►

Senior year was one hell of a ride.

Miyeon never thought that it would be this difficult, even though everyone kept saying that they have to prepare themselves for the worst. Yet, she didn’t want to think of it until she was there. Sadly, she was right there.

She was now one of those students who spent 9 hours at school a day, going to after school preparation classes after, getting home at 10pm and still studying for the next day. Her days seemed countless, the abyss of words, numbers and historical names were spinning in her head like a crazy tornado. She was lost in maps, schedules, Chinese characters, English listening tasks and all she could think about was the insecurity. What if she wouldn’t make it? What if she won’t do well and her future will be ruined? After all, her future depends on one single day.

People often called the CSATs the most merciless tests of all; they had to take the exams for all 5 subjects on one day, sitting 8 hours at the exam centre, waiting nervously for one to pass and another one to come. It was driving them crazy but they had to. It was what the society wanted them to do.

She learned to hate the system, the school, the subjects and even herself. It was the time of her life when she barely had time to recollect her thoughts at the end of the day without falling asleep. It was unbearable. She was constantly afraid of looking in the mirror, seeing a fragile girl who wanted so badly to fly high but her wings were cut off. She was nothing but a bird kept in her cage, unable to leave her responsibilities and worries.

The only thing that kept her alive was Jungkook. If he hadn’t been there for her, she swore she would have gone crazy. Amidst the black, terrifying darkness that wanted to seize her so many times, he was the one who grabbed her and led her to see the light again.

Because when two broken pieces come together, something unexpectedly wonderful would come out of it.

▌▌

Of course, senior year wasn’t all about life-changing decisions and stressful days. It was mostly about that but there were also some lovely moments that they shared together, despite all the hardships and pressure. Miyeon wanted to engrave all those memories in her heart and carry them with her when she goes to university. She wanted to remember all those delighted smiles, contagious laughs and unforgettable times.

The bowling competitions that Jungkook always won and the other boys couldn’t stop complaining because the golden maknae beat them again; the breaks between classes that were filled with Seokjin’s magnificent rice cakes and more than perfect spring rolls; the canteen talks when everyone’s weekends and afternoons were discussed and there wasn’t a time when Hoseok couldn’t give them a reassuring smile when they complained that they barely had time for themselves; the study sessions in the library when all of them were preparing for a test and seized the opportunity to study and spend some time together and all those afternoons or late night chat talks when they couldn’t sleep or kept themselves awake to study a little bit more and they all made their best to cheer each other up.

Her favourite moment was still that PE class when she didn’t have a jumper and they had to go outside to jog around the school’s building, Jungkook immediately coming to the rescue.

“Oh, you’re freezing!” his eyes widened in surprise when he caught sight of Miyeon who was literally shivering from the cold. It wasn’t that bad, though. It was only the beginning of November but she couldn’t bear chilly weather. Not at all. “Here, take my jumper!” he made an attempt to take off his favourite School ruined my life black hoodie but she grabbed his wrist in the progress.

“Don’t you dare, Jungkook! You’ll catch a cold if you don’t wear it.”

“I won’t,” he shrugged her hand off and finally got rid of his hoodie. A little bit of his abs was exposed while he was struggling to take it off and Miyeon looked away guiltily. Not like she didn’t see his bare skin before but she was still amazed at how masculine and good-looking her boyfriend was.

“I’m a tough guy, you know,” he boosted a proud smirk and her face slowly dissolved into a sheepish smile. Oh, she could give in only a short spare of time if it was something related to Jungkook. He had that effect on her. “But please, take it! I don’t want you to get sick, especially with the exams coming up,” he said lovingly and her heart fluttered at his words.

She was sure that she was the luckiest girl on Earth due to the fact Jeon Jungkook was her boyfriend and the more time they spent together, the deeper she had fallen for him. There wasn’t anything that she particularly disliked about this boy, everything was so right when it came to him. He was so pure, innocent and light-hearted but at times he could be cocky, playful and prominently cheeky. He had so many sides but he never – not even once - hurt her with his behaviour.

She swore that he wasn’t a human being. He was more like an angel that stuck on Earth and accidentally bumped into her. She had no idea how she was able to deserve his love but she made sure to let him know how thankful she was, so she gave a quick kiss on his luring lips.

