There was no knowing how long he had been standing there, just staring down at the waters with unfocused eyes. His mind told him that it had been fifteen minutes, maybe twenty, but the way his body was trembling in the cold wind suggested that it had been longer. He wasn’t dressed for the weather, for the cold wind that would have whipped his blond hair up into a frenzy if it wasn’t for the cap pulled onto his head. He was in basketball shorts, a random hoodie but with no tee shirt underneath, he was dressed for spring when the night felt more like winter and his body was hating every moment of it.
 

His back was tense, aching from the cold, his body stiff and doing all that it could to stay warm as his breaths created small pockets of mist in the air, and yet he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Why did it matter anyway? It didn’t matter...if he just followed through and climbed over the railing like he kept on telling himself that he would then the cold wouldn’t matter anymore, he wouldn’t be able to feel it anymore, he wouldn’t be able to feel anything. There would be nothing, sweet nothing, blissful nothing, all he had to do was just push himself over and let himself fall, the end of it all was within his grasp. He just had reach out and he could grab it so easily, the waters were waiting to consume him and everything he was, and yet his feet stayed glued to the hard concrete beneath him and suspended so high over the running waters below.
 

He was so deep in his own thoughts, his thoughts of should he or shouldn’t he, that he didn’t hear the sound of footsteps approaching. He had no idea that there was someone standing just behind him, watching him, eyes glued to him as he contemplated whether or not his life would end that night, but it didn’t take long for the unnoticed man to make his presence known. The stranger was curious, worried, watching Soonyoung to see what he would do next. It was obvious what the blond was there for, anyone could see that, and yet he was just standing there rather than getting it done and ending it quickly. The hesitation told them that maybe the blond didn't want this, not really, maybe he was confused, and it was that which made the stranger speak up.
 

“You’re hesitating” the sudden voice made Soonyoung jump, his whole body flinching and then quickly becoming rigid as his grip on the metal railings in front of him tightened and made his knuckles turn a ghostly white. He turned his head, snapping it around towards the voice, to find a man standing there. He was small, smaller than Soonyoung himself at least, with powder pink hair which completely contradicted the furrowed brows and frown pulling at his round face. His hair was ruffled by the wind, flying around his head in a way that made it look like cotton candy being twirled onto a stick, and it only served to widen the contradiction between his harsh expression and soft hair. “You’re hesitating” the stranger repeated, the way his eyes rolled being more obvious in his voice than from what could be seen behind his flying hair “If you’re going to do it then just do it, jump”
 

Sooyoung’s grip just tightened further, his blond hair hidden mostly under a ratty baseball cap so no amount of wind could make his hair obscure his confused expression. He looked at the stranger, the cotton candy haired man, with a small growing frown of his own and his fingers pressed further into the metal in front of him as if he would merge with the hard material if he tried hard enough. That was what he was there for, to jump, that was what he was going to do before he was interrupted by a harsh voice and pink hair. He had been about to lift himself up and over, he had been about to throw himself into the waters below, that was what he told himself but that was also what he had been thinking ever since he stepped out onto the bridge and he still hadn’t done it yet. He kept on thinking it, so sure of himself, and yet he wasn’t sure at all. It would better if he just did it, better for everyone and he was so certain of that, and yet fear still gripped tightly in the deepest parts of his heavy heart.
 

“You’re not going to are you?” the man continued to speak, despite the lack of reply, and Soonyoung just continued to stare. His eyes were heavy, heavy from lack of sleep and blurry with growing tears. How long had he been standing there, looking out over the waters and the night sky? He had been so certain when he had left his home and yet now he was stood there being berated by a stranger. The stranger was teasing him, taunting him, it seemed like he wanted Soonyoung to just do it and dive over the edge into the dark waters, but despite his harsh words the cotton candy man took a step towards his with small hands stuffed into the pockets of ripped jeans “Well, I’m not going to push you” he glanced over, brows now pulled out of their furrowed position and instead raised up, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this stranger wanted to do just that, just give him a shove and watch him fall. Maybe he would be thankful for that small push though, maybe it would finally get him to do what he had planned all along. He wanted this, he wanted everything to end even despite his hesitation now, he wanted it all to be over, and yet now he was there and ready to do it something was stopping him. The feelings were still there, the want and the need to just end the heavy ache in his chest, but something was pulling him back almost as if there was a rope tied around his waist “So come on, come with me instead”
 

The man cocked his head back, silently gesturing for Soonyoung to follow, and his pink hair flicked back to settle around his face he best it could in the roaring wind. He took one step back, and then another, before turning to walk away but not without glancing over his shoulder to see if Soonyoung was coming. Soonyoung just stared, he made no effort to move, he felt as if he could just crumble to the ground and cry. He couldn’t even kill himself. He couldn’t do anything, whatever he tried always turned out wrong, even something like this. He had known deep down that he wouldn’t be able to do it, the first twenty minutes (he was still guessing twenty minutes) of just watching the waters below told him that, but he had stood there stubbornly, trying to find the courage, only to ultimately fail. He had messed it all up, even before the nameless man with cotton candy hair arrived to berate him and make him feel even worse for standing there in the middle of the night and undoubtedly looking like a pathetic fool.
 

He didn’t follow, not at first, instead the stranger’s eyes met his own before he could hear the other man tutting, see him shaking his head, and watched him as he came back over. The stranger took hold of his arm, small fingers wrapping around a skinny wrist, before they tugged him along and almost made his stumble with the strength they used to tug him away from the bridge’s edge. For someone so small they held more strength than Soonyoung expected, he had assumed that the pink haired man would be nothing but harsh words but with nothing to back it up with, but it seemed like he was wrong.
 

“Get away from the goddamn railing” the man could be heard muttering, pulling Soonyoung down the street and away from the bridge completely. Soonyoung tried to pull his wrist out of the man’s grasp but they just held on tighter and pressed their fingers into the cold skin of Soonyoung’s wrist “We’re getting coffee”