Taemin shuffled along behind Onew , remaining quiet for a while. He was a little cautious because of what happened back in that small field. Onew was standing there next to him but clearly his mind had left. And the look in his eyes, whatever he saw, had quite the effect on him while he was in that state. He saw the man’s hands tremble, eyes glass over and start to gnaw at his lower lip. As curious as he was to ask questions he refrained, knowing that it had shaken up his guide alarmingly so if it caused him to break the stoic facade that he had presented from the moment he had picked him up.

Taemin stared up at the sky getting lost in his own thoughts, letting the silence take him in. Onew heard a heavy sigh come from the young man and looked back at him. His face took on an ethereal quality in the moonlight and he briefly thought that something like that didn’t belong in the mortal world anyway. But his brows furrowed and Onew felt bad for his silence not for the first time since being with Taemin.

“What are you thinking about?” Onew immediately cringed at the lame question but Taemin seemed unaffected by the simplicity of it and responded in jest.

“Hmm, everything. Nothing.”

“That’s vague.”

“Sorry, I guess what I mean is, I’m thinking about a lot, but none of it really matters.”

“Why not?”

“Well....I’m dead.” He ended the statement with a little chuckle but Onew knew better than to buy into it.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I just graduated.” Taemin explained. “And I mean JUST graduated. Jongin and I were going back from where the ceremony was to our loft to pack up for the weekend. Spend it with our families before we went on a vacation. I was going to leave for grad school in a couple months. We wanted to take a break together, knowing it was kind of the end of an era.” He chuckled again. “We had no idea the kind of end it would be.”

Onew didn’t know what to say, this wasn’t what he was used to. He would lead the souls down whatever path was needed for them to move on. Babies he would carry and children sometimes held his hand but rarely a word was spoken. But here with Taemin he felt like he should say something, offer some words of comfort or wisdom. Now he floundered, trying to find something, anything, and kicked himself for even opening his mouth in the first place.

“Is it fate?” Taemin asked.

“Is what?”

“Our death. Is it predestined?”

Onew was glad for the somewhat change in subject. Questions he could answer, advice and a shoulder to lean on were a little more complicated for him to deal with.

“Yes. But it’s ever changing. Everything you do, everything you say, sets things in motion. A ripple effect.”

“So I could have been to set to die a certain way yesterday, but something I did set a new a chain of effects in motion.”

“Possibly.”

“Wow.”

“That’s a very simple version of it though. It’s much more complex than that. Not only the choices you make but everyone else in the world, family, friends, strangers. Every action has a reaction and could possibly have enough weight to change the future in the world.”

~

The sun started to come up, rays of light filtering through the trees, dew drops sparkling on the leaves and grass. Taemin heard the sound of water through the woods and turned off into the cut.

“Taemin...” Onew stopped and watched the boy go further into the shade. “Taemin!” He called louder.

Taemin made no move to look like he heard the guide or that he cared right now.

Onew turned to follow him quickly, the boys’ back getting harder to see in the heavy shade of the forest in the new light of morning.

“Taemin...slow down...” Onew stumbled behind him.

Taemin broke into almost a run, ducking under limbs and hopping gracefully over fallen trees. Onew couldn’t catch up, clumsily following the same path but managed to keep him at least in his range of sight.

The light got brighter and he saw the forest thin out. He huffed into the clearing, just in time to see Taemin pull his shirt over his head, kicking his shoes off hurriedly and letting his pants fall to the ground. He turned to Onew smiling brightly before he climbed onto the rocks.

Onew caught himself before he yelled to be careful, almost instinctively, it's not like it mattered anymore. The boy was dead, they were dead.

Taemin looked down to the water about 12 feet below and dived in without hesitation.

Onew watched him nervously and in awe. The way his body glowed in dawn’s light, the way he smiled at him, eyes still somehow full of...life. And fearlessly jumping into the water like that. He saw Taemin emerge, dark hair plastered to his face, he was smiling as he shook off the excess water brushing the raven locks out of his eyes.

“Wooooo!” He yelled out.

Onew automatically smiled, ear to ear. Hearing his laughter and excitement filled him with a warmth he had no idea existed in him until now. It made his heart ache, he felt his eyes prickle with the sting of tears. Not out of sadness though, no. He couldn’t explain it, but he knew this feeling wasn’t sadness.