“Jungkookie, I’m freezing, too!” Taehyung blurted out in a childish manner when he saw their cosy scene. Miyeon took a step back and bit her lower lip in embarrassment. Right, the boys were there, too. To be precise, the whole class was there as well. It was a PE class, after all. Oh boy, the presence of Jungkook literally makes me forget everything else.

“Sorry, I don’t have another jumper,” Jungkook turned to his friend, a bratty smile evident on his face.

“Please…” Taetae pleaded with his puppy eyes and the boys who joined them one by one burst into laughter when they heard his response.

“You’re not my girlfriend, so you can’t get my jumper.”

“I’m your friend, remember?” he huffed like a furious little kid who couldn’t get his favourite candy at the shop. The others couldn’t stop laughing beside them, Jimin even had to grab Yoongi’s shoulder in order to prevent himself from collapsing to the ground in between his contagious giggles.

“Looks like that doesn’t matter anymore,” Namjoon nudged his shoulder gently and everyone knew that it was just an act to . Everyone knew that it wasn’t true, that’s what made the situation even more hilarious.

The boys had never complained that Jungkook put Miyeon over them as it wasn’t true. He spent as much time with them as he used to – the only thing that reduced the time that they could spend together was studying – and found a balance between his duty as a boyfriend and his role as a friend. It was fortunate that Miyeon got along well with the 6 dorks because this way, he could be with his buddies and his girlfriend at the same time. He was sure a lucky guy.

“I swear I’ll get a jumper for you for Christmas, okay? But right now, my girlfriend needs it more than you,” Jungkook reached out his hand and mushy or not, he made a pinky promise right then and there that he would buy a jumper for Taehyung for the next Christmas which wasn’t even far. The CSATs would take place on 17th November and Christmas was only a month later.

“I love how he emphasises the fact that Miyeon is his girlfriend. It’s so cute!” Hoseok put a hand over his heart, his reaction making the lovebirds slightly nervous but also thankful. They still couldn’t get used to how supportive the guys were and they had seen it as a real gift from the boys.

“Whenever I ask Miyeon about Jungkook’s whereabouts, she doesn’t say that ‘Jungkook has gone to the library’, no, she always says that ‘My boyfriend’s in the library.’ I guess they just want to make us feel worse since we don’t have girlfriends.”

“That’s not true,” the couple chorused in unison after Seokjin’s words.

“At least, we have no pressure as what to buy for our girlfriends for Christmas,” Taehyung shrugged his shoulder like it was nothing but his sentence struck them like lighting. The thought that Christmas was coming up in weeks didn’t seem to cross their mind amidst all that studying but they did their best to cover it up.

“You know what you’ll buy for me?” Miyeon raised an eyebrow in question but her boyfriend answered within a second.

“Of course!”

“Oh really? But it’s only the beginning of November.”

“If you hadn’t already noticed, I don’t like to procrastinate things,” he directed a smug smirk at her but in reality, he had no idea what he wanted to buy for her. And in reality, she was perfectly aware of that little fact that her boyfriend was lying. Nevertheless, she smiled softly and let him believe that she knew nothing.

Because until he only lied about such things, it didn’t really matter.

▌▌

The day before the CSATs was a nerve-wrecking one.

Something in Miyeon’s guts told her that it would be the best if she didn’t study more but she couldn’t resist the urge to go through her exercise books one last time. To make it easier, she turned off her phone, so that she could concentrate on the pages in front of her, instead of the adorable messages from the boys.

She was in the middle of re-reading some Chinese practice tests when she heard a knock on her door.

“Come in!” she shouted indignantly as a frown was making its way onto her face. Who would dare to interrupt her when she was studying for the exam of her life?

The sudden visitor opened the door so quietly that she wasn’t even sure that anyone had tried to come in. She turned her head to see who it was and her heart skipped a beat when she realised who was there to see her.

“Jungkook!” she squealed happily, her weary thoughts immediately replaced by a sudden jolt of gratitude. “What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t peculiar for her to see Jungkook in her room as they were officially together and after her parents also received the news, his visits became frequent again. She was lucky because her parents approved of her boyfriend and when he got there, they always greeted him like he was also the part of the family. Small wonder how he could show up at her door on such a day. Her mom must have let him in.

