“I’m sorry.”

That was the last words Miyeon had said before she got to her feet and left the library. Although she had apologised for the hundredth time, the words still felt unnatural and incredibly cruel. She couldn’t even once look into his eyes – his beautiful, jet-black eyes which were filled with despair and insecurity – while she said that. She felt ashamed but all those stuff that happened since they had been a couple was weighing down on her.

She was literally running away from the library when tears started to leak out. She couldn’t stop; she had to run and cry. She didn’t peer over her shoulder, she didn’t look sideways. She didn’t need to. Jungkook didn’t follow her. It was over. There was nothing else to say.

“We need to break up.”

Those five words had to be enough.

▌▌

Everything started to go wrong when her little brother – Chanyeol – started to go out with Dara. She was a tall, slim, model-like girl with long, straight, pit-black hair and a kind of attractiveness which with she could wind the guys round her finger. Chanyeol had a crush on her since he started high school. Poor boy, Miyeon always thought. She was a pretty popular girl and her brother simply didn’t know how to behave to a lady. He could talk with them; he could easily make friends with them. But to flirt with them? No way! He was too shy and innocent for that.

Yet, it seemed to change after Dara had said yes when he asked her on a date for the first time. Miyeon didn’t like her but it was just her being her usual cautious and caring self. She was his Noona, after all. She always kept an eye on them but they seemed pretty okay after a few weeks, so she let her precaution to subside.

It was a week or so after they were officially a couple when Dara’s true self was revealed.

Miyeon was sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for Jungkook and his squad to show up, but instead of the fun-loving and loud boys, Dara was the one who decided to sit beside her. She widened her eyes while the other girl was running a hand through her hair.

“Well, I suppose you remember for our little talk,” Dara started, looking straight into her eyes and she suddenly felt so small and worthless next to a shining creature like her.

She is insanely beautiful, said Chanyeol one day. She wanted to know why he felt that way. However, all she saw was a primadonna girl with tons of make-up on. She could have been beautiful but she didn’t let the world to see her natural beauty. So, as far as she was concerned, she was just another one of those rich, shallow-minded girls.

“Yeah, I do,” she nodded anxiously while searching for a familiar face.

“Good,” Dara added with a dangerous grin. The next moment, her usual kindness vanished and something more serious and baleful came into her eyes. “Then, let me ask you something. Do you know why I am dating your brother?”

“I guess because you like him,” said Miyeon crossly.

Dara narrowed her eyes. She suddenly looked so scary and dangerous that Miyeon had to look away to make sure that she wouldn’t start crying. She remembered for this expression on Dara’s face. She found it difficult to forget; she looked just exactly like this when they first encountered. When Dara threatened her.

It was approximately a week after Jungkook and Miyeon revealed that they were a couple. She was walking to her classroom when somebody took her by the arm and stopped her. When she looked up, she found Dara standing in front of her, still not letting go of her hand.

“Do you really think that your life is a fairy tale? That you can get your Prince Charming?” Dara raised one of her eyebrows in question while giving her a frowning look.

Miyeon looked puzzled and didn’t even know what to say or do. She tried to remain calm but it was extremely hard while somebody was teasing her and holding her hand stiffly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know,” she let out a silly, high-pitched laugh. “I’m talking about you and Jungkook.”

Miyeon edgily rolled her eyes. Yeah, right. Who wasn’t talking about them? The whole school seemed to know about the ‘KookYeon’ couple as the usually called them. Even though they didn’t kiss in the hallways – not like they kissed so many times but still −, confess to each other in front of their classmates – both of them even waved the idea away – and they barely held hands in school – just sometimes under a table in the library −, everybody was talking about them. To tell the truth, not exactly in a polite way. More like in a nasty and envious way. Almost a y way.

That couldn’t bother her in the beginning but as time passed, she started to have enough. Yet, that day, she couldn’t even imagine what was following.

“Yeah. What about us?”

“You little loser think that you can get him away from me but I’m not going to let that happen,” exclaimed Dara with unquestionable shrillness. “I am the one who deserves him and not a cheap girl like you. So you better break up with him or else…”

“Or what?” Miyeon finally found her voice. She couldn’t be scared because she got used to all the hate and nasty gossip. Even though Dara’s threat was a little bit too much, she couldn’t intimidate her. She was a strong girl. Or at least, that particular time she was.

