There was something tender in the way he it, as if he wanted to comfort me somehow. I smiled and the back of his ears.

- I miss you too. And you don't need to be jealous, she's just a friend - I added.

Jinyoung did the same as before, poked me gently with his head. I his soft fur for some time, watching him close his eyes, and then I planted a kiss just above his eyes. He moaned softly and then turned away, walking toward the woods. I watched until he disappeared completely.

My parents left early on a Saturday morning, at the end of winter, to spend the weekend with my uncles. The temperature was beginning to rise, I had taken off two of my three heavy coats, and now I felt more comfortable. I knew it was not hot enough for him to transform, but just to think that spring was approaching, I felt my heart lighter.

I took my books to the table outside and spent the whole morning studying. Between one book and another, I peeked through the trees, looking for a certain fox.

- Hey, Jinyoung - I said, aloud - my parents went out for the whole weekend.

If he was around, he would hear me.

Five minutes later, I saw what I expected. The red fox was there, his reddish brown fur glinting in the morning sun.

- You can get closer, we're safe now.

Jinyoung spent the entire day sitting on the floor beside me. I did all my homework, which ended up taking hours. Sometimes he got tired and lay down, laying his head on his paws, in a pose that was so lovely, I wanted to hug him. When I was eating dinner, I offered some of my food to him, which he kindly rejected. Pizza was not part of the menu in a fox's diet, I thought.

It was nice to spend the day with him, even if he was only there without saying or doing anything. We were a little closer. When night fell, he nodded his head for me to go inside, but going inside meant bidding him goodbye, and I did not want to. So I dragged two thick blankets outside and made a little bed for me on the porch couch.

Jinyoung looked at me with an expression of disapproval and I could almost hear him say I was crazy, but I did not care. I lay down and covered myself, and called for him to lie on the floor beside me. He was a little reluctant, but then relented.

- Hey, Jinyoung - I said, looking at the fox - come up here on the couch, you can curl up by my feet, there's just enough room.

He did not move from his spot on the floor, probably ignoring me.

- Don't be stubborn, come here - I gave him a light pat on the head.

He looked at me grumpily and I laughed. Finally, knowing that I was not going to give up, he climbed onto the couch and snuggled down by my feet. I the area behind his ears and saw him close his eyes. Then I lay down and closed my eyes too.

Of all the winter nights, that one was my favorite.

As I walked up to my house in the late afternoon, I felt the sweat on my forehead. My arms were free from thick coats, after all, we were almost at the end of spring. The last few days had been crazy, I had had millions of finals and little time to study. I was thinking about everything I had to do that night - and feeling very stressed - when I heard footsteps behind me. Before I could even turn around, a familiar voice rang in my ears.

- Hey, Dongwoo.

I knew who it was even before I turn to look at him. My heart was beating so fast that it felt as though it was about to explode into a million pieces. I looked over at him and sighed in relief. He looked at me too, with the biggest smile I had ever seen in my life.

- I'm back - he said, opening his arms toward me.

I ran and hugged him so hard that we almost fell to the ground. Then I buried my head in his neck and cried desperately.

- You said you wouldn't cry - he said, his voice cracking.

- I'm sorry - I said between sobs - I missed you.

- Me too. I missed you a lot.

I looked around to make sure that we were alone and then held his face in my hands and kissed him. There was a mix of relief and passion in each of our touches, in each of our kisses. I wanted to hug him and stay like this forever.

- Prepared to have the best summer of your life? - He said, smiling.

- Can't wait - I smiled back.

We held hands and intertwined our fingers as we walked down the street to my house. There was so much to be said, so much to be done, but at least I knew we had the next three whole months to do it all.