“Can’t get anything past you blondie.”

Onew shook him roughly, jarring him forward. “Heechul I’m not playing with you right now.”

“Clearly, but I’m not going to tell you anything until you let go of me and start showing a little respect.” He jerked Onew’s hands off of him and took a step back, straightening out his clothes. “He’s fine. He just needed a little more time. You’ll see him again, don’t worry.”

Onew tried to calm down. “Don’t lie to me Heechul.”

“Now, what reason would I have to lie to you? I never have, despite what you might think.”

“Where is he?”

“Come with me.” Heechul ignored the question.

The guide remained still, part of him wanted to trust Heechul, the other wanted to look for Taemin.

Heechul sighed in frustration. “Seriously. Don’t be a brat, I expect more from you.”

Onew resigned and followed the man back into his pavilion which managed to appear out of thin air again.

“Sit.” Heechul motioned to the bench behind him. “One day you should really learn to trust me. Have a little faith.”

“You’ve done nothing to earn that from me.” Onew reluctantly took a seat.

“I think you’ll be surprised.” Heechul leaned over to the table and poured two glasses of wine, handing one to Onew, who refused it.

“No. Not again.” Heechul rolled his eyes. “The last time you did that to me I was out for who knows how long, hours…days?” Heechul shrugged as if he didn’t care. “And I felt like a zombie for a very long time after. I can’t afford to do that now, I need to find Taemin.”

“How is being a zombie any different from what you are now?” He took a seat next to the other. “Besides, you won’t find him.” He leaned back to sit comfortably taking a sip from his glass.

“What?! You said…”

“Not until it’s the right time.”

“Heechul, don’t play games right now…please….” He begged, trying to stay calm.

“So like I told you before, it’s in your best interest to cooperate with me.” He tried handing over the wine again.

“Fine.” Onew grabbed the glass and downed the red liquid in a few large gulps.

Heechul smirked. “I don’t know why you’re like this with me honestly.” He talked as Onew sat down his glass and leaned back. “You’re so quiet with all the souls you’ve led. So loving with Taemin. When you first arrived you were so respectful with Leeteuk when he tried to take you on.”

Onew felt his body get heavy.

“But with me you’re just a petulant little .”

“It’s…you said…” Onew mumbled fighting the sleep trying to overtake him. “You gave me false hope. I did….” His eyes rolled back in his head.

“Don’t fight it.” Heechul said softly.

“…trust you.” Onew whispered out as his head fell to his shoulder and the rest of his body went limp.

“There you go.” Heechul looked at Onew. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you then. But please don’t lose hope yet.”

He took Onew in his lap and held him much the same way he did with Taemin, soothing him with soft touches and words, encouraging him. His eyelashes fluttered as he went deeper into his mind, visions of the past and present stirring.

Onew felt something in his hand, he looked down and it was a black box with a gold ribbon around it. He was in a brightly lit room, the large window on the west side of the house bringing the daylight in on everything. His body tensed when he noticed the grand piano, he gripped the small box in this hands nervously.

Why was he here again?

There was muffled voice to his left and he felt the seat next to him dip slightly. He looked over and the faceless figure from before was there. His mind screamed for him to move away, to run again, but his body stayed put like he had no control over it.

What the hell is going on?

The muffled voice continued, by the tone it didn’t sound threatening but he still couldn’t make out anything it said.

His body continued to be a vessel his mind could not navigate; he watched through his own eyes as he took the blurred hand in his own and placed the box in it. He watched blurred finger tips pull at the ribbon and lift the lid, revealing a pocket watch.

My watch….

There were more distorted responses. A blurred hand was placed on his thigh, the touch left the skin there tingling as if his leg had fallen asleep. Just as he started to get used to the strange entity next to him, just as he stopped being so afraid of it, the room turned to ashes and smoke again and he felt his body being engulfed by cold.

He panicked, trying to open his eyes, get a grip on his surroundings; he felt like he was being down.

Kick, he screamed to himself. Kick!.

When he reached the surface he was at the river again with Taemin.

The younger was smiling and playful. Then in his arms, tears flowing down his cheeks.

Taemin….

The boy was pulled from his arms, sinking into the depths of the river.  He tried to grab for him but he kept slipping away.  

No wait! Taemin!

Just as water started to fill his lungs he was pulled from the river and was in a kitchen now. He inhaled deeply, the smell of food invaded his nose.

A voice came from the other room, still distorted but he could start to make out what it was saying now. The source walked in the room, features still a blur.  “Hyung, that smells amazing.” It came out robotic.

Hyung….