“Oh, look at you! The loser is trying to win against a real princess,” she guffawed ridiculously. If Miyeon’s life was a fairy tale, it seemed that Dara was the Evil Queen. “Or else, I’m going to make my moves. So you better watch out. And you better know where you belong.”

Her words were harsh and intimidating. In spite of all this, Miyeon maintained the eye-contact and waited for her next move. Dara was the first to back off and released her hand. She gave her a final, frowning look and walked away.

She watched her leaving while trying to in some air and calm down. But after that particular encounter, her heart was never at peace.

Weeks passed but it felt like nothing had happened since they last met like this, face-to-face. Dara was grinning, enjoying the rare time when she knew something that other people didn’t. Miyeon was utterly nervous because she suspected that she didn’t want to hear her reasons.

“Not at all, sweetheart,” she shook her head while pouting. “I’m dating him because I’m getting my revenge on you. You know, if I hurt him, I will hurt you.”

Miyeon had to force herself to sit still and be quiet. She could have cursed at her like Yoongi did whenever a teacher was messing with him. She even wanted to slap her even though that wouldn’t solve the problem. Dara wasn’t just annoying but also cruel. It wasn’t enough for her and her squad to abuse her when Jungkook or the boys weren’t around? To call her a ‘fat and ugly ’, to act like she’s invisible, to mess with her whenever she makes a mistake? To spread rumours and fake things about her? To ruin her life and beautiful relationship with Jungkook?

Now, she wanted to say that dating his little brother was also part of her plan? Oh God! That girl was totally insane! How could she be so heartless? To use a boy like that? Miyeon had no idea of Dara’s plan and the worst was that Chanyeol didn’t know either. It seemed that he was perfectly happy in a fake relationship.

“You are so bad, Dara. Do you hate me so much that you use my brother to hurt me?”

“Oh, yeah,” she confessed right away. She didn’t even blink, she didn’t even smile. She just let the words to slip out of like it was an obvious fact. “And I’m going to succeed because I know how much you love your brother.”

“I’m not going to break up with Jungkook,” she said stiffly and rose from her seat. She looked down at Dara who was now smiling but not in a kind or a beautiful way. Most likely in a dangerous way.

“We’ll see,” she whispered mysteriously but Miyeon had enough. She confidently walked away but when she finally got out of the building and reached the backyard, tears started pricking her eyes.

▌▌

Dara committed her biggest crime when she broke up with Chanyeol. Not to mention that she said that it was because Miyeon told her to do so. Like every broken hearted guy with a caring Noona, he also believed that and didn’t even listen to Miyeon when she was trying to tell the truth. He was falling apart and she couldn’t do anything to help him to get over it because she was also falling apart.

Chanyeol now hated her and clarifying herself was almost a dead case. Due to the fact that he couldn’t even hold a grudge for more than a few hours, he wasn’t like this before. He wasn’t resentful. Or at least, not to that extent. But for the time being, he couldn’t even stand being beside her; not even in the cafeteria, on the bus or at the kitchen table.

By implication, Dara’s teasing was crueller than ever. The worst was that she couldn’t even talk to anyone. She couldn’t explain anything to his little brother who wouldn’t believe her after all the time when she was holding in her emotions. She once blurted out how Dara but he didn’t believe her and said that she was a total liar. After that, she didn’t even want to look her in the eyes, so how could she even try to persuade him?

She didn’t want to talk to her parents because she was pretty sure that they would make a big deal out of it and she didn’t want that. Taeyeon was always busy attending afternoon programs with her hostage family, so she didn’t have the heart to bother her.

And there was Jungkook. She was afraid to tell him anything because she knew that he would start to blame himself. Miyeon knew him well and didn’t want it to happen. She also realised during those months that she didn’t deserve his love. He was so kind and caring and warm-hearted. Such a beautiful person!

Every single day, he asked how she was doing and she didn’t want to let him down saying that the whole school hated her because she was Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend. He always said goodbye with a kiss on her forehead and every single time neither of them had CSAT preparation classes or trainings, he walked her home and held her hand tightly. She always found it difficult to let his soft hands go. Those times were special and calm. Something that she wanted for a long time.

Jungkook was her shelter and her heart was always trembling with great anxiety when he leaned down and kissed her − slowly and gently. As far as they were concerned, kissing was rare because they were still both shy and liked to keep things simple and sensible. It didn’t mean that they didn’t like each other. It meant that whispered confessions and interlaced fingers were the perfect combination for them.