“Onew!” Taemin hollered splashing around, “jump in.”

“Isn’t it cold?” He called back to him.

“Why? Are you worried you’ll get sick?” He laughed

Onew shook his head, still smiling, not able to wipe the grin from his face if he tried. “No...I...I’m fine up here.”

“Awe, come on.” Taemin pouted as he hoisted himself up on the bank making his way over to the guide.

Onew saw the prickle of goosebumps on his skin and felt his hand twitch in a motion to touch his arms. He stopped himself.

Taemin looked at him playfully, “come on!” He pulled on Onew’s arm, trying to shrug him out of his jacket.

“Stop!” Onew braced himself, digging his heals in the dirt almost toppling them both over.

“Onew~” Taemin whined.

Onew soon found himself laughing, wrestling around with the other as he tugged himself closer to the banks. He couldn’t believe a grown man could sound so adorable.

“Please hyung, swim with me!”

“OKAY OKAY, just stop pulling on me!” He laughed.

Taemin let go and stood smiling pleased that he had caved.

Onew took off his waist coat, and black trousers, folding everything neatly. Once undressed he moved to stand next to Taemin.

“Ready?” Taemin looked over at him excitedly.

Onew gave a brief nod and felt the young man grab his hand, leading him up to the top of the rocks.

Taemin dove in first again, and Onew waited until he saw his head bob back up at the top, black hair matted to his face like before. He chuckled as he watched him shake it out of his eyes.

“JUMP!”

Taemin would’ve been holding his breath had he needed to breathe as he watched Onew dive in, a perfect form gently splashing into the river.

When he hit the water a cold wave washed over him, painful and refreshing at the same time, sending a shiver from his scalp all the way to his toes. As he felt his body start to sink he arched back up and kicked his way to the surface. He popped out, blonde hair sticking about chaotically. Taemin giggled as Onew wiped the water from his eyes, floating only a few feet from the younger.

“Fun, yeah?” Taemin splashed him playfully.

Onew nodded, shaking his hair out smoothing it some.

Taemin splashed him harder with both hands.

“Stop it, you brat!” Onew splashed him back.

They laughed together, playing in the cold river water, swimming, trying to dunk each other underneath. Taemin had pushed down on Onew’s shoulders and the older grabbed his waist pulling him down with him. They both came up seconds later Onew holding Taemin’s body to his, the laughter quieted and their smiles faded.

Taemin looked over him. His body was paler than his, abnormally so, but still beautiful, almost angelic. His light blonde hair was like a halo in the sun. Beads of water cascading down his neck and collarbones like water in the river over the rocks. His eyes, Taemin could almost see himself reflected in them.

“You’re beautiful.” Taemin’s words came out choked.

“What’s wrong?” Onew watched as a tear fell from Taemin’s eye, and trickle down his cheek, getting lost in in the droplets of water on his face.

“I...I...I’m...” More tears fell and Taemin pulled himself into Onew’s frame and held onto him.

“Taemin...what’s wrong? Are you okay?” He was shocked as he held him back. The boy never once looked close to tears when he spoke of his death, his family, his friends, his regrets. And here he was breaking down in his arms in the cold river.

“I don’t know...I ...I don’t....I think so...I think I’m okay.” He stuttered.

“Come on.” Onew floated them to the bank and let Taemin get out first.

They sat in a sunny spot on the grass, letting the sun dry them.

“Taemin...” Onew started. He didn’t know what else to say.

“I’m sorry.” Taemin said embarrassed. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“Are you okay?”

Taemin nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine now. I just felt very overwhelmed for a second.” Taemin lay on his back, hands behind his head. “I don’t understand how this works.” He sighed heavily.

Onew lay beside him mirroring his position. “What is there left to understand?” He asked calmly.

“I’m dead.”

“That’s right.”

“So how am I here? How are we here? Why did I shiver from the cold water? The grass tickles, the sun is warm, but I’m dead. I shouldn’t feel that. And why do I feel so emotional all of a sudden?” He rambled on.

“Taemin, this is a transitional place. It’s a place to prepare your mind, your soul for what comes next. And what happens here is dependent on you, on your needs. It’s all relative.”