A hand brushed along his lower back as the figure went to the cupboard and started to pull out dishes. The touch gave him that same tingling feeling as the hand on his thigh did before. Onew groaned, a sudden pain in his head throbbing against his temples.

Before he could regain focus he found himself on a bed, a lantern the only thing illuminating the room. He felt something warm resting on his chest and in his arms and he looked down and saw a body curled into his own against his bare skin. A head of shiny black hair rising and falling with his own breath, but he couldn’t see the face from how they were laying. He moved a little trying to see only to have the person in his arms give a little whine and hold onto him tighter.

He saw his hand move up to the silky hair, he tried to say something, he tried to breathe but nothing would go in or out of his lungs.

Onew felt his head start to spin, a sick feeling rising in his gut.

The figure vanished and his skin was cold in the absence. He laid there, panting.  A sharp pain hit behind his eyes.

His own voice echoed in his ears.  Who was that?  What was going on?

“Shhh…Jinki it’s okay, everything is going to be okay. Don’t be afraid.” He heard Taemin’s voice like it was hanging on the air around him. He looked around and smelled smoke. He heard a scream. His scream? But it was coming from somewhere else. He gripped his throat.

Everything went black.

When he opened his eyes he was under a great big tree. He heard the sound of his own sobbing and felt his body shake, he still felt like he was suffocating.

“Jinki…”

Jinki?

He still heard Taemin but there was no one there.  All he saw was smoke rolling in on the horizon.

Onew fell onto the floor in the pavilion gasping for air, clothes sticking to his skin with sweat.

“What…how long…” He pushed on his head in pain.

Heechul held his breath, hoping, praying that he came back with something this time. That it worked.

Onew met his eyes and saw the concern in them.  “Taemin…” Onew tried to stand but fell back over.

“Take your time you fool.” Heechul helped him up onto the cushioned bench.

Onew squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shake off the hungover feeling.

“Well…” Heechul was getting impatient.

“I saw Taemin there, I heard him but….” He cursed and pulled at his hair. “I felt like I was so close Heechul. To something…who is Jinki?”

Heechul patted his back, he felt defeated himself. Even though they were closer than they had been before it wasn’t enough. Onew had never come back with his name before, even though he still didn’t know the significance of it.

He looked at Heechul. His face was paled, lips dry, eyes bloodshot. He looked ill. “You should rest a while.”

“I…I can’t…” He got up, stumbling a little on his feet and clumsily walked down the stairs outside.

“Where are you going?”

“To find Taemin.”

“I told you, you won’t find him this way! You need to rest!”

“Will he be okay?” Taemin spoke up from behind him.

Heechul sighed and nodded. “Eventually. He’s being stubborn.”

“So he won’t see me again until he remembers?” Heechul nodded. “So I can stay with him until then?”

“Taemin.” He flopped down and poured himself another drink. “Maybe you should think about if he doesn’t come out of this. He’s been here for a long time and…I just don’t want to give you any false hopes.” Heechul didn’t forget what Onew said as he slipped out of consciousness in his arms.

“I can’t do that. Not now. We’ve come so far.”

Heechul fell back against the cushions his arm over his eyes. “I’m sorry.” His sincerity sounded almost unnatural coming from him.

“For what?”

“Ever since you both came here ages ago and got separated, I felt so bad that I couldn’t help him. I’ve run across so many in my time that couldn’t be helped, but you two. Your love. I felt it was so important to keep that intact. And I feel like I’ve failed.”

Taemin placed a hand on Heechul’s knee. “No. I think you’ve brought us as far as you can. The rest is up to us.” He dropped his hand and walked away.

~

Onew stumbled around on shaky legs, blurred vision not helping his balance. He knew he should have stayed with Heechul until he came out of it more, but he couldn’t waste anymore time. He felt like everything was just out of his reach, and so much time had already been wasted. He couldn’t just sit idly by, he had to do something.

Taemin followed him a few paces behind. He wanted to help him, take his arm, hold him up, steady him, soothe him, comfort him, tell him everything. Seeing him suffer like this broke his heart, and to know he had been like this for so long, holding this all back. He clutched at his chest. “Please Jinki,” he whispered to himself.

Onew fell over, his body still for a few seconds before he rolled over to his back, chest rising and falling heavily.

Taemin knelt next to him. “You aren’t alone.” He whispered.

Onew perked up, as if he heard something. Taemin’s eyes went wide; Heechul said he wouldn’t know I was here. How could he…?

“Taemin?” Onew looked around, a tear fell from the corner of his eye.

“I’m here Jinki. I’m right next to you. Come back to me. Please.” He felt himself losing composure.