“You didn’t pick up your phone,” the boy pouted.

“I wanted to concentrate on studying, so I turned it off,” she explained and felt a bit guilty from the thought of making him worried.

“Ah, come on!” he came up to her and seized her book. She got up in an instant, getting ready for a fight to get her property back but Jungkook held it up above his head, so there was no way that she could reach it. Her frown deepened. She needed a back-up plan really quickly.

As she was tiptoeing for the book, an excellent idea popped out of her mind. She took a step back and waited for the boy’s reaction. As expected, he looked dumbfounded but didn’t lower the book, so she had no choice but to go through with the easiest method; tickling. She took the opportunity to use his confusion and playfully smacked him in the chest. It caught him off-guard and Miyeon could easily snatch the book from him.

“You’re so cunning.”

“Perhaps, I learned a thing or two from you,” she grinned childishly, making her boyfriend laugh. It was true that it was usually Jungkook who used such tricks on her but they spent enough time together, so she knew his weak points by then.

“Then, you could also learn that we don’t stay up late to study the day before the exam,” he said half-jokingly, although his voice was laced with concern.

“I know, I just feel like I need to−“

“You need to rest,” he cut her off and reached for the book again which she still held to her chest. The more he spoke, the easier it was for her to let go of that book. In the end, he could easily take hold of it and put it in her drawer. “You have to recharge your batteries and go to bed early, so that you can be relaxed tomorrow. Plus, it’s absolutely useless to revise everything today because you are already well-prepared.”

“I−“

“You are, Miyeon. Trust me. I know you and I know how hard you worked. You will do your best tomorrow and you will have wonderful results,” he protested as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

His eyes were shining with fragile fondness, the little stars on the sky of their love the indicators that he really cared for her. It wasn’t an act, he wanted the best for her and wouldn’t stop until she gave in. She knew it, she knew it all too well. Those months together taught her that one person can leave scars on the road of your soul that never seems to heal while others can leave innocent seeds that would eventually turn into a beautiful, resistant tree. The more they care for it, the more it grows.

After his soothing words, she dropped an agitated sigh and sat down at the edge of her bed. Jungkook soon emulated her action and slang an arm around her shoulder. She couldn’t deny that his affectionate words soothed her nerves a little but she was still shaking inside. What if something goes wrong? What if she won’t make it? Such doubts nestled into her mind and kept her in their rigid cage. No, everything will be just fine, she reminded herself while making an attempt to shake off the unwanted thoughts. It wasn’t easy but she tried her best. If Jungkook was there for her, she knew he would do anything to distract her. This time, she wouldn’t even mind it.

“It’s so weird that this will all end tomorrow,” she whispered while her fingers were toying with Jungkook’s fingers. His hand was prominently big compared to her small ones but she liked the sight of it because despite the apparent difference, they seemed like a perfect match. It was like they were made for each other. His hands in her hands, his skin to her skin, their hearts beating like one. Nothing seemed more perfect than that. “We will be over it. No more exhausting PE classes, no more canteen talks, no more classes with the same teachers and same students. It feels peculiar.”

 “Change is not always a bad thing,” Jungkook pointed it out wisely and she couldn’t argue with that. However, she wasn’t sure that she was ready for such change.

“But I’m afraid of that change,” she admitted, nervously biting her lower lip. “Aren’t you?” she looked up at her boyfriend who was currently drawing tiny circles on the top of her hand.

Every single time he made physical contact, his touch triggered pleasant chills running down her spine. It was searing but not in a dangerous way, more like in an attractive way. It was almost like playing with fire; feeling the heat while knowing for sure that she won’t get hurt. Jungkook was the fire that could be passionate and gentle at the same time. She wasn’t afraid to get closer to it.

Her melancholic tone echoed through the silence of the room. For a minute, she could hear nothing, except the lovely melody of their heartbeat. Maybe for someone else, it could be heard as crazy cacophony but for her, it was the most beautiful lullaby.

“I am,” Jungkook cleared his throat but his voice was barely audible.

“You don’t seem like you’re afraid.”