“But how am I feeling these things?” He sounded frustrated. “And what’s next, when? I...”

“You remember what all these things feel like Taemin. Just because you died doesn’t mean you don’t remember what it’s like to shiver from the cold, to feel you’re skin warmed by the sun. Just like you remember you’re family and friends, their faces, their voices.” He paused for a while, and didn’t speak again until he noticed out of the corner of his eye Taemin turning his head to look at him. “And three things can happen Taemin. One...you stay here, you don’t accept this fate and stay in limbo. Two...you cross over to the afterlife. Three...you’re reborn.”

“What determines if you cross over or if you’re reborn?”

“Each soul has a given amount of time on Earth, a certain amount of chances, certain things to accomplish. A lot of that depends on choices made, the lives it’s lived, experiences it’s had...” He trailed off.

“Can you I ask you something?”

Onew laughed. “What’s stopping you now?”

“It’s a personal question.”

“You can ask. But I can’t promise I’ll have an answer.”

“Why are you still here?”

“I don’t know. I think maybe if I knew, I wouldn’t still be here.”

“These things...the water, the sun...do you feel them too?”

“Yes.”

“But you don’t have any memories before you got here of you’re life?”

“No.”

“Wow. Isn’t that hard? Doesn’t it make you sad?”

“I don’t know. No. I don’t know any different Taemin. It’s like amnesia I guess. And I remember sensory things, but not emotional things.”

“Will you stay here with me?”

The question was innocent enough given what they were talking about, but it hit Onew hard enough to make his chest ache. The feeling was...familiar.

“Onew...?”

“It’s my job to make sure you have safe passage to the afterlife or to your new life.”

“And if I stay here?”

Onew winced at the question, hoping Taemin didn’t notice his reaction. “Then you decide when I go.”

“Why don’t people just want to stay here?”

“Do you like how you are feeling right now? Undecided, not belonging here or there?”

Taemin shook his head even though Onew wasn’t looking at him.

“You get the chance to start anew or be in peace. Nobody really stays here out of choice.”

“Then why?”

“Unfinished business, unrequited feelings, guilt. A number of things.”

“Thank you.”

“Hmm, for what?”

“For answering my questions. The longer I’m in this place, the more anxious I get.”

“I wish I could provide more concrete answers for you.”

“Just hearing you speak is a comfort to me. You could talk about nothing, and the sound of your voice would soothe me I think.”

Onew’s brow furrowed and risked a glance at the other, hair shinning in the sun, eyes closed, long lashes resting on his cheeks.

As strange as it was he understood. The situation was weird enough as it was, he didn’t need to solidify it by saying anything out loud. But just as Taemin said his voice was a comfort to him, just the boys presence in this short time was giving Onew a warm feeling he was thankful for. He never thought himself troubled since he didn’t recall anything of his past, he always just thought of being an empty shell, but somehow Taemin being here made him feel more complete.

They drifted into a dream like state in the warm afternoon, you couldn’t call it sleep necessarily since they had no bodies to rest, but their minds drifted away.

~Taemin walked up a steep hill, he felt the bite of chilly autumn air on his face. He pulled his coat around his neck and put his hands in his pockets. The sun was setting, casting shadows against the pink and yellow sky. The grassy field was golden and orange, red hovered in the big tree at the crest of the hill. No matter how much he walked he never got closer, the wind picked up, he ducked his face inside the warmth of his coat shielding him from the bitter cold. He heard whimpering up ahead and quickened his pace. The tree kept the same distance away but the cries got louder.

Suddenly he was pulled from the chilly autumn back to the sunny warmth of the river bank. But the crying continued, he rolled over to see Onew clutching at his chest, fabric of his shirt balled up in his fist. Taemin acted on impulse and shook him gently to stir him from whatever was happening in his head.

~Onew heard the sound of a piano playing in another room, the melody was familiar. He walked in the direction of the music as if going through a tunnel, at the end it opened up to a figure seated at a grand piano, his back to him. Onew approached him with confidence, placing his hand on the man’s shoulder. The figure turned to him and Onew was met with a blank face. Nothing. No eyes, no nose, no lips, no structure, just a flesh colored blur. He screamed and stumbled backwards, the tune on the piano never stopping as the faceless figure stayed turned in his direction. He fell onto his backside, still scrambling to put distance between him and the piano. He felt something on his shoulder making him shriek, he turned and the same man was knelt behind him a blurry hand on his shoulder, same blank face. He screamed before everything crumbled into gray ash...