Jungkook was even cuter as weeks passed by. He even bought her a warm, fluffy scarf for Christmas when he noticed that she wasn’t wearing one and was so freakingly proud when she finally wore it with their couple boots.

He sang for her and she loved the way how the boy’s angelic and soft voice could make her heart flutter. While she was listening to his beautiful lullabies, she could forget about everything that was bothering her: the haters from school, pressure from teachers and parents due to the CSAT, sleepiness and tiredness and even her doubts concerning their relationship. It was just Jungkook and his beautiful voice, nothing else. These times represented perfect calmness and joyful happiness. Beautiful and sweet memories.

However, if something is sweet at present, it would eventually turn into a bittersweet flashback as time goes by. She couldn’t deny it. These were now all sorrowful reminders of those so-called better days.

After all, Dara was right about one thing − that her plan would succeed. She broke up with Jungkook. The reasons were clear; Dara was just the top of the iceberg. She knew that she wasn’t strong enough to bare the pain that the haters caused them. It was November when they became official and now it was February. 6 months passed since their first real encounter.

They were exactly just like 6 months ago. They were total strangers who didn’t want to talk to each other. The difference between now and September was the great sorrow that they had to experience when they bumped into each other. Anxiously looking at each other, bowing ashamedly when all they wanted to do was to say sorry.

But somehow, they couldn’t say it. Not again.

▌▌

Nearly three weeks passed since Miyeon told Jungkook that they should break up. During those weeks, she had two interactions with the boys but neither of them involved the golden maknae.

Once, she was in the library, looking for an English dictionary when she bumped into Taehyung who seemed pretty radiant to see her. He asked how she was doing and constantly asked questions about her. He didn’t seem embarrassed or puzzled to talk with his friend’s ex-girlfriend, so she also tried to be confident and casual. In the end, they had a nice, little chat before they both headed home.

Next, it turned out that Yoongi would be his partner for a literature class. At first, it seemed that they wouldn’t talk about anything, except the book that they had to read for class. But to her great astonishment, the blonde-haired guy didn’t get to his feet as soon as the bell rang. Instead, completely out of the blue, he blurted out:

“Kookie told us what had happened,” he started running a hand through his hair. “And you know what? Just don’t give a crap about those haters. They aren’t worth it.”

Miyeon was truly surprised at the boy’s words. Even though it seemed that he tried to act cool and be his usual swag self, she could feel the basic sincerity of his words. She didn’t even see this side of Yoongi before, so she was particularly thankful for him.

“But it’s not that easy,” she sighed while her heart was aching.

“I know,” the boy nodded firmly and seriously. “A lot of people accused me of being an impervious jerk but you know what I say?” he asked raising an eyebrow at her but she shook her head in response. “Never mind. Because you are valuable and important for some people and you only need to know what those people think about you.”

His words were filled with confidence, honesty and loving care. Miyeon didn’t realize that he was such a reserved but thoughtful person until this particular talk. Now, she saw what other people were missing when they walked past Yoongi, saying that he’s just a reckless and rebellious teenager. He was so much more than that.

“And I don’t believe you should grieve over gossips and hateful comments. Neither does Jungkook,” he added firmly and still maintained the eye-contact.

It was pretty hard for her to even breathe. Her heart sank whenever she heard Jungkook’s name because she couldn’t get used to the thought that he wasn’t with her. Although, she made the decision first and he accepted her opinion, she somehow wished that he didn’t do so. Now, that he wasn’t holding her hands, kissing her forehead or putting his soft arms around her waist, she undeniably missed him.

She knew why they said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. She missed him so much and it hurt like hell.

“Thanks for saying that,” she said thankfully but she didn’t know that her attempt to give him a grateful smile succeeded or not.

Yoongi simply waved his hand and shrugged his shoulder. He probably thought that he didn’t do anything special, except expressing his opinion but his words meant so much for her.

“Anytime,” he offered politely. Then, he yawned, rubbed his eyes and walked out of the classroom.

Due to their rare encounter, she didn’t think that after talking with Taehyung and listening to Yoongi’s words, there would be another interaction soon. But on a rainy March day, it happened again.

“Where is your Prince Charming, Miyeon? She’s saving another girl, huh?” Bobby asked pouting but she didn’t even look sideways. She was looking straight forward and trying to have control of herself. She remembered Yoongi’s words and suddenly felt a rush of emotions going through her body.