“I know,” he nodded. “It’s hard for me to express my feelings well but I’m afraid, too. Mostly because of the boys,” he confessed, his eyes suddenly filled with grief. His orbs always reminded her of the peaceful waves in the ocean which mildly crashed against the nearby shore, unlike the others which were wrathful and merciless. Now, if she looked into those jet-black holes, she couldn’t miss out on their mournful glistening.

“Are you afraid that you will drift apart?”

“Yes,” he hummed. His voice was so fragile, it hurt for her to hear him like that.

She knew that most of them had chosen a different path. Yoongi wanted to be an interior designer, Hoseok a human resources manager, Seokjin a business manager, so that he could open up his own restaurant one day and wouldn’t face financial difficulties. Namjoon wished to study psychology while Taehyung and Jimin were interested in teaching – especially primary school students -, the grinning angel as a History teacher and the latter as a PE teacher. Jungkook hesitated concerning his future goals because he was quite self-conscious, despite the fact that he was good at almost everything. In the end, he opted for computer engineering because it would allow him to make lots of money and still have time to teach dancing for kids as he always wanted to. Last but not least, Miyeon wanted to be an interpreter because her enthusiasm and skills for both English and Chinese motivated her to choose this path.

All in all, it was obvious that they would attend different universities – luckily, they would all still stay in Seoul – but she knew that it shouldn’t be a problem. Nevertheless, she wanted to ease his worry, so she started talking about her experiences regarding drifting apart.

“When Taeyeon said that she would like to be an exchange student, I encouraged her without giving much thought. As soon as I got home, I broke down in tears. I realised what I would miss if she wasn’t beside me and it hurt like hell. It hurt even more when she left. But eventually, things got easier and it didn’t hurt that much. People get used to missing others. People come and go but as they leave their traces in our lives, we also live our traces in their lives.”

Her words were followed by an inexplicable silence. It wasn’t embarrassing or unpleasant though, it just felt odd. It was like a resigned goodbye. They were perfectly aware of the fact that life was always like this; it was a mysterious ballroom full of people who knew that they may never see each other again, some came on their own, some in the arms of their lover but there was one thing that was common in all cases: they were all there for a reason. Just sometimes they didn’t know the reason themselves.

“Now, you’ll be the one who goes somewhere else,” Jungkook drew another sigh as he thought of the following year.

“That’s right,” she gulped nervously. Even if it was painful, it was her life now; her future, her destiny. She couldn’t do anything besides accepting her fate. “Taeyeon says that it’s totally okay and we’ll still talk but I know it’ll be hard. I will be a university student while she will be a senior and it won’t be an easy thing to arrange dates for us to meet up,” she murmured, a sorrowful sigh escaping . “But we’ll try our bests. Because that’s what we do; we fight for those who we love,” she made an attempt to give him a warm smile but it was barely a flinch.

She was uncertain, worried and undeniably terrified. Even though she would still live and study in Seoul, she knew it won’t be easy to adapt to the new environment, getting to know new people, new professors and different learning methods. This year, she couldn’t even speak to Taeyeon as much as they used to do because she studied so much. Moreover, Baekhyun was there for her when she wasn’t, so Taeyeon couldn’t complain that she felt lonely. Without a doubt, love can change friendships, too.

Miyeon started fidgeting in his arms as another thought flew across her mind. It was screaming in her head for so long, she knew it was time they talked it through. She took a deep breath and asked as seriously as possible.

“What about us?”

“Us?”

“Yeah, you know,” she bit her lower lip as she wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear. Yet, her boyfriend gently patter her head, his silence an encouragement for her to continue. “We’ll attend different universities and have different schedules. I’m really afraid what will happen to our relationship,” she stuttered, her voice almost as shaky as her heart.

She knew that university didn’t mean that her life would end and all her relationships would come to an end. Nonetheless, even her parents couldn’t deny when she asked them that it’s the time of her life when relationships tend to change. Love can change, too. Despite the fact that she trusted Jungkook with all her heart, she wanted to give him freedom, so that when he goes to university, he wouldn’t have to spend all his time with her. On the other hand, she didn’t want him to think that she wanted to push him away either.

Miyeon knew that he also had a say in this, that’s why she asked him. And his response couldn’t have been more reassuring.