He was met with the bright sun in his eyes and Taemin gently shaking him.

“Hyung....wake up....erm...it’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

He jolted up on his elbows. “T...Taemin....w-what...”

“You were dreaming I guess. You were crying.”

Onew patted his face and felt the dampness from his fallen tears. “I uh..I...wow.” The dream came back to him in flashes the music, the faceless stranger, the ashes.

“What happened?”

“There was...” He quickly stopped, “I uh, don’t know. I just remember us talking a bit ago and then you shaking me back to.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Onew nodded in response but Taemin didn’t believe it for a second. “We should leave here.”

~

Onew’s pace had slowed to the point where Taemin was actually leading him, eyes downcast to the ground. The road had left them long ago now barely a worn down path of grass leading them through, Taemin felt like a turning point had been reached. He couldn’t explain what it was exactly, but something was going on that had started to shake him right down to his core. He didn’t know how long he had been stopped in the middle of the path before Onew walked up and put a hand gently on his shoulder. The touch was familiar to him, even though he barely had any contact with the guide.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I ah...I guess. I feel like I’m missing something all of a sudden. Like there is something here that I’m supposed to find.”

“What do you mean missing...what are looking for?”

Taemin leaned his head back and shut his eyes, “I don’t know, that’s the most frustrating part. It’s like it’s right here in front of me...and I don’t see it. And I feel like it’s really important. Like, I have to figure this out before...”

“Taemin, this is odd. When we first...”

“What’s that?” Taemin cut him off pointing to a small structure. An open pavilion could be seen just at the crest of a small hill off the path ahead of them.

Onew looked up, cursing under his breath when he realized what it was.

Taemin squinted when he thought he saw movement. “Wait, is that...?” He looked over at Onew who had not bothered answering him. “Are there other people here?” Some of the excitement was returning to his face. “Seriously?! Wow, come on!” Taemin tugged at Onew’s sleeve a little before he took off in a run towards the building.

Onew stayed behind in no hurry to meet the person that was there. He’d seen the building before, met the man inside before, many times in fact. He always managed to appear in different places, and it was never a pleasant experience for him.

Taemin got to the steps leading into the roofed in area and paused. It was lovely, the roof’s tiles were a deep brown clay, walls and pillars a brilliant red outlined in gold, the steps made of stone leading to the entrance that was just a little too high for him to sneak a look inside.

He didn’t hear anything either, at first he thought maybe he was seeing things. Stranger things had happened since he’d been here.

“Uh...hello? Is anyone in there?”

“Ah...yes.” A voice replied from within.

Taemin perked up and walked up the stairs, the building was small, no more than a sitting room, a plush cushioned bench lined the walls and a small table sat in the middle with various fruits and wines. Taemin saw the source of the voice lying on his back, one leg bent, his arms resting behind his head.

Taemin quickly bowed at the stranger. “Hi, I’m Taemin.”

The stranger turned his head in slight annoyance, studying him from head to toe for a long moment before sitting up, turning to put his feet on the floor.

“I uh...I’m sorry for just showing up like this, but..” he suddenly felt like he had been imposing and was about to back away before the man smirked at him.

“Oh my. You’re too cute.” He chuckled to himself. He stood and extended his hand in a greeting. “Hello Taemin. I’m Heechul.”

“Hello.”

“Please have a seat, I’m sure you’ve been doing a lot walking.” He gave Taemin a knowing look. “And have something to eat and drink if you like.” He gestured to the table before taking a seat again, leaning back crossing on leg over the other, arms resting on the back of the bench a smug look on his face. “So Taemin...”

Taemin looked outside for Onew, wondering what was taking him so long, before he sat across from Heechul.

“Are you new here? Surely you are,” asking and answering his own question. “I haven’t seen you before. Are you alone? No, you’re not yet. I can tell.” Heechul paused, studying him for a moment. He clicked his teeth. “No, I don’t know you, but there’s something...” His eyes narrowed, “who are you with?”

Before Taemin could reply or before Heechul could answer himself again, soft steps were heard.

