Kris has lost count on how many times he had been sighing. He had been receiving many hate recently. All because he takes the decision to leaves Exo. Nobody tries to understand him except for Suho. He had asks him why he want to do that. And when Kris tells his reason, he understands and let him go.

Because Kris can’t just be there for a company that don’t really need him there. He just can’t be there because the company deemed they need him so that the other Chinese member will stay. Because SM treasured them more and know that they will need Kris to stay in Exo. At least, that what he had tell Suho. And there’s actually more than that. The more important reason than he being used by SM. Because for all he know, he had been used by SM since the day he being a trainee. That reason is the person he cherish the most- Minseok.

~~~

Minseok- or Xiumin, the name that SM had gave to the petite older boy. The one that always being jittery around Kris, and he called Kris hyung the first day they met. The smaller boy that had captured his heart even before SM introduced them officially. He remembered when they- the Chinese trainee first come to Korea and they are given time to explore Seoul, Luhan had bring them to a China street and he seen Minseok on the way there. Minseok was smiling to a boy with y face beside him. He is all smiling while eating a bun as white and smooth as his cheeks. Kris had instantly smiled. Then, the next week when he was introduced to Minseok and Sehun- the y faced kid, he unknowingly smiled, surprising the other boy.

They clicked rather fast.

Kris had never been good with expressing himself. He is rather awkward with everyone. He care, just that he never knows how to express his feelings. Whenever Yixing- or Lay will blank off, he knows the younger is thinking about his family back in China. He will sit beside the boy. Wait until he come back to real life, and knock his head for making him worried. So, when the first time Tao suddenly run to him, crying his heart on his shoulder, he just patted the boy head awkwardly. Minseok that has been with him at that time had took and bring his hand to Tao’s shoulder and him join them soon, hugging Tao close to their embrace. There is something finally snapped in his head. Their members need him. He never cried- at least in front of them, so they depend on him for comfort, they need him. Whatever it is, they need him. He needs to be strong for them. So he whispered in Mandarin to Tao ears “I’m here for you Tao.. I’ll always be here for you guys.” When he lifts up his head, he can see Minseok’s eyes bore into him. He smiled, the first genuine smile he ever give to Kris and says, “I’ll always be here for you..”

That’s when Kris realise he also have someone that look for him. And perhaps that’s the time he fall for Minseok.

They become close after that. He and Minseok always go for practise together. Blessed their voice instructor that makes Minseok the rapper although Kris believe Minseok can be a good vocal in their group. When he knows Minseok is in Exo-M, he is delighted. Because he knows they will be spending their time together all the time. Although Minseok is also close to Luhan, he will be looking for Kris to teach him Mandarin. Call him delusional but he don’t care a thing when Minseok will be looking for him most of the time even when he had Luhan by his side most of the time. He is contended with his life and his relationship.

When they heard about their next debut as Exo- the true We Are One-Exo, they are ecstatic. They will be together finally. That is their dream to be together. Then, everything went wrong for Kris. Minseok in Korea means he doesn’t need Kris by his side to guide. In fact, it’s Minseok and Jongdae that will bring them anywhere. And after they come to Running Man, people start to notice Minseok more. They finally realise ‘how adorable he is’, ‘how handsome’ or ‘how small he actually is’. The same persons that have least fans in Korea before then become popular in an instant. And Korean fans are no joke in shipping their bias. Thus, that’s how Xiuhan start reaching their popularity. Before, Minseok, Luhan and Kris will always be together as they are the oldest. Since SM seen the potential of Xiuhan, they ordered him to let Xiuhan gets more time together. So, he did. The time that they usually spend in learning Mandarin together is now for Xiuhan shopping or coffee date. And when they have free day, the other members will drag Minseok with them for other things. Kris let him. Because for all the hurt Minseok had received in China, he deserves every good thing back in Korea.

He is not blind. Sometimes, Kris will catch Minseok’s eyes on him. How? Because Kris eyes was always on him. When the older boy gets flu or fever, he is the one who will catch on first. Because Minseok has this one weird habit when he is ill, where he will become clingy with Kris and sit quietly in a place until Kris gets him. And as Baekhyun ever said to him, only he can make Minseok lost control and laugh uncontrollably.  So, he is satisfied with that. At least Minseok hadn’t forgets him and still need him.

But he can’t do much.

Kris is not stupid. He knows he actually like Minseok- maybe even love. And can also see how Luhan seems to have something for Minseok, ever since trainee day. He is not blind. Heck, the whole Exo know how Luhan have this loving gaze whenever he looks at Minseok and how he actually treasures Minseok than the others. He knew. He always knows. But he let his heart to hope. Hope that that’s just his feelings, that perhaps Luhan sees Minseok the way he sees Sehun. Someone that he need to protects and loves as brother.

Alas, who is he even trying to kidding?

One fateful night, SM are celebrating Exo upcoming first concert in a rent club. The concert that was also their dreams. Minseok- lightheaded over all the alcohol he had been consuming- was draping himself over Kris. Saying how much he had missed his Mandarin lessons with Kris. How he had missed Kris mainly. Kris was literally flying- until he felt himself been yanked and dragged to the less populated side of the club. Luhan is totally spent is his slurred word is any indication.  He said, hum, stuttered, cried and even laugh.  Others may hear is as gibberish. But not Kris- because he is not drunk enough to forget what he said.

“Because of you..  Because you *hiccup*.. Minseok can’t see me.. What is that so good on you? What?? You’re nothing.. You’re just handsome?? (giggle) But me? I’m everything.. What don’t he see me?? It’s because of you *sobs* it’s because of you*sobs*..” Luhan might only jab his finger on his chest, but for Kris, it felt like sword.

“Can’t you let him go Kris? Can’t you see he deserve better than you? Can’t you see he deserve someone rather than something. He deserves someone like me. Someone that SM treasure rather that SM used.” Luhan spat that before walk on his bubbly legs to the other.  

The next day, Luhan acts as usual and he know that the other don’t remember anything he said before. But Kris did.. And the word is carved on his mind. Kris remembers and he will always. And he know everything Luhan said is true.

“I’ll let you go..  I’ll let you go..”

A/N: do comment~ please remember that this is just my fiction and I'm too lazy to write dialogue so hope you guys still enjoy it~~