“We’ll make it work, Miyeon,” he claimed confidently. “I promise that together, we’ll get through this, too. We’ve overcome so many hardships, I can’t let university stand in our way,” he shook his head fervently and his reaction made her heart leap.

At times like this, she was sure that this boy was a miracle. No matter what happened, he always fought for them, he always fought for her. Even when he had difficulties, he made sure that his tenseness wouldn’t affect her. She had to make him see that she wanted to be there as well. And slowly, as trust started to break down the walls between them, he let her see the side of him that only some people were allowed to see. The more she saw the fragility of this boy, the more she was in love with him.

“Pinky promise?” she held out her hand, her lips raising into a childish smile. Jungkook interlocked their fingers without further hesitance.

“Pinky promise,” he boosted that smirk of his that was seriously beyond words and slowly kissed her on her forehead.

She found heat crawling up her skin while her nerves were beginning to fray. Even her cheeks flamed up at his affectionate skinship but Jungkook always had this effect on her. She tried to cover up her embarrassment, so she laughed it off.

“We are so pathetic, aren’t we?” she giggled, looking down at their intertwined pinkies. It’s a promise that can never be broken, they said. Oh, how she wished it would be true for them, too.

They soon broke into little fists of laughter and it was one of those moments that she wanted to keep for herself so badly. She wanted to remember this special day, this special conversation. It’s true that there was nothing extraordinary concerning their little heart-to-heart talk because there were hundreds of others like this one but still… It was their moment.

“Jungkook?” she poked him on his forearm to get his attention. He averted his eyes back to her, his orbs filled with the most beautiful shooting starts that she had ever seen.

“Yes, babe?” he asked, making her slightly cringe. She found a liking to be called by her new nickname.

“I’m the luckiest girl on Earth to have a boyfriend like you.”

Her sudden confession caught him off-guard but nevertheless, he was thankful for sure. He struggled to say something for a second but then, his lips curved into an ethereal smile.

“What would I do without you?” he sighed, pulling her closer to his chest, so that she could hear as their hearts were beating together in perfect harmony.

I hope our promise can never be broken either.

▌▌

The day had come.

She had already woken up when her morning alarm broke the utter silence of the room. She slammed her hand on it but she was so nervous, she almost pushed it off her bedtable. She swiftly put on her school uniform and after she had put her hair up into a strict ponytail, she stayed in front of the mirror for one more minute. It was the last time she had to wear her school uniform and it suddenly felt so saddening. She couldn’t run away now, the day that they all dreaded for most of their life had arrived after all. It was now or never.

“I wish I could go back to enjoy just one more day at school,” Miyeon murmured under her breath and gave her reflection one last nod before she headed downstairs.

Her parents were already waiting for her in the kitchen and her mum even made her favourite tuna mayo kimbab with rice, just to make sure that she could start her big day right with enough energy and the sufficient amount of nutrition. She had to force herself to eat because she didn’t have an appetite as her stomach churned with worry every single time she remembered what day was it.

After breakfast, her mom packed even more food for her but in the end, it was her dad who gave her a lift to school along with Chanyeol who was still trying to stifle yawns. He had to get up earlier if he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to cheer for his sister who was nervous as hell.

“I got up at 6am even though I don’t have school today because I wanted to perk you up but I don’t think I’m doing a good job,” he pouted like a little kid and looked at Miyeon who chuckled feebly in response.

“I really, really appreciate your effort, Yeollie, but there’s nothing that could make me feel at ease right now. When you take your CSATs next year, you will understand why I feel the way I do.”

“Really?” he raised an eyebrow in question, a sly smirk insinuatingly appearing on his face. “Even my aegyo can’t?” he wiggled his eyebrows and if it hadn’t been the day of her exams, she would have chortled at his reaction but she wasn’t in the mood at the moment.

“Nope.”

“Don’t be sad, no no no. You’re not alone, no no no. You always became a light for me,” he sang the iconic No No No by Apink at the top of his lungs but the worst of all was the fact that he sang it with his high-pitched voice. The whole situation was beyond hilarious because Chanyeol was so into singing that he didn’t take notice of his surroundings, thus he didn’t realise when they finally arrived at their school.

Miyeon glimpsed at their dad sideways who managed