“He’s with me.”

Taemin smiled, thankful Onew finally showed up.

“Ah!” Heechul exclaimed. “Of course, it’s you!” He stood up and hugged Onew awkwardly, the blonde’s arms never returning the embrace.

“Heechul.” Onew bowed politely when Heechul released him.

“Just as lively as ever I see.” Heechul resumed his seated position. “I should have known this was yours. I understand now.” He looked over at Taemin. “Please have a seat.”

Onew sighed and took a seat next to Taemin.

“Have a drink, relax.”

Onew glared a little at him.

Taemin looked at him and then to Heechul and back again. “So you two know each other?”

Onew remained stoic. Of course Heechul spoke up, “ah yes. We met not long after he arrived, but it’s been quite sometime since we’ve seen each other.”

“How did you meet?” He kept looking at Onew, who’s face never changed, resembling a statue.

“Very similar to how we met just now Taemin.” Heechul reached to the table and picked up a bunch of grapes. “He was with his guide at the time, and wandered onto my doorstep.” He popped a grape in his mouth and kept talking. “It was so long ago, but I remember it like yesterday.”

Taemin felt his stomach grumble and looked at Heechul eating the fruit.

“It’s not real.” Onew finally spoke up.

“Huh?” Taemin looked at him confused.

“The fruit. It’s not real.”

“But...”

“The wine isn’t real.”

Heechul kept eating indifferent to the others words.

“This building isn’t really here.”

Taemin looked around. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s all an illusion Taemin, created by him.” The last word was bitter. “And don’t believe anything he says, because his words are just as deceiving as the these things you see around you.”

“If it’s his illusion how can we see it?”

Heechul looked at Onew waiting for his answer.

“His illusions are that powerful.”

“Wow.” Heechul said in almost disbelief. “I’m flattered, really.” He reached to the table and picked up an apple. “Here.” He tossed the fruit to Taemin. “Feel it?”

Taemin nodded.

“Smell it?”

Taemin brought the fruit to his nose and nodded again.

“Go on, bite it.”

He took a chunk out of the fruit.

“Taste it?”

Indeed he did, the juice of the apple dripping down his chin as he took another bite. “Yes.”

“I don’t know what your grudge is against me honestly. I’m just here to help. It’s no different than anything else your mind has held onto from the life before. I don’t think I would call that illusions. They’re memories.”

“Help? You have no purpose here Heechul. You’re stuck just like the rest of them.”

“You mean just like you?”

“At least I try to make myself useful.”

“Hey! Just because I couldn’t help you, doesn’t mean I don’t have work to do here.” Heechul raised his voice glaring back at Onew.

Taemin stopped eating nearly choking in surprise.

“What are you guys talking about?” Taemin broke the uncomfortable silence while the two males continued in their stare off.

“I’m a souls last hope.” Heechul finally spoke, the calm back in his voice.

“You’re delusional.”

Heechul ignored Onew and continued answering Taemin’s question. “You know how he guides souls either to the next or after life?”

Taemin nodded, continuing to eat again.

“And I’m sure by now you’ve figured out that some aren’t so accepting of either fate ending up here, lost...so to say. The soul still tries to hold onto the mind and the mind works in very strange ways. Repressing memories, forgetting, sometimes creating an alternative reality, denial, feeling that they have unfinished business.”

Taemin couldn’t help but look over to Onew.

“My job is to help them. Remember why they are here, help them see why it’s their time to move on. “

“You’re full of yourself.” Onew chimed in.

“But it doesn’t always work?”

Onew sighed heavily that Taemin was encouraging this conversation to continue.

“Unfortunately no. Sometimes I’ll make multiple attempts with a soul. Keep coming back to them if I think there is even the slightest bit of hope.”

“You’ve made multiple attempts with Onew?”

Onew rolled his eyes.

Heechul nodded. “Yes, for some reason, I just can’t give up on him.” He smiled at the blonde sitting across from him, amused by how he looked like pouting child.

“So you’re here for another attempt?”

“On him? No. Not today.”

Onew shot Heehcul a look, surprised. He had assumed that’s what this was about. “What?” He hissed through gritted teeth.

“I appeared here for you, Taemin.”

Onew looked over at Taemin and felt his heart sink.