“Come back to me.” Onew repeated. “Taemin, I was…I’m so lonely now that you’re gone. I don’t know why. I don’t understand.”

They stayed like that on the dirt path for a long time before Onew rose to his knees and stood carefully, shuffling along again. A little more careful than before, but still having to find purchase on a tree every now and then to steady himself.

Taemin didn’t know where he planned on going but they kept wandering well into the night, they had veered off the path a while ago. He listened to Jinki mumbling something to himself every now and then, gripping at his hair. He looked mad.

“Jinki, just stop already….” Taemin begged and as if he heard the younger boy’s request Onew fell over into the tall grass and remained still.  Taemin sat next to him watching the dim light from the moon illuminate his face. He was clammy and the shadows under his eyes were dark.

“Oh Jinki…” He talked on even though he knew the other couldn’t hear him. It was comfort to himself at least. “How has it come down to this? I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be here for you. It wasn’t your fault. It was nobody’s fault.”

Onew rolled over to him almost as if he was responding to his presence, to his words.

“All this time you’ve been lost and alone. Beating yourself up for something you don’t even remember. Heechul is right, you are stubborn. Is the guilt that much? Did you not have faith in me? I told you I’d find you.” Taemin was crying now. “All the lifetimes we’ve spent together. Finding each other in the oddest of places. Reunited time and time again. Knowing once we did, that feeling, being complete. That’s what you’re feeling.” He sobbed and watched Jinki’s face contort in pain as he curled into himself.

“Taemin…Taemin I’m sorry.” He trembled. He was still out of it, whatever happened while he was with Heechul hadn’t worn off just yet. Onew found himself falling back in and out of his visions.

Onew was in the same bedroom as before; it was dark outside. There was a single figure lying on the bed. He walked up and saw Taemin asleep peacefully, blanket curled around his face. He couldn’t help but smile at how cute he looked, but the moment was short lived when he noticed the smell of smoke creeping into his nostrils. He looked around and saw smoke creeping from under the door.

“Taemin…” He shook the boy. “Taemin wake up please.” He tried pulling him out of bed but he seemed glued to mattress, arm slipping from his grip.

He looked around panicked.

“TAEMIN!” He heard a voice yelling from outside, he went to the window. He saw a version of himself running down the street, throwing his belongings onto the sidewalk. Quickly approaching their home, he could see smoke rolling out of it. “TAEMIN! ARE YOU IN THERE?”

Taemin coughed. The room was filling up quickly. He saw the boy on the bed stir, squinting his eyes as he sat up. “Jinki?”

“Taemin get out…you need to get out now.” Onew’s pleads went unheard.

Taemin started to panic as he came to, realizing what was going on. He ran to the door and gripped the handle.

“Ah!” He coughed, pulling away his palm burning from the hot metal.

“TAEMIN!”

He ran to the window and could only get it open a crack, the smoke rushing towards the fresh source of air. “JI…JINKI! I…can’t…get out.” He banged on the window, looking down from the second story, the thick glass reverberating against every hit.

“Stay there! Stay there, I’m coming after you.”

“No, Jinki don’t!”

Onew looked around the room, everything was hazy, gray swirling around them.

Taemin crouched by the window, tears filled his eyes, he tried to calm his breathing, and stretched his sleeve over his mouth and nose.

They both heard a crash coming from outside.

“No no no no.” Taemin rocked back and forth.

Onew stood helplessly, looking from Taemin then to the door and back again, waiting for himself to burst in but it didn’t happen.

There was a loud crash and then silence. “Jinki…” Taemin got up quickly and went to the door and almost grabbing the handle again, he picked up a towel from the dresser and opened it. A wall of smoke hit him and the heat flooded his face. He stumbled back covering his face looking down the hall. Flames took over the west end of the house they shared.

Onew saw himself at the end of the hall way, slumped against the wall, a beam on top of him. Taemin ran down to him. He looked around, the stairwell was now covered in flames.  Jinki was out cold, the only room left was their bedroom he just came out of. There was another loud crash and Taemin shrieked as another beam caved in from the roof behind him. They were trapped here, the walls and ceiling melting around them.

“Jinki!” He shook at him. “JINKI!” He coughed as he strained to push the beam off, burning his palms in the process. “Jinki…” Taemin patted his cheeks. Gray soot covering it. “Jinki…wake up, Jinki…”

“Taemin…” Jinki said hoarsely.

“Why?” He croaked. Tears streaking down the black ash on his face. “You should have just left me.”

Jinki slipped in a out of consciousness as his breath got shallow. “Never. I…c-could never do that. I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out.”

