A dark figure stood off to the side, unnoticed, the aftermath of the accident unfolding around him.  The screams and cries just background noise, people simply blurring into the scenery; he had seen all of this before, almost exactly or in some other variation.   He could still hear the pulse of the passenger drumming faintly in his ears, so he continued to wait patiently.  The paramedics finally arrived at the scene, quickly getting the boy out of the wreckage and going to work on him immediately.  They always carried so much hope he thought to himself, seeing their efforts go unavailing, as he knew they would.  He pulled his pocket watch out to check the time, it wouldn’t be much longer now.

After securing the limp body on the stretcher, the medic continuing chest compressions, they were lifted into the back of the ambulance, the relatively unharmed driver of the totaled vehicle climbing in behind them, clearly in a state of shock.  

“So what happens now?”  A soft voice sounded next to him.

“Now, you come with me Taemin,” he answered very matter-of-factly.

Taemin nodded, eyes glued on the scene in front of him, watching his best friend’s face disappear as the doors of the ambulance closed.  That seemed to have a greater effect on him than the realization that he had just died.  The panic stricken look on his friend’s face, the fact that Jongin was going to have to cope with this.  It wasn’t his fault the other car hadn’t stopped at the intersection, that he was lucky enough to survive and unfortunately Taemin was not.  The sirens blared, and quickly faded as the truck raced to the nearest ER.

He was lost in his thoughts for a while and hadn’t noticed the man dressed in black begin walking down the road. The figure’s blonde hair a stark contrast to his suit.  

He spoke without turning, “please follow me, stay close.”

Taemin jogged to catch up with him.  “Where are we going?”  He questioned, looking to the mysterious man.  

He was answered only with silence.

“Why are we walking?  Can’t you like…teleport us, or something?”  Taemin’s curiously continued.

“Why?  Are you in a hurry?  Do you have somewhere you need to be now?”  The man replied sarcastically, his eyes never leaving the road stretched ahead of them.

Taemin frowned and shook his head, “No, I guess not” looking forward now as well.  

The guide felt bad for his tone before, even though he meant nothing by it, “I know you have questions, and unfortunately I don’t think I’m the best to answer them all.  They will all be answered in time.”

The silence settled between them for a while, the only sound was their footsteps on the pavement.  Taemin took in his surroundings; the populated area where he met his guide took on a more picturesque form.  Housing became more spread out, the green on the trees became denser, and the smell of wildflowers invaded his nose, the small field to the left of them dotted with blooms of white and yellow.  The hum of cicadas filled the temporary silence, and fireflies started to pop in and out of the fading light.  Taemin sighed heavily, was this the last time he was going to experience these things?

Despite the realization (he was never one to dwell) the recently departed couldn’t help but keep interrogating his guide, “so, what are you?  Do you have a name?”

Yet again there was no response.

“How long have you been doing this?” Taemin stared at the other waiting, determination in his face to get some kind of answer.

The man sighed.  “I don’t have a title.  I don’t remember my real name, but others here have called me Onew, and awhile.”  

“Do you like it?”

The man, Onew, stopped suddenly and looked at the young man incredulously, “are you serious?”

Taemin just shrugged.

Onew shook his head in disbelief and walked on.  He was becoming curious himself about the young man, his reaction to situation intrigued him, “aren’t you scared?  Angry?  Or Sad?”

“No, not really.  I guess, maybe, I’m a little sad.  Why do you ask?”  He looked down shuffling his feet lazily along the road, scraping the soles of his shoes.  

“You seem to be taking this well.  Most people have some sort of reaction.  Anger. Fear.  Denial. Those are the ones I see most often.”  Onew looked over at him.

“I think people who may feel those things didn’t try to live their life to the fullest.  Maybe they didn’t make the most of the time they were alive.  Maybe they had something left to apologize for, someone they had wronged, regret.  I think maybe that was why I was never afraid of dying…”  He said rather simply, “I treated everyday as a chance.  I know our time isn’t infinite.  I tried to do my best for myself and treat those around me well.”  He thought about what he said, silent for a few moments. “I mean, I didn’t always succeed, but I tried.  I guess that’s why I’m not angry.  And what’s there to be afraid of?”

Onew raised his eyebrows and gave a quick glance.

Taemin chuckled, “should I be afraid?”

Onew’s lips quirked a little bit and just shook his head.

“Right…denial…well, I’m clearly here.  I’m dead.  I saw it.  None of those feelings can change that fact.”

“Neither can sadness.”  Onew finally chimed in.

“No, you’re right, it won’t.”  Taemin looked to the sky now, the clouds turning a peachy hue in the setting sun.  “But I am sad I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to.  I am…was…” he snorted, “young.  I will miss my family, my friends.  And it makes me feel awful knowing they will be in pain because of me.”  He sighed and returned his gaze to his feet.

Onew nodded, impressed, he couldn’t remember a time when he had led a person with such resolve, especially someone that was taken so suddenly, one so young.  Older souls tended to accept this fate more easily, having more time to come to terms with their mortality.  Younger ones resisted, tried to deny it, not able to believe that their time was up.  But Taemin calmly walked by his side taking in the scenery around them as if he was committing everything to memory.