They were sitting in their classroom, waiting for the bell to ring and the teacher to enter. Bobby – her shameless, bold and arrogant classmate who wished to be cool but he couldn’t win over Jungkook and his squad – chose this moment to start teasing her like almost every single day.

„Oh, come on! You knew that would happen someday, right? I mean he’s just too good for you. He could have any of the girls, so why you? You’re not y, you’re not easy-going and you’re not even popular. You just don’t belong together, accept that,” he continued in such a reckless tone that she would love to snap him.

Fortunately, before she could even respond, a confident voice filled the classroom.

“You are one of the reasons why things are like this, so you better shut up before I kick your ,” said Namjoon walking to his seat, followed by his six friends. Miyeon was looking for one particular face but Seokjin got in the way, so she couldn’t see Jungkook’s reaction.

“Okay, okay, easy, man! I’m just messing, you know? Nothing serious,” claimed Bobby and for the first time that day, his boldness waned. He even took a step back from her table and tucked his hands into his pockets.

“Yeah. Even if it’s nothing serious for you, it was once serious for them,” added the eldest of the squad, stiffly looking into Bobby’s eyes, which was surprisingly and unquestionably scary. Not a single person saw Seokjin acting like this before.

“Back off!” exclaimed Yoongi impatiently while giving him a frowning look and sitting down at his table.

Bobby seemed to be pretty frightened and immediately walked to his seat. He was scared and didn’t even say a thing for the rest of the class. Miyeon thankfully smiled at the boys and mouthed a ‘thank you’ for the three of them who stood out against the fearless boy. Seokjin gave her a reassuring smile, Namjoon nodded firmly while Yoongi didn’t even care about what happened after his confident shout.

Jungkook caught sight of her but didn’t act awkward anymore. He flinched like he exactly knew what she was going through and this was just a simple and small sign. A sign of love.

▌▌

She couldn’t forget Jungkook’s face, even when she was going home after finishing her CSAT preparation class.

Maybe it was because they were always walking together these streets until their break-up. They got on the same bus, headed for the same direction and also figured out the perfect route from school to Miyeon’s house. Then, he walked for some more minutes to his dad’s house, or took the bus when he was at his mom’s.

Now, this streets felt lonely and empty without him. Too calm and too scary. There was no sign of joyful laugh, happy giggling or excited screaming, not even from the distance. It was just her and the sound of her boots when she stepped into a puddle.

During the day it was pouring with rain but it seemed that by 7 o’clock, it had slowed to a heavy wet mist. It didn’t matter for Miyeon because she didn’t take an umbrella with her, so she would definitely get wet sooner or later.

She let out a tired sigh as she was walking. She got to a narrow, dark street which was terrifyingly frightening because the lamps weren’t even lit up.

“That’s my luck,” she murmured to herself while trying to walk confidently. First, it was just Bobby and his usual teasing routine. Then, she bumped into the squad and caught sight of Jungkook. Thirdly, her CSAT preparation class was harder and more tiring than ever. Not to mention that she didn’t have an umbrella. On top of that, she even had to walk a totally dark street alone because someone didn’t change the light bulbs. What a lovely day!

She almost turned into the next street when she noticed a figure who was leaning his back against the wall of an abandoned shop and it seemed that he was struggling. He even murmured to himself but she couldn’t understand him. She didn’t make an effort to do so as he was just a total stranger after all.

Then, when she finally wanted to march on, she realized who it was. Her heart immediately missed a beat.

“No, that can’t be,” she whispered open-mouthed, but out of curiosity and great fear, she took a step forward to the stranger. Then, another one. And then, she crouched down to him.

“Aigoo, Jungkook!” she cried out in horror, examining the boy’s bruises. It looked like he had got beaten up. Badly. His cute, innocent, childlike face was now covered with bruises. “Are you okay? What happened to you? And did you call the ambulance?” she asked stiffly, didn’t want to waste another minute examining him. He was hurt, she was certain of that. He needed help.

Jungkook just looked at her with a tired smile but his eyes were wide open. It was obvious that he was surprised to see her. Not like it wasn’t her neighbourhood. But they didn’t meet one single time in this area after their break-up. So, it must have been fate that she happened to notice him that particular day.

“Jungkook, say something!” she touched his face to make sure that he was awake. “Are you even conscious?”

“Yeah,” he no