“Shhhh.” He pulled Jinki into his arms as the wall collapsed completely behind him.

“We’ll find each other again, Jinki. I promise.” The arms around him went limp and even through the lack of oxygen and sobbing he choked out, “I’ll find you, even if I have to go to the ends of universe. We’ll see each other again.”

Onew watched in total shock, in fear, in awe. The smoke not touching him, the heat not breaking a sweat on his forehead. He watched the two lovers, forced to say a rushed goodbye, with an incredible promise hanging on Taemin’s lips as he slipped away.

Onew felt his knees go weak. He collapsed, the roof caving in around him.

Taemin watched Jinki curled up sobbing.  He felt as helpless as he did that night. He knew what Jinki was seeing; he had gone through it himself. The fear, the guilt, living it all over again. The sun was peaking up over the horizon now, hints of blue tinting the black sky.

He heard Jinki’s breathing calm and the trembling eased. Only a few soft words left his lips, barely audible. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Taemin, I love you. I’m sorry.”

~

Jinki finally opened his eyes and felt the cool ground on his face. He groaned, his body stiff. The sun was high but there was shade all around him. He sat up and rubbed his face, trying to get out of the fog he was in.

Taemin sighed in relief, propped up against the tree, when he finally saw Jinki move. “It took you long enough.”  He muttered to himself.

Jinki jerked around to the sound of Taemin’s voice behind him. “Taemin…”

Taemin’s eyes went wide. “You heard me. Then that means…”

Jinki turned to him and cupped his face in his hands. He kept opening his mouth like he wanted to say something. But no words would come to him, he just stared at the younger in disbelief.

“You forgot about me.” Taemin pouted.

“I’m sorry, Minnie, I forgot about everything.” He kissed his forehead gently.

Taemin placed his hands over Jinki’s. “I told you I’d find you. Even if I had to go to the end of the universe. Which apparently I did.” He chuckled.

“I’m sorry. For everything, I’m sorry, I’m so…”

Taemin kissed his lips to stop him from continuing. “No.” He pulled back as Jinki hugged him tightly.

“I love you Taemin. So very much.” He whispered into Taemin’s neck.

Taemin held onto Jinki leaning against the large maple tree, they recounted everything that happened, piecing all of the memories together that spanned over lifetimes with each other.

“I don’t know how long I existed before you came along but…” Jinki rested his head on Taemin’s shoulder as they watched the sunset. “…nothing that happened before you really mattered.”

Taemin didn’t say anything and Jinki sat up to look at him.  The dark haired boy smiled sadly. “I can’t stay.”

Jinki nodded. “I know.”

~

“I liked you better blonde.”

Jinki looked up from his book to see Heechul. No pavilion, no wine, no tricks, just an old friend now. He smiled. “I don’t really care about your preferences.” He teased.

The redhead clicked his teeth as he sat down next to Jinki under the maple tree, the leaves falling down around in the brilliant colors of yellow and orange against the golden grass. “Still petulant I see.”

Jinki laughed.

“You know, I thought after I helped you two get your memories of each other back you would be able to move on from this sad existence of yours.”

“Who said I was sad?”

Heechul looked at him confused. “You’re still waiting here. Instead of moving on.”

Jinki nodded. “I know who I am now and I know why I’m here. And I’ll wait for him as long as I need to. I have several lifetimes of memories to keep my mind occupied until he’s ready to join me again.”

“I think I liked you better before you became a hopeless romantic too.” He smirked at Jinki.

Jinki smiled and went back to reading. Material possessions here were rare, his watch being only one of the few he had seen before this. This book had come to him a few hours after Taemin had left him to go back, to keep living out his time on Earth. Heechul had brought the large volume to him and said the boy had requested it be made. He took it confused at first, smoothing his finger along the embossed letters on the leather cover.

And Then You Found Me.

He flipped open the cover and on the first page there was a note from Taemin.

I don’t know how long I will be gone and I’m sorry for that.  But I hope this will help pass the time until I come find you again.  Always love, Taemin.

Jinki turned the page and was shocked as he started reading, tears welled in his eyes and he had to sit down. It was everything they had experienced from Taemin’s point of view. All of his memories, from every first meeting to every goodbye and everything in between. From the mundane to the most significant.

The book was worn by now, the leather binding cracked, the pages wrinkled in spots from overuse. He had no idea how many times he had read it from cover to cover, the words were as familiar to him as his own by now, and his hands felt empty if he wasn’t holding it. Taemin had left a part of himself behind for Jinki, his own memories. And Jinki kept them close, cherishing them until the day Taemin came back and he could return them.