Darkness was falling, and for the first time since his own life ended, he felt a pang in his chest of regret.  

~

They walked on for a quite a while longer before Taemin started to lag behind.  “Why am I getting tired?”

“Have you ever heard that an amputee’s missing limb could still be felt after it’s gone?”  Onew stopped at a slight clearing, leaning against a wooden fence post.  

Taemin cocked an eyebrow and looked at him questioningly as he pushed himself up to sit on the top of the wooden beam.  “What are you getting at?”

“Your soul still feels attached.  You haven’t completely passed on yet, right now you are in a sort of limbo.  So you may still feel a connection to your body, even if you don’t have one.”  He tried to explain, “you’ve had a tough day, a lot has happened, to say the least, it’s normal to feel worn.  It’s more in your mind than anything.”

“When will that stop?”  

“When you finally cross over.”

“How far do we go? Or how long will that take?”  Taemin took advantage at Onew’s sudden willingness to talk.

“That depends on you.”  

Taemin looked at him, waiting for him to continue.  

“It’s different for everyone.  Some cross over almost right away, some never do.”

Taemin looked down at the blonde.  “Like you?”

Onew was silent for a while and then answered, “Yeah, like me.”

Taemin immediately felt like he went over the line somehow, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything. I just…”

“No, don’t be sorry.  It’s true.”  Onew looked up at  Taemin and smiled, something he couldn’t remember doing for a very long time or maybe ever.

The sight of Onew’s face illuminated in the pale light of the rising moon nearly took Taemin’s breath away, and his expression must have shown it, because Onew kept trying to reassure him.  “Really, it’s no big deal.  I didn’t take it….”

“It’s not that,” Taemin interrupted

Onew tilted his head slightly in question.

“You’re smile.”  Taemin hopped off the fence and stood in front of his guide.  He quickly studied his face from the hairline to the chin, taking it all in, like he’d regret it later if he forgot what this looked like.  “it’s…uhm, well it’s weird but…I find it oddly comforting.”  He said awkwardly as he looked at him in an almost adoring way.  

Onew felt a lump form in is throat before the other turned away to hop over the fence and walked into the small clearing.  The exchange lasted only a few seconds but it left Onew feeling flustered. He watched Taemin’s silhouette wander aimlessly in the field, fireflies buzzing around him, looking up at the stars.  

“Is this the last time I’ll see the stars?” He called back.  

“I can’t answer that.”  Onew cringed at his response, he wanted to tell the boy no.  He didn’t want to be the one to tell him that this could be the last time he could see any of this, do any of this, feel any of this.  Despite his attitude Onew could see the forlorn look growing on Taemin’s face as the darkness fell.  For some reason, he wanted to give the guy some hope.  Something to look forward to.  

Taemin walked back to him after a few minutes, his hands cupped together in front of him.  “Why not?”

“Because I don’t know, it’s possible I guess, everything is different for everyone.” Onew said trying to sound positive, which was risky enough in their circumstance.  

Taemin’s face relaxed a little and he gave a small smile.  “Look.”  He brought his hands up to Onew’s face and opened his thumbs to reveal a bunch of fireflies he had captured in the field.  Onew closed one eye and peeked in at them with the other.  Taemin laughed.  “I hate bugs.  I’m terrified of them, even now as an adult.  But for some reason, these never bothered me.”  

Onew’s vision blurred, when he opened the other eye to try to focus, he saw a child’s hands held in front of him instead of Taemin’s, a little boy of maybe 10 years old shushed him and then laughed running off into the field where a smaller boy was.  

“Hyung stop!”  The younger squealed.  

“Don’t be scared, please!”  

“But I don’t like them.  They’re creepy.  What if one bites?!”  He cringed.  

The smaller one ran off, while the other chased after him, dodging each other, slipping in the damp grass.  Soon they were laughing, stumbling and rolling on the ground.  Eventually the younger boy got tired and sank down on his heels.  

“Here.”  The older one softly said sitting next to him as he held out his hands just as Taemin had done for him a moment ago.  

The young boy hesitantly peeked in and smiled at what he saw.

“See.  It’s nothing to be afraid of.”  

Taemin watched Onew for several moments, a look of utter shock on the guide’s face as he stared out into the open field, never blinking.   “Are you okay?”  

The sound of Taemin’s voice jolted him from the vision that had appeared in front of him.  

“Hyung…are you okay?”  Taemin’s voice had a tinge of concern now.

Jinki nodded absently at first, still trying to gather his thoughts.  “Wait…what did you call me?”  

“Hyung? Is that not okay? If you don’t remember your name, I assumed you didn’t remember your age but you do seem…older than me…”  Taemin grinned. 

When Onew looked back at Taemin it was like it was the first time he was truly seeing him since the scene of the accident, it was new and strangely familiar at the same time. 

A/N: There will be three more parts after this.